


Fire and Ice

by LightofNights



Category: Marvel, The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies), Thor - All Media Types, Thor - Fandom, Thorki - Fandom
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Asgard, F/M, Hermaphrodites, Jotun, Jotunheim, Light Bondage, M/M, Mild Gore, Multi, Violence, dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-07
Updated: 2015-03-23
Packaged: 2017-12-04 13:51:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 155,608
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/711456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightofNights/pseuds/LightofNights
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is fire, wit and hate. For glory, power and vengeance, there is no price too high to pay. Until he meets Thor. A God that repays insults and corruption with his own brand of kindness. </p><p>But even so, are some ambitions so great that even love cannot eclipse? Can Thor save Loki? Or will Loki's lust for power devour everything, including Loki himself?</p><p> </p><p>“Does your life mean so little to you Loki?” Thor asked softly.</p><p>Loki let out a bitter laugh.</p><p>“My life is no precious thing to me Aesir. I do not fear death” He said.</p><p>“Then what do you fear?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Enemies of the Heir

Odin Allfather stood tall and proud; before the golden halls of Asgard with Gungnir, the spear of heaven in his aged and battle hardy hand.

Cheers erupted when the monstrous door at the end of his hall swung apart to reveal Thor Odinson, in all his magnificent glory. Red cape fluttered and blew behind him, as he walked down the hall towards Odin. There was a glint from his helmet where the glorious light of the sun met finely crafted metal.

A moment of joy, a swell of pride, grew in Odin’s chest as he watched his beloved son strode towards him. Then all too soon…Thor swept down to one knee before the King of Asgard.

Raising Gungnir by a fraction, Odin slams the base of his staff against the hard pavement of his hall. Boom erupted, echoed, loud and clear, silencing the entire hall before he spoke.

“Thor Odinson, my first born, my heir…!” Odin started, gazing at the young man before him.

He thought for a split of a second that there would never be a moment he was more proud of his son… The golden prince of Asgard.

Brilliant blue eyes were looking at him in happiness and excitement, a wide smile on the boy’s face. Today at last, he was to be King. Crowned by Odin’s very hands.

Then Odin continued after barely a pause.

“Do you swe-” Odin chocked; his voice would not come.

Before he even knew something was dreadfully wrong, a sudden and extreme weariness spread through his body like wildfire and he crumbled onto the ground. Gungnir clattered. All about him were shouts and gasps of horror and disbelief. He fought to keep his eyes open, but even as he tried to get up, his vision was fading. And the last thing he saw, was Thor's frightful expression as he rushed up the steps to him.

“Odin!” He could hear Frigga’s frightened voice in a distance.

He could barely mouth his son’s name when he felt a monstrous presence seeping through him. It was so very cold. A coldness that frightened him, a coldness that was born from his very bone marrow and it was foul… its presence curling and seizing every inch of him and it was pulling him under a great rush of icy water.

 _“And now you shall know fear… Odin Allfather….”_  Cold cruel voice whispered in the depths of Odin’s mind.

“Get the healer!” Thor thunderous voice echoed through the hall.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Deep in the dark towers of Jotunheim, beneath the gaze of the bleeding moon, a blood curdling shrieked echoed and pierced through the very depths of its land, shaking it. In one of the darkened room of Laufey’s magnificent fortress, pots clanged, glassy bottles crashed and smashed against the ice cold ground.

Loki coughed; blood spurted from his panting lips as he forced himself up to all fours; the gems and silver threads weaved beautifully into the strands of this long jet black tresses glinted beneath her red gaze. And the gold that adorned Loki’s slightly curve horns glimmered.

He moaned; his dark nails scraped the icy ground as a dark cold chuckle bubbled from his raw throat. His naked body that glistered in sweat shook with pain, but he did not care. He laughed maddeningly, his scarlet eyes looking about the lovely runes that encircle him; written in the vilest of language. They were all drawn with his own blood.

He coughed again, his chest burned as he drew in a shuttering breath.

His blood magic had worked... He could feel it; its cold icy malevolence humming in his very bone. And he could feel his own sorcery continue to seep from his every pore, fueling his spell.

The old fool had fought hard and good, but the Great Odin Allfather had lost. If the old bastard had fought harder, it might have killed Loki or broke his mind. But it would seem that the God of War was not so mighty after all.

Then too soon, someone was pounding on his door.

"Loki! Open up!” Laufey’s loud booming voice rang to Loki’s horror.

“I am not fit for presentation at the moment dam!” Loki said hurriedly.

“I do not care! Open this damn door or I will break it down!”

Loki’s eyes widened.

No! No! No! His dam cannot see that he was delving in such foul magic. Blood magic was not viewed kindly at all on Jotunheim, or any realm for that matter.

Panic surged.

“In a moment please!” Loki said urgently, pushing himself at once to his feet. His eyes were frantic as he looked down at himself. Cut up and covered in blood. The icy floor of the chamber stained in blood and broken glasses. There was no way he could be presentable; not in the next ten minutes at least.

“Loki! Now!”

“Please dam! I will meet you in the hall within the hour! Please!”

There was a moment of silence where Loki was terrified that Laufey would not hear his pleas and would simply barge in.

“Within the hour” Laufey’s voice came finally.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki had met his sire and dam in their hall as promised, conjuring what lie he could of that scream they had heard coming from his room earlier that evening. He could tell that neither of them believed him in the slightest, but they did not dare question him further. He knew that though they loved him, they too feared him, just as everyone did.

In Laufey King’s courtyard covered in ice and snow, Loki stood quietly, gazing at the blood red moon high above that likened the eyes of Jotuns against the pitch black darkness of the starless sky.

Long had the Aesir thwarted Jotunheim. Long had the Aesir laughed and mocked them. Long had the tyrant Odin Allfather sees to it that Jotunheim crumbles. Slowly, agonizingly, rubble by rubble, so that Laufey could watch painfully and helplessly as his kingdom dies a slow torturous death. As his people cries in despair and sorrow. As their crops wither and life stocks die, and their ground crumbles beneath their feet… but not for long anymore…

“Even in the deepest of Odin-sleep, I hear that you still see and hear all…” Loki whispered. “Then I hope you see this… I hope you hear me…I am the crown prince of Jotunheim. And I will take back what is mine. Watch me, Odin Allfather…and fear the wrath of your enemy…” He hissed into the cold silence.

He stood tall and proud; his long black locks that were neatly combed back from his slender features and his sculptured ears adorned with rings of golden piercings fluttered behind him, as arctic wind blew and funnelled through the night. The gems in his locks, the silvery thread and the gold too on his horns glittered, touched by the soft yet harsh light of the moon.

Clad in his usual garb of white fur strapped elegantly over his hips he strode across the yard, the fair rings upon his ankles clinked, and golden vambrance bearing the finely sculpt visage of coiling serpents with its mouth wide open on both his arms glint even in the darkness.

Tall willowy trees of grey bark stood all around him, but their enormous branches that spread above had long lost their splendor; standing bare and dead, as everything else in the realm.

He barely remembers their colors and their beauty anymore. But if he thought hard enough, he could sometimes remember being carried in Laufey’s strong arms through a leafy roof of gold and its pillars of silver. He could vaguely remember their song of spring… the smell of life, before war spilled; staining all in red, drenching the land in death and plague.

Endless summer had surged the land and the burning nights were everlasting beneath the blood red moon since the lost of the casket of ancient winter; the heart of Jotunheim. The trees had slept since then, bearing no more beauty to any eyes. Snowfalls were rare, the icy wind had lost its bite and the ice had then began to melt, flooding the lower lands.

A sense of nostalgia clutches Loki as he stood silently by the threshold of the courtyard. Then he turned slowly and whispered a soft enchantment.

Tingling warmness flutters through his body, spreading down his arms. Mist of golden threads stirred and curled all about him. The soft apparition began to coalescence and shimmer, and they began to gently entangle with the trees; spreading slowly from one to the other, curling and contracting like smokes.

Before Loki’s eyes, the landscape of cold deadened emptiness began to change. It was gradual but terrifyingly beautiful… Golden leafs bloom one after the other. A vision of grey white morphed to gold.

Loki smiled.

He made a vow then…When he is crown, he will be crown under these roofs of gold, roofs of new life and hope, or he will not be crown at all.

When he turned to leave, Loki caught movement at the corner of his eyes. Two toned twelve feet towering form of his brothers, Helblindi and Býleistr emerged from the shadows.

“You are restless tonight brother” Helblindi said.

“Aye”

“You are going somewhere are you not?”

“What is it to you?”

“I’ve already told you. Where you go I will follow. My brother, my prince, future King of Jotunheim”

“As will I” Býleistr, the youngest vowed.

“Do you even know where I am going?” Loki asked.

“No. But even to the fires of Muspelheim or the rotting depths of Niflheim I will go with you” Helblindi said without hesitation.

“The fires of Muspelheim and the depths of Niflheim would both be preferable to where I intend to go tonight”

“Do you really think anything you say could ever stop me from following you, dear brother?” He questioned, taking a step forward.

Loki simply looked at him silently.

No...Truth be told, he did not think anything he could say would convince Helblindi to leave him alone. But he could always give it a try...

“Don’t follow me Helblindi. Not this time...” Loki said quietly. “If I do not return... the throne is yours”

Helblindi gave a low deep chuckle at Loki’s feeble words as he knelt down on one knee, going as close as possible to Loki’s level.

If he had truly wanted the throne, he would have left Loki to his own device a long time ago, and Loki would most certainly be dead by now, for the crown prince is very capable of getting himself killed in his grand schemes and plans.

Loki is likened wildfire; untamed and feral, volatile and unpredictable. Though the prince does not lack wits, he has no judgement for danger, especially when it lies in the way of his desires.

Their sire and dam knows this too. And they know too, that Loki is not one that allows himself to be caged as if a bird with clipped wings and tied feet. He would wilt, he would die…or if not, loath and abhor them. And that is a terrifying thought.

There is something dark in Loki, something akin to malice and wickedness in his very being. This darkness that is growing ever stronger as Loki grew. And this frightened them. And so, they let Loki go where Loki will.

“Do you know what dam always say to me?” Helblindi asked. “He says to me... Helblindi my child, look over your brother. Though he is cunning and sharp of tongue, he is reckless. Follow him and look after him”

Loki turned to look at Býleistr now. The youngest's long snowy hair was tied in a lose braid and it caresses down his pale cerulean back like silver falls. Narrow aristocratic nose, oval face and translucent red eyes that seem as if the very heavens burn in their very depths. Some say Býleistr looked much like their sire when their sire had prefer to grow out his hair rather than keeping himself shaved; but even more claimed that Býleistr was more beautiful than Farbauti had ever been.

He is beauty personified. The wet fantasy of Jotuns.  

“What of you? Will you be the wise one and stay?” Loki asked.

“I am always the foolish one. Not the wise...I go where you go brother” Býleistr grinned.

Loki let out a sigh, taking a small step back. “Then swear it that you will do exactly as I say if I allow you to follow” He commanded.

Without hesitation, Helblindi and Býleistr withdrew a silver dagger from their pouch and put it to the palm of their hand, their fingers curled tightly against sharp metal and slowly they tugged the dagger back, revealing slick red wetness in its wakes. Scarlet bloomed, blood trailed down from their close hand to their wrist and still they continued to trickle. Dripping onto cold hard pavement beneath them.

“A blood oath I swear to you my prince, my brother… I am yours to command” They vowed in unison.

Loki lifted his hands, extending them first to Helblindi.

“Give me your hand” Loki said.

Helblindi uncurled his fingers, showing Loki the cut that ran across the hard palms of his flesh.

Loki reached forth to take Helblindi’s hand and place his own much much smaller ones over the bleeding wound. He weaved a simple spell silently, and the wound knitted, closing in an instant.

Helblindi resisted the urge to smile at this.

There is still light in his brother in the midst of inky darkness. There is still kindness in him, in the midst of his terrible coldness, though diminishing day by day, as if a fleck of snow beneath the glorious sun. How sad it would be when it is gone when it neither needed to be that way. He wished he could tell Loki that power is not worth everything. Nothing is worth so much. But he knew too that his brother had sacrificed more than he could ever understand to turn back now.

Loki turned to Býleistr.

“Give me your hand” Loki said again, and Býleistr lowered his bleeding hand to Loki. Loki did the same with his wound.

When all was done, Loki turned; his brothers followed him, leaving the fair yard behind them without a glance.

The trees withered, covering the ground in gold, before they curled into inky blackness darker than night, until the rightful heir of the throne returns once again, dead or alive.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The golden halls of Asgard were in a state of chaos. Bodies sprawled, blood painting the ivory floor in deep red. Pillars fall, the ceiling crumbles and the walls broke. Ice and frost covers the lower bowel of the palace. Shouts echoed, thunders roared.

Thor gasped in pain, his jaws tight as he pushed himself to his feet again; broken rubbles all about him, mjolnir lying a little distant away. The blast had lifted him off his feet and smashed him through a wall. Every breath he took was agony. He had cracked several ribs.

A little way in from him he could see a fierce battle commencing.

The little Jotun sorcerer was not only a thief, but a monster!

He panted, his breath forming mist as his body trembled with a cold that seeped through his battered metal armor and invaded his skin like fiery needles. He called mjolnir to his hand, limping forward.

Sif stood with her back to him, tall and strong, five rows of archers before her, bow at the ready, arrows aiming down the hallway, covered in ice, blood and bodies.

Thor could hear shouts of pain from his men and see their lifeless body crumble beneath the monster’s brutal attacks. In his pain, he watched in captivation and enthrallment at the fierce working of the elegant Jotun body, the ripple of its toned muscle, the ease of its footwork as it leaped and turned in midair.

The gold that adorned the beast glistered, its dark locks wild and untamed, whipping and caressing all over its azure form. Ice spears bloomed from its strong lean arms, driving it right through the bodies of his guards that kept pouring down the narrow path. Its fierce red eyes glistened in maddening fury and blood lust. The battle cries of Jotuns he had always hear warriors from the old battle field mimic in mockery at the feasting tables echoed down the hall. Blood poured and spilled in the corridor, drenching the slender face of the feral Jotun.

“Pull back! Pull back!” Sif was shouting to the fighting warriors as her archers loaded their arrows.

“Shoot! Sif! Shoot now!” Thor heard himself shouting despite his pain.

They have to take the shot when the Jotun is distracted, or arrows would do nothing to the cursed sorcerer.

Sif whipped around to Thor is shock.

“Our me-”

“Shoot!” Thor gasped, pulling himself beside Sif.

Sif hesitated for a moment before she gave a nod and turned back to the Jotun.

“Aim!” Her voice roared. Her archers pulled their tight strings.

The Jotun whipped around and Thor saw for a split of the second that its slender features were contorted in pure fury, its teeth bare, lips curled back in a snarl.

“Fire!”

Rain of arrows flew at the frenzied Jotun, piercing through flesh as if hot knives through butter. The surviving warriors dove for cover from the onslaught of arrows.

The Jotun let out a terrible cry. Blood poured. The beast crumbled to its hands and knees, refusing to lay dead, refusing to submit.

“Load!”

Arrows were drawn from quivers.

The Jotun coughed, blood spurted from its lips, its black mane in a mess, all over its sweaty face as it looked up. Its blood red eyes were glaring maddeningly at the golden prince of Asgard...Or was King of Asgard perhaps the more fitting title...

Thor Odinson.

It hissed.

Thor could feel a sudden chill inching down his spine at the expression of so intense a hatred that burn into every inch of the Jotun’s slender face.

“Do you submit?” Sif asked.

The Jotun spat at the ground.

“I submit to no one!” The Jotun runt snarled and at once struggled to rise to its shaking feet. The white fur strapped to its hips was stained thickly in red.

Thor watched in grim satisfaction as the Jotun’s features contorted in excruciating pain, but yet it stood, as tall and as proud as it could manage in its state. Bloody fingers reached for the arrows that were embedded in its guts and with a move, it yanked the arrows out.

A muffle cry wrenched from the beast’s unwilling throat.

The Jotun threw the arrows onto the ground and reached for another pierce deep in its shoulder, and then another on its arms. And then quickly before all their eyes, they could see that its pale blue skin was knitting back together, its wounds healing.

Some of the archers hands shook, their eyes widened and gasp escaped their lips.

Thor gazed intently at the Jotun runt, taking in the sight of its gems and jewels that adorned that stubborn body, and then his eyes fell on the image of coiling serpents on the bloody vambrance of his enemy.

He recognizes it at once. The sigil of Laufey’s house as he had seen in those damnable history books he had been forced to study.

“Aim!” Sif cried.

“Stand down! Stand down!” Thor shouted suddenly.

“Are you mad?!” Sif glared at Thor in utter disbelief; her eyes wide in anger.

“Stand down!” Thor ignored her.

A runt of Laufey’s house. The mysterious crown prince of Jotunheim, Thor realized.

Loki Laufeyjarson.

Much had been rumoured of Loki Laufeyjarson, and Thor had yet to hear a single good word. It is said that Loki is darkness itself; as if an eternal night closing in on days. And that the creature practices the foulest of sorcery; scorned even by its own people. A cursed being.

But no matter what wicked things had been said, Thor still has enough sense of politic to know that killing a crown prince of ill omen or not, would supposedly bring on the wrath of their people. Who knows what those Jotun dogs would demand as repayment for this favor.

So then, to simplify matters…

“Do you yield Loki Laufeyjarson!” Thor asked, looking at the Jotun prince intently.

There were soft gasped and murmurs. Surprise flashed over those unyielding red eyes for a moment and it was gone as if it never were.

Red bore maliciously at brilliant sapphire.

“Archers! At the ready!” Thor took over the command when Loki did not answer. “Do you yield, son of Laufey?!” Thor cried again.

Still Loki did not answer, simply boring his fiery gaze into Thor’s as if it meant to sheer Thor’s soul with those haunting eyes.

“Do you yield Jotun?!” Thor cried for the third time.

Three warnings he had given and hence by all the laws that govern the nine realms, he will have committed no crime against Jotunheim even if he shoots down their crown prince.

“Aim!” Thor’s voice thundered. Bow strings were pulled. Thor lifted his hammer; thunder roared and shook the halls.

Then Loki slowly lifted a trembling hand.

“Yield…” He smirked through his bloody lips.

Thor silently curses on the inside, though his expression remained passive.

“Throw him in the dungeons and have him chained!” Thor commanded.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thor coughed his lungs burn in fire and he could taste a fine stream of coppery blood on his tongue, as his rough hand clutched the side of his monstrous mattress covered in thick soft fur. Sif who towered over him, frowned at him disapprovingly.

“I think you should go to the healers” Volstagg handed Thor a small bowl of homemade medicine that looked like sewer fluid to Thor.

“No” Thor said. “The healing room is pack enough. And the healers are busy” 

“Don’t be stupid!” Sif snapped at last.

Thor waved her off idly, forcing down the bitter medication. He coughed, willing for whatever he just swallowed not to back up.

 “Friend, you need a new recipe for…this. Might I suggest some sugar” Thor joked, handing the empty bowl back.

“Thor, if you get worst I will personally drag you to the healers even if I have to tie you up” Sif said sternly.

“Interesting”

“I am serious Thor!”

Thor heaved sigh. “Come now, this is just a little bruise”

“I think cracking four ribs is a little more than a bruise!”

“I’ve endured worst. And anyway, how has the search come along? Has Heimdall seen anything yet?” He asked, deliberately changing the topic.

“No” Volstagg admitted. “The casket has not been seen or found and I fear it may have been lost after so many hours”

Thor nodded.

He expected as much, but there was nothing to be done now. At least they had the cursed crown prince detained. All hope is not lost yet. Even if Jotunheim had obtained the casket, they should not be so ready to make a mess of things with their crown prince being held prisoner on Asgard.

“Make sure that Jotun does not escape” Thor said.

“Yes my King” Sif and Volstagg bowed.

After some talks and jokes, Sif and Volstagg left, allowing Thor to rest.

Sleep found Thor quickly, but so did nightmare.

Thor tosses and turn, cold sweat breaking from his fair skin. There was darkness and a terrible cold that seemed to suck the breath out of Thor’s lungs and seeped painfully into the marrow of his bones.

In his nightmare, in that world of darkness, it consists of nothing but fear…fear with such an intensity like Thor had never knew it. Drifting in a void of oblivion, red monstrous eyes of the Jotun flashes and disappears, black tendril likened fingers curl and tightened all over Thor’s limbs, holding him immobile even as he struggles and yanks. He opens his mouth to shout, but no voice would leave his lips.

Hollow laughter chortled and echoed.

 _“Shall I sing you a lullaby to close your eyes…?”_   Voice so soft and harsh whispered as if a tangible thing, caressing him.

Thor growled; his eyes so wide, the fullness of his brilliant cerulean orbs could be seen as it darted frantically all about him, as if willing for his eyes to see a light. His breath shallow and fast, his heart thundered.

 _“Here’s a lullaby to close your eyes…”_  Inky vine curled over Thor’s naked neck.  _“Goodbye…”_   The sinister face of the Jotun prince appeared suddenly.

Thor jolted awake, his eyes snapped open and he thought he saw for a split of a second, a pair of venomous red eyes and sharp teeth hovering against the impenetrable darkness that surrounded him. A weight was on his chest, deadly coldness brushed his throat.

He howled in horror. Rolling to his side at once, he called mjolnir to him and leaped right off his bed, tearing down the thick curtains that surrounded his wide bed. His weapon smashed through the pole of his bed to Thor’s hand.

Silvery moonlight ray poured onto his mattress as he stumbled and whipped around, his eyes wild as his frantic gaze swept his messy room.

There was no one. Nothing...

He panted, his breath forming mist. Frosts were already starting to creep over his glassy windows.

Thor coughed; his chest ached terribly. His naked body shivered in cold and adrenaline.

This unnatural coldness…everything, the nightmare too perhaps, it is the working of that cursed monster he is sure!

Thor gritted his jaws in irritation and annoyance as he drops mjolnir down by his feet, swiping his trembling hands down his features, feeling like a fool. A fool that jumps at his own shadows.

Damn it! Damn it all! That damn Jotun dog is making a fool of him!

And so the Jotun is, night after night after night, drowning him in cold, such like he had never felt. And in spite, Thor let Loki rot in his dungeon.

 

 

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thunders crackled and rumbled over Asgard, the sky thick in grey clouds that flashes dangerously. The maids and servants around him gasp and scream; shouting for guards as Loki walked indifferently into the glorious dining hall as if it were his own.

Beautiful and tediously picked bouquet of flower sat all along the long table of the Allfather. There was no breakfast yet, but he did not care; strolling over as maids fled in fear of him.

The fur he wore were smeared in dried blood and stained with filth, his once neat silken locks were in a state of disarray, as if he were a madman.

He has had enough of that decadent cell! 

He could hear the pounding of many boots. Guards were coming for him no doubt.

He hummed idly; moving to pick up a bowl of fruit intended as decor off the counter and sat himself down upon the Allfather’s golden seat at the head of the table, just in time for the hordes of angry guards to pour in from doors on either side.

Thunder cracked deafeningly. A thicket of spears were pointed at him, but he remained indifferent, picking at the bunch of oval purple fruits in the ornate glass bowl.

“That’s enough!” Thor’s thunderous voice boomed, as he strode over the tide of guards to Loki’s side; his red cape bellowing behind him.

The Golden King was positively fuming by then, at the verge of snapping.

He will not have the Jotun prisoner undermine his authority! He will not have the damn thing play him for a fool! And he will definitely not have that monster sitting on Odin’s seat!

“Get up!” Thor snarled; his fingers curled into a tight fist, resisting the urge to use mjolnir that was strapped so temptingly at his belt.

Loki lifted his gaze at the King, mock amusement evident in his eyes, as if to say,  _make me_.

“How the hospitality of Asgard has deteriorated” Loki drawled, turning back to his little purple fruits, plucking yet another from the bunch.

Thor snatched the bowl and smashed it on the floor.

“Hospitality is the privilege of guests! Not thieves and murderers!”

“Ah…” Loki sounded surprise; lifting his gaze to Thor again. “You accuse me of thievery yet you have found nothing on me. You accuse me of being a murderer, yet I only kill to defend myself. Should I have let your soldiers put an axe to my head? Or perhaps a few spears through my guts while they are at it?”

Thor gritted his jaws, his eyes flashed dangerously. He was not very good with words on the best of days, what more when he had a headache the size of Asgard.

He will not be made to look like a dullard in front of his men! He will not play this game!

“That is enough! I have no time for your word games!” Thor said.

“How disappointing”

“You will return to your cell now!”

Loki slammed his hand on the table hard; standing to his feet, he turned his blood red eyes at Thor. “No” He said firmly. “I am the crown prince of Jotunheim! And I will be respected as one!” He declared.

“You speak of respect yet you show your host none!”

"I apologize for any offense I might have caused due to cultural  _differences_!"

Thor snorted.

"Bow before me as any honourable guest in my father's house would and then perhaps we would talk of respect and this difference you speak!"

Fury and indignant flashed before those blood red eyes, Loki squared his shoulder and took a proud step towards Thor, staring him straight in the eye.

"The only way you will have my head any lower than it is, is if you take it off my shoulders" He gritted.

"Then there is nothing to speak of" Thor growled, taking a step back. "Seize him!" He commanded.

The guards stirred, but none took a step closer to the Jotun.

Loki raised his brows; then let out a mocking laughter as he spread his arms. He knew that none dare touch him, least his icy skin scorch their flesh.

"What is the matter?! Seize him!" Thor commanded.

Still none move.

Loki laughed.

With the lack of sleep and a pounding head, Thor has had enough. Without thinking, without caring anymore, Thor grabbed Loki's upper arm.

At once, excruciating pain speared both their arm.

Loki howled.

Thor clenched his jaws in pain but at once tightened his blistering fingers even more, knowing that the monster is in as much pain as he is. Watching in grim satisfaction as the beast cried in agony, watching in grim satisfaction as the monster's expression twisted in torment, seeking to wrench its burning arm free.

 


	2. Darkness and Light

 

“Unhand me you pig!” Loki shrieked; ice dagger bloomed in his other hand. His eyes were wild in pain and fury, his lips pulled back in a snarl, his teeth bare.

Thor shoved Loki away in that split of a second just before the plunging dagger tore through his arm.

Loki let out a scream of rage, his crimson eyes glaring at Thor murderously, his ebony locks wild, dangling over his cruel face. Blood flowed from where the damnable Aesir had grabbed him.

“Have enough dog?” Thor stood tall and proud; looking condescendingly at the Jotun as he held mjolnir in his unscathed hand.

Loki hissed in indignant and fury.

He will not be spoken as if he were nothing! He had never been nothing! He is Loki! The Crown prince of Jotunheim! And those who looked down upon him will pay in blood!

“You will pay for this!” He snarled and charged, swishing his ice dagger.

Thor swung mjolnir, missing Loki as the Jotun leaped through the air and over the mass of guards in fits of agility, landing smoothly on his feet. The gems in Loki's hair glinted. The guards came at him at once with spears, surrounding him from every corner.

 _“Ignis!”_ Loki hissed in a deep rumbling voice. And with a wave of his hand, emerald flame blazed, spread with terrifying speed through the room.

The guards roared and howled as they dance away from the flame; as they tore at their burning capes.

Thor charged through the blaze at Loki in fury.

He saw red! His expression contorted in rage.

Loki hissed, barely dancing out of Thor’s swinging blows he leaped over Thor again; and letting out a battle cry this time, he plunged his dagger down Thor’s back as hard as he could. The ice dagger broke at its hilt when the tip stabbed through Thor’s armor, piercing into flesh.

Thor let out a howl, but with alarming grace he turns and smashes mjolnir against Loki’s chest with all the anger that was in him, shattering bones.

Loki let out a cry as he fell onto the hard ground as if a rag doll.

Thunders clapped.

Loki coughed, spattering blood onto the marble floor as hot boiling pain began to rapidly fill his heaving chest.

“You dare attack the Son of Odin!” Thor roared, wrenching out the icy dagger. “You will pay!”

He raised mjolnir.

His face was pale and he was shaking in fury. All thoughts of diplomacy, all thoughts of the casket of winter, all thoughts of the prince of Jotunheim were far gone from his mind. The runt before him is nothing more than a monster deserving death!

Loki’s eyes widen in terror as he watched mjolnir coming down at him. He hissed; bringing his arms up to shield himself.

“Beast!” Thor cursed.

The force of mjolnir broke Loki’s vambrance and shatters the bones beneath; a long sharp broken piece rip right through Loki’s skin. Loki let out a terrible scream of agony, doubling over when Thor raised his hammer the second time, seeking to finish this beast, seeking to crack open its skull.

“Stop!” A voice shouted suddenly.

A second of hesitation was all it took for Loki to murmur his spell and vanish just in time for mjolnir to smash down. The impact crack the marble ground.

Lightning flashed.

“No!” Thor cried, snapping his angry gaze up to see who dared distract him.

It was Frigga. The Queen of Asgard, clad in a flowing gown of glittering gold. Her face is beautiful and slender, neither young nor old. Her golden locks were braided over her lovely head and her eyes were the color of cerulean. Her usually gentle expression was harsh and stern; clearly unimpressed at what had happened.

 _“Flagro evanesco”_ She whispered, giving a wave of her slender fingers, snuffing the crackling flames in a motion.

“My queen” The guards bowed.

“Mother” Thor said.

“I will speak to my son alone. You are all dismissed” She commanded.

The guards did not need telling twice as they started to fill out of the room at once.

“Find that Jotun and have him chained!” Thor growled at them.

Frigga said nothing, waiting till the last of the guards had left before she turned to round at Thor in anger.

“Mot-”

“What were you thinking Thor?!” Frigga flared. “Had you killed that Jotun, there would have been war!”

“If it’s a war they want, then a war they will get!” Thor growled.

“Thor!”

“They broke into our home and took what is ours. If I were father, I would have brought our army to Jotunheim and kill every one of those beast. What I show them now is mercy!”

“Mercy?! By butchering their prince?!”

“Mercy by only butchering their prince when I have the reason to butcher them all!”

“And damn Asgard into another four hundred years of war?!”

“Father would have done it! He would have showed them their place!”

Frigga tightened her lips as she looked at Thor; then after a moment, her eyes softened. Thor is trying too hard to be Odin, when he had not the slightest notion of who Odin truly is. Thor only knows the face of Odin the stern father, and he hears stories of Odin the conqueror.

Frigga shook her head.

“No Thor…your father would have shown mercy” She said softly. “You see him through the eyes of a boy that hears of the glory of war. You see him as a conqueror, but he is so much more than that. He is a King my son. And King knows mercy when there is room for it”

Thor looked far from convince, but Frigga did not push it. Thor needs to find it in himself to rule as he sees fit, not how he thinks Odin would see fit. Her son has much to learn.

Frigga heaved a sigh, as she brushed Thor’s stray strands from his tired face.

“My son… Without your father, there is no cage on Asgard powerful enough to hold that sorcerer, nor chain strong enough to bind him”

“…”

“So why is he still here? Think” She said.

“Perhaps he cannot return to Jotunheim. He does not have the means to?” Thor guessed.

“No Thor. He has magic enough to return as he has to travel here”

“Then wh-” It took a second before Thor looked at her with the sudden realization. “The casket is still here” He murmured.

Frigga smiled.

“Yes… but if not, there is something else that he seeks here. And I fear what that might be” She reach down to touch Thor’s hand gently. “The most terrifying foes are the ambitious ones, for they would flatter you one moment and slit your throat the next. There is nothing they would not do. So watch him Thor”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Rumbles of thunder and flashes of lightning struck over the dark firmament. The wind howled like cries of wolves and the rain poured as if someone had ripped a hole through the vast space above.

Loki wheezed, he coughed, blood sputtered from his gasping lips like black vomit, trickling down his chin to the filthy stone ground. A hand pressed hard against the wall by his side for support as he stumbled down the reeking alley.

His lungs were on fire; his every breath was agony, as if drawing scalding oil down his lungs. He could barely breathe; his lungs rapidly drown in his own blood. He struggles to keep his eyes apart, he struggles to put one foot in front of the other, pushing himself along. The damage to his shattered ribs and punctured lungs were so extensive that not even his seid could heal.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew he was dying, but he refused to accept it.

He’d be damn if he died now!

He clenched his jaws, fire burning in his veins.

And he vowed that Thor will pay for this! He vowed that Asgard will pay for this! He will not die here! He refused to die before he sees Asgard burn to the ground! Before he sees the blood of Aesir pour! Before he hears the screams of their women and cries of their children! Before he sits on the Golden throne of Asgard with her city on her knees!

He will not die before he sees these things come to pass. He will not allow it!

He let out a violent cough; his knees buckled sending him crashing to the ground. He whimpered letting his body sagged down against the filthy wall. His head pounded, his broken body jerked, shivered and shook as rain drenched him.

The coppery scent of blood was thick in the air and there were slick wet noise crackling from his shattered arm by his side.

Slowly, he looked down upon his broken forearm. The jagged piece of his broken bone that tore right through his elbow was prominent and bloody. The metal of his broken vambrance were jammed deep into his bloody forearm.

Squeaks of large starving brown rats echoed through the stinking alley. One or two were nibbling and licking the trail of blood he left just a little away. And more were scurrying along the filthy wall and dirty drain. He could see them darting across the place, from shadow to shadow, all crowding closer and closer to him. The stench of his blood is attracting them; the stench of a dying creature is drawing them in.

He is losing a lot of blood and fast.

No seid could close his wounds if he did not first pluck out the wretched metal embedded deep in his flesh or pushed the jagged piece of his bone back into his skin or removed the fracture bone that puncture his lungs; slowly drowning him in his own blood.

Loki let out a soft whimper of anguish, as his only functioning hand shakily reached to unclasp the leather that held his vambrance in place. He needed to remove them least he bleed to death.

Slick wetness whispered.

Loki drew in a shuddering gasp; his trembling fingers grabbed the metal. He braised himself. And in a motion, he hauled the bloody metal right off his flesh, the sharp bended pieces dug out a chunk of tissue.

Blood poured.

Excruciating pain shot up his entire limb. Like fire! Like Hel storm it rips through his entire being!

“Argh!” Loki let out a strangled scream, gritting his jaws so hard it hurts, his abdomen clenched, his head bowed. His entire body trembled in anguish and agony as he clumsily dropped the bloody metal onto the ground with a clank.

“Ugh... uh...” He moaned, rapidly suffocating in his own blood, letting his head collapse back against the hard structure behind him.

He swallowed, coughed and sputtered. It is not done yet.

His eyes wondered back to his protruding bone.

What needs to be done have to be done.

He drew in a deep breath through his dilating nostril and slowly, shakily, his hand shifted over to his bloodied and shattered forearm, hovering over the jutted bone. He let out a soft whimper, clenching his jaws tight as his fingers trembled, his breath coming in frantic and shallow pants.

Without giving himself the chance of doubt he started pushing the bone in.

At once, pain, excruciating pain speared through him, through the very core of his being, so wholly it numbed even his shrieking mind. Loki let out a loud howl of agony, his toes curled; his eyes snapped shut in pure torture as tears of pain seeped beneath his tight lids.

Inch by inch, his bone eased through torn tissues. He could feel the wet crackling of wet raw flesh and blood, his tissues tearing to make way for it. His entire body shook as he forced himself to push further. And at one point, the pain was so intense, so excruciating that for a moment his mind blanked and he thought couldn't push further.

Just a little more... A little more, he urged himself.

“Norns!” He gasped, forcing the last of his bone in.

He coughed, blood and mucus dribbled from his lips, his lungs burn and he collapsed, his head hit the pavement. Rain caresses down his anguished face; his eyes were wide and blank as he struggled to breathe.

How long Loki lay on his side, clutching his shattered forearm he could not tell. He slept and he wakes and he slept again. His seid that was healing him drained every drop of his strength.

Hours bleed into days.

His body burn with fever as his wounds festered. And for the first time he shivered in cold. Something he had never felt before.

He was plunged from one nightmare to the next.

He dreamt of blood, he dreamt of fire. He dreamt of darkness coming for him, inky black tendrils like claws, reaching for him, dark deformed shapes dancing all about him. And mangled creatures the shape of man, hundreds and hundreds of them, coming for him, moving erratically, their thin limbs jerked, throwing one in front of the other, dirty broken nails clawed the bloody ground, and some move as if serpents, slithering towards him. They let out ululating wails and sobs and their wide mouth was as black as the abyss.

Loki feared them.

“Stay away from me!” He bellowed in pure naked terror, seeking to run from them.

But they were fast, slithering as if their bodies were boneless. And soon he was surrounded. He turned round and round, seeing them all around him, and without warning a bony hand jerks forth and grabbed his ankle hard.

Loki screamed, jolting him awake.

For nights he dreamt of death, of evil untold coming for him.

It was always the same dream, and in those dream there was always a little girl with wild unruly ebony locks staring at him, watching his every move with crimson eyes filled with malice and hate.

 _“Come to me...my dearest father...”_   She would hiss as if a serpent. _“Come...”_

Her face was frightening; half rotted away while the other was pale and dead.

Loki knew her, and he feared her wrath.

Hela, the daughter he sacrificed a long time ago, in exchange for knowledge of the darkest of sorcery. Sorcery that drew its strength from the realm of the dead.

She never forgave him, swearing to drag his wretched soul down into her burning flames when his time comes. And so she eagerly waits for him, rejoice with every dark spell he cast, for every such spell ate away a small bit of Loki and every such spell drew her closer, thinning Loki’s veil between the living and the dead, until she could finally reach through to grab him.

But until then, she will haunt his every resting moment. 

By the third day, his feverish mind was so disoriented he could barely tell if he was awake or asleep, or if he was sitting or lying on the mucky stone ground, or if anything were real or the illusion of his own burning mind.

He was so jumbled; he thought he had been dreaming when he heard the sound of heavy footsteps coming closer and closer to him. A hot rough hand touches his shoulder, a touch so gentle, Loki had thought he imagined it.

He let out a soft moan, forcing his heavy lids apart. His vision was blurry and foggy.

“Drink” A deep voice said, placing the tip of a wineskin against Loki’s parched lips.

The voice was strangely familiar, yet Loki could not place it.

“Who...?” Loki murmured groggily.

“Thor”

“Thor...” The name tasted bitter on his tongue.

Fury and anger surged in him suddenly like a terrible beast. He wanted to rise up and spit at his face, he wanted to put a dagger through the monster’s beating heart and carve it right out of his chest for what he had done!

He turned his cracked lips away from the wineskin.

“Here to mock a dying creature?” Loki sneered.

“No. Drink” Thor said again, putting the tip to Loki’s lips.

“What poison!” He spat.

“None. I do not desire your life”

Loki let out a soft chuckle, his chest hurts.

“Oh why Aesir...?” He smiled, design to irritate. “You favour a Jotun pet in your court...?”

Thor snorted.

A Jotun pet? If Loki was the pet, he’d be the very sort to rip open the throat of the one that feed him. No thank you. Jotuns have no honour. The only things they respect are strength and power.

“I am no fool Jotun. A living prince is much more useful than a dead one”

If they will not go to war, then they will hold Jotunheim's dearest Crown Prince as hostage on Asgard. That should be enough to keep those monsters on a leash even if they did have the Casket of Ancient Winter. And if those Jotun beast wants their little prince back, then they will have to come to them. They will be the first to request an audience with him. They will be the first to bend the knee.

But if war was more to the Jotun's taste, then the Jotuns will be the one to make the first strike. And in return, Asgard will have the perfect excuse to destroy them completely and utterly without looking like the aggressor realm. It was perfect he decided.

"Now drink" Thor sighed.

“No frost giant will bend the knee to you for me” Loki said bitterly, looking up upon the face that hovered over him. 

"You are the Crown Prince"

"An _unwanted_ Crown Prince"

Thor said nothing.

The sun behind the King hurts Loki’s eyes.

Another question came to Loki's mind. How is Thor touching him without hurting him too badly?

He focused his eyes on the King for a moment, before letting his gaze slip to the gentle hand on his shoulder. Thor’s hand was covered in black leather, no doubt infused with seid.

“How considerate...” Loki mocked.

Thor did not rise to the bait, concern evident on his face, as he looked worriedly over the state of the Jotun.

Loki looked like dead itself. Surrounded by at least a dozen stiff rat carcasses, he was soil in his own shit and piss; his feverish body oiled with sweat and dried blood was circling with flies. His cheeks were gnawed, his skin stretch tight over his high cheek bones; his hair in tangled mess and the fur he wore was mangy and filthy. The wound of Loki’s shattered forearm were festering badly, the bones that had healed had grown the wrong way, crippling the Jotun’s left hand and he could hear him wheeze with every desperate draw of breath.

This creature looked nothing like the proud warrior that had slaughtered Thor’s guards in cold blood on the first day. But Thor would be a fool if he thought that Loki had been tamed. Loki is anything but tame. Merely weaken for the moment.

And even now, there is a raging fire that burns ever brighter, hotter, in the depths of those blood red eyes. The sort that enthralls Thor, the same sort that send thrills of excitement inching down his spine when he hunted wild animals.

Loki is feral, fierce and deadly dangerous. Loki is a child of winter, with the will of fire.

“Drink” Thor gave the wineskin a shake.

The sound of slugging water in the skin reminded Loki of his thirst.

“Take it” Thor insisted.

Loki glared at Thor with contempt, his jaws clenched tight for such a long moment that Thor thought that Loki was going to refuse. Then suddenly, Loki’s hand reached up to grudgingly fumble at the skin.

“Let go!” Loki gritted stubbornly. He wanted to hold it himself but he was too weak; dropping the skin before he could put it to his lips. He cursed.

“Here” Thor helped him; slipping a hand beneath Loki’s sweaty skull, he lifted it at an angle and tipped the water into Loki’s lips.

He watched Loki drink eagerly, the water from his mouth, dribbled down his chin. Even when clouded with the hatred and disgust all Aesir held for Jotuns, Thor cannot deny that this beast fascinates him, as he let his cerulean eyes roam over the creature he had grew up hearing vile stories of.

Loki drank and he drank till he felt sick. Then he turned his lips away and Thor stopped tipping.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Mists of frost swirled and rise, retracting and extending, curling beneath titan pillars of ice, endowed with great carvings of serpents that slithered over its great height, their eyes gleaming with the reddest of rubies. At least a dozen pillars stood over the vast hall that seems to stretch endlessly.

Before Laufey’s throne of steel and ice, his prodigal sons stood before him, holding the casket of ancient winter to their king.

Oh how long had Laufey wished for her. How long had Laufey yearned for her; yearned to restore the crumbling Jotunheim back to its formal glory once more.

For centuries, he had dreamt of nothing else! Oh how many times in his moments of anger and blind rage had he vowed that the day the casket is return to him, he would pay back the debt he owed Asgard with interest?! That he would pay them back all that they had done to Jotunheim and more?! A hundred folds more!

But right now, he could find neither joy nor triumph even when the casket is finally before him.

How could he? When it came at the cost of Loki! The child of his body! His first born!

“Why have you brought her back to me?” Laufey whispered. His scarlet gaze was as harsh and as cold as winter; anger sweltering beneath his icy demeanor. “Do you think I would sacrifice your brother for this?!” Laufey roared, standing at once to his feet.

“This is what Loki wants” Helblindi said.

“He knows not what he wants! He knows nothing!”

"He knows that you would not allow him to do this! Make dam understand, is what Loki said to me"

"And what is it that I should understand, Helblindi?" Laufey growled, stepping down from his throne, towering over Helblindi and Býleistr.

The royal guards around the room stiffened.

"That... That his life is his to sacrifice..."

“Loki had not a single notion of what life is!” Laufey spat.

“He sacrifices everything for our sake!” Helblindi cried.

"And you believe him" Laufey wanted to sneer. "You Helblindi, worship him like a dog before his shrine of lies. And upon his steps you listen to his every word in earnest. Believing every whisper to be the Holy word of God"

"He does this for us! For Jotunhiem! Why can't you see it?!" 

Laufey hissed.

“Don't you understand it?!” Helblindi demanded. “He wants us to live! Not just survive, not just cling pathetically onto life at the end of the universe!” And when Laufey said nothing, Helblindi cried. "Our people are dying my King! What life do we have?! What life do you see?!”

Still Laufey remained silent; his scarlet eyes looked back down at casket of ancient winter between Heldlindi’s hands. There was nothing to read on the severe edge of Laufey’s face, even as turmoil of emotions brew beneath his icy facade.

Suddenly Býleistr spoke. 

“Dam. A war is coming whether you will it or not” His eyes wondered over the casket. "And this time, we will be victorious..."

Laufey looked upon his youngest. Býleistr turn to meet Laufey's scarlet gaze. 

"For a thousand years the Aesir had known peace, comfort and richness" Býleistr said. "Chances are, their seasoned warriors have grown fat, lazy and weak. And the younger ones who had grown in luxury and wealth would be too proud and too stupid to know the true face of war. They would demand a feathered bed in their tents and see it as slight when their wineskins are filled with water rather than the finest wine. Use the casket to build your army my King, and I swear to you, victory is yours" 

"You speak very well..." Laufey snorted. "But too much flattery. You might want to keep it subtle"  

"I'll remember that"  Býleistr said.  

Laufey’s eyes roamed the smooth glowing casket.

Another war.

Loki seeks another war in the name of Jotunheim. Despite what Loki had told Helblindi, despite what Helblindi or Býleistr would believe of their brother’s cleverly woven lies, Laufey knew better.

This is not about Jotunheim, at least not entirely. Loki wants to prove something. Loki is always trying to prove something to Laufey, to Farbauti, when he needed to prove nothing.

Slowly, Laufey lid his large hand over the icy smoothness of the casket. It hummed to him a song of old winter. He watched the glow brightened and dimmed and brightens again. The icy blue radiance within ripples and stirs gently, like the moving of slow flowing water. It was as if she was calling for him. Her true master; to rise up and take what is offered!

The Aesirs are nothing more than murderers and thieves in fine stitches. They make their wars under the facade of justice, compassion, humanity and _love_.

Laufey would be a damn fool if he believe for a moment that back then Odin had set his Golden army upon him, waged a war upon him, for the sake of Midgard. If it were true, Odin would not have followed them back to Jotunheim and set the realm of ice afire. And loot and rip, all they could and gave nothing in return but their so called mercy.

Mercy... that they had spared the Jotun King. Mercy...that they had let the Jotun King live...

Live for what? Live to see his people suffer? Live to see the Jotun children die in the tens of thousands as plague ate them away? Live to see the once mighty realm wither into the shell of her formal self? Live to see his realm die a slow agonizing death?

This is Aesir's mercy. This is Aesir's grace. This is Aesir's love...

Midgard was just a pretty excuse. The truth is, it was the opportunity Odin had waited for to destroy the might of Jotunheim. The one realm that could potentially grow to surpass the strength of the Realm of Eternal. 

“Loki will have his army...” Laufey rasped; his fingers curled. When else would he ever have such a chance again to repay the debt long due?

The Aesir will come for the casket, and when they do...they will die...

Býleistr smirks. "This will be a glory measured in blood, my King..." 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki’s clenched hard against the ebony sheets beneath him, his sweaty locks stuck to his face as he drew in deep wheezing breath. His chest ached. Shards of broken bones still dug at his lungs. In truth, he should have been dead. It was his seid that had kept him alive, struggling to mend his punctured lungs, draining him to within an inch of his life.

Half a dozen healers stood all around Thor’s massive bed.

“You have to break the bones again” One of the healer instructed Thor, as Thor gingerly held Loki’s useless arm.

“Loki…” Thor started, only to be viciously cut off by Loki.

“Do it! You broke it, now you will fix it” He hissed.

Thor frowned, shifting his gaze back at the stubborn Jotun.

Loki was sweating, his chest heaving erratically and Thor could see the shifting of every one of his bended ribs that had healed terribly too. He was a complete mess, despite Thor's attempts to clean him up.

The healers gave Loki a metallic bit to bite on, so that he would not bite off his own tongue, while Thor straightened Loki’s useless arm as best as he could. It was jagged and bended in all the wrong direction.

Slowly, Thor wraps his gloved fingers over the first odd bend, and felt the abnormal growth of bone beneath Loki’s skin. He let his eyes close for a moment and took in a deep breath.

Any Aesir in his position would have been more than happy to break Loki’s bones. They’d certainly take great joy in slowly snapping the Jotun’s bone and watch him writhe and scream in agony. Watch that smug arrogant face twist in torment.

But not Thor.

Thor had never been one for cruelty. He did not relish in the agony and suffering of his enemies. If he was to kill, he had always done so swiftly. A quick and clean death.

Loki took in short shallow breath as Thor’s large hand wrapped about his now bony forearm.

“Look away” Thor said.

Still Loki stared on as the large gloved hand began to tighten. His heart drummed, his fingers clenched against Thor’s sweaty sheet.

“Look away!”

“Do it!” Loki growled, biting hard against the bit.

Thor did. Thor broke Loki’s bones. There was a loud sharp crack as if the snapping of a great branch.

Pain, the pain was fire; like a thousand blades stabbing, tearing through Loki’s arm. He howled, biting down so hard on the metallic bit his jaws ached, his abdomen clenched, veins drawing down the side of his sweaty neck.

Without waiting, Thor went to break the next bend and the next mercilessly, feeling the hard bone crunch beneath his cruel grip.

“Uhhh!” Loki let out agonizing screams that filled the entire room. His were eyes shut tight in torment, his toes curled in pain, his heels dug the mattress and his nails rip the fabric beneath him.

“Almost there! You are almost there!” Thor gritted, snapping another bend. He had to forcefully pull Loki back once or twice when the Jotun twisted away from him. 

Loki could feel every sharp break his bone, he could feel the fracture and crack of his bone seconds before they snap to the tremendous force it was twisted out of its position.

“Thor!” Loki cried in agony, his fingers flew to latch onto Thor’s upper arm just as Thor broke the last of his bone.

Fire sheered down both Thor and Loki’s arm.

“Are you done?!” Loki spat, digging his dark nails deeper, breaking skin and drawing blood.

Thor clenched his jaws in pain, but did not shake Loki away. He simply looked at the Jotun.

“Yes” He said.

Loki had lost his bit and his eyes were flashing dangerously. His breath came in shallow wheezing pants, his entire body shaking in agony and beads of sweat were rolling down his temple. His ebony tresses were in tangled clumps, stray strands, dangled over the Jotun’s face.

“It is over” Thor’s gaze was soft and warm, so contrasted Loki’s hard and vicious ones.

Loki frowned at what he saw.

There was no joy in Thor’s eyes; there was no sick satisfaction or cruel laughter in those pale cerulean eyes Loki had expected to find. It was as if this Aesir did not relish in his pain.

“It is done” Thor rasped lowered the shattered forearm as Loki withdrew his blistering fingers.

 "..."

“Rest” Thor place a hand over Loki’s shoulder, guiding him back to bed.

The healers handed Thor six iron rods; instructing him to arrange them about Loki’s shattered forearm and tightly wrap them in bandage.

Loki watched silently as Thor did it all without difficulty. Those large hands were not as clumsy as Loki thought a spoilt King's would surely be. They knew exactly what they were doing, and they were careful not to give him unnecessary pain.

Strange, Loki thought.

What is Thor scheming? Isn’t Loki the enemy? Shouldn’t Thor be taking every opportunity to hurt him? To give him more pain?

If Loki had been in Thor’s position, he would have made sure he suffered, delivering as much pain as possible. Perhaps even take the opportunity to snap a few more bones that did not need breaking.

Loki looked away, his expression blank.

He’d be damn if Thor knew his ‘gentleness’ unnerve him to no end.

He understood anger, he understood hatred, he understood cruelty and torture, but this tenderness Thor was showing him, he couldn’t understand it. And he decided he hated it. He hated what he could not understand.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It is that dream again. The same one he had night after night after night.

Loki panted; his entire body shook in cold dripping fear. His eyes were wide as he turned round and round, taking in the sea of death that surrounded him. Rotting, deformed bodies were crawling towards him, seeking to drag him under.

“Don’t touch me!” He screamed, his heart hammered, slamming hard against this rib cage.

There was no where to run, there was no where he could escape. They were all around him. They moaned, flailing hands jerk forth, one after the other.

And he saw her again, standing in a distance in her tattered nightdress. Her head was bowed, thick wild ebony locks dangled over her terrible face, hiding them from sight.

“You will not have me! Not yet!” Loki bellowed. “Do you hear me daughter?! You will not have me this night!”

She laughed a cold ringing laughter that seemed to fill the entirety of Loki’s mind.

 _“I will have you father”_ She said, lifting her head. Her wild black hair fell away from her half rotted face. Her eyes were red and terrible.

And all at once Loki could feel her hateful eyes everywhere. All about him!

She smiled, all her teeth were razor sharp.

 _“You are mine!”_ She shrilled.

Hundreds and hundreds of bony hands shot up from the inky blackness beneath Loki’s feet and grabbed him. Loki screamed, wrenching his feet away only to be caught by another pair of hand and another. He trip, falling down for a terrifying moment. Hands shot up to grab him. His chest, his arms, his legs, his hair, his neck, seeking to drag him under.

“Get off me!” He screamed and he screamed in horror, in cold terror, kicking and twisting wildly; jerking loose his arms only to be captured by another three more.

He could smell their decadent flesh all over, hear the creaking of their brittle bone, he bit off one rotting finger when they sought to shut him up. Reeking blood, poured into his lips.

He coughed.

His guts lurched and twisted, sickening him to vomiting.

“Hela!” The cry came out of him with all his worst anguish and terror. Tears were streaking down his face.

Suddenly, there was a flash of white blinding light. The dead moaned and groaned in fear and pain, loosening their grip.

At once, Loki fought to his feet and ran! He ran as fast as he could towards the light. His shaking feet stomped and cracked the bones beneath him.

 _“Loki!”_   Loki heard Hela shrieked in fury.

The white light seemed to spread, chasing away the darkness until they were far away from him. He ran and he ran, his chest ached to bursting and still he ran till he could scarcely breathe.

He stopped, panting hard, his eyes look about him. There was nothing but brilliant whiteness. He had never seen this place before.

Where is he?

“In your subconscious” A deep voice answered suddenly, shocking Loki. He turned full around at once.

There was an Aesir man clad fully in pristine white standing a little away from him. His hair and beard were white; his face wrinkled but there was a sort of firm authority in them. A golden eye patch cover one of his eyes, and the other was of the deepest blue Loki had ever seen. It was kind and warm, gentle and loving, as it looked upon Loki without a shard of hatred or anger or judgment.

“Odin Borson” Loki hissed, his eyes narrowed with hatred.

“Yes Loki” Odin walked towards the Jotun.

“How are you here?” Loki snapped.

“Blood magic is a terrible thing little prince. And sometimes, it creates a link between the caster and the victim” Odin motioned to himself. “But of course, you know that already. As to how I _can_ be here, the barrier of your mind is weak tonight”

“What do you want?”

“No need to get so defensive” Odin smiles kindly.

“...”

“I trust you know that one of us is going to die?”

“Yes” Loki said proudly. “And what will you do about it?”

“Nothing I can do without killing you or breaking your mind” Odin lowered himself to sit on the brilliant white floor. “And I will do neither at the moment”

“...”

“Sit” He commanded, looking up at the Jotun.

“What happened to that witch?” Loki asked, ignoring Odin’s command.

Odin smiled. “You do not have to sleep in fear every night Loki...I can give you peace. You want peace don’t you?”

There was a heartbeat where neither spoke. Loki stared at Odin in contempt.

Yes, he wanted peace. He wanted to close his eyes and find relief.

Oh how long has it been since he last slept without fear, since he last slept without screaming in blood curdling terror. It’s been so long. He could not remember what peace felt like anymore. It had been so long that he had given up finding it.

But now…Odin is giving him a choice to have it once again.

He did not trust the shrewd old man.

“You. You will give me peace? Your enemy” Loki hissed.

“Yes. And since we are here because of seid, we will play by its first rule, should you choose it” Odin said. “Do you know the rule little prince?”

“Equal exchange...To create you must destroy. To gain you must give something in return” Loki muttered.

Odin nodded. “Yes. A beautiful and a terrible thing isn’t it? And the darker the sorcery the more terrible the price...sometimes more terrible than we could have imagined”

“...”

“But I am not unreasonable. I will give you this peace little prince, and in return, you will allow me here every night”

“Why?” Loki demanded.

Such a small price for peace, he did not believe it was out of Odin’s good bleeding heart. Odin did not become the greatest conqueror in all the realms by being kind.

“An old man likes company” Odin said.


	3. Fighting Fire With Fire

The bowl of steaming stew smashed onto the cold hard floor and the pitcher of sweetened wine was flung across the room, shattering the mirror that hung on the wall to bits.

“Get out!” Loki struck the trembling maid.

She sobbed, stumbling back; her slender fingers clutched her bruised cheek. Her cerulean eyes were brimming with tears, and she was terrified of him.

Terror… Loki knew the look of terror in the eyes of another. He sees it all the time, and it gave him a sense of satisfaction. But there was something else too in her brilliant eyes. Disgust and revulsion. And that, Loki could not take.

“S-sir…” She squeaked. “The Ki-”

“Get out!” He bellowed; stomping over he raised his hand again and struck her hard across her face.

She fell, her golden locks in dishevel, tumbling down over her shoulder. She wept.

“Mon-ster…” She gasped before she could stop herself.

This angered Loki even more, his expression darkened, his magic flared and crackled uncontrollably.

“Get up and go! Or I will hit you again!” Loki hissed.

She whimpered, standing quickly to her feet she ran towards the door.

Monster! Monster!

Just as her slender fingers touch the knob, the door swung open and she slammed hard against Thor’s chest.

“Wow! Careful there my dear” Thor laughed, catching her before she fell back.

“My Ki-ng” She stammered.

The moment Thor saw the tears in her eyes and the bruise on her cheek, all laughter and smiles were wiped from his face. His expression darkened, as he lifted his gaze to look at Loki.

“I’m sorry…” She sobbed, her finger wipe furiously at her tears. She was so embarrassed. She was made of sterner stuff than this. She knew she was… yet…

“No” Thor rasped, returning his gaze to her. “I am sorry. You do not need to serve this beast anymore. Take the day off” He said, her thumb rubbing circles over the shoulder.

“Thank you my King”

“Go” He took a step back and allow her to pass.

She nodded, and wiping her tears she took off down the hall.

Thor clenched his jaws as he entered the room, slamming the door shut behind him harder than he meant to. Anger, rage, bubbling in him again with every step he took towards the beast and not even the frost in the room could cool his blood.

The fact that Loki was still standing tall and proud after what he had done, angered Thor even more. There was no sign of remorse, or shame or fear of being caught. As far as Loki was concern, what he had done was acceptable.

“What was that?” Thor growled, stepping into the middle of the room.

“Discipline” 

“For what?!”

“Why do you care?”

“Because she is my servant!”

“Ah…and you care for every one of them. How sweet” He mocked.

His crimson eyes bore into Thor’s cerulean ones.

“You will not do it again” Thor rumbled.

“I didn’t know that a King would bother with a lowly servant”

“Then let me make this clear to you” Thor stepped towards Loki. “You come into my home and you steal from me and yet I still make you my guest. But if you abuse my servants one more time, if you so much as touch any of them again, I will show you no more mercy”

Loki smirked as he watched Thor’s dark expression.

“You are starting to speak like a King” He said.

“…”

“I will abuse no more servants your Grace” He took a step towards Thor and leans forth, dangerously close, and he whispered into Thor’s ear. “The next one... I will kill...”

Thor shoved him away.

Loki laughed, shifting pass Thor with a languid motion towards the bed.

“Loki! Look at me!” Thor caught Loki’s shoulder only to be jerked off.

“Don’t touch me Aesir!” Loki spat.

“What is the matter with you?!” Thor roared.

Loki is impossible. There was no ending to his madness! There was no ending to the things that offend the monster!

“Loki!”

Loki turned around to glare at the Golden King. “You will send me no more servants, or I swear to you, you will find her head on your bed the next time you walk into your room!”

“So you will have none serve you?” Thor demanded.

“I am no pampered prince. I need no one!”

This time it was Thor’s turn to laugh. He wondered if Loki had looked into the mirror recently.

His hair was a mess; his bandage was falling apart and in dire need of new ones. His clothes, well, if you could called what Jotun’s wear as clothes, was a shredded piece of bed sheet he had taken apart. And Thor wondered when was the last time Loki showered, or at all, since Thor cleaned him up about a week ago.

Perhaps Loki had no need for anyone on Jotunheim, but he certainly needed someone now.

“Is this how the crown prince of beast looked like?” Thor mocked. “Filthy and reeking”

Loki hissed, his eyes narrowed in seething fury.

“Get out!” He growled.

“Of course. But when you are finally ready to admit that you need someone to fix you up… say my name. And I will come. Until then, none will enter”

Loki snorted. “You speak as if I would remain in here”

“Oh I know you will” Thor said. “I am no fool Jotun. Your seid that is healing you is also draining you. You have none to spare or you would have hidden yourself from Heimdall’s sight, like a coward”

“…”

“As of now…You are nothing Loki”

With a blur movement, Loki reached out to backhand Thor, his lips curled in a snarl. Thor accepted the blow with a faint smile design to irritate.

“I am never nothing! I am the crown pri-”

“Yes. Yes. I heard you the first time. You are the crown prince of Jotunheim” Thor said. “But this is Asgard little Jotun. Not Jotunheim”

A sudden heat crackled through the room, as if lightning were about to strike. Loki shifted towards Thor, as if a predator. His eyes smouldering with fire, hate and shame.

“Get. Out. Now!” He spat every word.

“At once, your Grace” Thor gave a mocking bow and turned to leave. A smile of amusement curled over his lips. Truly, it seems that Loki has a temper as well as arrogance that could rival even his.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Blizzard stirred and roared just beyond Laufey’s window. He had not seen wind so strong or felt one so cold for a long time. It beats ferociously against his fortress, rumbling it. It was as if Jotunheim was alive again. Her land roaring and shifting, the waves on the far shores rose and crashed violently against icy land. The glacial grew and move, the winter trees starting to awake from their centuries long sleep, sprouting its first golden leaf.

It was barely a week since the casket was returned, and already she is stirring with a vengeance.

“She is awakening” Farbauti rasped, as he came to stand beside Laufey by the window.

The emerald curtains fluttered and bellowed ferociously.

“Yes…” Laufey said. “But at what cost?”

“…”

“A war is coming”

“Your men will fight for you. They thirst for blood. Aesir blood”

“I know. But will they fight for Loki?” Laufey turned to look at his mate.

“They will fight if you command it my King, and that is enough” Farbauti said.

“I will not be King forever”

To that Farbauti had no come back. It was the harsh truth.

There will come a time where Loki will be King, and they dreaded that day. Not because they thought Loki would not be fit to rule; oh, Loki had the ideology, he had the cunning and wits… but would he have subjects to rule?

Sitting on the throne and declaring yourself king does not make you one. You cannot be king if none would follow you.

There had been talks and whispers that Helblindi should be on the throne, while more favoured Býleistr.

Farbauti reached over to take Laufey’s hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze.

Three children all fit to rule. Which do you choose?

Laufey chooses Loki.

Loki who is too small to bear children of his own or mount another frost giant. As far as Laufey knew, there was no runt born to any of his nobles or High Lords; or a match would have at once been made. 

Loki would have no mate, no one to come back to, no smile he could see when he opens his eyes in the morning or a gentle arm to return to for comfort. He will be alone for all of his days. So Laufey gives to him, an entire realm to be his company. He gives to him the realm, hoping they would love him in place of the mate he would never have...

It was a foolish dream he knew...

Loki may be a powerful sorcerer and an agile warrior but still the realm did not love Loki. Most loathed Loki for the horrifying things Loki is capable of doing and some still loathed Loki merely for his size. If truth be told, they fear an uprising that would be worst than any before.

Is this how Jotunheim will end? Not at the hands of her enemies, but from the wrath of her own people? 

Laufey heaved a sigh.

He loves Loki so so much. But yet, Loki, the child of his body, his first born, terrifies him.

Whenever he looked at Loki, or hear the things he had done, he could not help but wonder if it was his fault.

Loki had done great things, extraordinary things, yes…things one could only imagine, things that only exist in the wildest of fantasies, but they were both terrible and cruel too.

“I heard you have called for a war meeting” Farbauti said softly.

“Yes. And we all know how that would go”

Farbauti smiled; drawing close to Laufey he wrapped his strong arms about Laufey’s waist. “They will fight for the realm”

“Until they hear it was Loki’s idea. And Thrym will protest and curse” Laufey muttered.

Farbauti placed a gentle kiss over the side of Laufey’s neck. “Though I bare no love for Thrym...even I cannot fault him”

“No” Laufey loathed to agreed.

There was not a day pass that he did not think of what Loki had done to Thrym for mere insults. He doubts anyone had forgotten it. There was no more mention of Loki’s stature after that day. None dare to speak ill of Loki after that day. And if they did, they did it in a hush tone, whispered in the dark where Loki did not have ears.

All of them knew that what Loki did to Thrym was just a taste of the things he was capable of. They fear his dark sorcery, and truth be told, so did Laufey.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The bath house was enormous and steaming with mist. It was too hot, too humid for Loki, but he could stand it no longer. It had been three weeks since he last had a bath and he would bare it no longer!

His hair itched, he stunk, his skin was oiled in sweat, his bandages were filthy and his wounds beneath burn.

When he had stripped of what little fabric he had on himself, he stepped into the bathing area.

It was empty as he knew it would be. He had heard the roaring feast from his room and heard their drunken laughter and silly songs.

He eyed the large body of water before him.

The pool was large and steaming, and amid its thin layer of mist that settled just over the surface of the water, was an alabaster sculpture of a mermaid holding in her dainty hands, a large shell. Clear crystal water was pouring from it endlessly, and yet, the pool never seems to overflow.

Loki knelt down to his knees; his hand hovered just over its burning surface, feeling the smoldering heat that bite at his icy palm.

No matter how much he loathed Thor, spit at his name, he could not deny the ringing truth in his words. His seid that was healing him was also draining everything that was in him. At least what little was there anyway after the inter-dimensional travel, the constant veil of the casket from the gatekeeper's eyes, the many battle and healing of battle wounds. A huge part of his magic ceaselessly channeling to keep Odin in his sleep and the constant regulation of his body temperature to keep him alive in this fiery realm. It had always frustrated him that his seid was slow to return even after a good rest, what more when he had barely rested or eat at all... He hadn't counted on sustaining such a severe wound either.

As of now, he doubt if he even had the strength to cool such a large body of water enough for him to clean himself. But he’d be damn if he had to ask some Aesir to aid him. He would rather die than bend the knee to even one Aesir!

“ _Hiemo_ …” He whispered.

He concentrated his seid onto the open palm of his right hand. Slowly, a gentle blue glow enveloped his palm and it was cold… so cold it hurt him and numbed his skin. It was as if he was holding the very heart of winter in the palm of his hand.

He lowered them onto the surface. The moment the light touches the water, there was a loud crackle as if the breaking of a great glacial or the sharp clap of thunder.

And at once, Loki felt his strength was pulled out of his entire being, from all his limbs. A sudden exhaustion likened death washed over him, dragged him, pull him under. His vision spun, his eyes slid shut and he collapsed into the steaming liquid.

Fire! Fire everywhere!

Fire burns his skin, jolting his exhausted body awake.

He let out a shout of pain. Boiling water splashed as his hands flung out to catch the side of the pool. His feet jammed against the bottom as he struggled to pull himself out. The weight of the water dragged him down, clutched onto him as if a thousand hands grabbing and pulling him under.

His arms shook and ached in exhaustion.

He slipped; splashing back into the burning water. He swallowed a mouthful of it, and it trickled down his throat like scorching oil.

Help! Help!

“Thor!”

The moment that cursed name was wrenched from his burnt throat, Thor burst into the bathhouse. His red cape bellowing behind him, his eyes were red with mead and flashed with terror.

“You idiot!” Thor grabbed Loki by his upper arms and dragged him out, throwing him roughly onto the cold ground. Loki’s arm flew out to break his fall, the impact knocking the wind out of his lungs and send fire sheering through his fractured ribs. He coughed; tasting blood on his tongue; his burning skin biting at him.

“Are you out of your mind?! Or is there nothing in that skull of yours?!” Thor shouted, looking at his own raw hands.

It was then that he noticed that he was shaking. Shaking in fear or perhaps anger or perhaps both, he did not know. But he could not stop trembling. He curled his fingers tight as if it would stop his shaking and let them fall to his side.

Loki hadn’t so much as look at him, but Thor did not need to see his face to know that Loki was in a lot of pain. The part where Thor had just grabbed him with his naked skin was starting to darkened, and it looked burn.

“You fool” Thor went towards one of the shelves and took down a large towel.

“…”

“Here” He knelt down and placed the white fluffy towel over Loki’s back.

Loki hissed in anger, grabbing the damn thing he flung it off him.

“Leave me” He gritted.

He felt like a fool. He had never felt so weak, so vulnerable and ashamed. He is so ashamed. If anyone knew of this, he would shame his own home! He is the crown prince! And he needed men to fear him! No one could know this, or they would laugh at him! And laughter is the dead of fear.

“Loki I mean you no harm” Thor said.

“Leave me Aesir! I do not need your help!” He bellowed in shame.

“No you don’t. But I will offer it nevertheless” Thor put on his glove and reached out to help Loki but only to be roughly shoved away.

“I can walk on my own!” Loki hissed, his eyes flashing dangerously, his shaky hands went to swipe furiously at the messy stands that dangled over his face.

He did not need help. He needed no one! And he certainly did not need anyone to help him walk!

It took all of him, but he pushed himself up nevertheless. He dragged his knees and planted them firmly on the ground, he forced his exhausted arm to push his torso off the damn ground and slowly, he stood to his feet. He staggered, but he walked.

One step, two step.

He will walk on his own. He will get to his room on his own even if he has to crawl!

Thor watched him intently but he made no move to touch the Jotun again, simply walk close by the stubborn animal. His hands at the ready to catch Loki should he fall.

Loki moved slowly towards the wall and pressed his hand against the cool structure for support. His chest heaving, his eye lid getting heavier and heavier with every step and soon it was almost impossible to keep his eyes apart. His breath wheezed and he gasped for breath. He is so, so exhausted, so tired he wanted nothing more than to sleep.

He was almost at the door when Thor stopped him.

“Wait” Thor unclasped his red cape and gently wraps them over Loki’s naked form. The silken fabric stuck intimately over Loki’s damp skin, clinging onto him as if a second skin.

Thor knew the warrior three and the Lady Sif were waiting just outside the door. And Loki is a proud creature. He did not think Loki would want them to see all of him.

“My friends are out there” Thor warned Loki kindly.

“Oh. Here to laugh at the beast?” Loki sneered.

“If it pleases you, I will have them leave”

“It pleases me to have you leave!” Loki turned to stab a smoldering glare at Thor.

Thor frowned. “I am not here to hurt you. No one is. You are the author of your own pain and suffering”

“What do you know about suffering!” Loki spat venomously; his cold scarlet eyes glared furiously at Thor. “You! The Golden King so loved and adored by his people! You, the Golden King who’s attention are crave by all!”

“I do not need to suffer to know that someone else is suffering”

“Maybe…But let him not preached of darkness when he has not seen nightfall” Loki pushed passed Thor.

The moment Loki emerged from the ornate door, the warrior three and the Lady Sif tensed, reaching for the hilt of their sword.

Loki hissed, baring his teeth.

Thor raised his hand to bid them not to hurt Loki.

“Go and make sure no one sees us” Thor commanded.

“We are not leaving you with this monster!” Sif protested.

“He cannot hurt me”

“He could be faking” Fandral said.

Thor smiled kindly. “I can defend myself”

“Oh I don’t know…”

“Please now… would you do this for me? Make sure no one sees us” Thor said. “I promise I will make it up to you”

“Ah… well…” Fandral smiled mischievously. “Oh it’s going to cost you”

Sif smacked Fandral hard over the back of his head.

“Hey!”

Volstagg laughed.

“As you command my King” Hogun bowed.

“Thank you my friends” Thor smiled.

Sif huffed in displeasure, glaring suspiciously at Loki. “Careful Thor...”

“Of course. When have I ever been reckless?” Thor winked.

Sif rolled her eyes but she too left with the others after a moment.

Loki laughed when the warrior three and the Lady Sif were out of earshot. 

“What is so funny?” Thor turned to regard Loki.

“A King does not ask his subjects. He tells them and they will do as he commands or die for treason”

“I will not be such a King”

“Then you are no King. You are nothing more than a puppet dancing to the songs of your subjects”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki did in fact walk all the way back to his room on his own two feet. Terribly slow with many breaks in between, yes… but he did walk on his own. The moment Loki reached the soft mattress he collapsed over it. He threw Thor’s cape off him and sluggishly dragged his wet body over to the heap of pillow at the head of the bed.

Thor followed him in, looking over the state of the room he no longer recognized.

That stew Loki had threw onto the ground the week before was still there. Untouched and spoilt. The pieces of shattered mirror where Loki had hurled a pitcher at was still there, the emerald curtains that surrounded Loki’s four poster bed were shredded for makeshift clothes and the ebony sheets of the bed were clawed.

It looked more like he was keeping an animal in here than a prince.

He grimaced, turning his attention back to regard the Jotun.

Loki was already laying on his bed, his back probed up by a mountain of soft pillow, his head tilted back to straighten his trachea as to allow him to breath more easily. His breath still wheezed, though not as badly; his healing ribs moving erratically as it struggled to pull in air.

“Do you need to see the healers again? How is your breathing?”

“Perfect” Loki said, closing his eyes.

Thor shifted over to the bed to look at Loki.

Loki was dying. Even the simple burn over the Jotun’s skin had ceased to heal. Norms, If Heimdall hadn’t alerted him that Loki was about to do something really stupid, the prince might have drowned in his bath or been boiled to death in warm water.

Thor looked over the little Jotun.

Inky black hair was sprawled all over his pillow; his lean body was so starved Thor could see his every rib. They had healed a little better than before he admits, but Loki was still anything but fine, by how tightly stretched his skin were over his high cheek bones and narrow aristocratic nose.

And Thor wondered not for the first time  _“What are you trying to prove Jotun?”_

Thor knew arrogance. Thor had been arrogant once, but even then, he was not so proud as to refuse help when he was dying.

Thor let his eyes wondered lower towards Loki’s bandaged forearm.

It was damp, filthy and reeking.

He sighs, without a word he shifted to sit beside Loki.

“Let me look at your wounds”

Loki did not answer him. Thor did not expect him to. Loki looked too exhausted to even speak let alone argue. That stubborn walk had taken everything out of him.

Slowly, Thor unwraps the mangy bandage.

It looked horrible, and the more he unwraps them, the stronger the stench of rotted tissue. Thor did not need to unwrap it entirely to know that Loki’s forearm had festered again, perhaps worst than before.

He may be no healer, but even he could tell that this was beyond the healer’s scale. It has to go, but he wouldn’t tell Loki that just yet. It did not give him joy to mutilate his enemy. It did not give him satisfaction to watch his enemy grief and weep knowing the healers would have to amputate his limb.

There was a sickly wet sound when Thor tugged the last of the bandaged off.

Loki winched, turning his head to look at Thor tiredly.

Loki’s forearm was wet with pus, swollen and dark. It was as if the rotting fleshes of the dead.

“Do you like your handy work?” Loki whispered spitefully.

“Where is the fresh bandage?” Thor asked.

“Why?”

“Because it needs to be change”

“Why?” Loki asked again.

He wanted to know. He had thought long and hard. He couldn’t understand this  _‘hospitality’_ ; he couldn’t understand the meaning of food being left outside his door repeatedly and at all hours even when he had taken none of it. Were they mocking him? Floundering at the wealth of Asgard in his face? That they could waste food without a care while Jotuns fight over every scrap the land has to offer?

And now… this….this  _‘kindness’_  again.

Thor was looking at him in confusion. He did not understand the question.

“What do you mean?” Thor asked.

“I am not your friend. I am your enemy. Why would you help me?” Loki whispered. “What would you gain from this? Do you think you will win my favour? Why would you even want my favour?”

“I don’t go around calculating gain or loses for everything I do” Thor said.

“…”

“I want to help you. Can’t you understand something as simple as that?”

Scarlet bore into cerulean.

“The bandage…it’s in the drawer” Loki muttered after a moment.

Thor gave a nod.

Loki watched the Golden King intently as Thor rummaged his bedside drawer. He still could not understand the Aesir.

But one thing he did know, it is that men are born unequal. That is the unspoken truth of the universe that some are born to use others, and some are born to be used. Some are born for greatness, and some are born simply to die, to be the stepping ground for the truly extraordinary ones. And Thor is the first fool he had ever met to choose to be used, when he was born with the power to use anyone he pleases.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki coughed violently, his chest hurts, sweat glistered his icy body, sticking against the soft casing of the mountain of pillows that probed his back up. There was a metallic tray covered with a layer of white cloth and a large wooden table with straps a little away from him.

“No” His eyes flashed venomously as he watched the dozen healers that surrounded his bed.

They were all clad in pristine white robe and jet black glove. Loki could tell that they did not care one bit about him. They were there on command. That suited Loki just fine. They disgust him as he disgust them.

Thor stood by Loki’s side, looking at him gravely.

None of the healers could understand why Loki’s seid had not healed him. None of the healers could understand why his seid had not fixed his ribs or healed his forearm. And none could understand why it was draining so much of the prince’s strength. It was as if a large chunk of his sorcery had been channelled elsewhere instead of being used on him.

There was nothing for it.

If Loki’s body could not take the strain of healing both his lungs and his shattered forearm, one has to go.

“Don’t touch me” Loki hissed at Thor.

“It is either your forearm or your life”

“If you take my forearm, you take my life”

“You are dying. Do you understand?!”

“I would rather die, than lived as a misshapen beast”

“It’s not even your sword hand”

“I will rather die than be misshapen any further!” Loki bellowed.

“Lo-”

“Look at me and tell me what do you see!” Fire flashed in the depths of Loki’s eyes.

“...”

“Tell me! Answer me! What do you see my Lord of Aesir?!”

Thor frowned. “A dying creature”

“A runt. A frost giant runt, who should not have lived pass the first winter!”

Thor tightened his lips as he looked at the Jotun prince.

“I cannot lose a limb Aesir. I cannot!”

“Does your life mean so little to you Loki?” Thor asked softly.

Loki let out a bitter laugh.

“My life is no precious thing to me Aesir. I do not fear death” He said.

“Then what do you fear?”

Loki did not answer to that.

Thor let his eyes wondered once again over the Jotun.

Loki was skin and bones, weak and sickly.

He is dying, yet there is such a strong will to live in his eyes. Fierce and untamed... like wild fire. And for the first time, Thor thought he understood Loki just a little. He sees in him a wild spirit, a strong spirit... one that was so used to clinging onto hope, be it hope as fine as spider-web, Loki will cling onto it, because that is all he could do.

He is clinging now, clinging to everything he held dear, his arm, his life...with thread as fine as that spider-web. And Thor felt something he never knew he could feel for a beast like Loki. He felt pity. He felt sadness for him and a sense of reverence at his fiery will to rise above everything, despite all that fate had dealt him.

“I’m sorry” Thor said. He looked towards the healers for a moment before turning back to Loki. “But I cannot afford to have the blood of a Jotun prince on my hands”

Before Loki could move, before he could defend himself, Thor shifted to seize Loki. Loki’s eyes widen, fear and horror clutched him.

“Stop! No!” Loki cried; his nails latched and clawed uselessly at Thor’s armour, his legs jamming and kicking as Thor forcefully hauled him over his strong shoulder.

Like flocks of sheep, the healers move hurriedly towards the wooden table.

Loki trashed and screamed. His locks were flying and wild. His icy finger latched onto Thor’s blond locks and pulled as hard as he could. Thor clenched his jaws in pain, his scalped tearing. He threw Loki onto the table, wrestling him down.

“Unhand me!” Loki kicked and twisted as they all wrestled him onto the straps.

They caught all of his limbs with their gloved hands. His ankles, his wrist, his arms! He jerked one leg loose only to be caught again by more hard pinching fingers.

“Release me!” Loki’s dark nails tore across Thor’s face.

Thor let out a hoarse shout, but he did not let go. Dampness of blood rolled down his face, but he would not let go, fighting Loki down.

“I will not let you die here!” Thor gritted, as he strapped Loki’s trashing right arm into the strap.

Loki screamed in rage and fury.

“You want me to live so badly Thor?! Then I will have you save me! A life for a life!” Loki’s free fingers swung to latch against Thor’s bare neck, dark nails stabbing through burning skin, drawing blood.

At once, Thor was drowning in cold. The iciness on his throat spread at a terrifying speed till it consumed all of him, paralysing him. He gasped; his senses seemed to heightened, noticing beat of his heart and the rushing of blood in his veins. There was gushing in his ears as though of water.

Thor’s knees buckled, but he did not fall. Loki was holding him up with his dark withering arm with an impossible strength.

Loki’s face before him was terrifying, his eyes were dripping in blood lust and the voice that came from his lips were not his. It was deep and terrible, raising all of Thor's hair. He was chanting, hissing in a language that Thor had never heard and it was loud, so loud. It was as if the foul words were filling the entirety of his mind.

The healers were screaming, shouting for the guards, the entire room seem to shake, the curtains rip down in half and the glassy windows crack.

 _“Loki!”_   Thor tried to shout, but no sound left his lips.

An intense fear swept over him, a fear that did not grew from him.

Thor could feel himself being pulled under, as intense cold chilled him to the bone marrow. A cold that went deeper than his skin, his bones, his blood...It was swelling from his chest, his heart. Then he heard it... he could hear things that weren’t there. Blood curdling screams, chilly laughter, and ululating wails, they all echoed in his mind.

And then he saw dark disfigured shapes rising behind Loki and the Jotun open his mouth as if to swallow. It was impossibly wide and dark as if the abyss, the scarlet of Loki’s eyes morphed to black.

Thor felt his strength being drain in its entirety, sucked out of his very body.

He could not breathe... It was so cold, so so cold.

There was a loud bang. The guards had broken down the door.

“Loki...” Thor whispered, forcing with all his remaining strength to reach his numb fingers up, and touch Loki’s face. “Stop...”

The last thing Thor saw before his eyes slid shut was a guard raising his great spear and bringing it down over the back of Loki’s head.


	4. Gold and Coal

Frigga sat by Thor’s bed day and night for a week. Not for a moment had she left Thor’s side. She had her meals taken to her, and she would sleep slumped on the little table by Thor’s bed if she even sleep at all.

Gently, she brushed Thor’s golden locks, tugging them behind his ears. She had sent her youngest, Baldur away earlier that day in anger when the child spoke the truth no more dared to say.

“Is Thor dead?” Baldur had asked innocently.

“Leave” She had said coldly. “I do not want you here”

She did not mean it. It was just that she could not bear to hear the how true Baldur’s word rang. Thor might as well be dead. His skin was as white as sheet, every vein in his body were visible, running like a complex labyrinth over his icy cold skin. His breath was shallow, and blue of his eyes were so pale it was almost transparent.

There was a knock on the door.

“Come in” Frigga answered.

Slowly, the door creaked open and Sif entered.

“My queen” She bowed.

“What is it dear?”

Sif hesitated, fidgeting a little. Frigga did not seem to notice, her eyes never leaving Thor as she watched the shallow rise and fall of Thor’s chest. The only indication that her son still lives.

“Someone needs to run Asgard my Queen” Sif said softly.

Frigga tugged, Thor’s blanket a little higher over his chest.

“There is the council” Frigga said.

“Yes, but they cannot assent to decisions without a King…”

Frigga wondered if she should pull the curtains apart to allow the gentle moonlight ray to enter.

“Or a Queen”

Frigga wondered if Thor was cold. Perhaps she should order more fur covers to be brought to him. Thor looked cold.

Suddenly a gentle hand lid over Frigga’s shoulder, shocking her. Frigga looked up and for a moment, she did not seem to recognize Sif, then she blinks, looking back to Thor again.

“What have I done…?” Frigga whispered.

It was she who had told Thor to watch that monster. It was she who had told Thor to tolerate that beast!

Right now, if slitting the throat of that animal would bring Thor back, she would do it with her own hands and be damn with the consequence! She would rain down fire on Jotunheim if it would bring Thor back! She would kill every Jotun with her bare hands if it would bring Thor back to her!

“It is not your fault” Sif said.

“Is it true that that monster had escaped again?”

“Yes....But have no fear. Every one of our guards that could be spared are searching fo-”

“Then why isn’t it found yet!” Frigga cried, standing to her feet rounding at Sif.

“My Queen” Sif lowered her head.

It took a moment for Frigga to realize with a sudden shame that she had been shouting.

Norms… What had gotten into her? Has she not always chastised Thor on the manner of being a prince? Drilling into him how a prince should and should not act? His duty? And now, what of her?

“I’m sorry” Frigga apologized. “I’m just so tired”

“I know my Queen. And I’m sorry for intruding”

“No. No…I forget myself” Frigga said. “I…I still have a duty to Asgard”

“You need to rest my Queen”

“Yes” Frigga nodded, meaning to sit back down when Sif stop her.

“You need a proper rest. You have not left this room for a week”

Frigga looked back at Thor, not wanting to leave him. What if he dies when she is gone?

“Asgard needs you more than anything now” Sif said quietly.

Frigga knew Sif was right. If Asgard is weak, the other realm would take this as an opportunity to strike. She cannot afford it. There must be a home, a throne, for Thor and Odin when they wake.

Slowly, she forced herself to leave Thor’s side.

There was a man outside the door.

Tall and fair, with hair as black as night and eyes as green as the sharpest blade of grass. He wore dark green tunic, long black pants and leather boots.

Frigga gave him a critical look. He did not seem like any servant she had seen before nor did he dress like one.

“My Queen” he bowed, stepping back to make way for her.

There was something strange in the way he moves, but she could not place it.

“Who are you?” Frigga asked.

“I am here to clean the king”

“Clean?”

“Yes my Queen, the King needs to be clean even in such a state” He said. “It has been a week”

“Oh…go on then” Frigga nodded.

Sif eyed the man as she followed Frigga down the hall.

The man entered the room without hesitation, shifting with liquid grace to Thor.

“Look at you…” Loki lowered himself onto the bed. His fingers reached to take Thor’s icy face between his hands and he bends forth dangerously close. “The Mighty Thor. With all your strength, what can you do now, but cling pathetically onto life…” He hissed.

What he is about to do next have nothing to do with guilt or pity. He felt none of it… In fact, he felt almost nothing. He had been incapable of these emotions for a long time now.

Over the years, his dark sorcery had taken bits out of him, slowly, rendering him more and more insensitive to sentimental emotions. It is only the strong emotions that he feels now. Anger and hate...more than anything else. 

“Your people save your life, did you know that…?” Loki murmured, his thumb brushed Thor’s cheek.

Thor’s people were the reason that Loki could not let Thor die. He hears the whispers of what was being said in the halls and he did not like it.

Most had lost hope that Thor would ever return. But rather than despair, their blood boiled with lust for the kill.

For death!

The moment Thor passes, they would bring war upon Jotunheim in his name. Murder in his name!

Rather than chaos, they stood united and strong, behind a single man. Behind Thor.

They stood united and powerful against one common enemy.

Thor’s enemy.

Him.

Jotuns.

There was no usurp of power, no riots, nothing. Just unity.

And he could not have it. Oh no… Loki cannot have that.

It seems that Loki had been playing this game all wrong. It seems that he had underestimated Asgard’s _love_ for Thor. Well, not anymore.

 _“You are so loved, King of Asgard… Oh how I envy you"_ He thought bitterly as he tilted Thor’s head back a little, opening his pale lips.

He said the incantation in his mind, feel the warm surged seid in his blood, the heat rising from his throat to his tongue. He parted his lips and hovers over Thor’s. Their lips brushed, his ebony locks spilled, caressing over Thor’s narrow aristocratic nose.

The life force he stole from Thor, whatever was left of it that had not gone to fixing him anyway, they shimmered like golden smoke, swirling, twisting and contracting. And in the midst of it all, slick black threads too weave and curl together with gold. These were tiny bits of Loki’s soul.

Thor would crave for him in time, when that piece of soul starts seeking for its true host.

But now, slowly, threads of gold and ebony flowed together from his parted lips into Thor’s.

He felt bile rising, he felt sick as if spiders were crawling up his throat but he fought it down, his fingers tightened, dark nails dug into Thor’s cheeks.

The fairness of Loki's flesh seeped away slightly, but still he maintained his Aesir form.

Thor began to choke, his body jerked, color trickled back into the whiteness of his skin. He let out a shuddering gasped as if the breath of life had been breathe back into him, and then his eyes snapped apart, wide, full of terror.

“No…no…!” Thor whimpered in confusion, still trap in his terror.

His heart drummed, he started to struggle, shaking hands flailing, meaning to untangle himself from his covers, from Loki.

“No! Let go! Please! Please no!” The terror was so thick in his voice it startled even Loki.

At once Loki threw his entire weight on Thor, his hand seized Thor’s shoulder while the other pressed hard against Thor’s chest, over his thundering heart; forcing him down.

 _“Mulceo”_  He whispered, seeking to take Thor’s blind terror away.

“No! No…!” Thor trashed, his golden locks flying as he struggled beneath Loki, smacking Loki in the face.

Loki hissed, grabbing tighter against the struggling Aesir.

 _“Mulceo Thor”_ He pressed his hand harder against Thor’s chest.

Even in Thor’s weakened state, Loki still had to wrestle him with all his strength. It took a moment of bucking and shoving and nonsensical mumbles and cries before Thor ceased fighting. He lay there panting; his vision was foggy, blurred.

“Do not fear. You are safe” Loki said softly.

Thor felt comfortable heat against his chest. It was soothing; it was peaceful and serene. Gradually, everything came into focus. He did not recognize the face that hovered so close to his. His fingers mindlessly moved to hold the strong hand on his chest.

“Welcome back, Thor” Loki said, pulling back he sought to leave when Thor’s fingers weakly curled over his wrist, stopping him.

“Wait…”

Of course Loki could wrench them away if he wished to, but he did not. He looked at Thor with mild amusement.

“Thank you…” Thor croaked; relieved.

For nights and days now he could not tell, he had been trapped in fear, in nightmare, in darkness. He could not remember very well what happened in that void, but what he did remember was cold dripping fear that clawed at him constantly; one that paralyzes him completely.

“…”

“Who are you?” Thor gave a weak tug; guiding the man towards him. “Come closer. Let me look upon your face” 

In those brief moments where his mind had burst out of that drowning sea of terror, he had heard the healers around him speak in a grave voice to one another. He had heard his mother’s sobs and Baldur’s pleas that he opened his eyes. He wanted to shout to them that he was right there; save him, wake him, but he never could, before being dragged back again.

No one had been able to pull him out completely. This man must have done something. He needed to know who he is. He needed to thank him.

“Give me your name” Thor said.

“What would you like to call me?” Loki smirked, sliding closer along the bed.

“Your name”

“And what is my name? Tell me, for I have many” He said, hovering over Thor.

Thor frowned at the man’s words. He did not know his name. Those bright emerald eyes that seem to bore into him were foreign, but yet he thought the man sounded so familiar.

That voice… he had heard them before he was sure.

He released the man’s wrist and lifted his shaking hand to clumsily cup the man’s cold icy face. He brushed his thumb over the man’s cheek bones; then his fingers ran over the wealth of those shoulder length ebony locks. Thor searched his face hard, searching for familiarity when he notice a tinged of blue over the side of the man’s neck.

His eyes widen by a fraction, realization dawned upon him.

Loki? Could it be?

His hand shifted lower to place them over the side of Loki’s neck where there was a tinge of blue. They were cold enough to hurt, giving Thor all the confirmation he needed.

He trailed his fingers next over the fairness of Loki’s skin, running them over his cheeks again, his lips, the side of his eyes, in wonder. Certainly they were cold, but it did not burn him.

The change was not just cosmetic; it was to some degree, biological too. Such magic…

“So you are a sorcerer and a shape-shifter” Thor murmured, letting his hand dropped.

Loki grinned. “Very good...You are sharper than all your guards put together”

Surprisingly Thor let out a soft chuckle.

“You in my bed, with me beneath you, and hearing you compliment me? This isn’t something you see everyday”

Before Loki could snap that he wasn’t complimenting, Thor’s door was flung open. Loki snapped his gaze at once to the door to see Sif looking at him.

She did not notice that Thor had awakened. Panic and fear suddenly flashed over her eyes.

“What are you doing?! Stay away from the King!” Sif bellowed, drawing her sword, lunging at Loki.

Loki hissed, leaping off the bed just as the metal swung, narrowly missing him. He dropped his Aesir appearance, blue creeping over the fairness of his skin, his emerald eyes morph to red, the illusion that hide his horns and the true length of his locks vanished.

“I knew it!” Sif stood between the bed and the beast, she raise her sword, widening her stance.

She will die protecting Thor if need be.

“Sif…” Thor croaked.

Hearing that voice, Sif turned around at once.

“Thor…?” She gasped, barely daring to speak.

“Yes Sif”

At that moment, Loki vanished.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The meeting went as well as Laufey had expected. Thrym was roaring mad when he had heard Loki intent to plunge them into another war. Not because he didn’t desire Aesir blood, but because it was Loki’s idea.

He hated that runt! Abhorred him!

“How dare you to drag us into another scheme of his!” Thrym roared, slamming his large hand on the council table, standing at once to his feet.

The ice creaked beneath his powerful blow.

“Do you think war is a child’s game?!” Thrym spat at Laufey. “Last I heard, Laufey was the King of Jotunheim, not Loki! Not yet!”

“Hold your tongue!” Helblindi growled. “You tread close to treason!”

“Then have my head! I care not! Someone needs to say it!” Thrym glared at Laufey.

"..."

“I wonder if you are still fit to be King. Perhaps old age had ma-”

“How dare you!” Helblindi screamed, standing to his feet. “Guards! Seize this traitor!”

“Enough!” Laufey roared, stabbing a glare at Helblindi. “Last I heard too, Laufey was the King of Jotunheim! Not Helblindi!”

There was silence.

Helblindi clenched his jaws in shame and guilt. He lowered his head.

“Forgive me” he muttered, taking his seat.

“Sit, Lord Thrym” Laufey commanded.

Thrym hissed at Helblindi as he returned to his seat once again.

Laufey’s eyes were cold and hard as he looked upon the faces of his councilmen. None other than Thrym had voice any protest. Not that they ever did. He was surrounded by flatterers, backstabbers and loyal fools who hadn’t the balls to correct their King even if situation called for it.

At times, Laufey was thankful that Thrym played the role of the devil’s advocate well enough.

But Laufey did not miss constant silent communication between Thrym and Býleistr either. He knew that Thrym was one of his men that wanted Býleistr on the throne instead of Loki. He said nothing to it.

“I want our armies prepared, trained and armed” Laufey said. “Whether we go to war is uncertain. But we will prepare”

“…”

“And with the casket returned, I want the city rebuild. I want shelter build beneath the ice. Have storehouses made, as many as is possible. Store any and every scrap of food and harvest we have. This time, should there be war, the Aesir will not graze us bare with their cursed fire again”

“Yes my King” His men said in unison.

Laufey gave a nod.

“Thrym and Helblindi will be in charge of the armies” Laufey started dividing the task between his council of twenty.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The news of Thor’s return to health spread like wildfire. Before the day was over, all of Asgard knew of it. The King has returned. There was feasting and merry-making in all of the taverns. The celebration poured to the streets as the Aesir cheered for the king. So happy were the Aesir that most had forgotten that there was an enemy in their midst.

But not Thor.

Thor remembers Loki.

Loki had not been seen since he had woken Thor a few days ago. It was rather worrying that no one was paying much attention to that Jotun.

Was this Loki’s intention? Thor wondered. To have the whole of Asgard distracted with Thor so that no one would notice him while he plots his schemes?

But the fact that Loki revealed himself at seemingly random occasions to Heimdall’s sight and having Thor command his guards around, chasing shadows, told Thor that Loki was calling for him. It was as if he was saying, _come out and play, King of Asgard. I am waiting…_

“To the King!” the hall cheered, raising their goblet to Thor who sat above them on the royal table.

“Let the feast begin” Thor smiled, raising his own goblet.

The feast started and continued well through the night. It was wild and loud, as music played and drunken men boasted shamelessly. Baldur, Sif and Frigga left before the men became too vulgar in their drunkenness.

Thor joined the warriors at their table once the queen had left. This is where he belonged, with his warriors and friends.

Everything was perfect until Loki suddenly showed up in his Jotun blue skin.

“Mind if I join?” He asked loudly, standing atop the royal table with fur and gold strap over his hips, and gems of emerald, ruby and topaz weaved within his hair.

It took a moment for the drunken warriors to notice what was going on. The moment they did, all went to Hel.

There was uproar. Drunken warriors drawing their weapons, cursing and toppling over one another in their madden haste to chop Loki to bits. There was a moment where Thor thought with a grime satisfaction that he would be rid of the damnable prince soon. Let his men finish Loki and be done with it. Loki’s death will not be by his hand.

Loki stood fearless, turning his eyes to Thor.

Their eyes met, a devilish smile curled over Loki’s lips.

Thor felt something stirring in him, and then came a soft whisper.

 _“I save you...A life debt is owed and a life debt shall be paid...or life, I will take from you...”_ Thor almost leaped out of his seat in shock, looking from left to right until he realized that the voice was in his head.

He looked back at Loki.

 _“Command that none shall touch me on Asgard and I will hold your debt absolved…"_  Came the whisper again. With that Loki turned towards the cursing warriors.

“You die tonight Jotun!”

“You filthy vermin!”

“Beast!”

“Monster!”

Loki spread his arms on either side of him as the warriors charged. There was no fear in his eyes, simply amusement. Daggers flew, grazing Loki's arm. At once Thor flinched, a sudden spike of pain pricked his upper arm where Loki bled.

The King swept his gaze back at the Jotun; a suspicion dawning on him.

Another dagger flew, stabbing Loki's right shoulder. Blinding pain exploded over Thor's shoulder. Thor gasped, his hand flew to clutch his burning right shoulder but Loki did not so much as flinch, as blood trickled down his cerulean skin. 

"Thor...?" Volstagg frowned. 

 _"Command it...or you shall die..."_ The monster whispered.

Arrows flew, piercing Loki's leg.   

“Halt!” Thor roared, standing to his aching feet, as a spear ran through Loki’s guts.

Blood spilled.

Thor almost doubled over at the sheering pain that tore his body; but still he stood on his feet, his hands clutching the table, hard.  

More knifes flew, sailing pass the Jotun.

“Stop!” Thor thundered; the sky beyond their walls shreiked.

The entire chamber went dead silent. Their watery red eyes darting from the bleeding Jotun to their heaving King.

“What are you doing?” Volstagg hissed from his side, but Thor ignored him. He took in a deep steadying breath.

“Let him go. He is under my protection. None may hurt him as long as he is no threat” Thor said, looking Loki in the eye.

Loki grinned, his powerful hands broke the spear close to his belly and with a motion he hauled the rest out through his back.

There was a chorus of murmurs as the warriors look at one another.

Loki coughed, pulling the arrows and daggers from him next. And after a moment, his wounds knitted themselves. He straightened up.

Cerulean meets scarlet once again. A sinister smile curled over Loki's lips.

 _"No longer shall you bear my pain and my death...A debt is owed and a debt is paid....no more, no less..."_ The voice whispered again in Thor's mind.

Thor did not respond as he glared coldly at the Jotun beast.

Loki leaped down from the table. 

The warriors parted when Loki move pass them. They curse him, spat on the ground he walked.

“Beast!” One of the warriors spat at Loki full in the face.

Loki snarled, striking out, he punched the large man in his flushed sweaty face. The warrior roared, swinging his war hammer, narrowly missing Loki.

Ice spikes flew, piercing the warrior’s right eye.

Blood poured. The man howled, stumbling back.

There was an outrage. The crowd roared in seething fury raising their battle axe and spears. Plates and goblets smashed.

Loki grinned, turning his fiery gaze all around him, taking in the face of his enemies. His soon to be dead enemies that is; as ice dagger bloomed from both his hands.

“Amuse me, dogs”

“Enough! Leave him be!” Thor bellowed with the sound of thunder in his voice; halting the hands of men from cleaving Loki’s skull in half.

“Just when I was about to have fun” Loki let out a dramatic sigh.

“You will leave at once!” Thor glared at him.

“Of course” Loki gave a mocked bow.

“Sleep with ye eyes open beast!” They hissed at Loki.

Loki ignored them.

Thor watched Loki leave; he watched the way he moves as if a predator on the hunt; his footing sure and without hesitation.

“What was that?” Hogun asked when the door clicks shut.

Thor sighs, sitting back down. “I owe him. I would not be here now if not for him”

“Too kind. Too kind...” Fandral slurred, downing another goblet of mead. "Gods have no need to bother with the deeds of beasts”

Thor shrugged. He had a few more rounds with his friends before he bid them goodnight. He wanted to seek the Jotun out.

The more Thor thought of Loki’s actions, the odder it seemed. Almost a contradiction in themselves.

Why would Loki save him? An enemy Thor knew Loki wished dead. If it was to bind him, then why did Loki free him so easily? If Loki saved him to be made a decoy while Loki carries out his schemes, then why make such a grand entrance? Why burn the hateful memory of him in the minds of every highborn warrior in Asgard? What does Loki seek?

When Thor reached the bright hall outside the feasting chamber, it was empty and silent; torches burnt along every pillar that lined the long passage.

“Loki” Thor hissed, walking slowly down the hall.

He wouldn’t want the drunken warriors to hear him. There’s a beast in every man, and Thor did not wish to test its restrain again tonight by having his men know that their King would willingly seek out a Jotun. Not to kill, but to have words.

“Loki!” He called a little louder.

Bodiless laughter chimed all around Thor. Thor stopped in his steps, looking all around him.

 _“I told you, you are no King…Whispering and sneaking in the halls like a thief in the night in fear of your own men…”_ Loki's voice rang.

“At least I do not hide myself like a coward!” Thor growled.

_“Valor… Ah… I forget, you Aesir valued valor beyond all…”_

“…”

_“But tell me…what use is valor when you are dead in the ground?”_

“I will not hurt you” Thor said. “We Aesir do value valor, but also honor”

“…”

“I swear to you on my honor that I will not hurt you unless you give me reason to”

“You cannot hurt me” Loki said; slipping out from the shadows of the pillar by Thor’s side.

He was in his Aesir form. Tall, fair and lean. Clad in dark green tunic, black leather pants and boots.

Loki shifted towards Thor with predatory grace. An animalistic smile on his lips.

“Why have you come?” Loki asked.

“I have been searching for you”

“Your soldiers you mean” Loki snorted.

“On my command”

“It was fun really, to have them running in all directions”

With a growl, Thor’s fingers flew to seize the front of Loki’s tunic, jerking him forth. Loki slammed against Thor’s chest.

“Ah…I do like it rough” He purred, his hand brushed along Thor’s strong arm.

Tingles of fire surged over Thor’s skin, shocking him. What was that?!

“Is something the matter Thor?” Loki asked with a grin.

Thor shoved him back. "No"

“Of course”

“Why are you here Loki?” Thor asked. “Answer me! And no more lies!”

Loki smiled darkly.

“What would you like to hear?” He asked. “I can tell you any number of tale you prefer”

“I prefer the truth”

“And what is your truth, King of Asgard?” Loki asked.

“…”

“Am I here to rob Asgard of her treasures as you already believe? Am I here to assassinate Odin Allfather as most of your people would think?”

“…”

“Perhaps I am here to burn Asgard to the ground. To slaughter her people as surely a savage beast would” He steps dangerously close to Thor and leans up, pressing his lithe body against Thor’s hard ones. “Or am I a simply a curious creature wishing to see the glory of Asgard told again and again to me since I was a babe?” Loki’s fingers seized Thor by his golden locks.

“Loki” Thor growled in warning.

“Tell me, which of these tales would fascinate you the most? Do you prefer that I am the monster you Aesir tell your children of at night? Or just a curious Jotun? A crown prince locked away in a silver cage of ice, never once seen the world, until now…”

“…”

Loki smirked when Thor gave him no reply. He tugged at Thor’s hair and pressed his lips against the shell of Thor’s ear. His free fingers lid over Thor’s broad shoulder.

“The ‘truth’ Thor…is what you believe…” Loki’s breath brushed Thor’s sensitive ear, making him shudder.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“My prince” Thrym bowed, as the door close behind him.

Býleistr tucks his long snowy hair over the back of his pierced ears as he look up from his desk overflowing with scrolls and crumbled drawings. He was charged with the rebuilding of their crumbling city.

“Lord Thrym” He stood to his feet as the other strutted towards him. “How was work with my dear brother?”

“Infuriating. That boy is so green in the art of war he pisses grass” Thrym sneered; running his hand over his wavy ebony hair that fell over his shoulder in frustration.

Býleistr chuckled. “How vulgar. I hope you do not speak of me in such a manner to others”

“No offence. Though Laufey may be the one leader I would follow to the end of the universe, I can barely stomach any of his children. And you are just tolerable”

“Which means you like me the most”

“I do” He pulls out the chair before Býleistr's desk, taking his seat.

He only liked Býleistr the most because he was not on Loki’s side. But truth, in terms of personality, Helblindi suited him best. The second prince is a keen learner and a loyal man. He would be a good King, Thrym could tell. 

But unfortunately, his loyalty to Loki loses Thrym’s favour in him.

Býleistr took his seat. “Tell me, what may I do for you Lord Thrym?”

“I wish to know what Loki is planning”

Býleistr lets out a laugh. “You must be joking. No one knows what goes on in my brother’s little head”

“Yes, But I wish to know what he told you two”

Býleistr look at Thrym curiously. “Why?”

Thrym smiled.

“Do you not trust me?” He asked. “You know that I am on your side. I am one of those who wish to see you on the throne”

“Ah…that I do” Býleistr said. “But I will not have Jotunheim on flames just so you can have your revenge on Loki. I will not be the King of a wasteland”

“Have no fear my prince. I will not risk Jotunheim’s safety”

“Then prepare the armies as you are commanded. Ask nothing of what do not concern you” Býleistr said.

Thrym let out a bitter chuckle. “How arrogant, as is the trait of Laufey’s children. You could learn a thing or two from your dam, or you would very soon find a spear through your heart after you take the throne”

“…”

“I will take my leave now” Thrym stood to his feet, giving Býleistr another bow.

He was almost at the door when Býleistr spoke. “I do not forget my friends, Lord Thrym”

“…”

“I promise you that you will hear him scream”

Thrym snorted, turning to regard Býleistr. “I care not if he screams; it is not his screams I desire. It is his life! And all the sweeter, if he would know the pain of betrayal as he draws his last breath!”

Býleistr smirked. “Then I swear to you, it will be done”


	5. Beast and Man

**  
**

Thor panted; his hard body glistened with sweat. His fingers gripped the side of his marble basin as he forced himself to look up into the wide crystal mirror in front of him. Dark circles were forming beneath his eyes. His blond locks dangled in a state of mess about his face. His cheeks were flush and the monstrous organ between his thighs was hard, swollen and aching with need.

His nights since he had woken from _that_ place had been plagued with nightmares of Loki. And he had woken up more times than he dared to count, sweaty and bothered, his cock hard and painful. And since then too, he’d always felt a stirring in him whenever the prince was in the room. And he felt different.

Dark thoughts were seeping into his mind more and more these days. Dark desires and wants. The lust for power and the hunger for blood. These desires....these wicked wants, he had buried them deep in him, in the darkest part of him for so long...so so long... Why it is suddenly resurfacing now of all times?  

Worst, whenever he looked at Loki, he felt an almost animalistic desire to devourer the Jotun. To claim him. To mark him. To dominate and to posses him at all times! The desire to have Loki beneath him, trembling and whimpering in fear at his touch was so overwhelming he could feel his cock twitch deliciously. He stomp the last thought down at once.

No!

A part of him felt sick, but there was another who was just licking its lips in anticipation and lust. He was more than certain now that Loki had cursed him somehow. Such thoughts do not suddenly come into existence without reason. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

“The people would be expecting a celebration for your crowning your Grace. What would your Grace prefer? A feast? A ...” One of Thor’s councilmen droned, on and on and on.

Thor wasn’t listening. He hadn’t heard a word anyone said after about ten minutes into the meeting. He had been glaring at Loki who sat on the opposite end of the long golden table, with a fruit bowl in front of him, picking away.

There was a loud crunch as Loki bit into his apple.

The Jotun was having too much of a good time watching Thor suffer in the meeting. A devilish smirk tugs at Loki’s lips as he chews the delicious sweetness that seems to melt in his mouth. The sticky juice, trickling down him forearm.

Loki knew Thor was watching him and decided to tease him some more. He slips his tongue between his lips and seductively drags them over his cerulean skin, licking away the sweet juice.

Thor’s features darkened.

Loki took another bite, beads of translucent juice, trickle from his mouth. Umm... Thor could almost imagine Loki moan with the way he closed his eyes, his expression twisted in sweet pleasure, his tongue dragging over his lustrous lips seductively. Heat was starting to pool down his lower region.

Then suddenly Loki opened his eyes and spoke. “What about a tournament?” He asked, shifting his gaze away from Thor.

All at once, Thor was aware of how silent his councilmen had become. No one spoke, the silence so still you could hear the drop of a pin. His councilmen were all looking at him, waiting for him to say something. Thor had no idea what they had been talking about a moment ago. And what tournament? What was that about?

“What...What would your Grace suggest?” A white hair bended old man asked, his voice wavering slightly.

“Well...” Thor started, trying to remember what the purpose of the entire meeting was. He quickly drew a blank. He had no idea what had been happening for at least an hour.

“I do love tournaments. And it would be an opportunity for the King to invite potential mates too” Loki said. “I heard it is custom that the King should be with a Queen within the year of his coronation”

“...”

All eyes were on Thor, waiting for his respond. Thor stole a look at Frigga who sat at his side. Though her expression remained calm and neutral, Thor could tell that she was disappointed.

“It is perfect don’t you agree? Killing two birds with one stone” Loki pushed, playing Thor for a dullard. He let Thor’s confuse expression linger for a full minute before going for the kill “We were talking of celebrating your coronation your Grace” Loki mocked. “Were you not listening?”

Thor could literally feel Frigga close her eyes in frustration. As for his councilmen, he knew they must be laughing at him though their expression remained as blank as ever.

He curled his fingers as he glared at the little trickster, taking another bite from his apple. There was the sudden urge to just dart over the table and strike the beast for his insolence. To hurt Loki and ha- Thor stilled his straying thoughts.

“I apologize” Thor said firmly. “I am weary. We shall pick this up again tomorrow. You are all dismissed”

The council nodded.

“As you say your Grace” An old man rasped.

There was a great shuffling of chairs as they stood to their feet.

“Thor...” Frigga leans over to his son as the men began filling out.

“I’m sorry... I-”

“Yes, you should be sorry. But that is not what I need to speak to you about”

“...”

“You cannot let him attend the next meeting, there are urgent things that need to be discussed away from his ears”

Thor understood what she meant. They need to discuss the casket and the possibility of war with Jotunheim should things go south.

“What would you have me do?”

“Control him if that is even possible. If not, I wouldn’t hesitate using some _force_ ” Frigga said vindictively. She hadn’t forgotten what Loki had done. Not now, not ever.

Thor remained silent, his eyes shifted back to Loki who was obviously waiting for him.

“I will join you soon mother” Thor said.

Frigga sighed. She had not miss the constant wonder of Thor’s eyes towards the Jotun whenever they were in the same room. It was almost _predatory_ , and it worries her. Reluctantly, she stood to her feet, her long flowing gown dragged behind her as she walks towards the door.

“I look forward to the next meeting” Loki waved mockingly as Thor’s men shifted pass him.

Some of them spat at him, others simply looked at him in utter disgust and repugnance, as if he was some squash bug beneath their prized sandals. Frigga gave him a dark look before leaving.

When at last the door had close behind Loki, he stood languidly to his feet.

“I do love apples” Loki said, tossing the core into the empty fruit bowl.

“That was for decor” Thor growled.

“A waste of food”

Thor watched the Jotun prowl down the long length of the hall towards him. Yes, prowl. Thor would describe the way Loki move as prowl, not a sound to his steps, like a great black panther of Midgard in the night. Those blood red eyes always predatory and watchful, cautious and fierce. And though Thor loathed to admit it, it made his heart race in thrills of anticipation. The thought of taming this beast as Midgardian’s ringmaster would with a whip, the thought of growling into those ears the word _mine..._ make him shiver in excitement. The power... the dominance... He stomped the thought down at once.

He felt violated and even disgusted at himself, as is the theme as of late.

“What do you want now?” Thor rasped. “More fur? Gems to decorate yourself as if a woman? Gold to waste?” He pushed his chair away from the table, putting on his leather gloves.

“Gold, gems and fur... you think I yearn for such mundane things?” Loki bends down.

Relentlessly he placed his hands on either side of Thor’s seat, trapping the Aesir King.

Crimson meets clear cerulean.

He was so close, so close that Thor could feel biting coldness dig into his skin. The air about him chilled, his breath coming out in mist. And then, he felt something in him stir... He felt a desire to reach his fingers forth and touch the Jotun, to pull those burning lips against his and that icy body against him.

By the Norns, this is wrong! His muscle tensed.

Slowly, Loki leans forth, his icy breath brush Thor’s cheek, trickling over Thor’s left ear.

“Oh no Thor... no...” He whispered with such intimacy it sends shiver inching down Thor’s spine.

Thor stiffened, heat prickled through his body.

“What I want... is you... To have you bound, naked, spread and wet beneath me, trembling and writhing as if a virgin as I open you up, stretch you nice and wide”

At once, Thor's fingers flew to wrapped around Loki’s neck and he was on his feet. The force shoved Loki back, making him stumble onto the table.

“How da-”

Loki offered a teasing smile, halting Thor’s angry words on his tongue.

“Enough” Thor growled, releasing Loki roughly. “Dreams are dreams. They vanish upon waking. I do not care what you fantasize”

“Oh?”

“But I do care that you do not show yourself in the next meeting. You are not welcome”

Loki chuckled, taking a step forward; he sought to lean in when Thor’s grabs his upper arm, halting him. There was anger in his grip. Or was it perhaps passion?

“What is it Thor?” Loki asked teasingly.

Thor clenched his jaws in rising anger at Loki’s innocent smile. He loathed being played. But he’d be damn if he let Loki know he had crawled under his skin.

“Oh yes. One more thing” Thor said, willing himself not to lose his temper. “Stop slinging around me like a common whore”

At once Loki snarled, wrenching his arm free. His cheeks burnt in shame and anger.

“Is something the matter?” Thor asked innocently as Loki had. Oh how good it felt to rile the cursed sorcerer up.

“What did you just say to me?!”

“You heard me. You are acting like a whore” Thor said.

“How dare you call me a wh-”

“A whore! An arrogant spoilt whore”

“Silence!” Loki shrieked, striking Thor across his face.

Thor smiled, designed to infuriate.

“Have care how you speak to me or I will rip that wretched tongue from you! I-” Loki caught himself before he could embarrass himself any further. He had not forgotten Thor’s words from weeks before.

Thor chuckled.

Loki was livid, his body shaking in pure anger.

“Not going to proclaim that you are the crown prince again are you?” Thor mocked.

Loki’s glare was murderous, his fingers itching to tear Thor’s throat open. But he did not just save the Golden King only to have him dead so soon! For the first time in his life, he held back his urge to kill.

Thor snorted. “Thought so”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Perhaps mocking Loki was not one of the better ideas Thor had. The satisfaction of seeing Loki shamed and humiliated by his own work was starting to look very pale in comparison to the trouble Loki wrought.

 Loki was silent, deadly so. His eyes were vicious, cold and calculating since that incident. Mischief was now mayhem.

Those who dared insult him even the slightest was curse with a terrible illness that left them covered in painful boils and pus. Water was turned to blood upon touching Aesir lips. Swords and weapons turned to poisonous snakes. Hundreds of thousands of tiny insects covered the palace, invading every chamber and every corner of the palace, enveloping them in darkness. Their bites itched terribly and bled. The food rotted upon the touch of servants. The flowers that blossomed in the garden, that decorated the palace, all of them withered within a day.

The only creature not affected by all this was Loki of course.

He sat on the high table and dined to his pleasure, drinking wine and juice as other starved and gaze upon their maggot infested plates in disgust.

By the end of the third day, Thor had received more complaints and pleas than he had for an entire month. He was hungry, tired and irritated, his skin itched and he had scratched them so badly he was bleeding. Perhaps the only consolation Thor could draw from all this mess, was that mayhem was only limited within the palace.

Baldur had cried and whined.

“A King must learn to bend the knee to others sometimes” Frigga told him on the third morning of disaster. She did not raise her voice, but Thor could feel fury bubbling beneath her sweet facade. Her patience with Thor’s stubbornness was running very thin.

There had been several attempts at Loki’s life; but all ended with their throat sliced open and tongues wrenched out.

Thor let out a sigh of irritation when the news that little Baldur had been plagued with an unknown disease reached him. It was the fifth day, which means the fifth plague was this strange illness. It was Loki’s style, one for everyday Thor refused to apologize.

Thor looked up from his scattered desk. This has gone on long enough. He has no more patience to spare.

“Loki. I know you can hear me” He rasped. “You have my apologies. Now undo your tricks”

There was no reply, but Thor could feel a stirring in him. Loki is here, he is listening, waiting for Thor to say more. If Loki is waiting for Thor to beg, he would be waiting a long time.

Thor stood to his feet, shifted around his desk, taking note where his unnatural yearning, the desire to reach was strongest. If Loki would curse him with _this_ then he would use it to his advantage.

He let his gaze drifted about his bug infested study until he felt the compulsion towards a spot. Loki is there, he was sure of it. He moved towards the spot.

“Loki” He reached his gloved hand forth to where he thought Loki might be.

His every sense were on fire, begging him, screaming and him to reach forth, to pull whatever he was reaching for into his embrace. His breath forming mist, his skin prickled at the sudden cold. There was a moment of hesitation before he touched an invisible shoulder. He gripped it firmly, but not hurtfully, his thumb stroked over its icy coolness as if it was the most natural thing.

“Show yourself trickster” Thor ordered.

Loki did; appearing before Thor in his Aesir form. His eyes were cold and aloof. He held his head high and proud.

“Begging a whore?” He sneered.

Thor stabbed him a glare, his fingers tightened. “Enough of your tricks. What would you have me do?”

“You want my forgiveness?” Loki asked.

“Yes”

“Give me a kiss” He rasped.

Thor frowned. “What game are you playing Jotun?”

“You will not do it?”

“...”

“Then so be it!” Loki spat. “Watch then as your dear brother writhe and suf-” Loki’s words were still on his tongue when Thor jerked him forth with an angry growl; sending the smaller crashing against his armoured chest. Powerful arms enveloped Loki, holding him tight.

Loki’s eyes widened. And Thor saw a flash of fear and uncertainty, but he did not back down.

What made him snap?

Perhaps it was frustration at everything that had gone wrong. Anger that Loki would threaten him with Baldur, a child! A mere child! Or the curse Loki placed on him. He did not know. At this moment, he did not care! He was tired, so tired at playing this mind game. 

“This is what you want isn’t it?” Thor snarled; an arm tightened around Loki’s back, a hand lifted to lid over the side of Loki’s neck firmly.

Though he felt no love for Loki, he would never harm his partner. But Loki did not need to know that.

Thor leans down, and there was a moment of hesitation where their lips simply caress, their breath mixed. Thor’s teeth caught Loki’s bottom lip, giving it a tug.

Loki whimpered.

That submissive noise, it was almost enough to send Thor over the edge, his every nerve ending on flames. His entire body suddenly burning with unrestrained hunger for the exotic creature before him. Yearning for him. That unnatural lips, that unnatural skin.

Damn that curse!

Loki swallowed, his hands creep up to lid them over Thor’s chest.

Thor had never seen or felt Loki so tense or unsure before. That was enough to snap some sense into him that he did not just throw the damn sorcerer onto his desk and take him dry. Make him moan or scream he did not care, till his throat was raw and the only thing he would ever know is that force of Thor’s body against him.

For a moment he felt a terrible struggle of his own conscious and something he did not even know.

No...

Curse or not, he refuse to be some animal that act on instinct. Was this the Jotun’s plan? To make him into an animal like them?

“Do you want this?” Thor forced himself to ask.

There was the slightest nod from the prince and Thor pulled the other against him, crashing their lips together.

What came next was nothing Loki was ever prepared for.

An electric jolt flashed through Loki, and at once a thousand tiny tongues of flames began to lick every square inch of his skin. His heart hammered to fits of busting. Thor growled, fingers move to weave within the wealth of Loki’s jet black locks, seizing him, gripping him with sheer dominance.

"Oh..." Loki moaned; thrills of excitement sizzled in his blood.

Thor’s lips were desperate, and fiercely hungry. Loki’s slender fingers kneaded desperately over Thor’s face until he too found the wealth of golden locks. And he seized them, tugged them fiercely.

Thor hissed, biting down hard over Loki’s bottom lip, making Loki cry out in mix pleasure and pain. Blood oozed from Loki’s throbbing lips.

“Thor...” He groaned.

There was so much sensation, so much that all Loki could do was cling onto that powerful body before him, his mouth taking a life of its own, matching the raw hunger of Thor’s mouth as the other fed on him.

Lips caress against lips, suckling and biting in an all out battle of anger, lust and everything in between. He did not know when, he did not know how, but he was suddenly slammed back against the wall, trap and aching.

When Thor pull back, Loki was panting, his body drench with fire, filled with aching need. He was shamelessly hard and throbbing, lust so stark in his eyes. He was not ashamed though. Jotun’s are open about their desires.

“Thor...” Loki tried to speak, running his shaking fingers over Thor’s face.

“Look at me” Thor rumbled. Large callous hand came to cup Loki’s face, turning them to face him.

Thor’s usually gentle eyes were possessive and predatory as he stared at Loki, sending shivers and a hint of fear racking down Loki’s spine.

Thor had not felt so free in weeks, it was as if all chains of constrain had been broken. Worst, he wanted more.

This is wrong! There’s a beast in every man, yes... but not like this.

“What have you done to me?” Thor panted.

When Loki did not respond, Thor let out a growl of anger; his powerful hand move to grab Loki’s clothed cock. Pleasure rocked Loki. He let out a shuddering moan, his knees almost buckled, his nails shifted to dig into Thor’s forearm.

“Thor....oh...” Loki chocked, he arch into Thor’s large hand, his lips parted, his expression twisted in pleasure.

Thor let Loki buck in his hand, feeling it swell as he rolled his fingers to fondle Loki’s sac. Let the devil enjoy himself for a moment, the beast in him chuckle in amusement. The thought was wrong; a part of Thor knew.

This was not the way to get his answer! Ah...but he will get an answer, another part of him hummed.

“Answer me you cock-craving creature. What have you done to me?” Thor gritted. When Loki did not respond, Thor clenched his fingers hard.

Pain sheered. Loki let out a cry.

“Answer me now! Or I will crash them!” Thor spat.

“Stop!” Loki shrieked. When Thor did not, he panicked. _“Ignis!”_ Emerald fire burst from his palm, burning Thor.

Thor howled, releasing Loki he stumbled back.

When he snapped his gaze back at the trickster, Loki was gone. The thousands of bugs that crawl in his study were gone too. The itching bites on his skin were as if they were never there.

For a moment Thor could not speak. Not out of anger or shock, but out of fear...at himself. He looked down at his hands and found them trembling.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki let his gaze drift back down to the sparring ring down below. He watched silently as Thor clashes sword with his Aesir woman.

He had never thought that he might doubt the success of his own plot. True, that fragment of him that had sunk its claws into Thor was surely making the King crave him. But it was doing more than that, Loki quickly realise from the last incident.

Through that morsel, some of his nature were entwining with Thor’s. There was always such a possibility he knew. But he had not expected such an extreme change of character. Such dominance from Thor... Such raw power that he could not even phantom. That predatory look; that hunger... the desire for Loki’s pain.

It was all beyond his calculation. He was supposed to have Thor at his mercy, begging for every scrap of attention, every lightest of caress Loki would offer; and Loki would whisper things into his ears, weakening Asgard from within.

At this rate, Thor would be uncontrollable.

So, how to turn this problem into an advantage? Loki sighed.

After a moment he let out a small chuckle. When had he become so dull? So _safe_? Danger just makes everything so much more thrilling doesn’t it?

He licked his lips. His body shook, in exhilaration. The fun had really just begun.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Candles burn at the corner of Thor’s messy room. His armour lay in a clutter mess by his fur covered bed. Papers and scrolls sprawled over his entire desk, a bottle of ink lay spilled on the floor waiting for the servants to clean the next day.

Thor groaned as he down another goblet of mead. His hands groggily reached for another barrel on the floor. He thumps the new barrel on his messy desk and struggled to his unsteady feet. His fingers clumsily felt of his blade. He felt the handle, picked it up and stabbed it right through the barrel, and with a shove he made an opening. He heaved it and sloppily poured it into his empty goblet, spilling half its content onto his desk and floor, soaking some no doubt important papers.

He couldn’t give a damn at the moment. Hel, he wouldn’t give a damn even if the hallway was on fire!

He sets the barrel down and picked up his goblet, downing the entire thing in a gulp, mead dribbled down the side of his lips.

He had once again refused the invite to the tavern. He missed his friends, he miss telling tales over mead, drinking till he could no longer see straight and the women that would throw themselves at him. He misses it all... and yet... he did not dare join them.

What if he hurt them in his drunkenness?

There is now a part of him he could barely control when he is sober. A part of him that he loathes and fear. He could not take the chance. He dared not!

He groaned, smashing the goblet onto the ground.

He picked up the barrel with his left hand and stumbled towards his bed. He tripped and fell, the barrel rolling out of his hand, spilling its content onto the fur covered ground.

“Another...!” Thor moaned, shaking his spinning head. “Servants! Another!” Thor shouted mindlessly, pushing himself up.

Where was his bed? He couldn’t even remember.

He sat on the floor, his back against his desk when he felt a familiar stirring.

Loki...

Thor felt rather than saw movement by his side. Unconsciously, he licked his lips in hunger.

“Pathetic” Loki droned, letting his gaze graze over the dishevelled form.

Golden locks a mess, Thor’s undershirt and pants soaked in sweat and stained with mead was stuck to his body.

“The Mighty Thor, drowning in sorrow. Whatever could be the matter?” Loki taunted.

Thor turned his head and looked directly at Loki in his Aesir form.

Instantly, Loki stilled at the intensity of those eyes on him. They were fierce, fathomless, dark and dangerous, moving over him possessively. And so hungry.

Loki suppressed a shudder.

This was the Thor no realm has ever seen. The Thor, Loki created. Drunk in mead, Loki wondered if being here was perhaps not the best idea.

Thor pushed himself to his unsteady feet; he lifted his right hand and uncurled his fingers.

“Come here” It was a command.

Loki padded over, his eyes wary, watching every shift of Thor’s muscles. Loki looked at the open hand but he did not take it.

“Why do you fear me?” Thor asked in a taunting voice.

Loki snapped his eyes at once at Thor. It felt as if that fragment of himself was mocking him. Anger rose in him.

He did not fear himself!

“I fear no one!” Loki declared; knocking that outstretched hand away.

He steps towards Thor. His eyes were on fire, challenging and defiant.

Thor watched Loki as if a bird of prey. The beast in him stirred. He wanted to latched his teeth over the junction of Loki’s neck and make him scream in pain and pleasure. He wanted to overpower the Jotun, dominate him in every way the Jotun would fear and crave. To have him chained and wanting. To have him writhing and begging. Calling his name, the only God he would ever call.

“I think you fear me” Thor said.

“Fear?” Loki sneered. He reached to draw his dark nails over Thor’s flushed cheek. “What have I to fear from you, Odinson?” Loki asked. “The beast in you?” He laughed. “I’m the mother of monsters and the father of death!”

Fire flickered at the depths of Thor’s cerulean eyes. And for a moment, Loki saw hesitation. Thor was fighting it.

“I...” Thor murmured; looking away suddenly.

“Don’t fight it Thor” Loki cup Thor’s face. “Show it to me. Show me the face Asgard had never seen”

“The face you create” Thor growled.

“Oh... did I?”

The moment Thor lifted his eyes again, Loki felt a shiver of excitement. It was as if he was looking at someone else completely.

“Show me...” Loki could barely contain his anticipation.

“You know not what you ask” Thor gritted. “You know not what I desire”

“Try me”

“Loki” A warning.

Loki pressed his body against Thor’s. Their breath mixed.

“I am right here...” Loki purred; his thumb stroked over Thor’s cheek. “Let go... and take what it is you desire” 


	6. Midnight Poison

Oh…Oh…Loki was slammed back against the wall, his fingers tugged at Thor’s sweaty hair as their mouth fed on one another in mounting desperation, unable to get close enough.  Their lips were anything but tender, lock in a game of dominance and power-play.

“Thor... oh…” Loki moaned, tearing his lips away for air as Thor grinded their erections together with mounting desperation. Pleasure sizzled, heightened the heat that poured through their blood.

Loki could smell their musky arousal; he could feel slick wetness between them. He could taste the mead on his tongue, and smell the starkly masculine scent that is Thor.

Loki moaned; a hand racked down the front of Thor’s chest down to the damp golden curls between them. Without warning Loki cup Thor with a knee-buckling touch.

Thor gasped, almost biting down on Loki’s tongue, he wrenched his lips away. Strings of saliva connect.

Loki was about to tease Thor with a squeeze when Thor grabbed his wrist hard and slammed it back against the wall.

Cerulean eyes flashed dangerously.

“It it not yours to touch” Thor snarled.

Loki stilled. That was unexpected.

“Get on the bed, back against the headboard” Thor commanded.

Loki did. A little disturb but he was still interested.

He smiled, spreading his legs slightly as Thor crawl over to him. He slid his hands over Thor’s large arms to his shoulders and finally wrapping his arms about Thor’s neck.

“Have you ever been with a man?” Loki asked.

“No. But it matters not. You are no man”

“Aye” Loki shifted a hand to the hot flesh between his legs.

If Thor had never been with a man, he would no doubt be shit at preparing. Loki didn’t want more pain than was necessary if he could help it. He did not trust Thor not to hurt him too much.

He whispered a spell. Heat sheered him as he felt his organ shift. He groaned.

Thor raises his brows in surprise when Loki removed his hand. The trickster had replaced his cock for a cunt.

“This should be more familiar” Loki whispered.

“If it pleases you” Thor cared not; bending down he kissed Loki’s left knee.

Cock or cunt, it makes no difference to him. Loki is Jotun. In his true form, he is both man and woman in a single being.

“Hands on your side. Do not touch me before I allow it” Thor rasped.

Loki did.

“Good boy” Thor lifted Loki’s left leg and dragged his tongue up Loki’s calf, pausing to tease the back of his knees.

Loki gasped, shuddered, as Thor continued on, dragging his tongue up the smooth fairness of Loki’s inner thigh. Working his ways upwards, spreading Loki’s legs, seeking the wet heat of Loki’s most sensitive flesh. He could smell Loki’s arousal; see the slick wetness that stains his thighs.

“Thor…” Loki chocked, his fingers shifted to grasp Thor’s hair.

Thor flicked him a predatory glance that made Loki shiver.

“Your hands Loki. Did I say you could touch me?” He growled.

Loki shuddered, removing his fingers; heat flowed between him in excitement. Oh, there is something so thrilling, so terribly thrilling to be watched with such fierce gaze. The eyes of an animal.

“Good”

“Play me and I will kill you” Loki said.

Thor smirked. “Hush now” He caresses his thumbs over the moist outer flesh for a moment before spreading them wide. And he held them open.

Loki whimpered but Thor ignored him.

Loki was wet for him; his clit was small but unsheathed. Without hesitation, Thor move to suck Loki’s glistering flesh. Pleasure roared. Wave of sensation rocked Loki.

“God!” Loki hissed.

Thor chuckled, dipping his tongue relentlessly into Loki’s heat and pleasuring him with a steady rhythm. Loki moaned and whimpered; his eyes shut in concentration as pleasure slowly builds in the pit of his abdomen like a tight coil.

“Tho-Uh…!”

Thor watches Loki’s expression. He watched them twist in pleasure, watched the way Loki’s head shifted restlessly against the headboard as he took in deep shuddering breath though his parted lips.  His abdomen clenched, his hips writhed and jerked, wanting to get away or pressed more insistently against Thor even he could not tell. Then without warning, Thor turned the tip of his tongue upwards he pressed as deep as he could into Loki and scope out Loki’s wetness.

Loki cried out, his head slammed back into the wood but he barely felt it.

“Shit! Thor!” His toes curled, his fingers tightened against the sheets threatening to rip it apart as he struggled not to reach forth to seize Thor’s locks as Thor pushed his tongue as far as he could into Loki’s moist fold, brushing against his swelling nub.

“Oh!” Loki shouted. His entire body clenched and dampened; drenched in hot fire. His lips parted in breathless pants. His heels dug restlessly against the mattress as he writhed and shuddered in flames.

Thor flicks his tongue over Loki’s nub and move to suck them hard and keep it there.

White hot heat flashed through Loki, a pleasure so intense, it bordered to pain.

“Hel!” Loki cried out, his hips pressed off the mattress, his abdomen clenched, his nails tore through the silken sheets.

At once, Thor stopped. Loki almost screamed in frustration, his eyes flew apart only to see Thor smirking at him.

“Tsk tsk tsk” Thor clicked his tongue. “So eager”

Before Loki could curse him, Thor shifted up, pushed his tongue into Loki’s mouth forcing the trickster to taste himself. It was salty.

Disgusting! Loki shoved at Thor, turning his mouth away.

He had always heard that Aesir are dirty, but he didn’t think they were that dirty!

“Wash your mouth!” Loki coughed.

“They are yours”

“It’s disgusting!”

“You weren’t complaining when I was down there” Thor pointed, pressing his lips against Loki.

Loki wasn’t please but he did not fight it as Thor roughly pushed him back against the headboard, kissing him hungrily, passionately, with such intensity Loki could do nothing but give in. Sweat glistered over their bodies.

Loki moaned; running dragging his dark nails up the hard muscle of Thor’s thighs, up the side of that hard broad body, kneading over Thor’s burning chest.

Oh…he could just imagine Thor’s incredible strength; the power to trap him and to pin him down, the power to kill him, to break his bones with a clenched of his hand. He shivered in excitement at the thought.

“You are so wet” Thor moaned, pulling back as he slid three digits into the heat of Loki’s fold, feeling the slick engorged nub and he stroked him once. Loki’s breath hitched in his throat, heat poured, his nails shifted to dig into Thor’s shoulders.

“Stop!” Loki chocked.

If Thor strokes him anymore, it would be over, at least for him. Even just having that sweet hot bulk of digits between him was almost enough to send him into overdrive. His body hummed in fire.

“What’s the matter?” Thor asked smugly, curling his fingers. Loki gasped, shuddered. “You wish to be left aching all night?”

“Touch me anymore and it will be over you bastard!”

“Ahh…and you are not satisfied with fingers?”

Loki hissed, shoving Thor back he shifted to all fours out of habit. It was the Jotun way. Aesir shouldn’t be much different Loki thought.

“Look at you, dripping wet. Can you smell yourself?” Thor mocked.

“Shut up!”

Thor chuckled.

Loki shivered when Thor lid his slick warm hands over his hips; sliding down towards his inner thigh. He parted them, opening Loki as he tugged Loki back against the large throbbing length.

Loki gasped when he felt the thick hot shaft slid between his folds a moment before Thor positioned himself.

Oh! He wanted so badly at that moment to just reach between himself and take command of Thor’s length. To pressed them against him as he grinds against that throbbing flesh.

There was a slick moist sound when Thor first breached him, stretching him wider then he had ever been.

Loki groaned; his fingers clenched against the sheets. He hadn’t been taken in a long while. It had been so long he didn’t realize how much he missed it until now. How much he missed being filled and stretched to the brim, being pleasured, held and owned. It was a moment where he could just relinquish all control. A moment where he could drop his mask and just… _let go_ of everything.

Oh… do not mistake him. He love power and control, he craves them like a drug, oh yes… but he was also suffocating under the need to always be in command of everything. Controlling everything, directing everything. Always the pillar of his world; never allowing for weakness or it could well be his last.

“Oh” Thor moaned, burying himself to the hilt in the tightness of Loki’s heat as Loki shuddered and gasped.

“Good boy” Thor bends down to place a kiss over Loki’s back, ghosting his hands over the side of Loki’s lithe body that so contrasted his own.

He rocked his hips, pumping in and out of Loki, pulling out to the very tip and ramming right into him, brushing his sweet spot, sending waves of pleasure sheering through him.

Loki cried out, moaned and gasped.

Thor hushed him, pleasuring him slowly, letting the fire build in him. Burning torturously slow until Loki was ready to weep! Bastard!

Loki’s hand flew to seek the moistness between his folds in aching need but Thor snatched his wrist, planting his hand back on the sheets.

“Thor ple-ase”

“No. Not even you are allowed to touch this place” Thor slipped two digits into Loki’s damp folds.

Loki shuddered, his nails shifted to dig into Thor’s forearm.

“Thor”

“Your pleasure is mine to give and mine to take” Thor husked, quickening his pace, driving himself deeper and deeper within Loki, his digits stroking Loki’s sensitive flesh with mounting intensity.

Pleasure roared and crashed.

Loki moaned and whimpered; his entire body shook and writhe in mounting pleasure. His sweaty black locks a mess, dangled over either side of his flushed face. His mouth parted in breathless pants, his face tightened with sensual concentration as his lower body clenched with that sweet tension.

A shimmering pleasure hummed through him and they sharpened and focusing until he could take it no longer, coming with a startled shout, his toes curled, head bowed.

Thor hissed as Loki clenched all about him almost sending him over the edge, his nails dug into Loki’s hips. Damn!

Oh it’s not over yet…far from it. He pulled out at once, earning a grunt from the trickster as Loki collapse onto the mattress.

“What of you?” Loki whispered; lying on his back as Thor shifted to hover over the length of his sweaty body. Powerful arms planted on either side of him.

“You think that is all that I desire?” Thor grinned, flash of danger in his icy gaze.

Loki shivered.

“That was only the beginning. Something gentle to open you up” Thor reach to caress his nails over Loki’s flushed cheek. “What I desire is to chain you up as I take you with you screaming in pain or pleasure care not…What I desire is to hear you beg me, at my mercy”

Loki’s eyes widen in sudden fear. Thor wanted to laugh at that, his erection tightened in excitement. Oh how he love fear… But there was another part of Thor, much stronger now that demanded that he did not hurt the trickster.

“What do you fear trickster?” Thor rasped.

Loki tensed, looking at Thor intently. He opened his mouth hesitantly only to snap it shut again. All senses demanded that he remain silent. Telling anyone your fear, your weakness…it’s a sure way to get yourself killed or tortured!

“You fear chains. You fear to submit” Thor husked suddenly, shocking Loki.

How…?

Before Loki could ask, he knew the answer himself. There is a fragment of him in Thor, wrapped within Thor’s subconscious. Thor may not be consciously aware of it, but it is there.

Thor smirked.

“Will you force me into submission?” Loki asked.

Thor looked at him. A part of Thor told him that this is the way. Loki’s place is beneath him, at his mercy; demanded that he take what is his by right as the king! And another part, growing stronger now, tearing through his conscious screaming that king or not, he had no right!

Thor close his eyes for a moment, he shook his head.

“No…” He cup Loki’s features, running his thumb over Loki’s flushed cheek.

Cerulean eyes meet emerald.

“Your submission is not mine to take. It is yours to give” He slid a hand down the side of Loki’s body, seeking the moistness between him once again as Loki spread his legs. “I will pleasure you tonight, over and over again...”

Loki groaned as Thor slips four of his large digits into him, stretching him wide, filling him up.

“Why..?” Loki moaned, wrapping his arms about Thor’s neck.

Thor simply smirks, kissing Loki fiercely again as his fingers trusted in and out of Loki, curling over Loki’s sweet spot making him cry out and buck. Dark nails racking down his back, his arms.

A darker part of Thor chuckled as Loki arched desperately against him, head falling back, lips parted, expression twisted in pleasure as he came again. There is more than one sort of chain to bind a creature. And it is the invisible ones that are the strongest.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki was grinning widely as he meets Odin. He towered over the old man who sat on the ground. “How does it feel Allfather? To know that your golden boy bedded a monster!”

Odin lifted his one eye, looking at Loki. There was no anger to be seen, no disgust or disappointment.

“Why do you speak so hatefully of yourself?” He asked.

Loki frowned.

“Why do you call yourself a monster when even I do not?”

Loki snorted. “Do you take me for a fool?” He sneered. “Do you think I do not know what you Aesir thought of us?”

Odin heaves a sigh. He looked suddenly very tired and old.

Loki speaks truth... Yes, his people, those that had not fought in the war, they mock and curse, thinking that Jotuns are nothing more than beast or monsters. Something beneath them. Mindless and stupid. They only see and hear what is sweet to their eyes and ears.

They do not know as the warriors of old, that Jotuns are anything but monsters; that the Jotuns are a proud and hard race. Cunning and ruthless. Perhaps not the most honourable in their ways, but those are the enemies to fear the most.

“I do not see a monster before me” Odin said.

“Then you are a blind fool”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thor groaned, waking to the mother of all headaches. He squinted his eyes against the burning sun that threatened to blind him. His clutter from last night had been cleared. The servants must have come while he slept, which means it must be well pass midday.

Norns... he’d missed the council meeting. Not that it would make a big difference if he hadn’t overslept. With his headache, he wouldn’t have gotten out of bed anyway.

He didn’t feel so well. His guts heaving and lurching sickeningly. He turned sluggishly to his side.

He tensed at once, his eyes widened in crashing horror as he saw the sleeping body by his side.

Loki was laying on his front. Cerulean skin almost seems radiant against the sun; the gold that adorned those massive horns glittered. Long silky locks as black as night, framed the Jotun’s sleeping face. Hands tucked beneath the pillow, the full length of his body lay over the top of Thor’s fur covers.

If Thor thought he didn’t feel well before, now he was really going to be sick.

He flung the covers off him and hurdled towards the bathroom. Flinging himself over the toilet he threw up. His guts heaved painfully, his throat burn. His head pounded as if Mjolnir was having a field day in his skull, his eyes watered.

Oh Norns!

His servants must have seen them when they entered the room. Such news, such a sight... it would surely had spread through the whole palace by now.

How was he supposed to face anyone now?! What had he done?!

That  _thing_ in him, now that it had been satiated, it was calmer. His mind was more his own than it had been for days.

He suddenly felt dirty, violated even! He felt anger rising like bile, his felt his blood boiled as he clenched his fingers.

How dare Loki do this to him?! Reducing him into nothing more than an animal! It's sickening!

“It wasn’t so bad was it?” A sickeningly familiar voice came.

Thor wanted suddenly to strike the trickster, he wanted to spit in his face and take a dagger to slice off that wretched tongue and split open his chest!

He took in a deep breath, his hands reached to pull a silver knob, flushing the bubbling content away.

“What have you done to me?” He stood to his feet, turning to face Loki, his body shaking in violent anger.

Loki straightened up proudly, willing to look taller, bigger. The horns helped, his heart drumming madly in his chest. He had never seen Thor so angry before and it frightened him. But he’d be damned if Thor knew this.

“Blaming me now are you? Typical Aesir” Loki sneered.

“What have you done to me Jotun? Answer me!” Thor bellowed.

Thunders clapped, lightning flashed through the skies outside. The air prickled, crackled as if lighting were about to strike.

Loki stood his ground. “I did nothing. You wanted me la-”

“That was not what I meant and you know it!”

“I don’t”

“Then let me enlightened you Jotun” Thor growled.

He’d had enough of everything! Enough!

Loki watched Thor intently as the other move towards him, truly debating if he should flee now until Thor calmed. But before he could, Thor spoke in a tone that chilled him.

“You put something in me; I can feel it in my bones. I know it. It plagues me with thoughts that that are not my own. It plagues me with desire that disgust me” Thor hissed, stepping to a halt in front of Loki.  “Why?”

“…”

“Answer me!” Thor roared; calling Mjolnir to his hands at once.

Thunder crashed outside. Loki leap back at once, ice dagger bloomed in his hand. Fear evident in his scarlet eyes. Thor knew he hadn’t forgotten the might of Mjolnir.

“Tell me or my hospitality for you ends here. And should you lie, I will declare war on Jotunheim with or without proof of your crimes” Thor said.

There was no mercy in his eyes, no pity or compassion, but he did not push anymore. He let Loki think. He knew that the trickster would do everything to protect Jotunheim. How he knew it, he did not know. He just knows it.

Loki looked at him, and he was suddenly angry.

“Fine” Loki hissed.

“…”

“Know this, Odinson. One can never gain without giving something in return”

“…”

“I return your life to you, and with the ritual, a fragment of myself, a little stain”

Thor tensed.

Loki smirked, letting the information sink in before continuing. “You will crave me, you will want me...as that fragment seeks its true vessel. You will have darkness in your thoughts that will only grow if you refuse to sate them, if you fight them, and they will never go away” He said in triumph.

“And you knew this from the beginning” Thor stated, it wasn’t a question. “It’s all so perfect isn’t it? So convenient… chaining me to you. Manipulating me, the King of Asgard with your wicked thoughts” He snarled, stepping towards the tense Jotun.

At once ice dagger was pressed threateningly over his neck.

Thor feared it not. Loki needed him for whatever he was planning.

“You won’t kill me” Thor knows it, dropping Mjolnir on the ground.

Loki hissed; his lips curled baring his teeth.

“Clean yourself and get out of my sight  _ergi_ ”

With a move, Loki lashed out to backhand Thor. Thor accepted the blow without a flinch.

“You bastard! You are no better than me!” Loki spat. “You call me a coward, but at least I do not lie to myself!”

“Just clean yourself up and go” Thor said, moving pass Loki.

Loki knows nothing!

Anyway, from what Thor remembered of last night, it would seem that even Loki feared that  _thing_  in him. Whatever Loki was planning, it wasn’t going very well.

Good… But this darkness in him and these dark desires... something needs to be done.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Frigga sat by Odin’s side, watching him through the veil of shimmering gold. She felt so tired, so very tired with everything that had happened.

She felt stretched as if to the limits, trying her hardest to hold Asgard together in one piece. Trying her hardest to aid Thor in his rule even if she knew she was not the right person for it. And with everything that had happened since Thor’s coronation; Odin’s untimely sleep, the missing casket, an out of control Jotun and now the rumours of Thor bedding the enemy... it will only be time before the councilmen started to doubt if Thor was ready to be king. It would only be time before the warriors doubt if Thor is right to be king. Though none of the misfortune was Thor’s doing, it is only natural that men would want someone to blame. And who better than the new and untested king?

Thor needs Odin, perhaps more than anything.

“My love...you need to come back to us. Asgard needs you. Thor needs you...and I need you” She whispered, taking Odin's hand.  

There was a knock on the door before it creak open.

Frigga lifted her gaze to see Thor enter and in that moment, he thought Thor looked so small and vulnerable. As if that child so many decades ago. 

“Thor...” She called.

Thor was looking at everywhere but her as the door shut behind him. If Frigga dare say it, Thor looked  _frightened._

“Come here my dear” She said.

Thor did; moving over to her, hesitation in his every step.

Frigga smiled; her hands lid gently over Thor’s forearm as he stood by her, his eyes wondered briefly over his father.

“Father will wake...he just has to...”

“Yes...”

“Mother... I...” Thor murmured. “You must have heard by now... the rumours...”

“And is it true?”

Thor lowered his gaze, as if a child waiting for a scolding. Frigga heaves a sigh, standing to her feet. Silence is answer enough.

“I am a mother before I am a queen... talk to me”

Thor looked at her strangely.

“Are you not mad at me?”

“I should be. But what’s done is done. The councilmen and your warriors do not seem too worried” She said. “They applaud your... _prowess_. Norns only knows how you did it”

“Oh...”

Frigga smiled. “Are you hurt anywhere  _delicate_?”

Thor flushed furiously. “Mother!”

“What? Do you need salve for  _burns_?”

“Woman please!”

“I am just worried. Are you hurt at all?”

“No!” Thor was burning red in embarrassment.

Frigga let out a soft laugh shaking her head.

Thor smiled, taking Frigga’s hand. He gave them a gentle squeeze. He loves her. 

“Now enough of jest, you still need to keep him in check” Frigga said. “And we are in urgent need of discussing what to do with Jotunheim. It’s been put off for far too long. Have someone to distract him when it comes time for the next meeting”

“What has Heimdall seen?”

“They are training their armies again”

Thor tensed. “Surely they cannot travel without a Bifrost”

“Not normally... But there are other ways to travel. The casket for one...and that sorcerer... or he may mean to open the door from this side”

“...”

“Do not lose that Jotun. Watch him”

Thor gave a nod. He was silent for a moment. There is something else he needs to tell Frigga.

“Mother...” Thor started. “I...there is something you need to know...”

Frigga deserves to know. She deserves to know that he may be spiralling into madness.

Thor took in a deep breath and told her everything. He told her most that had happened to him, and he told her what Loki said. All this time, Frigga did not interrupt, listening closely. Frigga was silent when Thor finished, letting Thor’s tale sink in.

“I...I will renounce the throne once father awaken” Thor said. “Let Baldur have it. Asgard deserves better”

“There is no need for that” Frigga said.

“But wh-”

“Listen my child” She reached to touch Thor’s cheek. “It has always been your curse that you only see the best in those you love and the worst in those you do not”

“...”

“Nothing is black and white or good and evil...but you never understood this”

“...”

“This darkness... it does not necessarily have to be a bad thing if you could only learn to put a leash to it. Think about it”

Thor looked uncertain, but nodded nonetheless.

Frigga’s eyes softened. “Nonetheless I will see what I can do about it”

“Thank you”

 

 

* * *

     

 

Sword clashed against sword, Sif swung her sword down, missing Hogun. And the next thing she knew Hogun was behind her. With a cry of fury she turned, baring her teeth; swinging, her sword clashing once again with Hogun. Sparks flew.

“Wow! That was something” Fandral clapped from the side.

“Not good enough” Sif let out a growl, shoving Hogun back.

“Someone doesn’t seem too happy”

Sif shot Fandral a glare.

Of course she isn’t  _happy._  With the rumour that had gone around, that Thor was bedding the Jotun scum! How could she be happy?!

She isn’t jealous. Nor did she wish for it to have been her. She was the one who refused Thor to ever come to her bed again. She could not stand what the other warriors said. That she is a whore, servicing Thor so that she could join his ranks.

Truth, she wouldn’t have minded if it were any other maiden. Hel, she wouldn’t have minded if it were another man! But a Jotun?

The warriors now mocked that she was so terrible that even a beast could best her.

“Your turn Fandral! Get into position” Sif hissed.

“We have company” Hogun said.

Sif turns to see the Jotun prowling towards them.

Perfect! Just bloody perfect! Is Loki here to rub it in her face too?!

“What?” Sif bit out.

“May I join in?” Loki asked.

“If you have a dead wish” Sif sneered. There is no way she could back down. If she did, the other warriors would mock her some more. That she feared the beast.

“Uh...Sif?” Fandral hesitated. He didn’t like where this was going.

Wouldn’t this be a very good opportunity for the Jotun to  _accidentally_ slice their throats open?

“Worry not, I can care for myself” She said.

“You may join in if you wish” Loki told Fandral.

“There is no need” Sif cuts in before Fandral could say a word; taking her stand as long ice blades bloomed from both Loki’s cerulean hands.

There were chorus of mummers and people were starting to pile around the ring. Some warriors were laughing about women’s quarrel over Thor’s cock, while others jeered at the  _ergi_ Jotun and what not.

Fandral looked between them uncertainly. 

Sif looked ready to kill and Loki...well...he couldn’t read enough through the beast’s cool mask to say anything for sure. But with all the insults and the word _ergi_  that had been flying all day, Loki could not be very please.

Fandral shifted back towards the outer ring with Hogun. “I'm getting Thor” Fandral said.

“I suggest you hurry"

“Just make sure they are alive when we get here!” With that Fandral disappeared into the crowd.

Sif charged as Loki let out a battle cry swinging his ice blades. Metal clashed against ice.


	7. Imperfection

Loki was fast, what he lacked in brute strength he had always more than made up for in speed.

The crowd cheered and jeered as weapons clashed furiously.

It did not take long for Sif to note that Loki was becoming more and more reckless as the fight progress. Where Loki would have dodged he met it head on; striking Sif with fury as if he meant to splinter her sword.

With a cry Loki kicked out, slamming against Sif’s guts, sending her stumbling back.

She panted, blood still streaming from her broken nose; her hand ached, her fierce eyes never left the Jotun as Loki prowled around her as if a predator stalking its prey. The sharp tip of his blade scraped the earth.

 _“What are you playing at Jotun?”_ Sif wondered.

This was not Loki’s style. At least not from what she had seen and heard. There are many times Loki could have best her, sliced her throat or stabbed her through the chest. But he had not. And where he would have dodge he met her head on, breaking his ice blade twice so far. He was more physical too, smashing his elbow into her face, breaking her nose.

She wondered if he was just letting off some steam. She hoped that was it.

Loki smirked; he liked this Sif more and more. She is fierce and brilliant.

He had watched her many times before. Watch how she struggled to rise above all in the world of men. He had watched as she held her head high to jeers and insults; fought with blood and sweat for respect that would never be hers because she is female. So much like himself… But unlike him, she will never get anywhere, she would never be accepted in the place of power she deserves no matter how much she fight.

Loki licked his lips. He could hear Thor shoving and shouting his way through the mess of cheering crowd.

Perfect…

He threw one blade away, he didn’t need two.

 _“Show them…and let them fear you my dear…”_ Loki hissed; with a swish of his blade he charged at her.

He sees it all, predicted all her move as the sword sliced through the air.

Loki leaped over Sif, twisting his body through the air as he danced from the attack, landing on his feet. He swung his ice blade as Sif turned, clashing her metal against ice, breaking it. The edge of her sword stopped against the side of Loki’s neck, drawing blood.

The stand erupted in cheers.

“Not bad…” Loki smirked.

“Enough!” Thor roared.

At once Sif backed away, looking intently at Loki before turning to her friends.

“Thor…” She muttered.

Thor, Fandral and Hogun were rushing towards them, or rather Sif.

“Oh Sif…” Thor whispered when he saw her broken nose and disheveled hair.

He reached out but not daring to touch her. She would take offence that Thor thought her weak.

“Wipe that worry expression off your face. The match is over” She said, wiping the blood with her slender fingers.

Thor tensed. Only then did he realize how the cheering and hissing had become a chorus of mummers and pointing. Thor looked at Loki who remained as cold and aloof as ever. His expression betraying nothing.

“They are taking bets as to who you came in such haste to defend...” Hogun whispered to Thor.

Thor knew that, he had heard them. Defending Sif would surely earn him a world of pain after this. Defending Loki on the other hand would put his credibility as king in question and possibly another world of headache to deal with.

“This has been a well fought match” Thor declared. “A friendly spar between an Aesir and Jotun. Such a thing has never been done before. It would be blasphemy for it to be forgotten. Let it not be said that Aesir seek only to kill our defeated enemies” He beamed.

The crowd cheered in agreement.

Loki flared expectedly. At once Thor seizes Loki’s wrist, holding it down.

Loki hissed, turning to glare at Thor who ignored him.

“In tribute to such an honorable match, let there be a celebration! A feast tonight!” Thor declared.

The stand exploded in applauds. If there was anything an Aesir love more than hunting and war, it was a feast.

“Let go!” Loki snarled, wrenching his wrist free. Before Thor could stop him, he was already stalking away.

Thor heaved a sigh; he will not be seen running after a Jotun. He turned to regard his friends.

“Sif”

Sif raised her bloody hand at once, stopping Thor.

“I'm fine. You need to watch him. He is up to something”

Thor snorted.

“Of course he is up to something. That’s why he lingers”

"Aye..." She snatches the cloth Fandral handed to her, pressing it painfully against her bleeding nose.

Thor beamed suddenly.

“You won! I do not recall any other warrior in Asgard that had managed to subdue him aside from me! It was well foug-”

“He lets me win” Sif said.

Thor frowned. Loki? The Jotun who has as an ego the size of Asgard? Highly unlikely.

“You are too modest” Thor said.

“No. That ice blade, on the last strike… it broke so much easier than before”

“Perhaps he was tired. Perhaps he was too drained to hold his seid”

Sif scowled at Thor’s denseness in anything that is seid.

“He is Jotun. They do not run out of ability to make ice” Sif said. “There is a reason why Aesir sought to tame the Jotuns until the Allfather forbid it. It is said that to tame one, is to hold winter in the palm of your hands”

“…”

“Jotuns are said to be winter made flesh”

“Oh…”

“And _… defeated enemies_?! Truly Thor?!” Sif said in incredulity. “Do you enjoy his mayhem?!”

“What was I suppose to say?!”

“You were certainly skilled enough with words to get him into your bed” Fandral chipped in. “Perhaps it’s time to use that skill again my friend. I do not enjoy itching at all hours of the day. Goodness, no women looked at me all that week”

“And I do enjoy my wine staying as wine tonight” Hogun added.

“You would have your King bow so you could have women and wine?!” Thor asked, feinting shock.

“Yes” Fandral and Hogun said in unison

“You traitors!”

“There is only so much we would give up for you, my King and friend” Fandral smiled. “We may pledge to you our lives, but not our women and wine”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thor’s councilmen stood by his side whispering among each other. A shivering old man was briefing Thor on the latest development.

“These are where their troops had been spotted. They are all moving back towards the ice city. All defenses on the far side have been recalled, all defense post abandoned…”

Thor nodded.

There were several red flags pinned all over the great map of Jotunheim sprawled across the table, pinpointing where Heimdall had last seen the Jotun armies.

He was struggling; the beast in him stirring again as he forced himself to focus on what his councilmen was saying. If not, he was focusing on the whispering cheers and roars down at the feasting hall.

He had left the celebration the moment Loki wandered away from the hall. He wondered what Loki was doing. Which hall was he sneaking around at this moment.

He shook his head, holding onto his sane mind as the beast lusted for war, lusted for blood and power. At least that was what it felt like.

A part of his mind was screaming that they should strike, destroy Jotunheim, crush them, conquer them, enslaved them so that they will never dare rise against Asgard again. And teach them this lesson they will never forget as they kneel at his feet! That part of him was angry, vengeful, selfish and utterly without mercy, demanding slights to be paid by blood!

Then there was another part of him that knew it was all wrong. He could not enslave an entire race!

“We should strike them! Show them who we are!” Said the man at his side.

Exactly! The beast shouted.

Thor almost opened his mouth to agree before he caught himself. He tightened his jaws, least he court a war.

This fragment of Loki… he thinks he understands it a little. Loki would not have desired the destruction of Jotunheim. That he was certain.

So these dark thoughts… That stain was not truly feeding him Loki’s thoughts; it was feeding him Loki’s personality. It was fueling him with darkness, rage and spite and perhaps more than anything, the lust for power and glory; amplifying the darkness that was innately in him until it felt like a distinct part of himself; as if he had two minds.

It reminded him of the Midgardian tale of Jekyll and Hyde. 

The meeting went throughout the night and by the end of it Thor’s head was pounding.

Two thoughts screaming at him; constantly changing, mixing and flickering from one to the other so much he had to focus before he speaks least he utter the wrong suggestion. Truth, after several hours, he could barely tell which opinions were his and which was the beast’s.

He heaved a sigh. In the end, there were still unanswered questions.

 _“Why are they preparing for war on their land…?”_ Thor frowned. “ _What are you planning Loki…?”_

He had been convinced that the Jotuns will bring the war to Asgard, Loki being the key to opening the way; but it seem that they are preparing for an invasion.

Why?

Asgard will not strike if Loki remains. Then it must mean Loki wishes to leave and they are preparing for it. It would make sense; but what did not was that, if they had wanted the casket so badly, a negotiation could have been struck. The Jotuns know it.

So why risk it all? There must be something else...

“For now, keep watch on them” Thor said.

They all nodded in agreement.

“Your grace… would meetings be of this hour from now on?” asked one.

“We must think of a more permanent solution. We do not have feast everyday for distraction” said the other.

“We could” Thor said. “I seem to recall Loki suggesting a tournament along with the prospect of seeking a wife”

There was a chorus of murmurs of disapproval and jeers.

Bidding to a Jotun’s idea?!

Preposterous!

Why should they?!

“With the two combine, we would have feast every night for at least a month” Thor said.

“We should not bend to the beast’s will!” A man protested. “Why should we fear the beast in our own homes?!”

The councilmen nodded in agreement.

“The monster would triumph if we listen to him!” Roared another.

“Are we cowards?! This is our realm and yet we accommodate to the whims of that animal!” A hand slammed down on the table.

“Your father would never heed the command of a beast!” Another shouted.

Frigga could see that Thor was struggling again.

“Your father would never have allowed this nonsense to go on for so long!”

Usually Thor would have conceded to the council’s will at once at the mention of _‘your father’,_ but not this time. She had been watching Thor all night. She had seen it so often in the pass hours it was obvious to her by now. The internal fight. The shifting and flickering in conscious as Thor closes his eyes.

“The filthy creature will not command us!”

 _“Learn the balance Thor…”_ Frigga watched him intently, not even listening to the senseless gripe any longer.

“That mons-”

“Silence!” Thor roared suddenly, authority in his voice.

There was silence, as the councilmen looked at Thor in shock. Why was Thor not agreeing this time?!

Frigga watched him closely. There was fierceness in his eyes and darkness about him that should not be trifled with that was not there in the few times the beast had won out in the last few hours.

Interesting…

“I did not ask your opinion” Thor said.

“Your father will not sta-”

“I am not my father!” Thor spat, glaring at the shocked man.

Anger, rage was pouring through him in torrent, bombarding him from every direction. How dare they speak against him?!

 _His father, his father_ … it makes him sick!

“You may advice me on decisions. But you will not threaten me to heed it! I am the King now! Not my father!” He snarled.

His men were all staring at him in bewilderment and disbelief. Where did this confidence and insolence come from?! Unforgivable!

“We will have this event as I command it” Thor said.

The council murmured angrily among themselves. Where Thor would have been distress over upsetting the councilmen, he seem indifferent and in control.

“My mother would send out the invites to the royal families and the nobles for their daughters” Thor nodded to Frigga.

“Yes my King” She smiles as Thor spread the task, ignoring the nonsensical grumbles and complains.

“We will have the council as usual in the day. But make no mention of what was spoken here” Thor commanded.

When all was said and done, the councilmen left in a huff, shutting the door behind them grudgingly.

Unforgivable! Inexcusable!

Such insolence from a boy!

Odin would not have bent the knee to the monster’s whim! Odin would have put a stop all these nonsense long ago!

Thor slumped down on his seat at once. He was shaking.

Oh Norns…what had he done.

He wiped his hand down his face in frustration and distress. His conscious had screamed through, stemming that uncontrolled mass of anger from taking over his mind when he was delegating the duties. But it was too late then to take back what he said.

“You did well” Frigga said.

Thor looked at her as if she had gone mad. “I anger them! I took no considerations of their views! That is not how fath-”

“Your father would have been proud” She said firmly.

Thor frowned.

She smiles, putting a hand over Thor’s shoulder gently. “I know you do not believe me Thor, but it is true”

“Thanks…I only need to rely on the beast in me to make father proud”

“Good night” Frigga ignores Thor’s grumbles. “You have a long day starting tomorrow”

Thor looked at her confused.

“Have you forgotten the tradition?” She asked.

“…”

“That the warriors would hunt for the meat on the tournament’s feasting table. This is going to be a long event. You boys would be hunting for at least three weeks. You would need to start planning it seeing as you would leave next week”

Thor perked up at that. He hadn’t hunted in ages. Frigga laughed at how child-like Thor was even at his age.

“Oh…and take Loki with you” She added.

What?! Thor stilled.

“Mother…”

“Take him. I will not deal with his mischief and he would most certainly be offended to be left behind with the women”

“And how am I to hunt if I am to make sure he wasn’t _accidentally_ hunted himself?!”

“Take him by your side”

“Right… And put him in my tent too…” Thor mumbled sarcastically.

“Exactly”

Thor groaned.

“You’ve bedded him. It should not be a problem to just lie beside him” Frigga said.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki let out a shout as he blasted a ball of emerald flames at the metallic target, burning it to crisps. Then without stopping he blasted another and another and another in burning vengeance. His long midnight locks trickled over his icy body. Then with a few choice words the fire grew to enormous height and it became alive. Emerald flames flickered in the shape of a mighty serpent, heeding to Loki’s command.

“Burn them all…” Loki hissed.

With a wave of his hand the serpent slithered and rushed towards the five dozen metallic targets that were left intact. It opened its great fiery mouth and swallowed them all in burning flames as it slithered from one to another, burning everything it trampled upon until there was none left.

Loki let out a dark chuckled as he watched the targets burn in all its decaying glory, imagining them to be the Aesir warriors, the Jotuns who looked down upon him, those cursed Norns and Yggdrasil herself!

A _defeated enemy_ , Thor called him. He should thank Thor. Oh he should...

For reminding him of the failure that he is, as he had been reminded in his every waking, breathing moment. As he had been reminded every time he looked upon his reflection and sees the pathetic shape he took!

He is a failure to his own people. He is a failure as a dam and a sire; he is a failure and a monstrosity in all the eyes of Yggdrasil!

He had met the Norns once a long time ago when he was still a wide eyed innocent child. A wide eyed innocent child that weeps in the night at his own failings and short comings. He had seen the terrible fate the Norns weaved for him that time, and understood that to be Loki is to be fated lose. To be Loki is to destroy everything he had ever held in his hand. To be Loki is to be alone, hated and reviled. Destiny itself, the architect of his torment.

He remembers weeping in anguish at his terrible fate.

 _Why?_   He had wept. Until he found anger and desperation… And since then, he never looked back. Since then, he had stood with his back straight and proud.

You see, anger and desperation is power. In anger and desperation there is nothing he would not do or could not do. After all… he had nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

He will be the God that will rain down chaos and wrath in the name of fate. Who will commit the impossible, and defy all destiny fate had ruthlessly carved upon him. He is Loki of Jotunheim, Loki silvertongue, the father of death and the mother of monsters, who will turn worlds into ash and uproot even Yggdrasil herself if that was what it takes to rise.

He will show the Norns, he will show fate that he will never yield to their cruel design! That they have not a single hold on him...

So really… he should thank Thor for reminding him so plainly that he should yield, just as fate would have him do. It’d make it all the sweeter when he crushes Asgard.

The fire serpent crackled as it circled Loki, as if it meant to swallow him too. Its head shifting and moving predatorily.

 _“Recede”_ Loki hissed.

The serpent vanished leaving him a barren courtyard on fire. The targets were burning, the earth was burning; everything about him was burning, as Asgard would be in time.

There was a crunched behind him. Loki did not need to turn to know who it was.

“Impressive” Thor said, moving towards Loki.

In all his years, in all his travels, he had never seen such powerful display of sorcery. And he was once again, reminded of that fierce fiery creature that had blasted through several of the palace’s wall and stole their treasure not so long ago. He was reminded once again of the fascination and shameful thrill he had felt as he had watched this creature battled his warriors without a hint of fear. The fire in his scarlet eyes, the fierceness in his expression and every edge of his lean body…

“Has the feast ended already? Have enough of drinking Odinson?” Loki regarded Thor coldly as Thor shifted to stand before him.

He watched the expression is those cerulean eyes that seem to flicker between one conscious and the other even as Thor smiles at him.

 _“Fool”_ Loki thought.

The more vigorously Thor denies his other half, the more it would struggle and fight into existence or until it explodes, swallowing all of Thor’s conscious.

“Why are you here?” Loki asked, watching him carefully.

Thor hesitated, shaking his head a little as if it would shake the beast out of his mind.

“Loki I…” Thor started. “I apologize for my earlier words”

“Why?”

“What do you me-”

“Why apologize? Did you lie, Odinson?”

“No! How dare you spe-” Thor caught his tongue.

Loki said nothing as Thor took in a deep breath, wiping a hand down his face in frustration.

Thor groaned. It had been getting increasingly harder to concentrate as the day ticks by. But now, when he was so close to Loki, it was almost unbearable. And for the first time in so long… he felt fear.

What if he loses his mind before his father wakes? What wars or horrors would he plunge Asgard into?!

“I…I’m sorry” Thor said. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me”

Loki snorted. He doubts Thor really did not know.

“So why are you here?” Loki asked again.

Thor opened his mouth to speak then shut it again.

Loki could tell that he was struggling, that he was afraid. He resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

If there was anyone Thor could just let go around it would be around Loki.

What could Loki do even if Thor hurt him? Nothing.

A true fool this one is, Loki thought. Not knowing when to take advantage.

“Thor…you are making it worst”

“Then what do you want me to do?!” Thor bellowed suddenly. “Would you have me to hurt you?!”

“Why do you fear it so much?” Loki asked.

“What?!” Thor shouted as if, if he was loud enough, he would somehow drown out the dark thoughts in his mind.

Loki looked at him intently. The other side of Thor that was growing stronger by the day. And the more Thor fights it, the more terrible it would become. 

The plan was that Thor would lose control, and when he had lost it, Loki would appear before him as the balm. He would appear as a friend that would sooth him, comfort him, and tame the fearsome _beast_ in Thor. That was why he came to Thor last night. So that Thor would have a taste of his clear mind once again in the morning and know that Loki is his answer.

But...all would be for naught if even he could not bear Thor. And Loki would be lying if he says that he did not fear the true unseen face of Thor that sleeps beneath that golden facade.

Loki reached out, his cerulean skin seeped away to give way to his Aesir flesh as he cups Thor’s flushed face tenderly between his fair hands. His thumb stroked Thor’s sweaty cheeks.

Thor stilled. His skin tingled, and there was a stirring in him.

No!

“Thor. There is no one here but me…” Loki whispered. “Just me”

“…”

“Let go. Do not fight it”

“I will hurt you”

“You won’t” Loki said, shifting closer. “As of now, only I see you”

“Why are you doing this?”

“Would you rather I did not?”

“Loki…” There was a yearning in his voice that shamed him. Oh how he had fallen he thought in rising frustration.

“I am the mother of monsters. And you are my monster”

Thor tightened his jaws. “You put me in this state. What have you to achieve by helping me trickster?” He gritted.

“I’m just being generous”

“You are incapable of generosity!”

“Oh?” Loki grinned. “Then perhaps this is another debt I will have you pay in time”

“Create demand and supply hm?” Thor said in disgust.

“Brilliant man”

With a growl, Thor tugged Loki to him, his arms circled the smaller.

“You will regret this” Thor said.

Loki laughs as Thor leans down.

Their breath mixed. Loki licks his lips. His heart fluttered in thrills of excitement; remembering the insurmountable strength those arms had held him last night. Oh…He loves to court danger.  

 

 

* * *

 

 

The ivory moon shone over the smoking courtyard of ash. Thor sat on the ground as his mind cleared. He hadn’t taken Loki this time. At least he had more restraint than to just take that Jotun out here where anyone could walk by.

All they had done was kissed and make-out for Norns know how long, but it was enough for now to calm the beast.

Love marks littered all over Loki’s neck and shoulders, but he didn’t seem to care in the slightest.

“Good night Odinson” Loki stood up, meaning to leave as Thor reached to curl his fingers over Loki’s wrist, halting him.

Loki stilled.

“Thank you” Thor said.

“Not going to call me an _ergi_ this time?”

“I apologize for that”

Loki snorted, wrenching his wrist free. “You will not need me so often if you do not suppress your urges so much”

Thor nodded. There is something he wanted to ask. Needed to know.

“Loki. What will become of me…?” He whispered.

Loki was silent for a moment as if he was thinking whether he should indulged Thor. Thor looked up upon him.

“Tell me…” Thor said.

“Nothing” Loki knelt down slowly before the king.

There was a stab of sadness in those brilliant emerald eyes that Thor had never seen. But a sadness that was not directed to Thor. At least Thor didn’t think so. And it was gone as soon as it appears.

“You are still Thor. And you will ever be Thor Odinson. The beloved Golden Prince and King of Asgard”

And that is the truth.

Loki’s essence is darkness, while Thor is light, and as such, his nature clings to the darkness that innately exists in Thor. Or rather, the _beast_ in Thor… feeding and fueling it till it threatens to consume all the _‘goodness’_ that is Thor.

But that fragment aside from making Thor crave him, aside from making Thor more attune to him, it cannot make Thor do what Thor had not first been guilty of wanting to do or subconsciously craving for it. And it cannot make Thor think what Thor had not at least shamefully thought before in his moment of weakness or anger and quickly tucked it away in the most intimate part of his mind out of disgrace.

Put it simply, that morsel merely magnifies the shadows that had already existed.

That was why he had been so surprise at such a vast change in Thor’s character. Who knew that even the Golden King would have these stains in him.

Thor is not as perfect as everyone thinks him to be.

Thor watched as Loki stood up and walked away from him. His Aesir skin seeping away as cerulean rushed over fair flesh.

He watched as the silver ray of the moon poured over the Jotun, shimmering off the gems in his long midnight locks and the gold that curled about his horns. The gold and silver chains that hung about his hips clinked. His back was straight and he held his head high, not a single hesitation in his step.

Loki…a creature that dances on the fault-line of insanity and greatness. He is strong, yet brittle. He is there, yet he is not. There is so much more to Loki than meets the eye.

Thor felt a yearning in him…a want to not just dominate this creature, but to see him in all his vulnerability and flaws; and to hold them all in the palm of his hands.

For the first time, Thor thought Loki is beautiful.

But a beauty that is hard to fix or for eyes to see…like the wind that blows the trees and hurries the clouds. He is the beauty of the shapeless flame, the beauty of the rushing mass of the waterfall and the beauty of lightning streaking through the sky. His beauty is in the moment, but once you see it, you will always search for it.


	8. Serpent in the House of Odin

Loki was back again, watching the warriors train from his lofty height. He convinced himself that he was only doing this to watch their style of fighting and to learn their weaknesses. Not to watch for anyone in particular. He leaned against the stone balcony, his eyes wondered back once again towards Sif as it always did when he watches.

There is fire in her eyes, fierce cunning and wit. She has the courage of a thousand warriors, swiftness of a coursing river and the strength of a raging fire. She is beautiful in all her fears and imperfection. She is the Goddess of War in his eyes.

He watched as sparks flew from the clash of merciless metal. Her opponent was a chauvinistic pig that could only see her as a joke, mocking her with every clash of metal. His friends were jeering and laughing with every swing of her sword.

“Come on baby, what was that? Trying to hit a fly or something?” The man laughed, dodging Sif’s attack; he slaps her ass as he passed.

“Pig…” Loki sneered.

He waited for Sif to swing back and he whispered choice words under his breath. At once, the man’s sword weighted a thousand stones and he could not lift it. In that split of a second Sif sliced through the air and cut him across his armor and with a mighty kick she knocks the man off his feet.

Loki chuckled at the bewildered man. His friends were silent at once, gapping as if they couldn’t believe a woman could wield a sword. As if they couldn’t believe a woman could do anything outside the kitchen.

With a wave of Loki’s hand he vanquished the spell before anyone could attempt to pick up the fallen sword.    

 

 

* * *

 

 

A storm brewed beyond the icy fortress, beating harshly against the sturdy structure. Laufey stood silently in the darkened chamber; his scarlet eyes studied the miniature landscape of Jotunheim that sprawled over the entire table. He walked silently over to the other end, letting his fingers ran idly over the edge of the icy structure. Helblindi followed him, watching him intently for signs of anger or displeasure at the bit of information he had just told.

“We need their aid dam” Helblindi pushed on. 

“And what more has Loki planned behind my back?” Laufey rasped.

“There is no more”

At that, Laufey let out a humorless chuckle. Making a bargain with the Dark Elves in exchange for their armies cannot be all that Loki had done behind his back.

“And what would the Dark Elves have to gain from this _generosity_?” Laufey asked. “What have your brother offer them in return?”

“They crave Asgardian blood”

“Yes, but this is our war. They are sly creatures Helblindi. We would be spilling Asgardian blood soon enough. They may not be cowards, but they are not the sort to get their hands dirty if there is no reason for it”

“…”

“So tell me really, what else has your brother promised them?” Laufey turns to regard his second born for the first time.

Helblindi stilled at the cold cunning behind Laufey’s scarlet eyes. 

“Tell me Helblindi, what more has Loki promised with that forked tongue of his?”

Helblindi shifted uncomfortably. He didn’t know how much he was to tell Laufey. Loki had wanted to keep their dam in the dark so that it would be much easier to manipulate their dam for Jotunheim’s sake; or so Loki says.  For all Laufey’s love for Loki, Laufey will never be his pawn. He may burn worlds for Loki, he may send thousands to their death for Loki, but he will do them all on his own volition. He will strike when he desires it, when he wills it.

Would Laufey refuse this army to spite Loki? To remind him who is still the King of Jotunheim?

“I know you love your brother” Laufey rasped.

Hellindi blinked at that oddly sentimental statement that seems so out of place.

“I know you would willingly dance to the songs he plays” He sounded suddenly tired and old. “But you cannot expect me to willingly be his puppet on strings”

“Why not?! He has the mind; he has the cunnings to haul Jotunheim out of this…this decadent _state_! He could return Jotunheim to its former glory that you have failed to do!” Helbindi blurted before he could stop himself. He tensed at once when he realized what he had just said. It was treason!

Laufey straightened up, his expression unreadable.

“Is that what he told you?” Laufey asked. “That I am a failure. That I brought Jotunheim to this decadent waste?”

“You lost the war you started…” Helblindi mumbled.

“So I did” Laufey said coldly. “But I have learned from it”

“…”

“This time it is not I that threaten to plunge us into another war that could end us all! That could destroy what is left of Jotunheim” Laufey hissed.

When Helblindi remained silent, Laufey growled in anger.

“How can you stand to watch Jotunheim crumble? To watch it hurl to its inevitable destruction?!” Laufey rounded towards Helblindi. “Look at us! Do you think we can bare another war?!”

“No…that’s why we need this army”

“And then what?” Laufey asked. “You think this army is so formidable that victory will surely be ours? And even so, crops and buildings would be destroyed and thousands of lives would be lost! How long to do you think it would take for us to rebuild it all? Decades? Centuries? You speak of former glory but what have you wrought but inevitable destruction and death?!”

Helblindi lowered his gaze. He did not know what to say. Loki had made it all sound so simple. 

Laufey hissed.

“When the high lords play their game of thrones, it is the people that suffer.  It is the people that starve and their children that dies”

“…”

“Loki may not see it, but I do”

“…”

“Now get out” Laufey snarled, turning back to the map on the table.

Helblindi watched Laufey for a moment, shifting uncomfortably before he spoke.

“So the Dark El-”

“I will not deal with them until I know what Loki has promised”

“You know we need them”

 _“And so do you”_ Laufey felt a smirk tugged at the edge of his lips. He's got him. "I will take my chances. I will not deal with that which I do not know" Laufey said.

Helblindi has always been easy to manipulate. Wearing his emotions on his sleeve is his greatest gift and most critical flaw. Laufey waited for Helblindi to speak. He knows Helblindi will, and Helblindi did.

“Loki means to take this war to Asgard…” Helblindi started. “And when we win...the treasures of Asgard will be split, but the people, the realm...they will be ours”

Laufey stilled at once at Helblindi’s words. His blood ran cold as everything clicked into place.

 _“Norns…Loki wished to conquer Asgard…”_ Laufey could barely speak.

Hel! What madness is this?! Even in his madness in his glory days, the notion of conquering that golden realm had never even crossed his mind. It was impossible! A death wish! Asgard with all her richness stayed unconquered for a reason!

He turned at once to regard Helblindi, his eyes flashing dangerously.

“Are you mad to go along with this scheme?!” Laufey bellowed.

 

 

* * *

 

The capital of Asgard was bustling with life as the burning sun shone over the Golden realm in all its glory. Even in his Aesir form, Loki thought that it was too bright, too hot and too stuffy. Surrounded my big stinking sweaty warriors he immediately regretted his decision to leave the palace with Thor and his _minions,_  as he liked to call them.

They were to get provisions for their hunt. He couldn’t understand why someone of Thor’s status would even bother getting his own provisions. Couldn’t he have just commanded it?

He tightened his jaws as he shot a glare at Thor. They were all clad in black robes and hoods to conceal their identity. Thor did not want special treatment. Something Loki could not understand. Perhaps the heat had fried what little brain cells the Aesir had to begin with.

“So sweet thing, how do you find Asgard? I could show you a good time if you would allow me” Fandral winked from his side.

“Animal” Loki sneered.

Fandral imitated a growl and snapped his teeth teasingly. Volstagg and Thor roared in laughter at the exchange.

“Friend, you would bed anything that walks” Volstagg gave Fandral a good slap on his back.

“What can I say, I know beauty when I see it” Fandral said proudly, his hand shifted to grab Loki’s ass.

Loki hissed, lashing out he backhanded Fandral. Fandral accepted it with a smile.

“Pig!” Loki spat, breaking off from the group.

They laughed.

Loki lengthened his stride to catch up to Sif who was slightly ahead. He had been trying to get close to her since the beginning. But Thor’s minions were nothing if not insistent, clinging around him.

Sif raised her brows.

“Too vulgar for your taste little prince?” She mocked.

“I have no wish to associate with savages and animals”

“And what am I? Am I not the daughter of savages too?”

Loki snorted. “You are different”

“…”

“I watch you train…I watch you fight” He said truthfully. “You are not without fear, you are not without doubt. You doubt yourself sometimes, you fear you would be ridiculed and mocked, you fear you had made a grave mistake in choosing this path… but you keep at it even when it seems the world would have you kneel. And to me, that is courage. Not foolishness as Aesir men would have you believe”

“…”

“My dearest Sif, you are strength, fire, wit, valor and honor” His fingers brushed over the back of Sif’s hand, startling her. He smiles. “Have you never felt the touch of a man? Though I must admit, I am no man…but close enough, no?”

“What?”

“You are beautiful in all your strength that they can never understand, that they can never see out of fear. But I see you. And I will tell you this, there is no maiden more fair or more worthy to be called my Queen” Loki shifted closer, his shoulder brushing slightly against her.

Sif stilled. What?! Was he flirting with her?! First Loki let her best him in a match and now this?! What was Loki playing at?! She did not believe for a moment that Loki’s interest could be genuine or innocent. Why would any man desire to court her when they could not even accept her decision to abandon the knitting needle for a sword? And she wasn’t particularly beautiful, with hair the color of night rather than the golden locks that Aesir’s are so proud of.

“Stay away from me” She hissed, turning away.

“I speak the truth”

“…”

“I do think you are beautif- ” The words were still upon Loki's tongue when suddenly, strong fingers clamped over his upper arm and he was wrenched back.

Sif’s eyes widened.

“Th-or?” She said uncertainly.

Loki looked over at the king with a sort of amusement. Though Thor was smiling, the muscles around his jaw were too tense, the fingers on Loki’s arm too tight and hard.

“What’s going on?” The warrior three came trotting.

“Why did you suddenly leave?” Fandral asked.

“Ah, I just remember that I have to show Loki something” Thor said.

Loki could hear a slight tremor in his voice as if he were resisting the urge to spit at his _friends._ He smirked.

“I do wish to see this weapon merchant you Aesir boast of” Loki said loudly.

“I will take you there later!” Thor snapped. That damn smile still plastered over Thor’s face. “You need to have an armor fitted” he declared. 

Before anyone could say a thing, Thor was already dragging Loki down the busy street, leaving the warrior three staring dumbly.

Sif said nothing, deep in thoughts as she watched Loki’s disappearing back. She did not trust the Jotun monster in Aesir skin one bit. If Loki thought she was a maiden that would be easily wooed by flattery, he was going to be in for a nasty surprise when he finally shows his true face.

As for Thor, she is not blind. She had seen the way Thor looked at Loki whenever the Jotun was in the room. Those cerulean eyes watches, they are always watching. They watch Loki as if a bird of prey, filled with lust, passion and something Sif had never seen before. She couldn’t put a name to it. It wasn’t dark, but it was raw and primal. And the rumors… she has no doubt that they were true.

Thor was at the moment pretty much blind to everything that is Loki. Then again, he was a man and man tends to think more with their cocks than their heads.

She straightened up.

“Come on you three” Sif ordered. “Get a move on”

Perhaps she would play Loki’s game after all. Let him underestimate her, let him think flattery would get him everywhere. And perhaps this whole mess could be ended with the least bloodshed.

For all Thor’s love for her, Thor is still an Asgardian man. Thor may not tell her as he had surely told the warrior three because she is a woman, but she knows that a war is brewing. 

 

 

* * *

 

Blood pounded in Thor’s ears, anger roared in his blood like a beast as he dragged Loki down the bustling street, not caring if he was hurting him or not with his grip. He did not even look at Loki. His eyes darting and searching for an empty alley and the first he saw, he hauled the wretched beast in with him.

“Hey!” Loki protested, stumbling slightly over the jagged ground.

With a growl, Thor slams Loki hard against the brick wall. His fingers shifted at once to tighten over both of Loki’s arms, pinning the trickster with his back against solid.

Anger flashed across Loki’s emerald eyes, disappearing as fast as they appeared. A grin broke across his lips.

“Is something the matter your Grace?” Loki asked.

“What are you playing at?” Thor growled.

His chest heaved in fury. He did not believe; he refused to believe that Loki could be even mildly interested in Sif. He saw red when he heard Loki called Sif his Queen. The anger was like a plague, spreading through him like wildfire, devouring all his senses until there was nothing but selfishness, resentment and bitterness.

“You stay away from Sif! Do you hear me?!” Thor spat.

Loki clicked his tongue.

“Ah… jealousy…” Loki grinned. “Jealousy is an ugly thing”

It took all of Thor not just backhand Loki right then and there. He released the trickster brutally, taking a step back.

“I am warning you trickster, touch her again and I will break your hand”

Loki let out a chuckle, stepping closer. “What’s the matter? Can’t take a little competition?” Loki lid a hand over Thor’s armored chest.

Loki couldn’t help but want to laugh at Thor obvious jealousy. Who would think that the almighty Thor would be so shaken by a little competition? Oh…there was something so so thrilling to be looked at with such heated intensity, such fierce and feral gaze, looking only at him. The raw power radiating off the God…oh… it was like an aphoristic.

“There is no competition” Thor gritted.

“Ah. Then what have you to fear?”

“Unfaithfulness”

Loki smirks At least Thor knows that everyone has a price.

“Perhaps you are not as hopeless as I thought you to be” He turns to leave when Thor’s fingers flew out to grab Loki’s arm, halting him.

Thor was silent even as Loki turned to regard him coldly. Loki saw that the anger had calmed to be replaced by shame in those sharp cerulean eyes.

“I…” Thor did not know what to say.

He did not know what is real anymore or simply the effect of that wretched thing in him. The jealousy and resentment he had felt for Sif a moment ago was like nothing he had ever felt before. He had wanted to strike her, shove her back and spit at her face. And it terrifies him more than anything. His thoughts that have ceaselessly flicker, change and morph, two voices whispering in his mind was slowly merging till they become one.

Norns…What will become of him?  

“I…I apologize” Thor murmured.

Loki jerked his arm free from the loosened hold, looking at Thor with a strange expression on his face.

“Let’s…get you fitted with armor” Thor forced a smile.

Loki said nothing, simply followed Thor out of the alleyway. His emerald gaze never left the Golden King.

 _“Bound by duty and honor since birth, you hide a face behind another face… I wonder if you truly know the man that you are”_ That fragment of him in Thor was cracking that mask of perfection, it was revealing more truth in the man than the realm had ever known, than Thor perhaps had ever know of himself.

Thor is innately flawed. He is selfish, prideful, arrogant and ambitious. But what sets him apart from the rest, is his innate desire to be good, to care for others, to be selfless and noble...

And in understanding this, in dragging the exalted and untouchable Golden King that he loathed, the perfect saintly image of Thor down to a level he could relate to, he found that he no longer spite the King. Instead, he found his eyes wandered to him and his hands ached to reach forth for that flawed man that is perfect in all his imperfection.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“What are your thoughts Lord Thrym?” Laufey asked.

“I serve you my King. And I am yours to command” Thrym rasped; looking up upon Laufey who sat on the throne of steel and ice.

“I do not doubt your loyalty. I ask for your thoughts. So speak it freely”

“Not too freely surely” Thrym snorted.

“That is enough!” Laufey snarled.

He stood up, moving down the step to glower at his General.

Thrym said nothing; his eyes were hard like steel as he watches Laufey intently. Both were creatures hardened by war, destruction  and death. Creatures from a different time.

Thrym knew that Laufey did not trust him, but it matters not. It simply means that the King he serves is no fool. 

“A war is coming” Laufey stood before Thrym. “This is not the time to have your mind ruled by old prejudice”

“You command me to let it go?”

“I command you to let it rest for now. There will be no throne for anyone if we do not win”

“I’ve told you my King…my old friend, I will serve you” Thrym said. “But do not expect me to serve Loki. Do not expect me to fight for him! I will sooner put a stake to his heart than bend the knee to that runt!”

Laufey hissed, baring his teeth. “You are blinded by prejudice! Loki may be a runt but he has proven himself!”

At this Thrym laugh.

“No one hates him for his size, not anymore, even you know it” Thrym said. “It is the things he do, the monstrosity he is capable of doing that he is feared and loathed. That I loathed!”

“…”

“Loki wields magic from the decadent realm of the dead. He dances with death… and even you cannot deny feeling it, the veil that separates him between the living and the dead is so thin he treads on a tightrope. A creature that will pay any price, that will sacrifice even his own child for power, I can think of no sort of creature worst to sit on the throne”

Laufey said nothing. He cannot dispute Thrym on facts. Jotuns are innately magic wielder. They can feel seid and Loki’s is foul.

“He lives only for himself Laufey. And this war he sought, it is not for Jotunheim, it is for his own glory" Thrym growled. "How can you put such a creature on the throne?”

“Thrym…do you love your children?” Laufey asked.

“With all my heart”

“As do I. You cannot expect me to turn from him”

“I don’t. But do not expect me to forgive him. Do not command me to! I will not do it even for you!” Thrym said.

“I do not. But do not abandon me now my friend. I need you” _Even if I do not trust you_ went unsaid.

Thrym smiles. Laufey never needed to ask.  He will never abandon Laufey…his King, his old friend and his once lover.

“I will walk to the end with you my king. My _only_ King” Thrym said.

“Thank you”

Thrym gave a nod. “Take the Elves offer. You have nothing more to lose. That is my thought”

“That is all I need to know”

Thrym bowed. “If I may be excuse”

“You are dismissed”

Thrym turned towards the door. To his dying breath, he will never forgive Loki. Loki killed his unborn child from the womb of his mate with his dark sorcery.

He remembers till this day how his mate had screamed in pain, clutching her belly as dark shadows reached for her. He had burst into the throne room with her unconscious in his arms, wanting to demand help. He had expected to see Laufey only to see Loki sitting upon the throne. There was no mercy, no sympathy or compassion in those scarlet eyes that looked upon him. He had been stunned for a moment.

 _“What’s the matter Lord Thrym, why aren’t you speaking? Was it not your tongue that moves so freely before? Was it not you that mock me so freely before my dam just mere hours ago?”_ Loki had said.

 _“What have you done to my mate? My child!”_ He had roared _._ He will never forget the way Loki grinned at him at his words.

 _“I am merciful. I punish and I will reward. I take and I will give”_ Was all Loki said.

Thrym lost that child but he had many more children than the average Jotuns. He never forgets Loki’s words. He knew Loki took that babe from him and gave him more children than what he would have had. But even so, he will never forgive him.      

 

 

* * *

 

 

The days that dragged towards the hunt were torturous. Pile upon pile of paperwork fell on Thor’s desk. He’d spend three quarter of his nights reading and rushing through documents till he could barely understand the words in front of him anymore, before calling in a night. Attempting to get his councilmen to agree to a little extra preparation was like bleeding a stone.

Truth, being a king was like nothing Thor ever expected once he’d got over the excitement of it. You do not simply command your will be done. A king is someone that sits on his bloody desk by night and his numbing throne by day.

Law is tedious business and diplomacy is worst, not to mention the people of Asgard, there were no end to them, pouring into his hall like flocks of sheep. They complain, complain and complain till Thor’s mind was numb and his ass was raw from sitting on the golden throne. They all want something, money, land, justice and whatever anyone can come up with. And the lies they feed you... there was no ending to it. And his lords and ladies of the court were hardly any better. He is surrounded by flatterers, fools and old stubborn man who would not stop going on about how Odin would have run the kingdom.

And Loki’s blatant interest in Sif made it all the worst.

So many times when he caught Loki’s eyes wondered over to Sif, he had wanted to demand Loki look only at him.

He wanted to haul Loki out of the room and throw him onto the nearest bed. He wanted to take him, to hear his shuddering breath echo in his ears, grappling fingers tearing down his back as teeth dug into his shoulder as he sends the trickster into a world of ecstasy, so that Loki would never forget the man that commands his body. And he wanted more than anything to demand that Loki is his!

What was so interesting about Sif anyway?! Thor couldn’t help but think selfishly.

The more he looked at her the more irritating she seems to become. Her laugh annoys him, her voice irritated him and at the mention of her name, anger burn in his blood. And Loki always seems to know when Thor was watching, and he would turn to look at Thor with a sly grin on his thin lips.

But Thor was good. He tried to be good.

He force a smile whenever Sif was around, he speak to her as if nothing was wrong and he would leave whenever Loki came towards them. He tried… he truly did. 

The last straw came on the eve of the hunt. Loki stole a kiss from Sif right at the dinner table.

At once, thunders clapped, lightning flashed. Something snapped in Thor and he saw red! Before he even knew what he was doing, he was across the table. Blood pounded in his ears. His entire body shook with unrestrained rage and jealousy such that he had never felt.

Loki was his! His mind shrieked with a vengeance.

“Th-or?” Loki said.

Sif’s eyes were wide; her hand darted unconsciously to the hilt of her blade. She had never seen Thor looked like that, and he frightened her.

All eyes were on them, but Thor saw no one, he hears no one, as he hauled Loki right out of his seat and out the dining chamber. He did not care if he was hurting Loki, in fact he wanted to hurt him. To devourer him and to hear him scream for forgiveness!

Servants whispered and cowered in fear as Thor pass the silent halls.

The moment they reach Thor’s chamber, Thor flung the door apart and threw Loki in. Loki turned just to see Thor slams the ornate door shut behind him.

Beneath the darkened chamber, Thor’s cerulean eyes were almost glowing. They were fierce, raw and starkly hungry. Loki’s heart hammered, beating against his chest. His tongue unconsciously slips to wet his dry lips.

Lightning flashed.

Loki had never seen Thor so angry, and it frightened him. But he wasn’t about to let that show.

He grinned. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

He didn’t know Thor fancied Sif so much. But it all worked to his advantage anyway. Anger and jealousy feeding the beast within. Let all of Asgard see, let all of Asgard know the true face beneath, shattering the perfection they so adore.

“I warn you to stay away from her” Thor’s hand shot out to grab Loki by the side of his neck. Not hard, but not gentle either.

Loki stilled. Now would perhaps be the best time for Loki to shut up, but he never did. He had never learned the art of backing down.

“You do not command me” Loki said, as Thor walked him backwards.

His heart hammered, slamming against his rib cage; adrenaline surging through his blood. He can defend himself just alright. He could escape with his seid just fine, but he did not. He was curious as to what Thor would do. He wanted to see… He wanted to see the man Thor truly is. The monster, the beast…

Loki stopped when Thor’s bed hit the back of his legs.

“You stay away from her” Thor said again.

“Why?” Loki challenged. “What are you going to do to me if I refuse? Hit me? Hurt me?”

Thor said nothing. He was breathing heavily, struggling to control the anger, rage and fury that course through his blood. He pushed no further, so Loki did.

“You are not her betrothed. She would make a fine Queen of Jotunheim”

Thunder clapped, shaking the golden halls. At once Loki was shoved down against the bed. Hand flew to grab Loki by his raven locks, forcing him down.

“Get off me!” Loki spat, his hands shoved hard against Thor’s armored chest.

His heels dug the mattress as Thor yanked at his hair and littered forceful kisses all over his neck. Lok screamed in rage and he could feel Thor’s hard erection pressing and grinding against him.

“No!” Loki spat.

Thor hissed, biting the side of Loki’s neck. Loki smashed his palm over the side to Thor massive head, and tore at those flailing golden locks. They struggled, wrestled, tearing and twisting. Shouting and cursing. Thor ripped Loki’s tunic right off and Loki tore at his face, earning howls of pain.

“You filth!” Loki screamed; his knees slammed against Thor’s guts earning mere grunts as those powerful arms suddenly move to wrap about his sweaty form. “Unhand me!”

“No!” Thor cried, burying his face against the crook of Loki’s neck.

Loki would have burn Thor right there and then if he hadn’t notice that Thor had suddenly stopped assaulting him, and there was wetness against his neck.

He stilled, noting for the first time that Thor was trembling, his breathing uneven and he was gasping softly, as if trying to stifle his voice.

Thor was crying…

Loki was speechless.

What just happen?

They were silent for a long time as Loki simply lay there beside Thor, letting Thor hold onto him, letting the older weep against him. It felt strange, uncomfortable, oddly intimate and private. Loki felt as if this was a moment he could not intrude. Should not intrude least he break some unwritten rule.

He had never seen anyone cry before, not even his own siblings. Jotuns are hard people. They do not shed tears, for tears are weaknesses. He waited till Thor had stopped crying before he spoke.

“Th-or…?” Loki said uncertainly.

“I’m scared…” Thor croaked, tightening his hold.

His mind had cleared, but he remembers how he had felt for Sif, the anger, the resentment, the loathing…He had wanted her dead! How could he?! Sif…who is his first love and best friend…And also… Norns! He had wanted to rape Loki!

He hated himself! He is disgusted with himself! He loathed his thoughts, he despised the things he knows he is capable of doing and he abhorred the things he felt.

The beast grows stronger and stronger every day; calling for him to just let go. He was fighting a losing battle.

He fears the man he would see in the mirror, he fears the cerulean eyes that would stare back at him. Truth, he had seen of the eyes of the stranger staring back at him. He who was dark, sadistic, arrogant and brutal. He fears the monster in him. And sometimes when he fully has his mind back, he would fear for his friends and family, but most of all, he would fear for Loki…

He fears hurting them…like what he had almost done to Loki.

“What do you fear?” Loki asked.

“The man I see in the mirror”

“Why? What is it that you see?”

“A monster”

“…”

“A beast”

Loki shifted to his side within Thor’s powerful arms to regard the man. Thor lowered his eyes in shame, his hand slid down the side of Loki’s lean form to rest over his hips. 

“A beast you say” Loki rasped.

All senses demands that Loki should just let Thor wallow in his self-pity and destruction. Let Thor suffer, and when he is at the verge of breaking, Loki will be there to offer his hand. He will be his only friend in the darkened world of his own making. And then, Loki would have full control of the King of Asgard. Yes, that is what Loki should do… and yet…

“What you see is no beast” Loki said. “It is you that you see” His hand reached out to touch Thor’s face.

The Aesir lifted his gaze to look at Loki.

“You in all your imperfection that makes you who you are”

“…”

“But you already know it don’t you?”

“…”

“You have always known that this darkness in you exists. That is why you fight so hard to keep them away isn’t it?”

Thor’s silence was answer enough.

“You know. You have always known” Loki realized.

Thor has always known that there is darkness, there is wickedness in him. It makes sense now. Why Thor fought so hard against the growing darkness that he would rather lose his mind then compromise even a little. Thor fears that once he allows himself a little, he would want more; he would let himself indulge a little more, a little longer, until he loses himself completely. Thor has always known that he has the tendency and taste for it.

“You need not fear it” Loki said. 

“You do not know me” Thor whispered.

“I see you more than most”

“…”

“Why is it that you cannot accept that these are part of you?” Loki asked.

Thor is a fool, Loki thinks. Thor cannot be what he is if he is perfect. He cannot sympathize, if he is without flaw. He cannot have compassion if he has never failed himself. He cannot be merciful if he is without mistakes. He cannot be kind, if he himself have no need for kindness.

“There are parts of myself that I fear. That I hate…” Thor confessed.

Frigga may think darkness can be controlled to his advantage, but he was not the fool to be convinced. Frigga may think that letting the beast loose for a moment, allowing Thor to command the council as he would never in his normal state, acceptable, but it was not so to Thor. It was a sign that he was losing himself.

“There are parts of me that I never wish to see…”

“The more you fight the more it will grow. Give in from time to time, you will feel better and it will not worsen. If you do not, it will eventually break your mind”

“Then let it break my mind. I would rather have myself thrown into a cage for the insane than sit on the throne as a half-mad king!”

“And I will have never met a more noble fool” Loki snorted.

“Better a fool than a monster. I will not hurt my people”

Loki would never understand Thor. Thor, the God with the power of storm at his hands, Thor the God with legions of fearless Asgardian warriors at his command, Thor who stood above all, with richness and power Loki could only fathom; he would give it all up so simply. He would let it go without batting an eye for the sake of even the lowliest pheasants?

Loki could not understand it. But he had stopped trying to understand. It is Thor’s imperfection that makes him the man that he is. That entices Loki and draws those wondering emerald eyes to him.

“A thousand times I will tell you. You are a fool” Loki said, shifting forward to press their foreheads together.

“…”

“I will not let you lose your mind. For what it is worth, I give you my word”

“Thank you” Thor smiles, pulling Loki’s body against him though he was anything but convince.

He brushed his fingers over Loki’s face. Leans forth, and capture Loki’s lips in a burning kiss.

Loki moaned, his lips parted as his fingers shifted the seize Thor’s golden locks.

There was not a day that he did not remember the intoxicating strength of Thor’s body against his. There was not a day that he did not remember the dark voice that commanded his pleasure, those large hands that sets his body on fire. And the vigor in which Thor spears him, over and over and over again until he was milk dry. 

Oh…He wanted it all and more


	9. Blind Faith

The wind howled and lightning flashed. Rain came pouring as if someone had ripped the skies apart. The curtains fluttered, the chilly wind caresses over Loki’s sleeping form. He moaned and stirred beneath the covers.

He rolled over, his fingers reached out to find another solid body but found none. Thunder clapped.

“Thor…?” Loki groaned, forcing his heavy lids apart. Thor was gone.

At once, he shot up from the bed, his eyes sweep across the empty room till he saw that the door that led to the balcony was wide open. Rattling and slamming against the wall with every mighty gust of wind. It was still night, and it was pouring.

“Thor?” He called louder.

The Aesir couldn’t have gone out in this weather could he? But Thor was not in the chamber; he was not in the bathroom, that Loki was certain. Leaving only the balcony.

He slips out of bed, letting the cover of soft satin slither off his naked body. He moves towards the door and at once he was looking at the Aesir’s back.

The God of Thunder standing on the balcony, drenched wet to his bones. His golden locks stuck messily to his scalp and neck, water caressing down his form. His thin pajama was stuck to his skin like a second layer and it was transparent.

“Hey...” Loki whispered.

Thor did not respond, simply looked up towards the weeping sky.

“What is the matter? Come back in…come to bed”

Thor ignored Loki; his emotions stirred and tingled, the monster beneath his flesh wrenched at the chains that bind.

“Thor…”

A hand lid over his shoulder. He knows he is damn if he turns, he knows it, but yet…he still did. He turned to his side to regard Loki.

He is so tired, so exhausted of fighting a battle he is sure to lose. He wanted to give up, to let go… to listen and succumb finally to the monster in him. It would be so much easier…

Water trickled over both Thor and Loki’s face.

“I’m so tired…” Thor whispered.

Loki stilled. The softness in Thor’s voice frightened him more than any threats Thor could throw at him.

“If only I could give up…”

“Look at me” Loki hissed, taking Thor’s face between the palms of his hand. “I promise you did I not?!” He demanded.

“…”

“I will not let you lose yourself. Do you not trust me?”

“Loki…You do not know what I want” Thor said sadly. “Whenever I look at you, there is this desire in me to chain you. To make you beg and to make you scream as I take you. I want to posses you at all times”

“…”

“Does it not appall you?”

“I’ve told you. You are a fool”

“…”

“Come to bed now” He released Thor.

“Thank you” Thor rasped.

“For what?”

“For being there for me when I needed the most”

"..."

"I..." Thor hesitated for a moment before wrapping his arms about Loki’s waist and uncertainly pulls him close. He didn’t really know what he was doing. It was confusing. There is a part of him that told him that he should stay away from Loki, least he hurt him, while there is another part that just felt right.

He didn’t know what was between them… It was complicated at best.

Thor knew that one moment of intimacy, one moment of trust, one moment of vulnerability shared between them where Loki did not crush his heart into a thousand pieces did not change Loki’s hatred for Aesir, perhaps for him even. But it did change something…It has to. By the Norns, after what happened a few hours ago, he prayed, he begged that things would be different, even if only slightly. Because he needed Loki, the intervals between the clarity of his mind had become shorter and shorter. And even when it is clear, there is always that poisonous whisper that lingers.

He did not know how long he could continue fighting an enemy that grew only stronger as he weakens.

Truly now… only Loki knows him. Knows the devil in him. Something he cannot risk anyone else finding out.

What would they think?

He is a King descending into madness with only a Jotun slowing him in that vicious spiral.

He prayed to the Norns, the trees, to anything that would listen, that he would hold long enough for Odin to awaken.

“Thank you” Thor brushed Loki’s cheek with the back of his fingers.

“If you are so thankful, then why do you stand here?”

“The storm… it gives me peace. It helps me think”

“What about?”

“You” Thor murmured; lowering his forehead to rest against Loki’s, his thumb caresses over Loki’s jaw bone. “Everything…”

Loki’s presence soothed him. He knows everything with Loki is a scheme, a trap, a way to further his plan. He is a pawn, he knows it. But as for now, hidden away from the eyes of the world, he wanted this. He wanted the peace only Loki could offer, even if just for a moment. It matters not if the emotions, the sympathy, the compassion beneath Loki’s emerald gaze a few hours ago had been real or not. It matters not… because he needed them or he will go mad.

He knows that he had succumbed to Loki’s grand scheme in that matter, but he will never regret being saved from that decadent place. He wanted to ask spitefully, _are you happy now? Did you have what you want? You’ve won…I am yours to command with simply the caress of your hands, the whisper of your voice against my ears and the heat of your body against me...For without you, I am madness…_

“What do you want Thor?” Loki asked quietly.

“I don’t know” He admits. “But I wonder…if we had met in another circumstance…then perhaps…”

Loki tensed at the implication; drawing back. He stood with his back straight and proud. Fire flickering within the depths of his emerald eyes.

Thor lifted his gaze. Emerald meets cerulean. Loki hissed suddenly, shoving Thor back.

“Do not forget who I am” Loki warned.

He isn’t some domesticated pet! He is not some tamed Jotun! He is Loki Laufeyjarson! The heir to the throne of Jotunheim!

“Don’t you dare!” Loki snarled.

“I do not” Thor said.

“If you did, you’d be the biggest fool in all the nine realms”

Thor did not reply. He simply reached down to take Loki’s hand and took a step towards him.

Loki looked upon him. His emerald eyes, on fire even as Thor laid a hand over the side of Loki’s neck; his thumb traced the line of Loki’s jawbone.

 _What are you doing?_   Loki’s mind whispered. But more alarmingly, why was he letting Thor stand so close to him?

He has come to terms that he no longer loathed Thor, but this went beyond mere acceptance.

Thor was so close Loki could feel his breath caress against his lips, and yet, he did not move.

“You are Loki of Jotunheim. I have not forgotten” Thor said quietly.

He did not forget the man beneath this false visage. Till his last breath, he will not forget…the fearless strength Loki shown, when he blasted through the walls of Asgard and fought the warriors that came upon him. The fire in those scarlet eyes, the fierceness in his every strike and the grace of his move. Loki was prepared to fight and die right there that very day. And even when Loki was at the brink of death, his eyes had been steel, his resolve unbroken. A creature born from ice but with spirit like wildfire.

“There is no man like you” Thor closed his eyes; his lips brushed over Loki’s cheek, trailing gently to touch those icy lips almost painfully.

He cannot have Loki; that he knows.

“It has gotten worst hasn’t it…?” Loki asked.

Thor nodded. Yes… without Loki, without his presence, the beast stirs restlessly. Turning his thoughts, turning him, into a man that even he fears. Sadistic, violent, possessive, angry and selfish.

“For what it is worth…I will not let you lose yourself”

“Thank you”

“It’s late” Loki said.

“Yes…Let’s get back to bed. We have a long hunt ahead”

“Ah… the sports of savages”

Thor simply smile, guiding Loki back into the room. Loki lets him, watching him intently.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The Soul Forest was what the Aesir called the place. The ground was moist and the trees were thick. Monstrous trees towered all around them like great pillars. Mist and fog lingered in the air, curling, entwining between massive trunks, settling over them like a veil. It was hard to see far in the muted dimness that enveloped the place. But they are not real. This muted darkness, they are illusions cast by the very forest herself to trick the eyes of Aesir. An illusion of dusk that would last an eternity. It was the way the forest protects the beasts that run rampant on her lush plains.

But what was to be a disadvantage to the Aesir, Loki only thrives all the more.

On Jotunheim with nights and snowstorms that last a life time, hunting without the sense of sight is the norm. Thus, without a doubt Loki became the best hunter out of the entire hunting party much to the warrior’s displeasure at being outmatched on their own realm. And to sooth their bruised pride, they mocked Loki’s seid. Called him womanly to rely on such art; ergi and whore were their favorite words.

“Listen! Listen! I’ve made a wonderful song!” Loki stood up at dinner, garnering everyone’s attention.

At once, Thor tensed.

For the pass few night Loki have been doing this presumably in retaliation to the warrior’s insults, reciting poem and songs he’d compose with every verse throwing insults to warriors in turn.

“Loki” Thor hissed urgently, trying to drag him down but Loki simply dances out of his reached; skipping and laughing he leaped onto a box by the supply tent.

“A song! A wonderful song in tribute to this hunt! Sing with me if you can master the skill fellow friends!” He laughed and began.

It didn’t take five lines before Thor recognize that it was yet another song of tease and insult. Thor dragged him down before he could even get to the second verse. Loki laughed.

“Join me! Join me friends!”

Thor hauled Loki to their tent, ignoring the murderous glares as Loki continued to sing the second and third verse loudly until finally Thor unzips their tent and thrust the trickster in.

“What’s the matter with you?” Thor resisted the urge to shout. “Are you trying to provoke a fight?”

“A fight?” Loki said scandalously. “Well I am hurt. I thought singing and poems were part of merrymaking. I did not realize that such delicate things would incite fights. What moody bunches you lot are”

“Lo-”

“Well then, I better go make my amends. I’ve just thought of another song!”

“Stop it!” Thor grabbed the damn trickster by his wrist, wrenching him forth.

Loki smiled as he crashed against Thor’s armored chest. He reached his free hand to cup Thor’s warm features.

His touch was like electric, instantly stilling the rampant thoughts of Thor’s mind; and there was peace for a moment.

“You are doing well” Loki said, pecking him on the lips.

“Aye”

Loki has been true to his words on that part. He hadn’t let Thor lose his mind and he had been there for him all through the week. Being close enough for Thor to touch him, kiss him when Thor could no longer bare it. Or rather, sometimes Loki would act first before Thor could reach for him. But Thor had refused to have sex with Loki. There is a line he would still draw.

 _“Holding on to what little honor you could still master?”_ Loki had mocked and teased. Thor took no offence of it, for Loki is Loki.

“There’s your kiss. Now unhand me” Loki hummed.

“That’s not the point” Thor frowned, but loosened his hold.

At once, Loki slipped away, laughing.

“No more singing!” Thor roared.

“It was just a little fun” Loki winked, disappearing from the tent.

Thor groaned, wiping a hand down his face in mounting frustration.

By the end of the first week, everyone was on their last nerve, and truthfully, so was Thor. But for completely different reason.

He had ached for the Jotun. Held him tight in his embrace as he ignored the pleas of his treacherous body. Loki had teased, asking if Thor needed release in which he had refused. He isn’t ready to give in into his baser desire like an animal. Not yet... But the prospect, it was starting to sound friendlier as nights pass.

It was the evening of the second week when thunders crashed and lighting streaking across the sky as rain threatened to pour.

Thor did not mean for it to happen. He did not. He was completely caught off guard when he saw Loki peck a kiss against Sif’s cheek.

The beast had roared and wrenched at him so violently that for a moment it was as if he had lost his mind. Perhaps he had for a moment. He was already half way across the campsite when he caught himself. The entire camp was staring at him. Even Sif, and Loki, the brilliant bastard, had the audacity to look confuse.

Fear, terror, adrenaline had surged through Thor’s blood and he had fled into his tent.

He crumbled onto the fur of Loki and his make-shift bed. His fingers clenched so tight till his knuckles were white as he took in deep steadying breath, willing, willing for the beast to calm.

He had done so well so far. He had been good; he had followed Loki’s advice, letting his thought run rampant whenever he could no longer stand it. He had…

He was so lost in his thoughts that he did not notice someone entering his tent.

“Friend, you have it bad” A voice snapped Thor out of his peverse thoughts. It was Fandral.

“I beg you leave me in peace”

“Only when you have heard me out”

“I am not in the mood”

“I care not my King” Fandral strode over to Thor. "I will have words with you now" 

Thor flashed a glare at Fandral in which the man ignored.

“You tread on dangerous grounds. I could have you for treason” Thor reluctantly stood to his feet. He has no desire to have his friend towering over him, speaking to him as if he were some child.

“Aye. You could” Fandral agreed. “But that’s what friends are for. To knock some sense into you when you don’t want it”

“…”

“Look, I’ve seen you moon over girls down at the brothels, I’ve seen you moon over server girls in the tavern and the daughters of nobles, even proclaiming that you would marry them when all knows that you are _'strongly'_ encouraged to marry into royalty”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is that you are a damn fool. You’ve finally lost your head in love with the one being that you could actually say "I do" to, and all you do is sulk and mope and do nothing”

“I do not!”

“Oh? You do not desire him?” Fandral challenged. “Then why do I see hatred and jealousy whenever Loki is with Sif?”

“It’s complicated”

“Norns help me” Fandral said. “Court him Thor, if you want him!”

“I cannot”

“Why not?”

“Because he is of Jotunheim and the Crown Prince!” Thor bellowed, in roaring anger. “All knows the ending of this tale!”

Fandral heaved a sigh. Thor has changed so much in the last couple of months since his awakening from the brink of death. He isn’t the man he once was and Fandral could see that whatever that had happened in that decadent place between the living and the dead and perhaps is still happening, it was taking Thor apart piece by piece.

Every day, every second, it was as if the Thor he knows is dying a little, and in place, a stranger he did not recognize. There was no longer joy in those bright cerulean eyes. There was now always fear, exhaustion, anger and sometimes the chilling lust to kill. But in the brief moment he had seen Loki with him, it was those brief moments that the light would return to Thor’s eyes.

And if Loki is the answer, then so be it. If truly all route will come to the same inevitable end...destruction... Then what did Thor have to lose by taking a chance?

“Look…Perhaps peace with Jotunheim is not so impossible; perhaps it is…I do not know the answer to that, for I am no wise lady in pristine white robes that weave the thread of fate” Fandral said. “But when have such a thing stop you? What happen to the Thor I know that bends for no one, no reason or logic?”

“He has grown” Thor sighed. “We are no longer boys that play with wooden swords. It is foolish to pursue fantasies. It is my head that I must follow if Asgard is to survive the coming war”

Fandral was silent for a moment as he looked upon Thor. There is nothing he could say to that.

“You are right” He admits at last. “We’ve grown, and you are a king now…I will not pretend to even understand the burden you must carry. But I tell you this. If you will not court him, if you will not admit that it is to a Jotun runt that you have given your heart at last, then let him go” Fandral said. “He does not deserve your anger or jealousy, and neither does Sif”

Thor closes his eyes. “Leave me my friend. You’ve said enough”

“You will apologize to Sif”

“Leave!”

Fandral looked at Thor for a moment, before placing a firm hand over Thor’s shoulder. “I will leave…But remember this if nothing else my friend, my King, my shield-brother…it is not the end that matters, but the journey in which you take”

 

 

* * *

 

 

The atmosphere through dinner was so tense you could slice it with a knife. Loki kept his eyes on Thor who sat by his side. Loki knows that Thor is not himself anymore. Those cerulean eyes were utterly cold and vicious, predatory, as they spare glances at Loki. Loki ignored him.

When Thor finished his dinner, he stood to his feet and declared that he would retire. Loki followed him without a word. The moment they entered the tent, Thor spurned around and grabbed Loki by both his upper arm, wrenching him forth.

Loki gasped as he smacked against Thor’s hard chest. He chuckled; reaching up to touch Thor’s heated face.

There was no mercy in those fiery cerulean eyes that vowed to devour Loki. Loki licked his lips unconsciously.

“Have you been waiting all this time your Grace?” He teased.

Thor said nothing; his rough hands flew up to seize Loki by his raven locks.

Loki chuckled, a develish grin stretched over his thin lips. "So impatient..." He purred

“You are mine” Thor growled crushing their lips together in a heated kiss.

Loki moaned his lids flutter shut and he wraps his arms about Thor’s neck as they deepened the kiss. Lips caresses against lips, pushing, feeding. Loki opened his mouth; letting Thor slipped his tongue into his waiting heating.

Oh… Thor’s mouth was masculine and hot, dominating his.

It was at times like this that Loki would let himself go. Let himself be dominated by those sheering lips that sweep him into another world. A world of passion, pleasure and exotic fantasy. A world where his wretched body would be worshipped, as if it was perfect, as if it was beautiful. A would where he could strip away his mask of control and there would be another to catch him shall he fall.

“Thor…” Loki breathes as Thor pulls back.

Fire flickered within the depths of Thor’s cerulean eyes.

Thor curled his fingers beneath Loki’s chin tilting his face up. There was something infinitely gentle in that gesture, but his fingers are firm, commanding authority such that Loki could not look away.

“You will remember this night” Thor backed Loki up towards their fur of make shift bed. “You will remember who owns you” He shoved Loki down onto the fur and towered over him.

Predatory gaze roamed over Loki’s lithe form.

Loki swallowed, his heart hammered in thrills of excitement and anticipation.

“Strip!” Quick and sharp the command was given. There is no desire in Thor’s voice, no want, no longing. It was cold and vicious but Loki had never felt more arouse.

Loki removed his clothes and pants at once and he realized that his fingers were shaking.

Oh yes… that little trick with Sif was a neat one.

He knew Thor was watching and he knew just the thing to push the noble King over the edge.

“Spread your legs” Thor ordered without as much as a hint of desire in his voice.

Loki did, when he remembered something. He hadn’t changed his sex yet.

Damn!

He reached his fingers between his legs when a rough hand flew to clench over his wrist.

“Th-”

“Leave it” Thor said. “Tonight you will do as I command. Do you understand?”

“Ye-yes”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki gasped and moaned; sweat slicked his entire body as electric pleasure hummed through his entire body in slow torturous pleasure. His abdomen clenched, the muscles of his thighs ached as sweat rolled down his inner thigh. Loki had been embarrassed at first, but he had lost all shame now and wasn’t bothered about showing his desperation; he started to plead with Thor to take him, to let him come.

“Th-or!” Loki cried; but Thor was unyielding as he sat upon a chair in front of him.

The man hadn’t even taken off a strip of his clothes since he’d worked Loki to take Mjolnir’s entire length and commanded Loki to touch himself as Mjolnir purred deep in him.

“Not yet” Thor said. “If you cannot hold yourself, I will tie your base. Do you want that?” That rough uncaring voice sends ripples shuddering over Loki’s body. As if the thought of denying him some more was a potent one.

“Please” Loki whispered.

He didn’t even know what he was asking anymore. To be restrained some more or for Thor to release him. His fingers were already slick, pre-cum trickling off Mjolnir’s hard surface beneath him.

“Do you want me?” Thor asked.

“Yes”

Thor stood up. Loki’s breath caught in his throat as he watched Thor move to kneel before him.

Mjolnir hummed at once louder. White hot heat speared through him. Loki let out a muffled shout, his fingers clenched over his weeping length as his toes curled in pleasure.

Norns! He was ready to burst.

“Remove your hand” Thor commanded.

When Loki hesitated, Thor slapped him full in the face. Not hard, just enough to sting.

“Now” The word was abrupt, cutting and vicious.

Loki whimpered; reluctantly uncurl his fingers from his desperate cock that is on display for Thor to see. He almost came at the intensity of Thor’s gaze looking at him. As of now, those cerulean eyes looked only at him…only him.

Loki knows he isn’t beautiful. His body isn’t ideal by either Aesir or Jotun standard. He was far too lean, too small, too pale and his cock was pitiful compare to Thor’s. And surely if he was compared to the average Jotun, he was pathetic in all aspect, but Thor makes him feel perfect; he makes him feel beautiful in all his undoing. He makes him feel wanted as he is…

He shivered when Thor reached to cup his face, callous thumb stroked over his flushed cheek, caresses over his parted lips.

Loki gave a mischievous nip over Thor’s thumb.

Dark fire flickered in the depths of Thor’s eyes, but he said nothing, his large hand trailed lower.

Loki moaned. There is something so so thrilling to be to be controlled, to be utterly utterly at the mercy of another. As of now, only Thor can give him his pleasure, only Thor…

He let out a startled gasped when Thor caresses over his hardened nipple and still the hand trailed lower. Thor was doing nothing more than touching him, but his every nerve ending was on fire.

His blood hummed in thrills of excitement as he spread his legs wider. His cock is hot, aching and wanting between his shaking legs.

“Painful isn’t it?” Thor took Loki’s leaking length in his warm hand, giving it a stroke.

Pleasure sizzled. Loki gasped. “Ple-ase”

Thor looked upon him with cold detachment and sends another surge of electric through Mjolnir, making Loki cry out. And as soon as the pleasure came, it stopped.

“Thor!”

“Who do you want?”

“Wh-at?” Another surge of electric speared him; Loki let out a muffled cry. His toes curled tight, his muscles clamped; his head bowed in pleasure and his erection tightened to the one zenith point and suddenly it was gone.

“What are you doing?!” Loki screamed, snapping his desperate gaze at the damnable man.

“You will not come until I allow it” Thor said.

He will teach Loki a lesson. That Loki belonged only to him, that Loki’s pleasure is his to command, his to give, to take and to deny. And he will deny Loki, hovering Loki just beyond reach of his completion.

“I don-” Loki chocked, as pleasure ripped though him in wild abandon.

Thor was true to his words, sending surges to electricity through Loki till he was about to burst, screaming with release and he would stop and start again once Loki had calmed. By the fourth time Loki couldn’t take it anymore, his fingers reached between his legs but Thor caught his wrist before he could so much as touch his burning length, refusing him completely.

“Who grant you the permission to touch yourself?” Thor growled.

“Thor ple-”

Thor slapped him again, silencing him. “I’ve told you, not even you can touch this place. You will be punished”

Thor took a small strip of leather and bound it tightly over the base of Loki’s cock. Loki wanted to weep, to scream as he looked between his legs. He was so close…so close!

“Do not weep for I am merciful. I will allow you to touch yourself all you want” Thor said and at once, sends a steady stream of current to Mjolnir.

Wave of sensation rocked Loki, shook him to the very core. His lower muscles clamped, mounting pleasure narrowed to one shimmering point and he screamed. A violent explosion rippled through his lower muscles, his cock throbbed, spasm but no seed burst forth. His balls tightened painfully with the buildup. But still, Thor ignored his desperate stroking and pleading, denying him over and over again.

“Who commands you?!” Thor demanded.

“You!”

By the next ten minutes, Loki was weeping. His raven locks in sweaty disarray; his pale face was flushed with heat and Mjolnir slick with his pre-cum.

“Who do you want?!”

“You Thor! You!” he pleaded over and over again as Mjolnir hummed insistently louder.

“Will you kiss Sif again?!”

“No!”

“Will you even look at her again?!”

“No! No! No!”

“Who owns you?!”

“You! You!”

“Hush now” Thor leans forth finally, capturing Loki in a kiss and at the same time, he lifted Loki off Mjolnir with a gentleness that is so at odd with his enormous strength. 

“Please…please…enough…” Loki begged as Thor tossed him onto their make shift bed.

Thor kissed him over and over again, on his lips, his cheeks, his eyes and nose. Burning lips dragged over the column of Loki’s neck and Thor kissed Loki over his shoulder, as Thor hastily removes his own clothes and pants.

“On your back this time. I want you to look upon my face as I take you, so that you will know who it is that gives you this pleasure” He rasped, running his hands down the side of Loki’s flushed body.

Loki shivered, his raven locks sprawled over the fur beneath as Thor move to cover his body. His hands ran over Thor’s rib cage, then sliding to press against that hard back and he spread his legs wide for Thor. 

“The leather…please…” Loki pleaded.

“I will release you when you can take no more” Thor pressed a kiss against Loki’s ear, his thumb caresses Loki’s hip bone.

“I ca-”

“Hush. I will take care of you” With a move, Thor slipped into Loki’s tight wondrous heat. Loki stifled a cry, his nails dug into Thor’s back.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki lay on his front by Thor’s side, his lean arms tucked beneath the pillow as his eyes drooped tiredly. That was intense. He had no doubt the entire camp heard him beg and scream but he couldn’t give a damn.

Thor looked over at the Jotun. His mind as clear as it could ever be.

He had asked once as to why Loki always slept on his front and Loki had told him something along the lines of learned habit and his horns. Well, Thor supposed it would be uncomfortable to lie on your back if you have heavy appendages attached to the front of your skull.

“You alright?” Thor asked, stroking Loki’s sweaty locks.

Loki hummed, a smile on his face.

“Sleep… I’ve worked you hard”

“Lay with me”

“I am”

“Not like that”

“You want to cuddle?”

“If you must call it that”

Thor smiles. The only time Loki would ever make request that hinted he was not all hard iron and fire was after sex. For reasons Thor could not even begin to understand, it always make him happy. Perhaps it was a sign to Thor that Loki had enjoyed whatever his clouded mind had compelled him to do, and that he had not hurt Loki.

Well, at least one of them enjoyed it…Thor thought.

Even after that drunken first night, Loki had wanted to ‘cuddle’ in what Thor deemed to be the Jotun sense of cuddle. 

“Alright then” Thor shifted over to lie atop Loki’s back and embrace him.

Loki shifted slightly, the hard weight of Thor on his back was comfortable. A Jotun thing. Then he smiles when he felt Thor kiss him gently over the back of his shoulder.

“Sleep Loki” Thor placed a kiss over the back of Loki’s head.

Loki did not protest and fell asleep within the minute he shut his eyes. Thor waited for a few more minutes just to make sure, before moving off the Jotun to sit beside him.

Fandral’s words played over and over again in his now clear mind. His gaze drifted to his side to watch the unguarded expression of Loki’s face.

What is he to do? What can he do?

He cannot rid himself of this unnatural desire; he cannot rid himself of his unnatural want and possessiveness… The curse Loki placed within him had stripped him of all choice to choose. Truthfully, he is no more than a puppet on strings.

He did not believe that any of this desires and longing was his own, for how could he ever fall for a Jotun. A monster. Odin would be horrified he is sure.

There is nothing to be done…

But perhaps, he did have one choice of his choosing. He could choose to not fight the curse, and court Loki like a fool even when he knows the ending of their tale.

Perhaps Fandral is right…it is not the end that matters, but the journey in which he takes. He did not know. He just wanted it all to stop!

He is just so tired. So so tired at everything…The struggle in his every waking moment is wearing him thin, the constant struggle of thoughts and will, pushing him to the brink of sanity faster than the damnable curse was meant to.

Thor reached over to stroke Loki’s raven locks.

Perhaps everything did not need to end in blood. Perhaps there could be peace even, if Loki would want him in return. He did not know. But what he did know is that, if he continues as he is, in constant struggle, in anger and in jealousy, it will all surely end in blood and he will go mad.

He made his decision then.

“ _A leap of faith_ …” Thor thought.

He will take a leap of faith and take his chance with Loki.

“Let’s see if we can’t rewrite the ending…” Thor smiled sadly. Leaning down he placed a kissed over Loki’s cheek knowing that is the only choice Loki left him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The dark elves came in hordes, their levitating ships the color of night, scattered across the wide skies as if swarms of locust.

Laufey stood firm by the gates of his icy fortress, Helblindi stood by his right and Byleistr on his left. His armies are not to be seen, but they are there, all lay waiting beneath the thin ice.

Laufey watched the hundreds of ships land on his territory, throwing up great masses of snow and ice. Should Malekith try anything, Laufey’s armies will shatter the ice beneath their feet, sending Malekith’s entire fleet of black iron ships and armies alike hurdling into the depths of Jotunheim.

Platforms descended from the hundreds of ships and Laufey watched, calculated their numbers, as legions of armies in suit of armor marched from their inky ships, coming to a halt upon his land. It was an impressive sight. A hundred thousand strong at least, Laufey thought.

There was a moment of silence where none move; then Malekith step forth, striding down the path towards Laufey. His snowy white braid whipped in the howling wind. He removes his ivory mask; his dark eyes looked upon the giant.

“Hello Laufey” Malekith bowed.

“Welcome”

“Ah…Am I really” The elf grinned; his teeth, all razor sharp.

Laufey ignored that comment and went on to introduce Helblindi and Byleistr but Malekith was uninterested. He did not even pretend to spare Laufey’s children his attention.  Though perhaps his eyes did linger for a split second longer on Byleistr. Then Malekith said, “Do not look so grim. I am not the enemy”

“That remains to be seen” Laufey said.

At that Malekith chuckled. “You should thank me. I’ve cast a veil over your realm so that even the Gatekeeper cannot spy on you”

“I do thank you…” Laufey nodded. “Now come. I have had rooms made for your armies but you must join us, for you are the guest of honor”

“How kind” Malekith followed Laufey in, while Helblindi and Byleistr went to direct Malekith’s armies.

Laufey did not trust the elves one bit, for they are sly, cunning, deceitful creature by nature. They lust for power, for richness and they longed to plunge the world back into a time of darkness once more. Their desire is no secret.

As of now, only Asgard stands in the way of Malekith's entire troop and their desires. Laufey have no doubt as to the words Loki had whispered into Malekith ears.

Loki Loki…

Loki had taught Laufey that the closer you look, the less you will see. The more you focus on one thing, obsessed over one thing, putting your entire mind into one thing; that is the time when the sorcerer will play his hand behind your unsuspecting back.

Malekith is blinded by greed, Laufey knows, so blind that he would bring his entire army onto Jotunheim. A realm of ice and snow, where Laufey could so easily crush his entire troop with the power of winter he holds in his hands. If Malekith would miss something so obvious, he wondered how much more blind is he to the plans Loki had surely weaved.

Then again, Laufey have to remind himself to not fall into that same trap as Malekith seemed to have. He had to remind himself not to be blinded by his own ego that he could predict all. He must keep his eyes open to the cards in his hands, in Malekith’s hands, in Byleistr’s hands and those in Loki’s hands.

“I did not realize we are having guest!” A chillingly familiar voice pierced Laufey’s thought. He stilled at once, his every muscle tensed as he looked upon the face of his mate in front of him.

Laufey wanted to curse. Farbauti had out rightly defied his command to stay out of sight, not that he could command Farbauti to do anything. But…

Malekith grinned, sensing the tension between Laufey and Farbauti.

“Ah…Farbauti. A pleasure to finally meet you” Malekith bowed.

“Likewise” Farbauti smiled.

Laufey resisted the urge to snarl and drag Farbauti into the nearest room.

“Come, dine with us” Farbauti said, bidding Malekith to follow him.

Farbauti did not even spare Laufey a glance as he walked ahead.

“What’s the matter? The Great King of Jotunheim cowed by his own mate?” Malekith whispered so that only Laufey would hear it.

Laufey stabbed a glare at him.

"That child...Byleistr was it? Quite the looker. I could guess where he got the looks from" Malekith smirked. 

Laufey could kill.

The elf pretended not to notice as he followed Farbauti.

Laufey wanted to wring that little neck.

And what in Hel’s name is Farbauti doing?! Getting back at Laufey for forbidding him to meet with Malekith?! He was just concern over Farbauti’s safety! Was that so hard to understand?! Not that Farbauti was any less a warrior than him...

But Farbauti is with child. They’d just discovered that a few days ago. This is the first time Laufey is the sire. He’d think Farbauti would be more careful now that there was new life growing in him. But no. Farbauti was Hel bend on doing as he pleased. Laufey hissed in frustration.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Beneath the silver ray of the full moon, flowers of all colors and shapes were everywhere, trees of impossible height stood in every corner with their glowing leaves in the dark of night. Trees with glowing leaves of green, gold, blue, amethyst, white and the red of blood fluttered and shuddered beneath the soft breeze. They whistled too and their low hanging vines waved and stirred with the song of night.

Hundreds of small glowing insects flew and circled the forest night, going from shrub to shrub and flowers to flowers. They circled Loki, making him smile. He tried to capture one of the little glowing light, but they slip pass his fingers as if wind.

“It takes practice” Thor chuckled, moving closer towards Loki. His every step brought on a new surge of emerald light beneath his boots.

It was all so very surreal for Loki. He had never seen such beauty before. His eyes were wide and in awed at everything. He brushed his hand over a curtain of radiant amethyst vine and they whispered their song to him. Even in his Aesir form, he could feel that the forest is alive. He could feel a raw sense of magic that stirred within everything in it. He could feel a conscious in these trees and flowers, and the grass beneath his feet.

Soft laughter seemed to echo all around them.

Thor smiles when Loki turned to look at him. “Spirits of the forest” Thor said, coming to a halt before Loki. “Do you like it?”

“Yes”

“Is it worth it?” Thor asked.

“Hn” Loki nodded.

He is glad that he had entertained Thor’s seemingly outrageous request to dine in the forest a few hours ago.

“Is there anything else you would like to show me?” Loki asked.

“If you are up to it” 

“Show me”

Thor beamed. “Come! Come!”

He hurried towards their steeds and all up leap atop his mount. His steed snorted, shaking its great massive head. Loki followed him, and together, they raced deeper into the forest.

Icy wind caress their skin, blood pounded in their ears as their locks were swept back in the violent current that crashed against their faces. Lights sprang all about them, lighting up their way. The forest sings, the spirits laughed like chimes, their voices resonated through the entire place, whispers of songs carried in the wind.

Thor beamed as he looked over to see Loki by his side, laughing. Loki noticed Thor’s staring.

“What?” Loki smiles, glancing over.

Thor shook his head and worked his mount harder. It did not take long before they reach the heart of the forest.

Loki’s eyes widened when they finally burst through the trees. With a mighty pull, Thor brought his mount to a halt by the side of a crashing waterfall.

Loki gaped at the stunning beauty that took his every breath away. The massive fall glowed cerulean beneath the touch of the moon and it sparkled like shards of crystals where they crashed against silvery rocks. But it was not that that had mesmerized him.

No…

Just across the rushing river was a tree of impossible height and trunk of impossible width. Its roots were large and old, curling all over the ground. It’s leafs were massive and the color of emerald stones. They shook with the wind and glittered beneath the moon.

“Look” Thor pointed towards the branches.

Loki looked, and saw apples of pure gold hanging in the thousands on its leafy branches.

“Iduun’s apples” Thor said, dismounting his steed.

The plants about the massive tree sang the loudest. Their color, the most vibrant. Loki was speechless, his lips parted unconsciously. He had only ever read of them, he never thought he would ever see it before his eyes. The beauty described in books were pale in comparison to the real thing.

“Come…” Thor took Loki’s hand, helping him down from his mount.

“Impressive…” Loki whispered.

“Aye” Thor agreed. But he was not done yet.

He held Loki’s hand and took him across the river, leaping from rock to rocks until they were on the other side. There, there was a massive stag with head held high and proud with eyes like night and massive antlers of gold. It stared at them unyieldingly, trotting over to where they stood.

Loki stared back warily but Thor simply smiles, taking the chance to entwine their fingers together. Loki did not comment on it, but he did turn to regard Thor silently.

“Come” Thor encouraged.

As they approached the tree, the singing gradually became louder and louder until they seem more like words than the whistles of trees. Then, a hooded figure emerged from behind the massive trunk. Loki tensed.

“Do not be afraid. She will not hurt you” Thor soothed. “Watch her”

Loki did.

It took but a moment for Loki to realize that all the melody he had heard were her voice. Her songs, and sweet and sad were the sound of her voice that filled the entire place. When the figure lifted her head, Loki saw that her face was beautiful and slender, neither young nor old. She was clad in cloak of snowy white likened the high priestess and her long curly hair was the color of gold.

Without even acknowledging them, she lifted her eyes up towards the heavens. Her voice rose beautifully as her pale arm lifted to the heavens. Threads of light curled, twist all about her silken robes and slowly they rise, till it reached those fruits of gold. She lowered a golden apple and drifted it towards Thor’s waiting hand.

“Thank you my lady” Thor bowed.

She did not seem to notice him as she did not when she appeared. And just as mysteriously as she appears, she disappears. Her voice became nothing more than the whistled of leaves that blow with the breeze once more.

“Here” Thor held it up to Loki. “I reckoned you’ve never had one”

Thor was right of course. No one but the highborn Aesir had ever touched the apple of Iduun, until now. It was the Aesir’s pride and joy, the fruit of the Gods, the fruit of immortality. Even Thor would only ever take them once a year, or if he is greviously injured.

“You will only see her on a full moon” Thor said. “And it is the magic in her voice that make all these things glow”

Loki took the fruit between his hands, his thumb caress over the soothing smoothness of its texture.

He could guess why Thor was doing this. Thor was attempting to woo him...well, not by Thor’s own will though, Loki is sure. A twinge of pain clutched his heart. Loki clenched his jaws, his fingers tightened.


	10. Beneath the Facade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update. Updates will be more consistent from now as i am on holiday. FINALLY! ^^

**  
**

Odin remained silent as Loki mocks and laughs at the fool Thor is to offer him one of Asgard’s most guarded treasure. Idunn’s apple, the fruit of life, of immortality.

Odin passes no judgment, betrays no emotion as he lets Loki have his fun. There is nothing that Loki could say that would turn Odin away from Thor in disgust or unleash his anger for the boy he loves. Loki might think otherwise, for like the rest of the realms, Loki knows Thor the Golden Prince and King before this, but Odin has always known Thor the boy. He knows his son.

Thor… A boy who was forced to grow up too fast as the weight of responsibility was laid on his shoulders. A boy forced to act a man at too young an age, for the whole of Asgards gaze were always upon him.  A boy, flawed as any living being is, forced to present to the world at too tender an age, a facade of perfection that is impossible, for he is their Golden Prince. Their pride and joy.

They know Thor the prince, but not Thor the boy, the man, the monster… who is anything but perfect.

Who in his youth, powerless to reign the beast and the anger in him that roars evermore liken the storm he was born to wield, had killed his brother Vali in a blind fit of rage; who had then wept in grief, and fear to even look upon his own hands.

Odin had covered it all up. He had lost a son, he will not lose two.

The Queen must never know it was Thor, Odin’s bastard that had killed her boy. Her cruel boy, who had always mocked Thor for being a motherless child; a bastard, a shame, a filth, behind closed doors.

Odin had told the Queen that despite Thor’s failure, Thor was ever so brave, that Thor had fought almost at the cost of his life to save Vali from rebels that never existed. And they in turn had told Asgard that Vali’s death had came from sickness while Odin ordered the death of the imaginary rebels who were really prisoners on death rows to appease the Queen.

 _“Our little secret…”_  He had told the little teary Thor the night Frigga finally put her arms around Thor and accepted him as hers for his  _bravery_. Not simply a vile reminder of Odin’s blunder with a giantess that Frigga has to present to the realm as her own, for the King is without flaw.

 That was the first time Thor ever had a mother.  That was the first time Thor ever felt the embrace of a mother.

The Queen must never know...

For all the kindness and love she posseses, she is fierce and ruthless.  She would kill Thor without hesitation and watch him die a slow agonizing death without an ounce of sympathy even if she had learned to love him all these centuries.  She is a mother before she is a Queen. The throne be damn, Asgard be damn, she would sit on the crumbling throne as Asgard falls to her ruins around her if it meant avenging her child.

So you see…Odin has always known Thor as he truly is, even if no one else did. He was not shocked or surprised by the things he sees through Loki’s eyes, nor was he appalled.

Loki had mocked him once, asking if Thor disgust him. 

 _“_ _No…”_  He had said.  _“What moral standard do you compare us to? Mortals? Commoners? We are Gods and Kings, Loki...”_

“It must be disappointing to witness the foolishness of your heir” Loki said.

“Why Loki?” Odin asked “Why do you see snares in every kindness, or foolishness in gentleness which you cannot decipher falsehood?”

Loki snorted. “Oh we are back to sentiments again are we?”

“Do not twist the memory Loki”

“And what have I to twist?” Loki asked. “What is it that you think I feel?” 

“…”

“Happiness? Joy?!” Loki cried. “I do not feel Allfather! You know this”

Yes, Odin knows it. From the memories, he has seen that over the years, Loki’s dark seid has robbed Loki of emotions Loki would now classify as useless sentiments. Perhaps not completely yet, perhaps Loki could still feel them ever so faintly at times, but mostly, it is numbness Loki feels, where positive emotions ought to be. 

“Loki…” Odin said. “You may not remember them. But your body does”

At that Loki laughs. “Who’d think that the Allfather is such a sentimental fool?!”

“Is it a fool to have compassion? To have sympathy?” Odin asked. “It is sympathy that I have for your dam that made me spare his life”

“Sympathy for your enemy… you are weak! It amazes me that you live so long”

Odin did not argue, there is nothing to argue. “Loki, why do you smile still? Why do you laugh still?” He asked instead.

“Because that is what Thor wants. I am only obliging”

“Then tell me truly… have you not done things you cannot explain lately? Things that makes no sense? Things that bring you no advantage but one you cannot stop yourself from doing?” Odin asked. “Why do you keep Thor from madness? Why do you sooth him when he needed it? Why do you not pull away from his touch? And why do you want him to look at you when you make love if pleasure is all that matters?” 

By the time Odin finishes, Loki was no longer smiling, He was glaring at Odin furiously.

“Loki, you are not without hope. Your body has not forgotten, and in time, your mind can too if y-”

“No! Stop!” Loki cried. “Do not speak as if you know me just because you could see my memory and hear my thoughts. You do not know me!”

“I do not claim to know you” Odin said. “But do you know yourself? Do you even know what it is you desire?”

“I have never been more certain of anything!”

“Tell me then, what is it that you desire?”

"Revenge! I desire revenge for my homeland! I desire the blood of Aesir paints the grounds of Jotunheim in red! I desire Asgard on her knees before me! In slavery! In torment! Just as you have left us to rot and suffer!”

“And Thor in your bed”

“Oh yes…” A terrible smile stretched across Loki’s thin lips, revealing his razor teeth.

Odin was silent for a long moment, before he spoke again. “Iduuns apple… eat it” He said. “The seid that corrupts you is of death, Iduun is life… take it. It will cleanse you… It will allow you to know what you have long forgotten. But the moment your practice your seid that draws its powers from death, it will devourer it again”

“And what would I have to achieve in these fleeting moments? What would I gain from these disgusting sentiments?!” Loki asked. “You think sentiments would spare your world? You think something as weak as  _love_ would save you all?! Pathetic!” He snarled; his razor teeth bare. “Watch me Allfather. Watch me. Watch as your beloved Asgard burn!”

 

 

* * *

 

 

The hunt was a success. Upon their return swamp of people framed the street, cheering as the warriors rode by. Thor had barely gotten off his mount when Baldur came running.

“Brother! Brother!” Little Baldur beamed, hurling himself at Thor. “Did ya get me anything?! Did ya! Did ya?!”

“Hey buddy!” Thor laughed, picking the boy up, kissing him on the cheek.

“Eww!” Baldur shrieked, wiping his cheek furiously.

“Brat”

“What did ya get me huh? A bilgesnipe’s horn?!”

Thor chuckled, turning towards Frigga who stood a little away in her flowing gown of gold. She puts out her slender hand, motioning for him to come closer.

Thor place little Baldur on the floor and reached into his pocket and produce a bear’s claw. It was dark and hard, curling a little at the tip but it was sharp.

“Here…” Thor showed Baldur the claw.

“Cool!” Baldur’s eyes widened in excitement, snatching the giant claw from Thor’s hand. He stared at it for a good long moment, running his little fingers over its smooth hardness. Then he looked at Thor. “What is it?!” He asked.

Thor laughed, ruffling Baldur’s hair.

“The claw of a mighty bear that I fell” He said. “Now, go play”

Baldur did.

Thor stood to his feet and turned towards Loki who was looking warily at the queen as he always does.

“Come. Do not be rude” Thor urged and went to Frigga, his cape bellowing behind him.

Loki followed.

“Mother” Thor leans down to place a kiss on her cheek.

“Welcome home my King” Her slender finger reached to touch Thor’s face and she turns to kiss Thor on the cheek too. “There is urgent business to be discussed tonight…do not be late…” She whispered so quick and soft that Thor barely caught it before she took a step back. Then her eyes are on Loki. “Loki of Jotunheim. Welcome again” She took a step towards him.

At once Loki hissed.

“Loki!” Thor snapped in indignant.

“It’s alright” Frigga simple smile at Thor. “I forget myself. I should leave you to rest. Do you need anything?”

“No mother. But I thank you”

“It is good that you are home” She smiles. Turning towards Loki one last time, she gave him a bow and left.

The moment she was out of earshot Thor snapped his gaze back at Loki.

“What is the matter with you?” he hissed.

Loki said nothing, simply strode towards the palace.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thor was not surprised to find Loki naked in his bathroom. Loki was in his Jotun form, his fingers working on the stubborn tangles of his ebony locks. Through he did not acknowledge Thor, his scarlet eyes was staring intently at the man through the titan mirror before him.

Thor was not pleased with Loki’s earlier behavior, but he was not shock either to say the least. He came up to stand beside Loki. His eyes wondered over the Jotun’s cerulean skin.

It was the first time he had actually bothered to look upon the scars that were beautifully carved into that icy skin. There was an overwhelming urged to reach out, to trace his fingers over those raised skin, there was an urge to pressed his hands upon those cerulean skin and brush his thumb over the Jotun’s flesh. He wondered how much the ritual must have hurt… He wondered what each line, each pattern symbolizes.

Now that he was no longer fighting himself, now that he was turning the curse into a gift that could possibly unite their realm, he found that it was much easier to admit his curiosity and intrigue, and with that, a willingness and want to know more about Loki. About Jotuns beyond what was written in Aesir text by prejudicial authors.

“What do these scars mean?” Thor muttered, looking up to see those scarlet eyes looking upon him.

Thor had been so lost in his mind that he had not notice Loki watching him.

“Why the sudden curiosity?” Loki asked.

“Why not?”

“…” 

 “I’ve just never seen anything quite like it”

“Of course”

Thor thought Loki sounded a little proud about it.

“They are of Jotunheim, and only Jotunheim. You could search all the other eight realms and you will never come upon it” Loki went on.

Thor smiles. Yep, Loki is proud of them.

“So…what does this one mean?” Thor pointed to one on Loki’s shoulder.

“Ah…That one is the mark of a warrior. It shows the world that I’ve…” Loki launched into a full explanation of every pattern Thor pointed out. He was animated as he spoke.

Though Thor could not remember or even understand much of it, he let Loki continue. Pointing to the next one when Loki finished. Loki is proud of who he is… of his culture, his heritage and his identity. While Aesir sees Jotuns as something to be ashamed of, something vile, Loki was proud of it and Thor found that he liked that about Loki.

“They are all so beautiful…”  Thor said.

“Without a doubt”

“Yes…” Thor lifted his fingers and reached forth only to halt slightly over Loki’s cerulean flesh.He could feel the biting coldness digging into his skin.

"..."

“Can I touch you?” 

“Is it stirring again so soon?”

“No...I just want to touch you…” Thor looked upon Loki’s eyes that were hard and cold. “Please…”

So much unspoken words resonated behind that one syllable. So much unspoken words resonated in the silence that stretched between them.

_Give me a chance… Give us a chance… Give our realm a chance for what has been impossible before. I want to try… will you try…?_

Loki was silent for so long that Thor thought Loki would refuse, but slowly, Loki shed his Jotun skin for Aesir ones. Thor smile, his fingers curled over Loki’s forearm and his thumb brushed the underside of it. He took a step forth; his free hand reach to rest over the side of Loki’s neck, his thumb caresses the prince’s jaw line.

He could feel Loki tense against his hand, but Loki made no move to push him away which Thor took to be a promising sign.

“If only there was a way I could touch you in your true form…I would explore every part of you...” Thor whispered.

“Do you not find it revolting?” Loki challanged.

“No”

Thor did not. Whenever he looked upon Loki’s true form, he would remember the fiery Jotun that broke into Asgard. He would remember the thrill he felt when he first laid eyes upon this creature.

“If I could…I will not have you any other way…” Thor said; he leans down wishing to kiss Loki. At once a hand was at his chest.

“No!” Loki said.

Thor stilled, his heart skipped a beat.

“I-”

“No! ...You stink…” Loki said, shoving Thor away. “Come, let’s bath”

Thor let out a chuckle of relief. He took off his towel; placing them at the side of the sink, he quickly swapped them for smaller fabric and followed Loki into the massive pool of crystal water. He followed Loki till the water reached their shoulders. Then he darted forth to wrap his arms about the Jotun.

Loki gave him a shove or two, nothing too hard, but Thor released him nevertheless.

“Animal” Loki sneered.

Thor simply smiles; holding the soaked fabric up. “May I bath you?” He asked.

Loki shrugged. He did not mind being  _bathed_ normally. He had servants back in Jotunheim that did that for him when the urge to be serve arisen. But instead of water, they poured grinded ice on him and scrubbed his skin till they tingled.

Truth be told, he found Aesir’s bath uncomfortable, disturbing even...more so after  _that_  incident in the public bath. After that, he had always used Thor’s private bath (apparently only royalties are allowed to have private bathrooms). Still, he was uncomfortable enough bathing himself, let alone let someone else bath him. But he wasn’t about to admit it to Thor.

He watch Thor warily when Thor bring the soaked cloth up to clean his face, his neck, the back of his ears, scrubbing away two weeks’ worth of sweat and grim.

“Let’s get your hair soaked” Thor said gently, placing a hand over Loki’s shoulder, wishing to submerge him. At once Loki tensed against Thor’s hand.

“Thor” He breathes.

“I will not hurt you. I give you my word”

“No!”

“Aye…a moment then my prince”

Thor did not push Loki. He had observed Loki before when Loki took his bath in this chamber. Loki is frightened, terrified even if he dared say it; always staying close to the edge of the pool. He suspected that Loki had moved so far from the edge today because he did not want Thor to know his discomfort, his fears. Putting on a brave face as usual.

Thor moves towards the edge of the pool and called for his servants.

Loki could not hear what Thor was asking for but the servants were quick about it and provided Thor what he desired. Then Thor waved them off again, returning to Loki with an ivory bowl and a small vial of pearly liquid.

Loki watch Thor closely as the Aesir scooped a bowl of water and poured them over the top of his head.

Thor did this a few more times till Loki’s tresses were fully soaked before he tips the sweet smelling vial of pearly liquid over Loki’s hair. He made sure not to get them into Loki’s eyes, as he washes those midnight locks. His strong fingers massages Loki’s foamy scalp.

It took a while before Loki finally relax and close his eyes, drifting closer towards Thor. A hand move to rest over Thor’s hips, the other, gently over Thor’s chest. Whether these were conscious moves or not, Thor could not tell. Then Loki bowed his head, letting Thor work him.

A sad smile tugged against Thor’s lips at the little display of trust.

Thor may be desperate, but he is no fool. He prayed, he begged the Norns… let this be real, even just a little. Please oh please…let this not wholly be another part of Loki’s scheme…

 

 

* * *

 

 

That night at the welcome home feast Thor slipped away again once Loki had disappeared from the feasting hall as he usually did after he’d cleared his plate.

 _"Why do you not stay on? Why do you always leave before the feast is over? Is this the manners you were brought up with? Is this how you behave in Laufey's court? Is this how you behave on your dam’s feasting table?”_   Thor had asked once.

 _"No. Then again we do not dine with those who are beneath us, who are meant to serve us”_ Loki had answered.  _“Why you would invite your warriors to your table and treat them as if they are your friends I cannot understand”_

 _"Because I will not have my men die for a king they do not know”_ Thor said _._

Loki had laughed at that.

 _“And do they know you your Grace?”_ Loki asked. _“Or do they know only the mask you wear?”_

“You are late” Frigga said when Thor arrived at the council chamber.

“I apologize for keeping you all waiting” Thor said.

His councilmen nodded.

“What has happened in my absence?” Thor moved across the room to take his place beside Frigga.

Frigga shot him a disapproving glance.

“Sorry” He whispered to her.

Her lips thinned but she did not press on. She looked over the map of Jotunheim that was sprawled across the golden table. Little red pins were concentrated mostly at one particular point, the ice city. 

“These are the location of their armies from a week ago” Frigga pointed to the red pins.

“And what of now?”

“We do not know”

 _"Do not know?!"_ Thor turns to her in bewilderment, and when she offered no further explanation, he turns to regard his councilmen each in turn.They were all silent and grime, refusing to meet his eyes.

What is the meaning of this? What in Hel were they doing while he was gone?! Sleeping?!

“Explain!” Thor commanded.

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Where is he? He is late!” Byleistr snapped in annoyance, stalking from one end of Helblindi’s chamber to the other.

He is the rightful heir to the throne. He is to be king! How dare Loki keep him waiting as if he were some servant!

“Calm yourself Byleistr” Helblindi said. “With the way you stomp, you’d wear down the ice on my floor”

“Oh! Always so understanding, brother!” He sneered. “You are a fool! Loki is taking us for fools!”

Helblindi ignored Byleistr. Byleistr’s quick temper was nothing new. But truly, Loki is late. Loki who had through the weeks secretly contacted them while the Aesir drank and feasted had told them in their last meeting that he was to join the Aesir’s hunt and would not contact them again for three weeks. And it has been three weeks…right?

Helblindi secretly calculated the days again in his head, just to make sure he’d got it right.

They waited a few minutes longer when a familiar mist started clouding the chamber. There were soft echoing chants in words Helblindi could not understand and muted tinkles of bells as the fog thickens and surrounded them.

Helblindi rose to his feet when the mist twisted and curl, materializing into the Loki’s swirling visage amid his chamber.

“Finally!” Byleistr said, stepping before Loki.

“Byleistr” Loki greeted, his voice echoed.

“You are late!”

“Forgive me”

Byleistr hissed.

Helblindi shot Byleistr a glare.

“What?!” Byleistr spat.

“Mind your tongue” Helblindi hissed.

“How da-”

“The hunt was a success!” Loki said loudly, his voice seem to ring from every corner of the chamber, interrupting them.

Helblindi growled at Byleistr before turning back to Loki. “And the thunderer? Has he treated you well?”

“He is smitten”

“And you?” Byleistr cuts in coldly.

“What of me?”

“Are you not smitten as well? Spreading your legs for that beast! All knows this is not the first time you’ve resort to such measures to have what you desire! Is that why you were late?!”

“Byleistr! That is enough! Loki was late, he is here now!” Helblindi snapped.

“No!” Loki said. “Let him speak! I will hear him declare me a traitor and a whore with his tongue should he dare!”

Byleistr was silent. He did not dare. Byleistr knew that blood means nothing to Loki. Byleistr is no craven, but he is no fool either.

“Coward” Loki sneered.

Byleistr mumbled something Loki could not hear. Loki frowned, but he did not press further. He turned back to Helblindi.

“How is our army?”

“Ready. But I do not believe dam would allow you to ha-”

“You let me worry about dam”

“Yes”

“I presume Malekith has arrived with his troops?”

“Yes. But dam do not trust them”

“A fool if I’ve seen one! The dark elves are strong allies and yet dam does nothing to gain Malekith’s favor! A fool I tell you!” Byleistr said.

“Have care how you speak Byleistr!” Helblindi growled warningly. He will hear no slight against their dam! He will not tolerate it! Laufey is their dam and king and they have sworn allegiance to him! 

“I speak the truth! Dam has seen too many winters his mind must be going if you ask me!”

“Shut up! You know not what you speak!” Helblindi spat.

“Oh truly?! Why?!” He challenged. “Because I am the youngest I know nothing?! I’m always the fool am I?!”

“You know nothing of war! You were born in a time of peace!”

“A time of ruin!”

“Ruin?! I was born in the middle of a war! You wish to speak of ru-”

“Enough! Both of you!” Loki bellowed, commanding silence.

He turns first to address Helblindi.

“Helblindi…” Loki smiles a sad smile. “Indeed you are a man of honor among monsters”

“Are you mocking me?”

“No…it is what defines you…Never forget that, and never let anyone tell you otherwise” Loki told him.

There are so many things he wished he hadn’t done. There are so many things he wished he hadn’t known, hadn’t seen or be made to do… But it is too late to turn back now. It is too late to feel regret. He had come too far for anything else. He had paid the price for power, and power, he will have.

“…”

“And Byleistr…” Loki turns to regard him. “Dam is right, Malekith is not to be trusted”

“But yo-”

“I do not trust him, but as you say, he is not a force to be reckoned with. We need him. But make no mistake that he can and will betray us at any opportunity” Loki warns.

“If you say so…” Byleistr murmured in displeasure.

They all took him for fools, he knows it. Loki more than any others, he just knows it. Loki the golden child. The favored child! The greatest treasure of Jotunheim!

And he, Byleistr… he is nothing more than a pretty face! He is the fool prince not to be taken seriously!

“Byleistr…” Loki calls gently.

“What?”

“Tell me…How goes your project with the ice city?” Loki asked.

At once, Byleistr lit up as Loki knew he would. Loki let him speak to his heart’s desire, smiling and asking questions at the right places even if he could not give a damn about it. He wanted to make Byleistr happy.

Byleistr who had always tried so hard to impress their dam and sire when there was no need for it; who had always felt inferior, and who Loki knew has always looked upon him with bitterness and jealousy.

Loki may not remember what it is to love anyone, but he is not cruel.

A smile touched Helblindi’s lips as he watched Byleistr proudly tell Loki all that he had done. For this few moments, Helblindi can pretend that everything is fine. He can pretend that they are not hurdling into an inevitable war, and that he has Loki back as a brother once again, rather than a ruthless creature that sees only the end. It is moments like these that Helblindi refused to give up on Loki.

His brother is still in that shell somewhere… he is in there still. He must believe in this, because no one else did anymore. And if even he would stop believing in it, then Loki will truly be lost forever.  

 

 

* * *

 

Thor lay in bed silently, staring at nothing. His mind restlessly turns over details from the meeting. They could not see Jotunheim any longer. They are utterly blind now. Jotunheim could invade Asgard tonight and they would be none the wiser until their warriors were knocking down their doors.

The tournament has been brought forward, the ceremony where Thor would announce his consort has been brought forward. Warriors and royalties of other realms would be here in less than two weeks.

Thor debated if this was a good time for such a major event. Frigga was of the view that perhaps this event is the only thing that is halting a full blown war with Jotunheim. Jotunheim would not risk war when foreign royalties are on Asgard. They would not risk hurting them least incurring the wrath of those other realms.

Thor heaved a sigh.

 _“Perhaps it is time we speak with Laufey”_   He had suggested in the meeting.

His men had cried out in fury.

 _“We do not speak with mindless beast!”_   They had all cried out in one voice.  _“You forget yourself boy!” “The Jotun whore has tainted your mind!” “Fool! Fool! You are a fool who thinks with your cock rather than your head!” “It has bewitched you! That slut!”_

The beast had stirred, screamed in roaring rage. His ears had rang, his mind wrenched from his body and he could remember no more. He could vaguely remember himself shouting like a mad man.

“Thor! Thor!” Frigga had held onto him, placating him. Or at least that was what it looked like to the others, where in actuality, he knew that Frigga had whispered enchantment to calm the monster, bringing him back.

 _“Treasonous fool!”_ He remembered himself shrieking when he tore free from that murderous haze of red.

Norns… He fell to his knees then in a sort of daze. He could not speak…he could not think. Everything around him was buzzing so loudly. But he knew in horror, that the beast would have had them all executed, their bodies quartered, cast to every corner of the realm and their heads on spikes if Frigga had not step in.

 _“The king is exhausted. The meeting will continue tomorrow!”_  Frigga had declared. _“And should I hear even a whisper of this, none of you will like what happen next!”_

Thor closed his eyes in exhaustion.  _“Is there truly no way to stop this…?”_ He wondered.

He rolled to his side, trying to sleep though sleep did not find him. He laid there for what must have been hours before he hears the soft creek of his door. He did not need to open his eyes to know who it was. Only Loki would enter his room unannounced.

So many questions flashed though his rabid mind but still he remained silent. He listens to the rustling of clothes being dropped onto the ground and then he hears boots being taken off. Not long after, Loki climbs into his bed and went under the covers. Then there was silence.

Loki was so silent and still for so long that Thor thought Loki had fallen asleep when Loki spoke. “Lay with me…” He said softly.

Without opening his eyes, Thor rolled over to lay atop Loki’s back, his arms shifted to embrace the Jotun beneath him.

“Better…?” Thor murmured.

“Um”   

Thor did not ask where Loki has been or what he has been doing till such an hour. He finds that he did not want to know. He feared the insinuation behind those questions more than the answer itself.

If he had asked what Loki had been doing or where he has been for these pass hours, he would have to acknowledge that nothing is fine between them, that nothing is fine with anything. He would have to acknowledge that Loki is the enemy; acknowledge that Loki might be playing him for a fool even now… and Thor could not bear that thought; because he needed Loki.

He tightened his hold.

He is terrified…so terrified, because he knows he is losing himself.

 

 

* * *

 

Over the next few days the palace was bustling with maids running in all directions. Orders were being barked across the hall and arguments broke at all hours of the day. The drapes were of the wrong color, the flowers were of the wrong sort or perhaps they were place in the wrong vase. The floors, the windows, everything needed to be cleaned and the gold polished.

Where are the silvers? Where are those new plates that were brought in not a week ago?! The princesses and warriors from the other realms would be here in less than a week, everything needed to be redone!

The head servant was a little stout woman who has a loud projecting voice. A fiery little thing, and she was ready to pull her lovely locks out and shout herself hoarse in frustration. She even shrieked at Loki once when Loki took an apple from one of those decorative fruit bowls that seem to be lying all around the palace.

“Put it back now!” She had snapped, wrenching the apple from Loki’s grip and placing it back into the bowl.

It took a moment for Loki to snap out of his shock. And when he did he was furious. He took the entire bowl in spite earning him a world of pain.

That stout woman had the nerve to hold him by his ear and screamed at him till he puts it down again before she threw him out of that chamber. He could have fought back, but he had been too shock for anything else but to obey.

Thor heard of it later that day from one of the gossiping maids and laughed his head off.

Loki stayed away from the main part of the palace that was turning into a war zone as the days dwindled by and he wore his Jotun skin. At least that damnable woman would not be holding him by his ear again. He spends most of his days in the high balcony overseeing the training ground when he wasn’t sneaking around the palace or the golden city under a disguise. He watches Thor and Sif mostly. But Sif was missing today, there was only Thor.

He watched Thor spar with Fandral, the best swordsman he had seen by far. Thor was clearing struggling to keep up when he was armed with a sword rather than his hammer.

Fandral was light on his feet, fast and agile while Thor was more rigid. Thor stumbled back when Fandral slams his heels against Thor’s chest. It took but a second before Thor was charging again.

 _"Fool"_  Loki thought.

Loki was so focused on the match that he did not notice another presence with him on the balcony until a voice spoke. “Why do you not join them?” The voice asked, almost shocking Loki out of his skin.

He turned at once to see Frigga standing a little away from him. He hissed, his scarlet eyes narrowed intently as he watches her every move.

Loki could still feel that same icy ambiance of death surrounding the Queen, suggesting that she had been practicing the dark arts. He had recognized it at once on the first day back from the hunt. And he did not want her anywhere near him then and now. He did not trust her.

She is a deadly weapon, a viper, when she wills it. Of all beings on Asgard, Loki finds her the most cunning and dangerous. 

“Are you watching Thor again? Or is it Sif?” She smiles gently, moving towards the balcony.

Loki hissed, stepping back as the Queen placed her slender fingers over the silver rail.

“Ah…” She looked down. “Thor was never very good with swords. He lacks patience” She watched Fandral knock the weapon out of Thor’s hand. “But I am sure you already know that” Frigga turns to regard Loki.

Her face was gentle, her eyes soft and kind, but Loki was not fooled for even a second. This is a woman that means to destroy him. And if he is not careful, she would succeed.

“Tell me Loki, what do you desire?” Frigga asked.

“You who watch me from the shadows for all the time that I am on Asgard… do not deny it...Tell me Queen of Asgard, what do you think?”

“Clever boy. But because you know this…I presume I do not see all that is true at all times” Frigga said.

“Hmm…”

“But I still think Loki, that you are a merely a boy wishing to prove your worth to your people, hoping that they will put a crown on your head” Frigga said. “We can give it to you…the crown… Tell me with your lips that that is what you desire, and it will be yours”

“And how would you do it? Will you unseat my dam and slaughter my kin and all who dare speak against me?” Loki tilts his head.

“It can be done”

“And what do you ask in return?”

“That you leave Asgard in peace”

“Ah…” Loki smirks. Flames seem to flicker within the depths of his scarlet eyes. “You are offering to give me a crown…a wonderful offer... But... it isn’t that I do not trust Aesir…It’s just…I don’t” He mocks

“You are a fool” Frigga said. “You forget that you are nothing but a  _runt_ ”

“Watch your tongue, witch!” Loki hissed; his fingers curled.

Frigga should have stopped at  _fool._  Call him a fool, a slut, a whore,  _ergi_  even, he would let it slide…but a runt...

Frigga was unfazed, looking Loki straight in the eyes.

“Am I mistaken?” She challenged. “You are a runt! A shame of Laufey’s house! They will never accept you. They will never respect you. They will never see you as anything but an embarrassment! You will never have the cro-”

“Silence!” Loki screamed, rounding at her.

How dare she speak such vile! He will have their approval! He will! Once he delivers them Odin’s head! Once he delivers them Asgard they will cheer his name!

“You think I can be bought by your sweet promi-”

“I know you can. You have no honor even among monsters. You are a monster among monsters” Frigga said.

Loki lips curled; his fingers tightened.

"Beast!" Frigga hissed.

“Perhaps. But I need no crown given by you. What is given can be taken away” He steps closer, towering over Frigga. “No…I do not need your army. When I’ve paid the price of blood, I will take my crown! And then I will make you watch as I violate Thor, your beloved! Your golden child! The perfect king!”

“Enough!” Frigga backhands Loki, her nails sliced his Jotun skin drawing blood.

Loki accepted it with a smile design to irritate.

“You will lose everything Jotun” Frigga said, her eyes a fire. “Hear me now Loki of Jotunheim! There is nothing I will not do for my family. For Asgard!”

“And there is nothing I will not do for Jotunheim” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys will forgive me on my take on Frigga. I've read so many (in my opinion), overly understanding, overly forgiving, sweet, tender and gentle Frigga (which i find unrealistic and rather annoying - seems to suggest that everyone else that isn't like her is a bad/horrible person). She is still loving here, but she has a darker side too. (i find flawed characters more interesting. so i'm justifying here) 
> 
> Please forgive me. 
> 
> She is not perfect here. She also knows anger, jealousy, bitterness and reacts to them in less than ideal ways; sometimes driven by emotions more than logical thoughts.
> 
> Imperfect characters are interesting to me. ^^


	11. Family, Duty and Honor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! Hope you guys have a great one.

Flickering candles stood in rows, surrounding the chamber, illuminating the entire place in a sort of soothing dimness. An iron cauldron stood amid the blood red runes that spread across the white marble floor.

Golden curtains fluttered and shimmer as Frigga’s lovely voice rose into the heavens. Her song whispered, resonating from all about her as she draws the stain of Loki’s blood from her fingers and nails. Shimmering red threads floated and curl, concentrating till it was one tiny red drop hovering over Frigga’s palm.

Loki’s blood was the only thing she had difficulty procuring to complete her potion…well, not anymore.

She smiles and drops it into the simmering cauldron.

At once, smoke and fog began to rise, pouring over, and enveloping the entire floor in a veil of mist. The content morphed to red of blood. Shadows rose from the walls, snuffing the rows of candles in a howl of wind.

Frigga was unafraid, standing with her back straight and head held high even when she felt cold malevolent stirring about her. Brushing her skin and whispering into her mind of power unimaginable. Such is the dark art, the more you delve into them the more you will be ensnared by it, tempted by the power it offers and the deeper you will drown in its seas of darkness until it rips your soul apart and drag you down into the realm of the death.

The dark art is powerful, but it comes with the price of life… The question has always been, how much will you sacrifice for what you desire?

Frigga lifted her hand and with a snap of her fingers the hundreds of candles burst back to life. She turns to her lady in waiting that stood shivering in fear just beyond the bloody runes. Eir was her name. Like most Aesir women, her long trickling locks were the color of gold, curled slightly at the end. Her face was fair and young, oval and sharp. A maiden Thor would surely bed.

“Iduun’s apple” Frigga said and Eir held it up in her slender hand. “Do not let go”

"Yes my Lady"

"Do not let go" Frigga said again and started singing in the same manner as Iduun. It was a different song, but her voice too was just as lovely and sad, and it filled the entirety of the chamber. The veils shimmered and glowed, the ground shook, scarlet tendrils rose from the blood red runes.

Eir held her breath, her fingers tightened over the golden apple that was starting to sheer her palm. She whimpered her eyes darting from side to side in fear as blood red tendrils slithered and surrounded her, curling, trickling over the golden fruit in her hand. There was something foul in its color, in its presence, but she held still.

Slowly gradually, golden threads were being coaxed, pulled from the apple in her hand.

Eir snapped her eyes shut.

Frigga continued singing loudly, her slender fingers guiding those threads towards the cauldron. More and more threads were being pulled until it enveloped the entirety of the space and it swirled all around them, whistling loudly.

Eir did not know how long it took, but when she heard a shrill cry and snapped her eyes opened, Frigga had stopped singing. The thread had all vanished, the once golden apple in her hand were the color of night.

“No!” Eir screamed in horror when she saw Frigga laying the ground.

She dropped the foul fruit, shattering it to ash and ran towards her Queen.

“My Lady! My Lady! Please no!” She begged.

When she reached the Queen, she gasped in utter horror. Frigga’s looked millennial older, and her golden locks were as white as snow and her cheeks hollow.

“Oh! Oh my lady!” Eir dropped her knees.

Her shaky fingers reached out meaning to touch Frigga when suddenly Frigga’s eyes snapped apart; her fingers flew to latch against Eir’s throat. The force shoving Eir on her back and Frigga atop her.

Eir cried out.

Frigga tightened her grip. Her cerulean eyes were a fire, her snowy tresses, trickled down the side of her wrinkled face. She was shaking, panting even.

"My Queen!” Eir coughed, her fingers curled desperately over Frigga’s wrist as she struggled and twisted; trying to pry Frigga’s fingers from her.

Frigga was strong despite her appearance.

“It is an honor to die for Asgard” Frigga hissed, her nails dug into the side of Eir’s neck, drawing blood.

With one last look at Eir, her loyal servant, Frigga closes her eyes and incites the incantation. Her voice changed as she chanted, her chamber shook, the veils bellowed as a great gust of wind funneled, clawing against her features.

Eir’s screams echoed, resonated terrifyingly in Frigga’s mind but she did not stop. Loud ringing blared in her ears, heat sheered up her arms, ripped through her body, but she held on, her nails dug the girl’s flesh.

Gradually, the whiteness of Frigga’s locks were golden again, the wrinkles on her face vanished. And she stopped.

She opened her eyes and Eir is dead... Her beauty and youth gone, and her hair were white.

Frigga released her, standing to her feet, as young, as beautiful and as powerful as she was before the ritual.

“To Valhalla you go…” She whispered.

Frigga refused to feel guilt; she refused to feel shame even as she looked upon her once servant. This is for Asgard…

The curse Loki wove with his black magic, the price for such power… Loki would have had to damn his soul to Hel to procure it. To undo it, an equal payment would have to be made. Equal exchange.

The ritual to create a potion that will free Thor will condemn no souls; instead, she will sacrifice lives. Seven lives will be taken to undo it. Usually it is the lives of the seven sorceresses performing it that will be taken. But Frigga will not sacrifice her life, and she will certainly not trust such secret that Asgard could possibly have a mad king on the throne to another six sorcerer. So…what years the spell would take at every stage, she will drain them back from her sacrifice.

Eir is the third maiden. Four more to go.

All of them should be honored for the privilege of dying for Asgard and her King. With that thought, she snapped her fingers and set Eir’s corpse afire.

 

* * *

 

Finally the halls were all cleaned, new curtains draped on all windows and all the gold and silvers were polished. Bouquets of freshly picked flowers decorated the halls and chambers. Thor walked the silent hall, nodding and smiling to the servants that were still cleaning the last of the windows for good measure. Their guest would be here by noon the next day.

Asgard had not held such an extravagant event since his birth, or so he was told. It is only natural that everyone would be restless, and truth be told, so was he.

He wished his father was here to guide him. To tell him that all would be well, that all would work out in the end. He needed some sort of assurance even if it would be a lie.

He heaved a sigh as he entered into the grand ballroom where a dinner would be held tomorrow night.

It was dark and as silent as the grave, but he could still make out the decorations that lavish the grand chamber of gold and silver. He walked the length of the marble table, dragging his fingers over the finely carved chairs. His feet tapped the marble ground as he move towards one of the monstrous window that surround the circular space.

It was the night of a crescent moon. The stars littered over the entire heaven like diamonds, twinkling down upon Asgard in all her breath-taking beauty.

His father once told him that the stars were souls of the dead. And they are watching over them. His mother…not Frigga, but his birth mother…she is up there watching over him.

When he was a toddler, barely reaching his father’s waist, his father would tell him stories of his birth mother… Fjörgyn was her name. And when he was upset, his father would tell him that Fjörgyn was watching.

 _You are not alone. She is watching you_ … he would say. _She sees you, she loves you always_ ….he would say.

That was before Frigga opened her arms to him. But once she did, he seems to think of Fjörgyn less and less and eventually he stopped thinking of the woman he had never met while loving the woman who cursed her very existence.

 _Do not feel guilty Thor_ … His father told him when he confessed. _It is not wrong to not want to be lonely_. _It is not wrong to want to feel loved. It is not wrong to want a mother that is flesh and blood. No matter what you do, what you decide…she will love you always…Never forget that. You are so loved Thor..._

A small smile tugged against Thor’s lips as he placed a hand over the glassy window, his cerulean eyes upon the midnight sky. He wondered not for the first time if Fjörgyn was proud of the man he grew to become, or was she ashamed of him.

“Should you hear me now Fjörgyn, should there still be mercy in your heart…then should the sky be filled with fire and blood…keep watching over Frigga’s son” Thor said quietly.

He will not call himself Fjörgyn son, for he had never known her and thus, had never loved her.

Thor was turning to leave when he noticed a familiar silhouette standing in the shadow.

“Loki” Thor smiles.

“Thor…” Loki steps out from the shadows.

Silver light caressing over his cerulean skin as he steps closer towards the window. Blood red eyes grazing over Thor warily.

"..." 

“Tell me, the Mighty Thor...To know that you are fated to lose. To know that all would end in blood and fire no matter how hard you try…Your grace…To whom then does a God and a King appeal for mercy?” Loki asked. “I would say the Norns… But the Norns have no mercy…that’s why they are Norns! The destiny they weave, the architect of your destruction”

"Am I suppose to be afraid?"

"You should be"

“Is that right?"

"Hmp..."

"Look...I do not know my fate…I do not know my destiny and I do not seek to know them. All fate and destiny comes to a single ending, and that is death. We all must die in the end” Thor said, putting on his enchanted glove.

“Do you not wish to know what is to come?”

“No…I do not scheme endlessly for a future that is uncertain, dwell on the past that is unchanging so much that I forget to live in the present that truly matters”

“…”

“You can only live in the present” He extended his gloved hand to Loki.

Loki stilled, eyes darting from Thor’s outstretched hand to his face, as if looking for some sort of trickery.

“Dance with me my prince” Thor said.

“I…I don’t dance” Loki took a step back.

“Then I will teach you” Thor shifted at once towards Loki and took his hand.

“Thor” Loki wrenched his hand away, his eyes widened; his entire body tensed even as Thor pulled him close and place a hand over his waist.

“Calm down…” Thor soothed. “You don’t have to dance in the upcoming weeks if you do not wish to…but let me teach you”

“Why?” Loki frowned.

There is no reason for this nonsense if it will serve no purpose. Jotuns have never been one for musical nonsense. It has no survival value; it is one knowledge that Loki never seek to know.

“Because I want to” Thor said. Cerulean meets scarlet.

Loki tightened his jaws; he was silent for a moment before giving a light nod.

“You won’t regret it” Thor beamed. “Now put your left hand on my shoulder” Loki was uncertain. But slowly he placed his icy hand over Thor’s armour. He did not rest his weight on the metal least giving Thor frostbite, but just enough so that Thor could feel his weight.

It would have been easier if he had done this in his Aesir form, but for some reason he could not explain, he wanted his first _dance_ to be in his true skin, in his true face. Not the visage of another man, another creature. And there was a flutter in his belly and twinge in his chest that he could not understand when Thor took his right hand with a gentleness that contrasted his strength and build. But Loki’s entire body was still tense and his every muscle hard.

“Don’t be afraid. There is no one here…it’s just me...” Thor whispered.

“I’m not afraid” Loki said.

Thor smiled knowingly. “Alright…We are going to start with a simple one, and we are going to count” Thor told Loki.

Loki gave a nod. And so they began. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven and eight. And again and again.

 

* * *

 

In the darkness of the night, Farbauti lay silently in their bed staring at the small of Laufey’s back for what seems like hours. Laufey had not spoken to him much since Malekith’s arrival and he had stubbornly presented himself to their guest. He reached forth to touch Laufey’s back.

“I know you are awake. Speak to me Laufey” Farbauti said.

Laufey heaved a sigh and rolled over to lay on his back.

“What is it?” Laufey looked at Farbauti.

“You are angry still” Farbauti said.

“Of course I am! You defy my command and still defy it! You put our child in danger every ti-”

“Enough!” Farbauti hissed, sitting up, glowering at Laufey. “I do not wish to argue with you! You need to remember that I too am a warrior! I fought with you in the war!”

“I do not forget”

“You act like you do”

“Look! I ju-”

“Yes! You just wish to protect me. To protect our child! I understand. But you need to remember that I am a soldier. I am a warrior! You cannot command me to hide while you and our children fight!”

Laufey closes his eyes, pushing himself up to sit too.

“Farbauti…” He looked upon him with a sort of desperation as if he could somehow willed Farbauti to see things his way, to agree with him, to understand his fears. “If I could…I would command you away. As far away to the North of Jotunheim as there is, away from the battlefield. In fact I would wish to command all our children away to hide, most especially Loki if I could” Laufey confessed.

"..."

“Our children…Loki, Helblindi, Byleistr…they know not the true meaning and devastation of war. Singers make much of kings and warriors that die in battles…they glorify them. No doubt I bet our children thought it grand. But you are not them…I thought perhaps you would understand that all of your lives are worth more than songs and poems…!” He bowed his head. “To me at least…”

Truth, in the beginning, he was ready to risk everything to take Loki back. He was ready to burn worlds for his child. He was ready to pay that blood debt long due...He was ready to risk Jotunheim, everything. The thought of vengence was sweet; but as time passed, as the planning goes and more and more facts were laid on the table to be considered... he was no longer sure what he was willing to risk. All he wanted was to protect his family... Vengeance be damn. It is not worth to wage a war over bruised pride.

“Laufey…listen to me” Farbauti said. “Should we lose; the Aesir will sack our cities. Our people killed and raped, children enslaved…and Loki, Helblindi, Byleistr, You…me…they will not rest until they find us all. And when they do, they will rip this child from my belly and have our heads on spikes at our front door should we be lucky”

“The Aesir only need my head” Laufey looked upon Farbauti.

Farbauti snorted. “You fool yourself if you think time have made them kinder. On the contrary…And that child king is not Odin. Like the rest of his kind, we are not even people in his eyes. He will kill us all! And if I am to die, I would rather die on the field than cowering in a cave!”

“I’ve heard that he is much like Odin. He is honorable”

At that Farbauti laughs.

“Honor?” He sneered. “Laufey… Odin have honor. But that did not stop his soldiers from raping our people, slaughtering our children and torturing our soldiers as they plunder and burn our cities back then! And now…I can assure you, this boy King’s honor is going to be worth less than Odin’s”

“...”

"Honor's not worth a dime in war Laufey!"

"There need not be a war...I could simply return the casket for Loki. It is still not too late"

"And have our realm die a slow death?!"

"..."

"Our realm have not been more alive than in these pass few months Laufey! Do you wish to tell our people that it will all end?! That we would return to that crumbling, dying state for the sake of one?!" He demanded.

"..."

Farbauti curled his lips when Laufey remained silent.

"If you truly do not want war..." Faubauti said. "Then as long as Loki stays...that boy King hadn't the balls to attack us. I say let him keep Loki"

"Are you mad?!" Laufey cried at once. "This is our child! I will not sacrifice our child!"

"Ah...so that's the truth..." He cocks his head and caresses Laufey's cheek with the back of his dark nails.

"Farb-"

"You use to be ruthless. You use to understand sacrifice…and now…you are old and weak" Farbauti said quietly. "Your love for us blinds you from what must be done…it cripples you"

"Even monsters love, Farbauti" His hand reached up to cup his mate's features tenderly.

Farbauti did not relent. He cannot! He cannot relent to Laufey's sentiment. Sentiments do not win wars. War is won by clear minds and strong leaders who are willing to sacrifice if need be. He loves his children no less than Laufey. But sometimes, hard decisions need to be made.

"Then we go to war..." Farbauti said. "And make them pay in blood"

 

 

* * *

 

Loki stood still with his arms spread as the servants dressed him in the finest fur and gold Asgard has to offer. Made with the design of his choice of course. He may be on Asgard but he is still a Jotun Prince and he will dress like one. The servants were careful not to touch his skin when they dressed him under his instructions, least he burns them. Where touch is inevitable, they used seid to move the fur.

Sif leans against the bed post as the maids weave threads of gold and gems of all colors into Loki’s long silken locks. Blood red eyes watched her.

“Lower your head a little” One of the maids said, tugging a tuff of Loki’s hair.

Loki did, but his eyes never left Sif. He watched the hard line of her body, the tightness in her jaws, the way of her hands cross her chest and the way she held herself. She wasn’t even watching him. In fact, Loki would say that she couldn’t even stand the sight of him.

“Why are you here Lady Sif?” Loki asked.

“The Queen will not have you hurt her servants and none would serve you unprotected. You do have a temper. That is known”

 “Ah….and it angers you to be given a fool’s job?”

His question startled Sif and she straightened up, turning to look at him finally. “No. I am glad to serve my Queen”

“But you are angry”

“Of course not” She smiled, but Loki could see that it was a false smile.

Loki lowered his hands, turning to regard the servants. “Leave us for a moment” He commanded.

They bowed and hurriedly left the room. Sif tightened her jaw, her obsidian eyes afire as she looked upon Loki.

The Jotun was simply looking at her, not speaking, not moving. Though she would never admit it, but she has always found the way he looked upon anything, intimidating. It was as if those blood red eyes could see through anything and everything. It was as if those blood red eyes could see through her. She looked away, lowering her gaze.

“You cannot even bear to look upon me can you? Why?”

She did not answer him. Truth, she could not even bare to be in the same room as him now. Jotuns…with flesh that burns, eyes like blood and skin the color of frostbitten corpse. Jotuns are as different from beings of all the other realms as can be. So much so…that it was always easier to look upon them as animals, beasts and monsters.

Why do you think no one helped them after the war? Why is it that they are isolated? Why do you think that no one spoke of them? And when they are spoken of, Jotuns were always depicted as mindless beast to be tamed, to be taken as trophies. No one negotiate with them. The very notion itself is a joke.

After all, Gods do not negotiate or trade with beast. What a God wants from them, it will be taken. And yet… Loki. A full blooded Jotun runt stood in a better position than her to be Thor’s consort.

She who had spent half her life loving Thor could only at most be his conquest. Not his woman, and never his Queen.

“I see you…” Loki whispered those familiar words again. “I will make you Queen. I will see that you stand above those who look down upon you”

Sif snorted at that. “Do not promise what you cannot deliver”

“I will deliver my Lady” Loki said.

“…”

“My Queen”

Sif tensed. She opened her lips to say something, but no words left her tongue. Loki had silence her with those traitorous words again… Those sweet lies again. But the way Loki spoke them, the way he says her name, the way he looked at her whenever he says those words… it sounded so real. And to a degree it terrifies her. How will he deliver if he spoke the truth? And why her? Why? She is no lady, but Loki makes her feel like one.

He makes her feel beautiful and perfect and wanted. Ever since that kiss at that feast where Thor had then stomped over and dragged Loki away, there has been a stirring in her. Loki had awakened something in her, something that had been sleeping for so long she could not even remember when.

Loki should not have kissed her…And she should not have let it happen. But she did not regret it. And now, she could not deny that lying on her bed at night, she found herself wondering how it would be to have a man lie beside her; a man to wake up to, a man to come home to… a man who would hold her and kiss her, and whisper sweet nothing into her ears.  And sometimes she would close her eyes and dream of that man. But it was never Loki she dreamed of. Her lovers were always bigger, more muscular, golden in hair and tender, though his face remained a shifting shadow. Once so tormented she woke up, and when she slips her fingers between her legs, she gasped at how wet she was. She wrenched her fingers away in shame.

She did not want to admit that she missed being held by another man. She did not want to admit that she is lonely.

She wanted to believe that she did not desire the touch of another man. She refused to change her ways, she refused to abandon her sword, and she refused to abandon herself...

Of course she need not abandon anything if Thor would return to her bed. Thor accepts her, as she is.

She was a damn fool. She should not have been so quick to kick Thor out of her bed when she heard the rumors. The things others spoke behind her back…They will always speak, there will always be rumors. She should have let them wag their tongues to their desires. Let them speak what they wish... Let them say that she is only allowed on the ring because she pleasures Thor between the sheets. That she is nothing more than a pretty face…

She should have ignored them and shame them on the ring when she dump those chauvinistic pigs on their asses. But she had been rash and hot-tempered. If there was one thing she regretted, it was that.

“My dearest Sif…” Loki whispered.

“What do you see in me Loki?” Sif asked. _“You are manipulating me. It is not me that you want. It is Thor… I can see it in the way you look at him. The way you watch him when he does not see you”_  

“I see a mirror” Loki said.

Before Sif could answer, Loki called the servants in again and turned away from Sif, stepping before a full length mirror. He spread his arms when the servants came to him. It was almost time for the dinner when Loki was finally done. And he looked every bit the prince of Jotunheim as he did back home.

Snowy white furs adorned with gold and emeralds were strapped across his hips. Gold and gems weaved into his long jet black locks that cascade down his shoulders and back. Gold circlets slithered beautifully over his horns and he wore black leather gloves that cover the entire length of his forearm, enchanted with seid least be burns himself. His broken vambrance had been replaced and on it was the sigil of Laufey’s house. Let none forget his House, let none forget his name.

“I will escort you tonight” Sif said.

“Why? Am I expected to be attack?” He took a thin black veil lined with emeralds from the servant beside him and puts them across his face, covering the lower half of his features.

“No. It is just for security” Sif told him.

“I may have a temper. But I am no fool, you need not worry”

“Come” Sif opened the door.

Loki gave one last look at the mirror and strode out of Thor’s chamber. Sif followed him, her hands close by the hilt of her sword.

The other realms had not seen a Jotun in millenniums. To the other realms, a dog would sooner belong on the feasting table before a Jotun. Ridicule and scorn were already being whispered among the royal guests at the very notion that Thor would allow a Jotun to join them tonight. Loki may be no fool, but neither the Queen nor Thor was willing to take the risk.

 

 

* * *

 

Dinner was a private affair. Only the King of each realm was invited. Their wives and children would dine in another hall. And only tomorrow would Thor have a glance at his potential consort. Loki is no King but he was given an exception to attend. And of course Frigga would be there too.

Loki took a deep breath when the ornate door leading to the feasting hall swung open. He was told that he would enter and he would be standing at the top of the stairs where he would be announced. Only then would be descend from the steps.

“Go” Sif said.

Loki step forth pass the door and his eyes widened at the magnificent sight that meets his eyes. Before him were windows that stretched from the ground all the way to the very height of the chambers. Curtains of red and gold were drawn back to reveal the beauty of the heavens above and at the base of the step where there ought to be marble floors, it was enchanted to show shifting visage of beauty of the other realms seen from high above. For a moment he saw the ice city of Jotunheim in its glory days, the golden trees…the magnificent ice citadel as he had only seen in books, temples that were burn in the war…

There was a tap on his shoulder. He blinked; the scenery had shifted to show Vaneheim in all her luxury.  

“Go on” She hissed, nodding towards the stairs. Only then did Loki realize that they have already announced him.

He looked back down and saw the four foreign Kings looking at him in silent amusement.

“The poor thing is frightened” Someone laughed but Loki did not notice who. He clenched his jaws.

“Come my prince” Thor was waiting for him at the base of the step. “Come” Thor extended his hand. And that is that.

The dinner started without incident but as meads and wine continue to flow through the night, tongues began to loosen and courtesies forgotten. And Thor had never been more grateful of Frigga’s sharp wits and silver tongue.

The King of Vanaheim, Bjorn was his name. He was a rather plump man, bald and red-faced. With a belly full of wine he does have a rather uncouth tongue that would not stop wagging.

“Why haven’t ya crush that stinking piece of shit of a realm boy?!” He demanded. “Those beasts broke into your vault from what I hear!”

“We will not go to war unless they give us no choice. We have decided to wait and see what would come of it.” Frigga said.

The King shook his head, gulping down his goblet of wine. “The gentle hearts of woman” He sneered. “That’s why ruling is the domain of men!” He looked at Thor with his blood shot eyes, scrutinizing him. “What do ya think boy?!”

“I will not have my men die when there is no need” Thor said as politely as he could.

Bjorn shook his head. “Mama’s boy are ya! Have I engaged my daughter to a soft mama’s boy huh?!”

“Goodness gracious! Calm yourself man! You are speaking to a King, not some stable boy” The King of Muspelheim came to the rescue. He wasn’t so drunk yet that he forget his manners.

He flashed Thor a grin. He was a man with black beard and a head full of long wavy hair, all pulled back in a low ponytail. A tan skin, red eyes and a sharp face.

“It is quite alright sweet Hakon” Frigga smiled.

Thor rather liked Hakon a lot more than Bjorn.

As for the Elven King, Leif, Thor was rather uncomfortable about him. He was stoic, silent and rather cold with an air of superiority about him. Long golden hair and piercing blue eyes with a beautiful oval face. His voice seemed like music and his movements were fluid like liquid. He watches and watches, never saying much. But Thor had a feeling that the King of Alfheim disapprove of him as a son-in-law.

“How do you find the meal?” Thor had asked.

“I suppose they will have to do” The Elven King had said. And the way he looked at Thor, it was as if Thor were some dirt beneath his feet. And at Loki, that was even worst. It was a look of pure disgust.

“Do not worry…You’ve done nothing inappropriate. The light elves always think themselves superior to all other race” Frigga assured Thor when Thor wondered if he had somehow offended Leif.

The Dwarf King, Valgard…a little man with a head full of braided hair and a long grey bushy beard… Norns be good, but Valgard is a thief!

Thor swore he’d seen the King of Nidavellir slip his golden goblet into his massive sleeves while demanding that his cup kept disappearing. Frigga shot Thor a warning look when he meant to point out that those _'magical'_ disappearing goblets were in his sleeves after the third cup had vanished.

“Dwarves love gold Thor. We’ve prepared plenty, let him take what he wish” Frigga whispered to him.

And Loki, Loki has been eerily silent, though his eyes were murderous as they glare daggers at the obnoxious Vanir king. The King had so far called Loki a bitch, a slut, a beast, a monster, a swine and names Thor couldn’t even remember.

Suddenly the Vanir king slams his goblet on the table so loud that it startled Thor and spilled what little were in his goblet all over his stubby fingers.

“Does the drink not satisfy you your Grace?” Thor asked.

“Are you mad?!” Bjorn cried. “This is the best wine I’ve tasted in centuries!”

“I’m glad that it pleases you your Grace”

Bjorn groaned, turning his gaze back again at Loki.

Thor tensed. Not again. He’d glad to keep the Vanir occupied with him. Bjorn has nothing good to say to a Jotun. Well, no one had a thing good to say to a Jotun but at least they keep it to themselves mostly even when drunk.

“Your Gra-”

“Later boy!” Bjorn waved at Thor as if Thor were some pesky fly. “I’m speaking to this dog now”

“What is it now, your Grace?” Loki asked sweetly.

Behind him Sif tense, her fingers curled over the hilt of her sword.

“You!“ Bjorn growled. “An animal at the dinner table. In my days animals sit by their master’s feet begging for scraps!”

“Perhaps your days are over and you are old and senile” Loki said.

At once the Vanir king roared in anger, standing to his feet.

“Your Grace, compose yourself! This is not a tavern!” Frigga cried.

Thor was already on his feet, putting a steady hand on the King. All eyes were on them. Bjorn was red faced, puffing and fuming.

Loki hissed, baring his teeth beneath the thin veil. His scarlet eyes narrowed and he too slowly rose to his feet. He let his blood red eyes grazed over the King’s face, his eyes, his narrow aristocratic nose, and round face.

“What are you looking at huh?” Bjorn spat.

“Your face” Loki said. “A big man with hollow words. I will remember your face. If ever we are on opposite side of the battlefield, I will look for you and wrench that filthy tongue from your stinking mouth. I give you my word”

The Vanir King sputters in pure fury, his lips curled and he pointed his stubby fingers at Loki.

Hakon was laughing, clapping his hands loudly. “The Jotun has guts! The Jotun has guts!” He clapped. “I think I can get use to this creature!”

 “Your Grace…please calm down. Please” Thor’s words were falling on deaf ears.

“You! How dare you!” Bjorn bellowed. “Guards! Guards! Seize this creature and have it flogged!”

“Guards! The Prince is exhausted. Please escort him out!” Thor commanded.

“Seize him! Flog him!” The Vanir King roared even louder.

Guards marched towards Loki but Loki was unafraid. They were use to his temper by now and Loki was use to their presence. Loki said nothing, simply followed Sif and the guards out.

The moment Loki was gone, the Bjorn spat.

“That beast!” He turns to Thor. “You do not wish for your men to die you say” He sneered, he was so close to Thor, Thor could smell his sour breath. “I say just point that bloody bifrost on them and be done with it! Kill them all! No man of yours would die. But instead you took a pet for yourself hoping to keep those dogs on a leash. You are nothing like the Allfather”

Frigga pursed her lips at that comment. Hakon was still laughing. Leif said nothing and Valgard slip yet another empty goblet into his sleeve.   

 

 

* * *

 

Thor would have gone after Loki sooner if he could. But that was no ordinary dinner and he is the King of Asgard. He cannot just leave in the middle of a dinner... Thor walked towards the charred training ground. Guards stood at the edge of the ring and Thor could see numerous targets still afire.

“Your Grace” They bowed when Thor approached.

“Thor” Sif greeted.

“How is he?”

“He will be alright” Sif said and they took a step back, making a small clearing for their King.

Loki was sitting with his knees drawn up on the ground amid the fiery mess, his back towards Thor. His long ebony locks stirred with the breeze that blows, and the gold and gems in his hair glittered.

“Take the night off” Thor said quietly.

The guards bowed and did as commanded.

Sif did not leave. She did not want to. She did not want ever leave Thor; but has always known that Thor would never be hers. Thor would be wed to a princess of another realm and through it, form a political alliance. Thor is a prince. His marriage will not be based on something as pathetic as love. Thor has a duty to Asgard... She has always known that. But it is one thing to know, to accept it in your mind, and completely another when it is actually happening.

“Thor…”

“…”

“Even though it is I who stop our rel-”

“Nothing happen Sif”

A stabbed of pain clenched at Sif’s heart. She lashed out, slapping Thor hard across his face. It was either that or she was going to curse him or cry, she could not tell which.

“I am sorry” Thor said.

Upon his engagement in a month, should anyone claim to be his woman or man, they will be put to the sword. Should any child claim him as the father; they too will be put to the sword. Such is the law of Asgard. They do not tolerate challenges to the Queen’s position or battles over the throne.

Just as if Frigga has not keep silent of the fact that he is a bastard, he would not be here. By law…he should have been put to the sword. Baldur is the true heir. Or rather Vali, if he had lived.

“It is best to stop any lingering…inappropriate relations” Thor lowered his head.

“Look at me. Do not look away from me! Don’t you dare!” Sif said.

Thor hesitated. It shames him to look upon her. Sif…Sif who was always there for him even through his wild rage at her, his jealousy of her relationship with Loki….these uncontrollable thoughts shame him. But he lifted his gaze nonetheless. He owed her that much. His friend, his once lover…

Her eyes though wet with tears, are burning.

“Do not pity me Thor. Pity those who need it, but not me” Sif said and left.

Thor did not go after her. There is nothing he could do for her. He heaved a sigh and move towards Loki.

Loki did not stir. He did not look at Thor even when Thor lowered himself to sit beside him. And so they sat silently for a long time until Thor spoke.

“Why fire?” Thor asked.

“Fire comes easy enough for me” Loki said.

“What of ice?”

“And what am I to do with that? Freeze the wooden targets to death?” Loki turns to regard Thor in a sort of amusement. “I want to destroy something”

“Fair enough” Thor smiled.

They do not talk about the beast in Thor or the tournament Thor would be presiding over starting tomorrow or the way the guests of the other realms looked upon a Jotun in their midst or Thor’s conversation with Sif or the matters of a consort. Beneath the starry sky they sat, talking of nothing of importance and for that moment, everything was perfect.


	12. Choices You Make

**  
**

The harps play, the candles flickered casting a muted dimness over the entire chamber of glittering gold. Frigga sat on her satin chaise lounge of royal purple, golden curtains hanging loosely above her.

Thor sat on the arm chair opposite her, a cauldron sat on the glassy table between them. 

“How much longer?” Thor asked.

“In three weeks it will be ready”

“And this curse will be gone?”

“Yes…”

Thor leans forth, clasping his hands together. “And…this strange desire in me, this thing I feel for Loki would be gone?” He asked carefully.

“That is the idea, yes. The uncontrollable lust and rage will be gone that I am sure” Frigga said. “But…if this desire that you feel is born from within you, out of your own free will…then it will stay”

Thor let out a soft laugh. “You think I have fallen for a Jotun for real?”

“…”

“A beast that cursed me into laying with him?” Though as Thor says the word, there was no real anger or disgust in his tone. Calling Jotuns beasts was merely out of habit more than any real revulsion. Before this perhaps there was real disgust, but not anymore.

"..."

Thor clenched his jaws, lowering his eyes to the ground.

“Thor…” Frigga called gently. She knows his fears. A fear that should not even exist. “Jotuns are not monsters Thor. It is alright if the desires do not go away even after this. At the very least, you would know that not everything is a lie, forced by the curse upon you”

“Are you saying that you would accept him if I choose him as my Queen?”

“No one would accept him even if I do…and I trust that you know that the council would wish for you to choose the Vanir Princess?”

“I do” Thor nodded.

His council had wanted him to choose Elise as his consort. She would make the perfect Queen. She was proper in their eyes. Sweet and gentle as woman should be. And Vanaheim is strong.

As for the Muspelheim Princess, Jarnsaxa… His council had shaken their heads in disapproval. She had sparred with Thor on the second day of her arrival and set the sparring ring on fire in the process. She is wild they grumbled. Untamed! Thor could not argue. Truth, she reminded Thor of Loki and Sif.

“Mother…I know what the council says…but what do you say?” Thor asked.

Frigga smiled. “You are the King of Asgard…it is what you say that matters”

 

* * *

 

Truth, Thor had always imagined his courting very differently. He had always imagined the tournament and celebrations following his coronation where the other realms would came to pay their homage very differently. He’d told them to Volstagg.

“Well my friend, your imagination seriously needs work” Volstagg laughed. “Parents-in-law are right pain in the ass”.

Thor wanted to say that his ‘parents- in-law’ were hardly the core of the issue.

Every day since the arrival of those royalties from the other realm was agony to Thor. His every move watched his every word analyzed over and over again for hidden meanings and motives. Even the most innocent invites or dances would bring speculations.

Why did he speak to that noblemen’s daughter? Does he like her more than their King’s daughter? Why did he invite this princess and not the other? Why did Thor have two dances with her and not the other? Did Thor favor one over the other already? And at such an early stage?

What does the King sees in his potential consort? Is it military might of the realm that backs her? Wealth? Or simply a pretty face?

If it were any noblemen’s daughter that he seems even remotely interested in, then Thor is a fool, they would whisper. He would gain no favors from their Kings by favoring a noble over the King’s daughters.

If it was Elise, the Vanir Princess that he was seen speaking to, there would be talks that Thor was interested in military power. If it was Vigdis, the Elven Princess, the second daughter of Leif, a plain little thing who possesses none of her father’s beauty, then it is wealth Thor desires, or so it would be said among the nobles. And if it were Jarnsaxa that Thor smiles at, then he is a shallow King who sees only beauty and excitement.

Jarnsaxa, the Muspelheim Princess was a beauty among beauties. A fire demon among fire demons. A wild little thing with a face any man would die for. That Thor could not argue. Just the thought of her would make his cock stir.

Jarnsaxa was fair, her skin smooth; and her eyes were the deepest of ruby and they were fierce, as if burning flames in a skull. Her lips were rosy and her lashes thick and dark, almost as if she powdered them in dark shades, giving herself an almost arrogant, mysterious, phantom like beauty. And her wavy midnight tresses that trickled over her shoulders and the small of her back were darker than night, so contrasting the velvet fairness of her skin.

And Valgard, the Dwarf King has no daughter. But he brought his eldest son. Thor rather hope that his courtesy towards Valgard’s son, Brook, would not spark yet another speculation or he would truly have to sit down hard and think over the impression he was giving out.

As of now, the eyes of every man and woman of every realm was on him. Once he would have thought it wickedly exciting and exhilarating to command such attention, but now that he has it, he felt only dread. One wrong move and he could ruin Asgard’s standing and reputation. And to make matters worse, by the end of the first week, it seems that all the realms knew that Thor had bedded Loki, a Jotun.

He had thought such private news would remain within the castle and among the nobles and warriors only, but that hope had been dashed rather quickly. It seems that the warriors from the other realms couldn’t keep their mouth shut when they heard the stories of how vocal Loki had been between the sheets from his warriors.

“ _We all heard him during the hunt”_ They chuckled.

Everyone was congratulating him and winking at him as if they knew some dirty secret and laughing at Loki. And he meant everyone. Even when Loki went to town with him in his Aesir form, it seems that all the merchants and fruit sellers, even the children knew that Loki was Jotun and how exactly Thor had bedded him and that Loki had begged shamelessly in that tent.

Finally, the great secret of taming a Jotun has been found out. All you needed to do was stick it into their cunt they laughed.

The only lucky thing from the entire fiasco was that Loki was Jotun. Not seen as a person, or by law, Loki would have been executed for laying with Thor.

More than anything, there cannot be any challenges to the Queen’s position, now that Thor would be taking a Queen soon.

Loki’s misery and anger was deepening everyday and Thor knew it was only a matter of time before Loki snaps. And Loki’s anger was affecting him. The beast in him stirs, anger rising in him unbidden without reason and it was all he could do to keep himself in check. He’d excused himself in a hurry when he felt his control starting to slip.

The potion could not be ready soon enough.

At this point, Thor would gladly do anything to sooth Loki. To comfort him…but it was no good. No words would ever make Loki more acceptable in the eyes of others or raise his standings among the other realms _or any less Jotun_ in the eyes of others.

Just a few minutes ago, when Thor had meant to take Loki and the princesses to town, Thor had to jump in front of Loki to stop his massacre of the stable boys who were snickering at him when they brought his mount.

Thor grabbed Loki by his thin wrist and glared at the two gullible boys. “Get out of here! Both of you!” He snapped.

The boys disappeared pretty quickly. Confusion, clear on their chubby face.

“Thor, let go of me!” Loki hissed, wrenching his wrist free. “I would have their tongues!”

“Taking a man’s tongue do not prove him a liar, but that you fear what he might say”

“Then his head! I will have them on spikes!”

Thor grimaced. “Forget about them…come on. We’ll get you some jewels”

Loki hissed; his emerald eyes afire. “I want them dead!”

“Lo-”

“I do not wish to go anymore. I will not be paraded like some animal for your people’s amusement! So go! Get out of my sight!”

Thor shifted uncomfortably; the princesses were looking at them with alarming interest.

“Are we going?” Elise asked.

Thor hesitated. He couldn’t leave Loki alone. If he did, he was sure the two boys would be very dead. And he could not afford murders in the castle now…especially not when there are foreign royalties around. It undermines authority!

He turns to the ladies and smile.

“Um, perhaps we could go to town another day” He said. “The garden…it is nice this time of the year. I could have servants take you there”

The girls snickered.

“Do not bother your grace. We know the way there” Jarnsaxa said. “Go on…it must be tedious to have such a needy pet”

At once, Thor’s fingers flew to latched tightly over Loki’s wrist, his muscles tensed, a smile plastered over his face as he laughs it off. He did not need to look at Loki’s face to know that Loki could kill right there and then. Consequences be damn.

The others laugh too.

“Well then, I will see you Ladies later” Thor said, dragging Loki out of the stables.

“Where are you taking me?!” Loki demanded.

But Thor was not listening; he quickened his pace, dragging Loki into the nearest room which happens to be a room for brooms and cleaning equipment. It was small but by no means cramp.

“What is it?!” Loki snapped, when Thor finally released him and shut the door behind them.

“You need to keep your temper in check” Thor said.

At that, Loki laughs. “And you are the one to talk? You who could barely control yourself without me”

“And whose fault is that? You curse me” Thor said. “I would demand you remove it but you would not and so I would not waste my breath over it”

Loki hissed.

It was not the first time Loki had hissed at him in his Aesir form but Thor still found it strange. It was an expression that just did not go with Aesir features.

“Perhaps I should leave you now” Loki said icily, tilting his head mockingly. “Let all see the true face of the perfect King of Asgard. The famed golden prince”

Thor snorted. Loki was angry and hurt over all the whispers that had been going around and now he wanted Thor to hurt too. He wanted Thor to suffer with him. Thor did not rise to the bait. It was too obvious.

“You won’t” Thor said.

“What’s stopping me?” Loki challenged.

“Your heart. I am yours and you are mine”

Loki sneered.

“What? Too romantic?” Thor teased, darting forth to pull Loki into his embrace and kissed him.

Loki let out a scream of rage, a rage that was not directed at Thor. Loki struggled and fought; pounding and shoving at Thor’s chest and striking him hard. Thor held onto Loki tight, kissing him over and over again even as Loki bites him.

“Bastard! Bastard!” Loki screamed. He screamed till his throat felt sore and his lungs could burst. His anger at everyone, his anger at the laughter, at the revulsion and mockery that was evident in everyone eyes, his anger through the week, it all came in torrent.

Thor did not know how, but he just knew that Loki needed this. Needed something physical to fight, to rage against or he would crumble and snap.

Thor did not know how long Loki resisted but then Loki’s mouth opened under his and Loki kissed him back with passion. There were tears on Loki’s face and Thor brought his large hand up to wipe them away.

“Shh…I’ve got you” Thor soothed.

He dragged his lips over Loki’s tear stricken cheek and kissed him there, then he moves to kiss Loki’s eye lids one after the other, and then his temple, his ears, his neck as Loki shuddered against him.

“I want this… chain me, wreck me, punish me …” Loki gasped, tugging at Thor’s armor. He didn’t want to think. He wanted to stop thinking for a moment! His head hurts!

“As you wish” Thor’s hand went for Loki’s tunic and yanked; tearing the fabric so that Loki was bare and he shoved Loki to the wooden table behind him and make him bend over.

The beast was not stirring in Thor, but his body was more than willing to give Loki what he wanted. Thor stood behind Loki and reached over to cup Loki’s hardened length through his leather pants.

Loki gasped.

“What are you? An animal in heat?” Thor growled against Loki’s ear. Thor do not speak like that to his partners, but he remembers enough from their pass session when the beast have been strong in him to know that this is what Loki wanted.

“Ruin me…” Loki shuddered.  

 

* * *

 

In the quiet hours of the morning, Thor watches Loki sleep in his Aesir form. Loki looked so innocent, and so at peace. His fingers reached forth to hook a stand of ebony locks behind Loki’s ear.

Loki did not stir. Loki was no longer so defensive that every creak of the bed would wake him.

A smile twitched at the side of Thor’s lips. Loki had learned to trust him, even if just a little, even if Loki would never admit it.

He has lost count of the number of mornings he had simply watched Loki sleep like this. It felt like it had always been this way, but truth be told, it had only been a few weeks.

He wanted to kiss him awake…he wanted to hold him in his embrace… And he wondered in fear if these feelings would stay even after the curse has been broken. It frightens him that he would still want this…and it frightens him too that these feelings… are not lust. It frightens him to think that he may actually truly care for Loki. Not love him perhaps…but cared enough for him to want to protect him.

Loki let out a soft moan. He was starting to stir.

At once Thor lay back in bed, feinting sleep.

 

* * *

 

The end of two weeks marks the end of the tournament. And Thor could not be happier. It was not that he did not enjoy the tournament, or the feasting and drinking and dancing and singing every evening, it was just that he feared that Loki would try to join in the tournament to let some steam off.

The warriors would not hesitate to maim the Jotun Prince. Not that Loki was defenseless, but Thor could not take the risk.

“Let’s give it up for the winner of this tournament” Thor raised his goblet at the high table. “The realm with the most point goes to Vanaheim!”

The Vanir warriors cheered. The others clapped with equal vigor. It matter not who won, everyone had fun.

“And so, let the feast begin!” Thor announced. Loud bangs of fireworks erupted all over the darkened skies outside marking the start of the feast.

As the night dragged on, the warriors became louder and wilder. The warriors boasted shamelessly and meads spilled as the night drag on. They drank, they fought and they laugh. Server girls draped themselves over drunken warriors and some being dragged off, blushing and laughing to the nearest room by the feasting hall.

Thor roared in laughter at the high tables when Jarnsaxa, the Princess of Muspelheim finished her tale. It was a funny tale of how she’d tricked her brothers into wearing dresses once, a long time ago.

“You jest” Thor said.

“I speak the truth!” She laughed, tears in her eyes.

Jarnsaxa…out of all the princesses and nobles, Thor liked her best. But it matters not…the union has nothing to do with the matters of heart. He has a duty to obtain a union that would put Asgard at the best advantage.

“Come on…let’s get out of here” Jarnsaxa gave him a mischievous smile.

Thor's heart skipped a beat. He hesitated for a moment, glancing towards the others at the high table. He had not spoken to Elise, the Princess of Vanaheim yet tonight. The one he should be impressing…The one whose union would offer Asgard an even greater military might than what she already posses.

“You know, tales of your conquest spread far and wide...but I wonder though, which ones are truth and which ones are just that, a tale...” Jarnsaxa smirks; her slender fingers crawling up Thor’s thigh beneath the table.

Thor blushed, his fingers reached to grab her wrist, stopping her. He was hardly a virgin but…

“Afraid?” She purred.

Thor felt his cock stir. Norns…she is beautiful.

“ _I want her”_ he realized. But he also realized that if he takes her, he will have no choice but to choose her as his consort. She’d claim that he had sullied her honour, taken her maidenhood; though Thor was sure that she was no maiden.

A proper King would reject her offer. But perhaps it was the mead spinning in his head or perhaps it was the tension that had been tearing at him through the weeks or perhaps he was simply a fool that thinks with his cock rather than his head, or perhaps it was all of them combine, a surge of defiance raced through him.

“Come” Thor winked.

They snuck away from the feast. They barely got out the door before Thor was kissing her as she tears at his golden locks.

“Norns I want you” Jarnsaxa gasped.

It was a mystery how they even manage to get down to the sparring ring and the moment they got there, she shoved him hard against the stand. Thor chuckled, his large hand hitched up her flowing gown of red as she continued kissing him with mounting passion.

“Oh…” He moaned, shifting to kiss her neck, slipping his hand down her undergarment. She was sopping wet down there.

“The mighty Thor” She breathes. “Show me what you’ve got”

“Your wish is my command” Thor said; pressing into her folds he curled his finger and brushed a little nub.

She shuddered.

“You like that huh?” He pushed her onto the ground. Her thick wavy ebony locks sprawled beneath them.

His fingers reached for the front of her dress and he yanked, ripping the silk so that her breast fell free. Her nipples were hardened to little peaks and he brought his lips over them, giving a teasing tug.

She groaned, her nails dug into his scalp.

Next Thor took off her lacy panties. He spread her out, bending over he captures her lips in another kiss as he quickens his strokes at the swelling nub between her heat.

“Oh…! Yes…yes, yes like that…” Her arms wrap tight about Thor’s neck.

“You are so beautiful. So beautiful” Thor breaths against her ear. His cock strained against his breeches. But he waited until her breaths were shallow pants and she was so close that he stopped and pull away.

“You tease!” She whined.

“Patience my love” He reached for his breeches.

It was then that he saw a sight that chilled him to the bones. It was as if someone had dumped a pail of ice cold water on him, waking him up from the stupidity he was about to commit. He stopped at once.

Loki…

Loki was standing a little away from them amid the ring.

Norns…They must have missed him in their haste to get to closest surface.

“What is it?” Jarnsaxa pushed herself up when Thor did not move.

She followed his gaze and saw Loki. A devilish smile tugged at her lips and she turn to Thor.

“Such a perverted little pet you have” She said. “Let him watch then, he would be watching a lot from the foot of our bed soon. And if he is a good boy, perhaps he could join us too someday”

From the distance, Thor could not see Loki’s expression, but all the same, terror, horror seized Thor’s entire being as he hurried off Jarnsaxa.

“Thor!” She protested, but Thor was no longer listening.

“Loki! Wa-” Before Thor could take a step towards the Jotun Prince, Loki vanished.

For the first time since Loki’s arrival, Thor felt that he had betrayed Loki. He had done something wrong.

“Come darling…” Jarnsaxa came to him, putting her arms about him.

“I…I don’t think we should” Thor murmured.

She frowned but she did not push it; tucking a strand of stray locks over her ear. “Well then, I’ll go touch up and meet you inside”

“Yeah…” Thor gave her a forced smile.

The rest of the night was ruined. Thor drank and he drank trying to enjoy himself, but it all tasted blend on his tongue. The jokes and stories and songs sounded dull to his ears. And his laughter was empty.

He could not remember much. Everything passing him in a sort of blur as his mind wondered unbidden to Loki. He forgot about the council meeting, he forgot about Elise…he simply drank. At some point he must have stopped, but he could not remember when.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Farbauti was with Laufey in his work room when Thrym came to give Laufey the news that their armies are ready. Laufey had nodded and dismissed him quickly. With Thrym’s history with Laufey and Thrym’s blatant dislike of Loki, Farbauti did not get along well with Thrym at all.

Blows have been exchanged in council meetings before. In fact it was not all that uncommon. Thrym did not give a damn for authority. He would speak it as it is. Laufey considered it a gift and a curse.

“And now we wait” Laufey said, looking out his window. “Let’s hope it will be enough to defend Jotunheim”

“Loki meant to conquer Asgard” Farbauti said as if Laufey had somehow forgotten Loki’s mad scheme.

Laufey sighs, turning to face Farbauti. He loves Loki, he truly do…but he cannot give him this. This is not a game. This is not a gamble he is willing to stake.

“Yes…but he will not have our army” Laufey said.

At that Farbauti stilled, a sudden fear grips him. He cannot be hearing this right. Laufey cannot mean this.

“What?” He whispered.

“Loki can make his war. But I will not back him. Jotunheim will not back him”

“So you will have him attempt to take Asgard at the head of an army that will betray him the first chance they have?!” Farbauti demanded.

“Yes”

“You mean to kill our child?! You mean for Loki to die?! Is that it?!” Farbauti cried; stepping towards the creature he could not believe was his mate.

"You were the one who wished to sacrifice him before! Let him stay on Asgard if I do not want a war, that was what you said!" Laufey charged.

"That is different! At least he would have lived!"

"I see no difference. He would have been lost to us nevertheless"

“Laufey. They will kill him the first chance they’ve got!” Farbati said.

“I know” 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thor woke to the icy cold that descended upon his room.

“Loki?” He croaked, silver mist coats his breath. He cleared his dry throat and reached groggily to the glass of water by his bedside table.

His head was pounding, his eyes heavy and his every muscle heavy with exhaustion. Thor has no notion of the hour. In fact, he had no idea how he’d gotten back to his room. His stomach lurched from the alcohol he’d consumed at the feast. He was pretty sure he threw up sometime tonight too. And he’d missed the council meeting… Norn…Frigga was going to kill him.

He coughed when the icy water trickle down his throat.

“Loki?” He called louder into the dark, shivering under the thick covers.

The only reason he knew Loki was in his room was the cold. It was only then that he realized he had been undressed down to his boxers.

“It seems you do remember my name” Came Loki’s voice.

Thor groaned, pushing his aching body up when he saw a shape moving towards him.

“You undress me?” He asked.

“Yes. A little late for modesty now don’t you think”

The single candle beside him flickered suddenly to life, and when Loki stepped into the candlelight, Thor got a good look at the Jotun’s face and guilt and shame clawed terribly at him. He did not forget what Loki saw.

“You are angry at me” Thor said.

“Am I? Did you wrong me?” Loki asked, lowering himself to sit by Thor. Scarlet eyes boring mercilessly into Thor’s cerulean ones.

Thor shivered, feeling Loki’s biting coldness clawing at his burning skin. Loki did not need to be sneering or hissing at Thor for him to know that Loki was angry. The lack of mockery, tease and insult was enough.

“I…” Thor started. He was so tired…so so tired. “About the feast…Jarn-” Thor stopped.

He should not need to apologize. Loki did not own him! Anger raced through him suddenly. He is the King of Asgard and he could have any women he wanted! He didn’t need to explain to anyone! And certainly not a Jotun!

“…”

“Where were you anyway?!” Thor demanded. “You were invited. You just did not show! You didn’t show last week either!”

For a moment Loki looked like he was going to say something, but instead he simply stood to his feet and turn away.

A sudden unexplained terror seized Thor, his desperate and childish anger forgotten when he saw that Loki was moving for the door.

“Wait! No!” He cried, the sheets caught his feet and he tumbled out of bed.

Loki halted, turning to face the drunken fool coming towards him.

Golden locks a right mess. Thor didn’t know what he was thinking. Most probably that’s because he wasn’t. But he knows that he didn’t want Loki to walk out the door!

“You…waited for me to wake…” Thor said stupidly. He wanted to kick himself.

“To make sure you do not die of alcohol poisoning”

“Loki…” Thor started, his hand reached out, hovering just over those icy skin that would burn him.

Loki looked at those hands and Thor swore he saw a flash of pain in those scarlet eyes and then it was gone. Loki did not shade his skin for Aesir ones this time as he would whenever Thor reached for him.

“Please…” Thor pleaded. “I didn’t mean to get mad at you. I-”

“No…” Loki said.

Thor let his hands dropped. Loki’s eyes were ice cold.

“Loki…I’m sorry…”

“Is that all that you wish to tell me?”

“Will you stay?” Thor asked quietly.

“Not tonight” Loki stepped away from Thor and left.

Loki returned to his old room. It was dusty and as messy as it had been. No servants had deemed it necessary to clean the pit of a monster. He sat on his dusty bed, his fingers curled.

What in Hel is he doing? He should be back there with Thor, telling him everything is fine, that he did not mind and did not care…it was alright and have that bastard fuck him into oblivion.

He should be there, in Thor’s bed, making Thor happy, seducing him. Not putting space between them. Not being angry over…some wench! He did not care what Thor got up to with the demon Princess!

He cannot mess this up now. It would only be another fortnight before Thor announced his choice of consort.

He lowered his gaze; taking a deep breath he calmed himself. The first part of his scheme has been more or less a success. He was enough of a distraction as it is to keep Thor and anyone that matters from focusing too much on preparing their war. And the curse will hold…always a promise of success for the last part of his scheme to weaken Asgard from within.

Truth, things have turned out better than he could have ever hoped. He had not expected the Aesir to hold this grand ceremony in honor of the to be Queen before the eyes of every great realm that could possibly safe them. When he had cast the curse, the intention was simply to show Thor in a light that disgust his men - a jotun lover. The curse was simply so that he could have Thor at his mercy as he whispers things into his ears and weaken Asgard from within. But it seems fate had chosen to smile upon him.

At this rate, Asgard is finish.

Thor will choose him over any of those damnable princesses the other realm had send him. Thor will choose him or Asgard would have a mad berserker King! Thor knows this...

And when Thor chooses him as his consort… Thor would have insulted all three Kings and their nobles that Thor would prefer a Jotun over their daughters; anger twenty of his council men, disgust a million Asgardian warriors and divide the entire realm! And when Asgard falls into chaos, he would have Odin’s head and return to Jotunheim.

That should be the final straw for Asgard’s love of Thor.

Asgard would finally be at war with herself and her loyalties divided. She will be weak and be ripe for the taking…he has nothing to worry about.

Loki tightened his jaws, his eyes wondered over to his arm as his fingers reached to touch the spot where Thor had meant to touch him if he could have. He let his hand drop.

He cannot afford to doubt. He has come too far for anything else.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki stirs to the loud pounding of his door. He groaned. Before he could even get up, Thor had burst into his room.

“Come on. Get dressed. Hurry it up!” Thor all but tosses Loki’s fur at him.

“What…?” Loki mumbled, pushing himself up. He swipes a hand down his sleepy face.

What in the name of Hel is going on? What time is it anyway?

His groggy eyes looked towards the window. It was still dark out there. Loki moaned, falling back onto his bed.

“Loki!” Thor hissed, shaking him with his gloved hands. “Get up!”

“Go away!” Loki grumbled, turning away, keeping his eyes firmly shut.

Thor shook him a bit more but Loki remained stubbornly unmoving.

“Fine” Thor snapped at last and then he was gone.

 _“_ _Finally!”_ Loki thought.

He was just about to fall back to sleep when a huge pail of water was dump upon him. It was not meant to be hot. It was cold enough to numb Thor’s fingers but against Loki’s Jotun skin it was steaming hot.

Loki howled, getting up at once. His eyes snapped apart to glare murderously at Thor.

“Get up. We are going on a little trip. Just the both of us” Thor dropped the empty pail onto the ground.

Loki could not read the expression on Thor’s face but he could tell that Thor was serious.

“Have you lost your mind?!” Loki blurted. “Are you still drunk?!”

What about everyone else?! These celebrations and feast and cocktail parties that had been going on for the last two weeks and will be going on for another two weeks are for Thor!

Thor is the King of Asgard! Kings do not just run off with a Jotun in the dark on a fortnight before he was to proposed to his Queen!

Was Thor planning to elope with him?!

This was not supposed to happen!

“Get dress now” Thor said.

“No!”

“Lo-”

“What is going on?! What are you doing?!” Loki demanded

“Loki…”  Thor heaved a sigh. “Just trust me, please. I need you to get dressed”  


	13. Calm Before the Storm

**  
**

The sky was black like the darkest of abyss, and the courtyard was as silent as the grave. Cold wind blew; fog and mist grew thicker and thicker from the very stone ground beneath, twisting and swirling, curling over stone pillars. The horses snorted as they were brushed and fed with oats and apples. The great bell dongs five in the morning. The cutting wind howled as the clicks of footsteps echoes. A slight figure clad in white robes crosses the courtyard to the stables.

The stable boys shivered as they took care of the horses. Their breath misty and their arms shook from the cold.

“Get a move on you mangy brats! The night is almost gone!” Frey shouted.

He is the stable master. A grumpy old man with grayish hair. He crosses his arms in cold as he made his rounds, shouting at the boys for their sloppy work or if they were slow. They hadn’t all day! The night was almost over and the boys have still about a hundred horses to brush and clean and feed.

Those old lords and ladies and big warriors only wanted the finest stallion but have not a clue how to care for them. It’s down to lil ol man like him and naïve green boys to keep these animals at its finest. Take them out of the job for a month and half these fine beast would be sick.

He gritted his clattering jaws; his dark eyes took in the thickening fog.

Strange…strange indeed.

All his years working here since he was a boy, he had never felt such cold before. And the mist, it was fogging everything about him. It was unnatural. 

“Aren’t you boys supposed to be in bed?” Came a gentle voice.

At once Frey turned to see the slight figure standing amid the foggy place. There was a hush silence, followed by fearful whispers from the boys as they pointed and backed away from the figure in obvious terror.

“Who are you?” Frey demanded.

Though he could see no face beneath the white hood embroided with gold, but it was obvious from the stranger’s form that she was a woman. And by the state of her silken robes she was most probably a noble. A noble’s daughter sneaking around for some secret rendezvous with some man she fancies most likely.

The figure did not answer.

Frey frowned, going up to her. 

“Look! I couldn’t care less what you young brats get up to. But you need to leave. We are working here” He said.

They need to get these horses cleaned and fed before those stuck up high lords get up and decide to go for a ride.

The figure lowered her head when Frey was almost upon her.

“You are all very dedicated men” She said.

She did not sound young. A Lady cheating on her Lord husband then.

“Look Lady, why don’t you get your man over to the other side of the courtyard hmm? There’s a broom closet. It is just as hidden there”

The figure let out a sweet little snicker and started singing. Her voice rose and resonated, piercing into Frey’s mind.

“Hey!” Frey cried in alarm.

This is seid!

“Stop it!” He grabs her arm.

At once he howled, pain shot up his entire body and he collapsed onto the ground clutching his red blistering hand. The song continued, fogging his mind, his blistering hand, numbed. His eyes going heavy but he fought it, trying to lift his head to see her hidden face. He could not. An exhaustion like he had never felt was drenched upon him. There were thudding sounds all about him and the neigh of horses seem a distant. And then he knew no more.

The fog thickened, the temperature plummeted as the gentle song resonated for a little while longer. Then there was silence. Frey and all the stable boys are asleep. The figure stood unmoving, waiting, until she hears the tapping of more footsteps.

She turns to see Thor and Loki clad in black hooded robes standing at the threshold of the stable.

Thor beamed when he saw her. “Mother!” He went up to her.

“You are late” Frigga said.

“I apologize”

“You are sure no one saw you two?” She asked seriously, pushing her pristine white hood back.

“Yes”

“Good”

It would not do that for people to know that the King was going on a private trip with a Jotun Prince.

She turns to Loki who was still in his Jotun form. His horns could not be hidden under the hood.

She knows that Loki is stealthier than that if he wishes to be. No doubt Loki wanted to be caught. It will surely be the scandal of the millennium that the King of Asgard was sneaking around the grounds under the cover of night with a Jotun Prince. Well, he will have no such luck. She had made sure that the guards patrolling this section of the castle are all sound asleep.

“Loki” Frigga gave a nod.

“Your Grace”

It was their manner of greeting.

“Watch” With a smile Frigga bows her head and moves her slender hand over her fair face. As she does this, icy blue spread over her fair skin, her golden locks morphed to black, horns grew from her forehead and when she lifted her face, Loki was staring at his own image.

“Impressive” Loki said. Frigga had even grew a good couple of inches. Her pristine white robes were a little too short for her now.

Thor beamed. “Come Loki”

Thor hurriedly went to grab the saddles. Loki did not follow. His scarlet eyes staring into identical ones.

“What are you planning witch?” Loki growled.

“That you would mop and sulk all day because Thor has gone to rescue a village from a herd of bilgsnipe” Frigga smiles in Loki’s image. “Then you will lock yourself in Thor’s room until Thor returns”

“Why are you doing this?!” Loki demanded. This is madness! What is the witch planning?!

“I am a mother before I am a Queen”

“Is that suppose to mean something to me?”

Frigga ignored the question, taking a step back as Thor brought Loki his mount.

“We must leave” Thor insisted, mounting his stallion.

Loki was still looking at Frigga. His expression as unreadable as ever.

“Loki dear, please wear your Aesir form. It would be rather hard to explain the sighting of another Jotun across Asgard” Frigga said. This time she spoke it in Loki’s voice.

Loki took a step towards her. “If you mess with me, you will be very, very sorry” he whispered.

At once, Loki felt the prick of steel against his robes as Frigga twisted the point of her dagger against his abdomen. Then she pressed her darkened lips against Loki’s ear and whispered back. “By the Norns, I swear to you, if you hurt him, I will gut you and tie you with your very entrails on the highest point of Asgard for the sun to burn the skin off your bones and have the crows and flies feast on your insides as you pray and cry for death that will not come” She took a step back, giving Loki a sickly sweet smile.

Men read all sorts of things into a sweet smile if you let them.

Loki hissed.

“Loki” Thor called. 

Loki turns to the golden oaf and shed his Jotun skin for Aesir ones.

“It truly amazes me everyday how Asgard still stands with an oaf like you on the throne” Loki gritted, mounting his stallion.

 

 

* * *

 

Loki could hear the loud incessant bangs of fireworks just outside the inn’s window. Red, green, blue and gold lights flashed across the small dark room. He reached out to pull the curtains back a little and looked out.

The night sky above was an impressive sight. Light erupting, flashing and twinkling across the little town, lighting up the entire place. From where Loki stood, he could see the ivory temple atop the hill on the other side. Hundreds of little burning torches framed the marble stairs leading up to its entrance.

 _“To whom do Gods appeal for mercy?”_ He wondered; placing a hand over the glassy window.

There was a creak of the wooden floorboard, followed by the soft tapping of footsteps. A gentle hand touches the back of his neck, before shifting to grip his shoulder.

“Are you alright?” Thor asked softly, standing close by Loki’s side.

Is he alright? Loki lowered his gaze. The streets below were bustling with drunken travelers, none the wiser that the King of Asgard, the most powerful man in the entire nine realms was in their midst, merely a few feet above them.

_"The most powerful man…I have just run away with the most powerful man in all the realms”_

After a day of riding without rest with the sun burning down on his back and exposed hands; fearing that the guards would come after them or that they would be recognized on the road…it took him a while to realize it. And when he did, a laugh burst from his lips and he kept laughing.

“Loki…”

“Norns!” Loki laughed, running his fingers over his black tresses. “Why are we here Thor?” He turns to look at the man, but Thor was not looking at him.

Clear cerulean eyes seeming to look at nothing beyond the window. Loki wasn’t even sure if Thor actually even heard him.

“Thor”

“Fyrisvellir… A town with two faces. In the morning it is quiet but it is dub sin city by night. It is almost impossible to get room at any time of the year, but most travelers had gone to the city for my…celebration” Thor muttered. “The temple, it is one of the main attractions. It was built in tribute to the Norns and homed to some of the greatest seers on Asgard. Many go in hope to have their future unfold before them…I can take you there tomorrow”

Thor knew that wasn’t the answer Loki wanted, but that would have to do for now.

Truth, he needed to get away from the castle to think. He needed to think about everything – about his family, his duty as the King, about Asgard, about the war that seems inevitable…about Jarnsaxa, Elise and Vigdis, about relations with the other realms; but most of all he also needed to think about Loki, and what his marriage would mean to Jotunheim.

He had never given any thoughts about Jotunheim before this, before Loki. Loki changes everything…

Thor turns to give Loki an assuring smile when Loki continues to look at him. He will think of Loki when he weighs his decision. That is a promise he makes to himself.

Loki is not his pet, Loki is not his prisoner, Loki is not his hated jailer. Thor reached up, brushes Loki’s face with the back of his fingers. Truly, what Loki is to him, he does not know. But…

“I give you my word…whatever happens, I won’t let anyone hurt you” He said quietly.  

 

 

* * *

 

The wind blew, caressing over Thor’s face and braided hair. He could hear the birds singing and the willows that grew on each side of the pavement whistled as the breeze swayed their little leaves. Shops on either side on him were still firmly shut, not a soul in sight.

Loki walked close by his side beneath the pale pink dawn as they make their way across town. Soon they would have to put their hood over their heads, but not yet… They made their way to the temple and up her ornate marble steps.

“You told me once that you do not know what your future holds…would you like to know now?” Loki asked.

“No”

“Do you not believe that the future is written?”

Thor shrugged. “I believe…the future is not for us to know. It is for us to live, to find out”

When they reached the top to the step, there was an old man in black robes waiting for them.

“Wel-welcome…your Grace…” He stammered.

He was a frail, bended, shriveled thing. His head was almost bold and what was left were snowy white. Great chains hung from his neck, looking much too heavy for him to carry and his once blue eyes were cloudy.

A seer.

“We’ve…we’ve…been expecting you, your…your Grace…” His bony fingers that clutch his chains shook.

He made to bow but Thor stopped him. The seer was so old that he seems he might just keel over anytime.

“It is quite alright good sir” Thor smiled at him.

“Ye-yes…come…come…we foresaw your…your visit and kept…kept the pla-ce empty today” The old man turns, limping towards the close titan door of heavy marble.

Giant pillars stood on either side of Thor and Loki, framing the way to the great entrance. Thor looked at Loki who was looking intently at the hundreds of runes etched into every pillar. Thor did not understand them, but he was sure Loki did, by the why he was studying them.

“Come…!” the seer called. His croaky voice echoed.

Thor gave Loki an assuring smile and reached to take Loki’s hand. He had a distinctive feeling that Loki was a little frighten. By of what, he did not know. The Norns are not really here. This is just a temple.

“Do you want to leave?” Thor asked.

“No”

“You sure?”

“I’m fine!”

“Okay” Thor gave Loki’s hand a little squeeze and they followed the man.

The old man reached up with both his bony hands towards a great iron ring on the door. He grips it and pushes it against the door. Loud bangs like thunder rumbled and erupted, vibrating the ground beneath their feet. Then the door creaks open.

The seer turns towards them. “You...you may see things in there… some…some do…but do not believe everything you see” The seer warned. “Some are re-al…some are not…you may see your past…perhaps…your future, or simply…an illusion that holds no truth...Be careful what you wish to see…for that is what you will see….”

“And if I do not wish to see anything? Neither the past nor the future?” Thor asked.

“Then you…you will see…nothing” The seer answered, before slipping in.

Thor meant to take a step in when he felt Loki tense beside him. He turns at once to the Jotun Prince.

“We do not have to enter. We can lea-”

“I am not afraid” Loki insisted.

Thor frowned at Loki’s stubbornness. He didn’t mean to scare Loki. Travelers came from all over to try their luck on what they would see. It was not meant to be frightening. Sure…some had a fright, but none entered terrified.

What is it that Loki fears he would see?

“I want to go in” Loki said.

“If you insist”

The moment they enter, the titan door slams shut behind them sending a great rumble through the entire place and shutting out all light. For a moment all they could see were bodiless yellow lights swaying from one side to the other, and all they could hear was the beating of their hearts, the soft chimes of bell in a distant and the songs that echoed through the halls. And then slowly, the high ceiling above and every wall, started to glitter like thousands of diamond across the entire place, giving just enough light for them to see more.

They could make out at least three dozen seers walking the halls, and the swaying lights were the oil lantern that they hold in their hand. In the middle of the hall, was a well…no doubt it was meant to represent the Well of Uror, the Well of Fate. Three great statues of the three Norns stood against the wall, their eyes boring down on them from their great height.

They were carved from the finest of marbles, their beautiful features neither young nor old; time having no power over them.

Loki resisted the urged to hiss. Uror, Veroandi and Skuld. He remembers each of their face as if it were only yesterday.

Mist thickened and rose, swirling, twisting and turning beneath their feet, caressing over their hands.

Loki was clutching Thor's entire arm so tightly that Thor's hand was going numb. Thor looked at Loki a little concern but did not say anything. It would be best to take a quick walk around the place and be off. He would have taken Loki away from this place now if Loki would let him. But he knows that Loki’s pride would not.

“Come” Thor urged, walking pass the first statue, the statue of Skuld. Then came the statue of Uror and the Well of Uror.

They were almost passed them when Loki suddenly let out a chilling scream of terror. He stumbled away from Thor before Thor could catch him. His arms were flailing, fighting and swiping at nothing.

“Loki!” Thor cried, rushing towards him.

“Get away from me! Get away!” Loki shrieked. “Get away!”

“Loki!” Thor roared in horror when Loki was backing into the well.

“Don’t touch me!”

“Stop!” Thor tackled him to the ground before Loki could fall back into the well. “Loki!”

"Nooooo!" 

Thor pins the prince to the ground as Loki struggled and fought with ferocity that Thor had never saw. Nails clawed at Thor’s face, knees jamming into his side and teeth tearing at his skin but he held on.

The seers rushed to surround them as Loki screamed and screamed, in pure terror. His eyes wide but unseeing, a shadow stirring and roaring at the back on his emerald eyes, almost snuffing the light out of those brilliant gems.

Something is very wrong.

“What is happening?!” Thor demanded; fighting Loki as Loki struck him across his face, splitting his lips.

No one answered him.

“Do something! Help him!”

Still no one move.

Loki let out a blood curdling cry; his back arching his nails tore at Thor’s arms, drawing blood.

“You know me! You’ve seen me coming! So I command you as your King to help him!” Thor bellowed in desperation. “I command you!”

Suddenly a young seer move forth from the crowd.

“Hold him!” The young seer said urgently, reaching out his hand.

Thor did as he was told, holding Loki’s trashing hands down. The seer placed his hand over Loki’s head and started chanting. Loki struggled and fought, shaking his head from side to side as his feet kicks.

“No! No!” Loki shouted.

The seer chanted louder and louder, his voice echoing through the hall. The shadow in Loki’s eyes started to fade and Loki let out a great cry in a voice not his own. A voice that made the hair on Thor’s back stand.

“You bastard!” A high pitch shrieked sliced through the hall.

The shadow vanished and Loki’s body went limp.

“Loki?” Thor called urgently, releasing his brutal hold to cup Loki’s tears stricken face.

“Thor….” Loki breathes, his lids shutting.

“Yes...shh...I'm here...I'm here” His thumb brushes Loki's cheeks.

Loki is back. Loki is back! Relief washed over Thor and it was then that he realized that he was shaking; it was then that he realized that his heart had been beating so fast. At some point the chanting had stopped but Thor could not remember when. It does not matter.

“You are alright” Thor let out a laugh. “You are alright”

“You didn’t leave me there…” Loki murmured; his consciousness fading.

Thor has no idea what Loki was talking about and he wasn't even sure if Loki knew it himself, but there is only one answer that came to his mind, only one reply that seem right to his tongue.

“I’ll never leave you” Thor promised as Loki’s eyes slid shut.  

 

 

* * *

 

A King commands and his will be done. Loki’s ideology which Thor never truly believed was dashed rather quickly. Standing in the oval office of the head seer with the other seers, they had refused him answers even when he threatens to demolish their temple.

“See into the future with your clouded eyes and declare me a liar!” Thor said. “Declare that I would not dare harm your precious temple and you need not give me my answer!”

They had all glared at him with hatred and rage.

“Fire! Fire!” One cried.

“That monster would rain down fire upon Asgard!” Said another.

“He would bri-”

“Silence!” Thor roared. “I do not ask for the future! I do not seek to know what he would bring! I refuse to know but the answer to my question! Tell me! What happen to him?!” 

They mumbled to one another, shaking their heads stubbornly.

“Leave!” the head seer said. “Leave cursed King! You are not welcome here!”

Thor reeled. “How dare you!” He roared, anger sheered through him. “Have care how you speak!”

“Then have my head! Have our heads! We would tell you naught! Leave! Take your beast and leave!”

“Leave!”

“Leave!”

“Leave!”

One after another cried.

“Leave!”

Thor could feel his conscious slipping. A red haze of rage, spreading through him like a disease, eating away at him. He turns to leave at once before he could hurt anyone. The seers parted making way for him as if his touch would curse them too. He left to find Loki in the little room he had left him.

The young seer and the old one that had welcomed them sat by the bed where Loki rest; wiping cold sweat from his face.

“My king…” the young one bowed.

The young seer was a boy no older than himself, Thor reckoned.

Messy brown hair, a lean face and pale blue eyes that were starting to cloud. He was not blind yet, but would soon be as all seers would be in time. A curse to those that seeks the future too much.

“What is your name?” Thor asked the young man.

“Alfr…and that’s Edgar, my teacher” He motioned to the old seer.

“Alfr…Edgar…You know the questions I have. Will I not have my answer?” Thor asked.

“You seek to know what happen to your beast” Alfr said

“His name is Loki” Thor was getting annoyed.

“Aye, Loki…the Jotun Prince”

“Yes”

“It is not our place to give you such answer. It is Loki’s”

“Will he tell me?”

“I thought you do not seek to know the future, my King”

Edgar seems angry at this.

“Do not…tease your King! Tell him at…at least that” Edgar snaps as well as he could in his age, then he turns to regard Thor. “The Jotun will not…tell you…And…and you should not pry…”

“…”

“If…if you accept him…then you have to ac-cept all of him….but know that if you choose him…he is a creature…with a past you cannot imagine…A past…better left….forgotten…” Edgar warns. “He will defy…everything you’ve been taught…everything you know…Do not…do not choose him out of pity…or duty…You must…truly love him…for you will…have to fight for him…in every sense and for every day…The fight will not just be…for his life…or his he-art….but…but also his soul…That…is what it means…to choose him”

Thor wanted to ask if he would choose Loki, but he stopped himself. No…the future is not for him to know.

“It is best…that you…take your beast away now” Edgar smiled at him.

The veil between the living and the dead, between worlds, between the past, present and future…between fate and destiny, they are thin here. Hela, the queen of the underworld nearly tore it all apart in her wrath to have the Jotun before his time. And the others would have let her and patch the tear later if Alfr hadn’t stop her.

They all knew this would happen. They have all seen it. The others had wanted the Jotun dead, for they have seen the future with him at the head of an army coming to destroy Asgard.

Edgar may not know everything, he may be dead wrong in many things…but he believes that the future is written. Even if Alfr had not stopped Hela, he believes that Hela would have failed, for it is not Loki’s time yet.

You cannot change what is to come. What will happen, will happen; though not many shared this believe. They will ceaselessly attempt to end the Jotun to stop a future they fear.

“It is best too…that you…do not return here” Edgar said.  

 

 

* * *

 

Shouts and clashes erupted all over the training field. Laufey watch his armies continue practicing even after Thrym's assurance that they are ready.

“They are ready for combat. They are all prepared to die for Jotunheim” Thrym stood tall beside his King.

“And none have broken oaths before I am sure” Laufey walks on to survey another part of the field.

“They will die for you” Thrym insisted.

Laufey snorted at that. An ice blade bloomed from his hand.

“My King?”

“They will die for me you say” Laufey move towards a battling pair.

Thrym tensed at once. “My King! Forgive me if my words upset you!”

Laufey ignored him.

“Men!” Laufey interrupts the pair closest to him.

“My King” They bowed.

Laufey surveyed the two foot soldiers. One was tall and lean while the other was more brawny and hard around the edges. Laufey held out his blade.

“You!” Laufey looked at the leaner one.

The soldier tensed.

“When you join the army, what was the oath you took?” Laufey asked.

The young soldier was looking left and right and he seems frightened and confused. All around, the training field had gone silent; every eyes were upon them.

“I ask you a question” Laufey pressed the point of his blade against the terrified creature’s chest. Just over his heart…

The soldier swallowed. “That…That I will live and die in your service and in your command”

“Impressive words!” Laufey declared loudly, turning to look at his remaining hundred thousand soldiers who too took the same vow. “Impressive how many brave men I have in my service. I am fortunate indeed!”

 “I live to serve you my King” The soldier said.

“Then I command you to thrust yourself upon this blade” Laufey pressed the blade harder against icy flesh.

The soldier panicked. “I…I…” He stammered. Fear and horror was so clear on his sharp face. He was not expecting this.

“My King” Thrym hissed but Laufey’s eyes were unyieldingly cold and ruthless. He twisted his blade, cutting through skin, drawing blood.

“Do it…as you swear or I will name you an oath breaker and have you executed…” Laufey whispered harshly.

The poor soldier couldn’t utter another word and Thrym could not save him. Not unless Thrym seeks to challenge Laufey’s authority in front of their army!

“I…no….”

"No?"

Suddenly the soldier fell to his knees. “Mercy! Have mercy on me my King! Please!” He begged. “Have mercy!”

Laufey’s lips curled in disgust. Without a thought, without hesitation, he lifted his blade and sliced it down, cutting the soldier’s head clean off his shoulders. Blood spattered, drenching Laufey’s fur breeches and rolling down his firm cerulean body.

“Have his head on a spike on the training ground” He threw the bloody blade away and turns to return to his castle.

He has seen enough.

“Get back to training!” Thrym roared at the rest of his stunned soldiers. “Move it or you will be next!”

There was a great scramble and murmuring and then the sound of clashing blades again. Thrym caught up with Laufey easily, trailing by his side.

“What was that for…?” Thrym hissed the moment they reached the palace. “Do we have so many soldiers that you could afford to use some as practice targets?”

Laufey sneered. “In the war, it is every man for himself”

“…”

“These men do not fight for me. They will certainly not die for me” Laufey said. “They fight for glory and they fight for gold. Half will desert me at the height of war, fearing for their lives. We’ve both seen this damn charade of loyalty before”

“Not all men are like that. I fight for you. And I will die for you”

Laufey halted, turning to look at his General. “You are different. And they are not you Thrym”

“I sure hope not. Farbauti would not be very please”

A smile twitched at Laufey’s lips. He placed a hand over Thrym’s shoulder. Jokes aside…

“You want them to stay? You best have them fear us more than they do the enemy. You best remind them that only death and suffering awaits deserters and those who defies. Better still if you could find some deserters from the last war and parade them on the field” Laufey said.

In the last war more than half his armies deserted him at the height of war when Jotunheim was on fire. Laufey did not forget, and he did not forgive.

Oh no…

When everything had settled, he had all those who were left round up every surviving deserter and ordered their knees broken. Then he strip them of all their assets, have their mates and children put to the sword and have the sinner themselves thrown to the marketplace to live as crippled beggars for the rest of their lives.

Let all see their shame. Let all see what happen to deserters. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

They do not talk about the incident at the temple, but it was by no means forgotten. Thor took Edgar’s advice and did not pry.

He took Loki to the marketplace the next day when he was better and told Loki that he could choose whatever he liked. If Thor had a suspicion that Loki love fruits before, with the way he kept eating them out of decoration bowls back at the castle; that suspicion had all but vanished. Loki wanted all the fruits in the marketplace, picking at least half a dozen of every sort.

“Are you planning for us to have them for every meal, for the rest of our stay?” Thor asked in incredulity.

“Why not?”

Thor grimaced. He rather preferred meat to fruits by a whole lot.

“What about the boar…should we get some of that?” Thor asked hopefully, each hand carrying half a dozen bags of fruits.

He really didn’t think he could survive on fruits alone. The boar seller was looking at Loki, no doubt hoping Loki would say _yes_. By then it was rather obvious to the entire market that the leaner figure in hooded robes was dominating what was being bought and paid for in lovely gold by the larger figure trailing behind.

Loki frowned. “I do not know how to cook”

“I do!” Thor said at once, turning to the seller. He will not live on fruits for the next three days just because Loki did not know how to cook! “We will have a whole boar!” And that was that.

Thor then taught Loki the art of seasoning meat and cooking once they are back in their inn. In all honesty, it could have been worst…the boar was slightly overcooked. Well, actually it was more  like it was charred to rock solid and frankly it was quite amazing how Loki actually managed that when Thor only took his eyes away for a couple of minutes. At least they didn’t burn the inn down was all Thor could say.

“Fruits are easier” Loki said haughtily, tossing Thor another apple.

Thor was never letting Loki cook again. Dinner was taken outside. He refused to have fruits for dinner too.

And after, Thor took Loki to partying on the streets. There were dances, songs, fireworks, performances, drugs and lots and lots of booze.

Loki did not protest to anything, seeming eager to try everything. But Thor was no fool to think that Loki was truly enjoying himself. Everything…the excessive buying, the reckless cooking, and now this, they were all meant to be a distraction. Loki did not want to think, he did not want to remember the incident at the temple. And that was fine by Thor. He would give Loki the distraction he needs, the relief he needs.

“Come on! Dance with me!” Thor shouted through the blaring music.

“I don’t know how!”

“It doesn’t matter! Just move about!” Thor laughs.

It seems that the entire street had turned into a dance floor when the sunsets.

Loki hesitated for a moment before he started imitating someone behind Thor.

“There you go! There you go! Loosen it up!” Thor cheered.

Though Loki’s limbs were stiff and he had no idea what he was doing, Thor continued cheering him on and danced with him. Thor got them meads that were being sold in tankard all over the place. And Loki drank and he drank. With every gulp everything seems better.

Loki had to give it to the Asgardians that they really know how to party. Truly…his world was starting to spin.

Laufey would have a fit if he saw him now, positively drunk… brushing and grinding over another creature not his mate. Laufey had always forbidden him to drink much or stay too long after feasts because of his size; terrified that he would be trampled upon or taken advantage of. Well, Laufey is not here now! Ha!

Their hoods slip off their heads at some point of the night, but they could not remember when.

Loki wraps his arms about Thor’s neck and kissed him. Thor moans, kneading his hands over Loki’s body.

“Hmm” Loki smiles, pulling back a little.

His face was flushed and his head definitely spinning with mead. He was not so drunk that he did not know what he was doing, but just drunk enough to think that it was alright to kiss Thor, or so he tells himself.

“Thank you…” Loki slurred; swaying terribly on his feet.

“For what?”

“Not asking…Letting me forget”

Loki did not need to specify what he was saying but Thor understood.

“Are you tired yet? Should we go?” Thor asked. “You won’t want to sleep your day away. There are still plac-”

“Hush…shhh” Loki placed a finger over Thor’s lips, smiling mischievously. “You talk too much”

“Oh?”

“Yeah…just kiss me” 

 

 

* * *

 

The golden ray of sun poured into Elise’s chamber where she took her breakfast with her father and her little sister. Elise was still in her emerald nightgown, her golden hair that trickles down her back were styled back much like the Queen of Asgard. It seems like a long time before anyone spoke a word.

Dalla, her dear little sister was too young to notice the heaviness in the atmosphere ate away at her pastry happily. She loves Asgard’s pastry. Baldur had snuck into the kitchen and got her some the other day and she had been demanding them for breakfast ever since.

“It is that whore…Jarnsaxa was it? Yes…it is her that you need to watch out for” Bjorn picked up his tea. “She is the competition. And that cow of an elf, she is nothing. Ha! I’ve seen a cow in silk looked better than that plain little thing. Shocking really!”

Elise simply smiles as her father went on and on. She loves her father but sometimes she wished he wouldn’t say half the thing he did.

Bjorn is a great father, a great man, but a lousy diplomat. It is an irony in itself that Bjorn doesn’t play politics. He sugar coats nothing and speak it as it is. A hard man to get along with. But she is different. Charm is a woman’s armor.

“Where is the beast?” Elise asked.

Dalla perked up at the word _beast._ She had always love horror stories or stories of fire breathing dragons. A strange little thing.

“Sulking in some room from what I heard” Bjorn shrugged.

“Ah…” Elise nodded.

“Beast? What beast?” Dalla asked curiously.

“That ugly little Jotun dear” Bjorn patted his daughter’s head.

“But why is he a beast?” Dalla asked. “He is not mean or scary. Baldur said he is harmless when he is not angry. He got the guards chasing him around the castle and makes a fool out of them all and everyone laughs! He makes pretty illusions too! He made some for the King’s lady friend to make her laugh! Baldur said so! And! And Baldur said he will ask for an illusion for me when Loki is happier. Baldur said that if you ask him now, he would likely hex you because he is sad that the King went away for a few days”

Bjorn shook his head. “Asgardians”

Elise had always found it amazing how her father could imply so much with a word.

“For the life of me I can’t understand why anyone would keep such an ugly thing as a pet. They are better off with a court jester, a fool, if they want a laugh!” That was the start of another speech from their father.

Elise lets her father speak as he please.

Her father was too blinded by prejudice to see that it is not Jarnsaxa that is the competition. It is as everyone so eloquently puts it – _the beast;_ that is the real competition.

Her father had not seen or refused to see the way Thor acted around the Jotun.

There was a sort of gentleness and care in the way Thor _handles_ him; as if he fears to hurt him. There was a sort of intimate closeness between them as they move with ease about each other’s personal space.

The Jotun is more than a pet to Thor, that she is sure. But how much more is the question. Is it enough to blind Thor to his duties?     

 

 

* * *

 

Loki was surely not thanking Thor for the hangover the next day. His stomach lurched, acid raced up his throat and he threw himself over the edge of the bed and threw up into the wooden bucket beside his bed. Damn…

“You look a right mess over there” Thor laughs, crawling up behind him. Hands reaching over to pull Loki’s bangs back.

“I’m…going…to kill you” Loki mumbled before his stomach decided to empty itself again.

His head felt like it was lead and it hurts so much. He’d screamed at Thor to shut the damn curtains the moment he woke up. The sun made his headache worst. Every part of his body ached in exhaustion. He felt like he could die.

“No…more parties…” Loki moaned.

Thor simply laughs and took care of Loki for the rest of the day as Loki sleeps it off. Loki ate nothing as food made him ill, but Thor shook him awake several times, forcing him to take sips of water. Loki would have slept though the next day too if Thor hadn’t forced him to go out.

“Come on, fresh air would do you good” Thor said, tugging Loki along the streets.

Thor refused to be stuck indoors on their last evening before he’d have to go back to his gilded cage. Yes…his golden castle is a cage.

Just as in the game called chess that he’d seen Midgardians play a long time ago; the king is the true prisoner of the board, just as he is the true prisoner of Asgard. He cannot leave his throne, he cannot live his life as himself, he cannot speak his mind freely or act as he sees fit without considering Asgard and her people…he cannot even love without considering Asgard.

“You know…I am starting to think that your low tolerance to alcohol might be the real reason why you refuse to feast with us” Thor teased.

Loki mumbled something Thor could not hear as he trudges along under his hood.

Thor took Loki to the lake, avoiding the growing crowd as the skies dim and rented them a little boat.

“Come…I want to show you something” Thor helped Loki into the boat.

Loki did not argue. He was in no condition to argue. Exhaustion was still heavy on his body.

By the Norns…what did Asgardians put in their drink?! If he hadn’t known better he would have thought he was poisoned.

He slumped back against the front of the boat as Thor got them off shore. He let his eyes shut; the soft cool breeze of wind brushes his burning face. He could hear the soft singing of birds, the creaking of insects and feel the river moving beneath the boat as the sweep of the oars sends them towards the red dusk.

After a moment when Loki thought they were far enough from shore, he slides his hood off, letting the wind caress his black tangled hair.

“Where are we going?” Loki asked.

“Perhaps I’m taking you to be sold off to some slave trader”

Loki chuckled and they both laughed.

“Then you are out of luck. No one would want me” He pushes himself up, opening his eyes.

“I would” Thor said quietly.

Cerulean meets emerald.

“Would you?” Loki sounded surprised.

“I would…”

“In this false form?”

“In any form, in any image…I would want you.  And I would protect you” 

“Ah….” A mischievous smile spread over Loki’s lips. “Is that your answer King of Asgard?”

Thor simply smiles offering no reply; the long muscles of his arms stretched and tightened with each stroke of the oars. Further and further Thor took them down the stream, away from the growing noise of the town.

He had done a lot of thinking while Loki slept.

He knows that Loki wanted to be chosen as his consort. He knows that Loki wanted his attention; wanted his eyes upon him only.

Why else such a curse? Why a curse so that he could not leave Loki for long? Why a curse that left him wanting and craving Loki’s body? To torture him? Perhaps...

But there are simpler ways to torture just as effectively without involving sex… He did not think he has the build that young Jotun dream of. He must be repulsive in Loki’s sight and yet…

So… It could only mean that Loki wanted his heart from the beginning.

 _But_ _why?_ _Why would an ambitious crown prince soon to inherit an entire realm seeks the attention of another King?_

It is surely not out of love. When the curse was cast, there was no love between them. They couldn’t even stand the sight of each other. Love…The idea in itself was a joke!

So where does that leave him now?

“ _I am a fool…truly…A fool who had come to care for an enemy”_ Thor thought _._

 “You seem to know this river” Loki commented.

“Aye”

“Do you come here often? I reckon you do”

Thor chuckled. “Aye…in my youth I was wild. I would stay here for weeks with my friends” He admitted.

“And now?”

“I grew out of it. Or rather my father made sure I did”

“What happen?”

“It is an old story”

“Tell me…”

“Ah…” Thor hesitates.

“Come on” Loki grins. “You are hesitating. This has to be good”

Thor chuckled, shaking his head. It was an old memory really; an old tale.

“Come on…” Loki nudged.

“Okay...umm….I was young, naïve and deep in my drink” Thor started, lying down some securities. A lousy excuse but an excuse nevertheless.

Loki snorted.

“And…and I was gambling…”

“Go on”

“You are enjoying this aren’t you” Thor accused.

“Oh yes” A mischievous smile twitched at Loki’s lips.

Thor chuckled. “Alright. I will amuse you. See…I was winning at first but as the night passes, my gold dwindled to nothing. Angry and frustrated and my head spinning with drinks I place Mjolnir on the table. My drunken friends were no better; they thought it a mighty idea too and spur me on. I would bet Mjolnir for all the gold on my opponent’s side” Thor said. “Needless to say, I lost, and Mjolnir was taken from me. Too late was I to realize my folly and I had to return home in shame”

“And your father got your prized hammer back for you no doubt”

“After some yelling but yes”

Loki smiles. Odin is soft. The only artifact belonging to Jotuns that could match Mjolnir was the casket. He tried to imagine what would happen to him if he had lost the casket in such a manner.

_"Dam would surely do more than yelling"_

Laufey would have at least had him whipped after giving him an earful and ordered him to be thrown into the dungeon for a time.

“The Allfather…He seems like a good father” Loki said.

“He is” Thor smiles as he brings the boat to a halt.

Loki looked about him. They were far off shore and the town was but a little speck in the distance.

“Is this it?” Loki asked.

“The water is deep enough and it is quiet enough…no one comes this far from shore usually. They will be curious”

“They? Are you really planning to sell me?”

Thor chuckled at that, lifting the oars into the boat. “You told me once that you came here to explore a world beyond your cage of ice…”

 _A truth weaved with lies._ Thor lifted his gaze to the sky.

Night was starting to fall but not yet. Soon…perhaps in the next half hour or so.

“Are we waiting for nightfall?” Loki lifted his eyes to the sky too, where darkness was starting to engulf the red of dusk. The wind tangling with his hair and brushes his face.

“Aye…” He looked upon Loki. “I want to show you another world” 


	14. Shackles and Chains

As the night chases away the light, where darkness touches the still water, it began to glow softly until it surrounds them. Thousands upon thousands of little cerulean glow seem to rise from far beneath the abyss like foams until it veils the entire stream. The leaves of willow trees framing the far banks too began to glow like gems, swaying, with the breeze.  The winds sings their songs, the rustling leaves whistled their soft melody. 

Loki leaned over the side of the boat and lowered his fingers into the soothing water, the touch of his flesh sends ripples spreading over the still surface. He scooped the water in his palm and let it trickled down between his slender fingers, and they fell like thousands of little diamonds from his hand.

They are beautiful yes, but that was not all Thor had to show him.

“Look deeper…really look…”Thor urged.

He did. Curious…

He stared at the glittering water for a moment before feeling half a fool. He wanted to look away but Thor bid him to keep looking. _Look deeper, really look_ … and the little glowing lights that rise in the updraft from the bottomless deep seem to multiply and grow and suddenly they were rushing up to meet him, and all at once, they seem to be falling too…like snow upon Jotunheim. Then there was a face deep down…a woman’s face.

His eyes widened, his heart skipped a beat but he could not look away. It was as if she had enthralled him, snared him in a trap like a siren’s song.

The face was vague, flickering and shimmering, shifting and changing in the light. But Loki could make out the small oval face, narrow aristocratic nose and parted lips and he could make out her long flowing locks that curl and caresses her cheeks. And those eyes that looked at him were as translucent as the rest of her.

Suddenly those unseeing eyes blink shocking him and before he knew it, there was another face, and another and they were rushing up towards him. 

He pulled back in terror, smacking straight into Thor, sending Thor stumbling back just as a great splash of water burst through the surface. Then everything was tilting to one side and his entire world started to turn at a horrifying axis. The solid ground beneath was swished from under him.

“Thor!” He cried in horror before the boat overturns, throwing them both into the cold water beneath.

Fear, horror, terror surged through him, and he fought to reach the surface with what minimal skill he had. But Thor swam to him, and curled his strong fingers over his wrist and pulled him down.

He was horrified.

_Thor had gone mad! Thor had gone mad! He meant to drown them! No!_

He fought and struggled, wrenching his arms and kicking, but Thor held on. A touch of those large hands on his face was meant to calm him, but he panicked even more; swiping his face from one side to another.

_Thor meant to drown them! Thor had gone mad!_

A hand latched onto the front of his cloak jerked him forth, the other shifted to weave beneath the flowing richness of those midnight locks and Thor smacked their lips together in a kiss. He screamed into the kiss. Thor blew into his lips, letting him breath, calming him before pulling back.

 _“Trust me…”_ Those cerulean eyes told him. _“Trust me. I will not bring you harm”_

Golden hair swirled and curled, caressing over Thor’s face.

Thousands of little lights drifting upwards.

Thor smiled, motioning for Loki to look behind him. Loki did. There was nothing at first and all he could hear were laughter and giggling all around him. And then he saw them, swishing, circling them, playing, teasing.

Water spirits…

Their forms were not truly define, like smoke. Their appearances shimmer and flicker, blending into the water and sometimes not. The current they make made them more define and when they hold still, they were almost invisible. But if you truly look, you could see them…Their translucent body was shapely and curvy, and they shimmer like dew in the sun. Their long curly hair flowed and trickle, caressing over them gently.

They swam closer and one of them came to Thor. Loki watched in awe fascination as vaguely define slender fingers cup Thor’s features almost intimately. The spirit smiled, lowering her head, sealing her shimmering translucent lips over Thor’s. Thor parted his lips willingly and she blew gently into them. Bubbles rose and just as soon, she was gliding away again.

Another came towards Loki and he tensed. The spirit giggled, her tingling flingers brushed up the length of his arm, caressing over his face, and she brought her lips close.

In wild panic Loki looked at Thor who smiled at him. Loki flushed, wanting to kick himself. He didn’t need Thor’s approval! He knew what they were doing. He didn’t need to see if Thor was alright with it.

The spirit looked upon him in amusement, and pressed her lips against Loki’s. He parted his lips and the spirit blew softly, sending air to his lungs and just as soon, she was gliding away again.

Laughter was all around them.

 _“Come little prince…come…you are not the first our King sought to impress…do not fear…”_ The spirits said to Loki.

They tugged them, guide them further down the stream, and deeper and deeper they went. Darkness befell them and more and more spirits came to them. Playing and teasing…

Unbidden a thought came to Loki’s mind _. Where are they really? The river cannot be this deep…_

He turns to Thor. Thor smiled at him, taking Loki by the hand.

The spirits circled them, caressing over their bodies, teasing their hair and laughing; and he could hear them sing…their beautiful voice lulled all around them.

It was truly a different world down here. It was bright, and at once dark…illuminated by the thousands of little glowing lights. And this weightlessness, it was peaceful; the music of their heavenly voices caresses over him like silk. Soon all of Loki’s worries fades away and he saw them.

Strange almost extraterrestrial creatures that rose in terrifying numbers from the endless deep, coming to them, and then they were surrounding them; shimmering in all their ethereal beauty. They were almost translucent; what membrane they had, glowed in a sort of silvery blue. Their long and numerous tendrils hung behind them as they bobbed languidly in all directions, all around him. And as far as his eyes could see, they were everywhere. Some were small while others were so large Loki thought it could engulf him.

He resisted the urge to touch these magnificent creatures least he frightened them away. He turns to see Thor by his side, in wonder.

 _“Do you like it?”_ Was the question in Thor’s eyes as he brings his fingers to gently cup Loki’s face and his thumb caresses Loki’s cheek.

Ebony locks stirred trickling over the back of Thor’s hand.

For a moment Loki thought Thor was going to kiss him, to hold him as if he were the most beautiful creature beneath all of Yggdrassil’s many branches. Loki may have loved the passion, the aggression, the and utter surrender during their rut, but he yearned more than anything, for the sweet kisses Thor would give him after; that would make his chest tighten and ache.

Was that happiness? Or was that sadness to know that everything is a lie of his own creation? He did not know, but he wanted to believe that it is happiness.

The moment pass, Thor did not kiss him but in that spur of the moment, Loki did. His fingers lifted to touch Thor’s cheek with the softest of caress, and he leans forth to seal their lips in a kiss.

Golden locks brushed his nose; Thor’s massive hand slide down his back and tug him close.

The spirits giggled and sang.

 

* * *

 

 

Loki watched the golden castle grew in sight as they galloped under the cover of night, chasing reality. And before he knew it, he was once again back wandering the silent hall of Odin’s golden palace.

Alone… Always alone.

 _“It is late and you are tired. Return to my chamber at once”_ Thor had told him when they dismount. _“I have some minor business to take care of”_

_“At such an hour? And so urgent that you could not even escort me back?”_

_“I...”_

_“War council is it? I think I might just tag along. I find it most intere-”_

_“Loki please! Enough”_

_“…”_

_“There is no council…But I do have business that needs my attention, and it will not be wise to be seen together at such an hour, you know this”_ Thor took Loki’s face between his large hands and presses his lips to Loki’s forehead _“Go rest._ _I will return”_ He promised.

Loki had not return to Thor’s chamber. He did not wish to yet.

The torches flickered; his boots clicked the marble ground as he wandered. The halls were endless and by now Loki knew them all so well as if the back of his hand. He knew every room, every passage and every hall of Odin’s great house by now. He knew the wards that guard the document room, those that guard the armory and Odin’s very chamber itself. He knew the guards that patrol the corridor and he knew their routine. He knew too where he should go if he seeks solace, if he seeks silence, not wishing to be seen.

But it seems the notion of silence was dead in Asgard these days. Drunken warriors were feasting at the halls, performance lighting up the entire city and fireworks blasting through the night.

Loki steps out into the empty training ring to see Sif waiting for him.

“How was your get away?” Sif uncrosses her arms.

She had not been fooled by the Queen’s illusion. And for that the Queen had told her to keep an eye on Loki upon his return.

 _“Thor would not be able to keep an eye on him for a few days”_ Frigga had told her _._

 _“Does Loki know?”_ She had asked.

_“No”_

_“Is Thor going somewhere again?”_

_“No. He will be with me. But say nothing of it to Loki. He must not know; so keep an eye on where he wanders. I do not want him anywhere near my quarters”_

_“Is everything alright?”_

_“It will be”_ Frigga gave her an assuring smile.

“Oh how I have missed you my Queen” Loki smile.

Sif resisted the urge to roll her eyes, following him till he stood in the center of the ring.

Loki could smell the pines from the thick forest behind the palace, the damp earth beneath his feet, the cold in the air and the distinct smell of fire and smoke from the display above him. He slid his hood off, letting the gentle breeze caress his warm face.

Emerald lights flashes; he lifted his face upon the magnificent sky.

“Beautiful isn’t it? Though a little loud I admit” Loki said. “A shame that Jotunheim possesses no such beauty to offer her Queen. But there are beauty of a different kind I assure you”

“Enough with your silver tongue”

“I speak the truth” Loki turns to regard her; his fingers caresses up her arm.

“Liar” She shivered; her fierce eyes upon him, as if daring him to push further.

He did dare. He took a step closer and curls an index finger beneath her chin.

“Truly I tell you Sif, there is no man in all the realms that will be more true to you than I”

“Is tha-” The words were still upon her lips when Loki slid a hand over her waist and press his lips down on hers. “Loki!” She raged; her hands made to shove Loki away but Loki caught her wrist and jerks her forth; kissing her again.

For a moment she resisted, albeit halfheartedly but she did, before she relented.

Loki releases her hands, caressing up her arms. She smelt of fern and blood and salt and leather and steel.

Hesitantly, her hand move up to hold Loki by the shoulder while the other slid up to cup his face and his mouth opens for her. Loki lets her dominate him.

 _“Her fingers are hard”_ He thought.

He knew they must have bled centuries ago when she had first shattered the chains of tradition – abandoning the knitting needle for swords of iron. He knew she must have wept in the night centuries ago when she first started and the men laughs and mocks her for every failure. Just like how his dam’s entire court mocks and laughs at him when he was named heir.

His tongue caresses hers; his fingers reached up to grasp her hard hands; his thumb brushes over the hard calluses that had formed on her fingers to protect her from pain. No longer would they bleed, no longer would they hurt her.

Not much different from himself, Loki thought. After so long, no words could make him bleed anymore. No words could hurt him anymore.

Loki wondered what he was doing. He had wooed her before in hope of having her alliance, had wooed her in hope of using her anger to turn her into a traitor and he had done it to drive Thor to the verge of madness for she holds a special place in Thor’s heart. But somewhere along the way, none of that had seemed to matter anymore. Somewhere along the way, he had continued wooing her because he knew it made her happy and that was enough for him.

Indeed he could not understand why he was doing this. Indeed, he did not know when he had started craving the smile on her face. Was it because he sees in her a mirror of himself and he wanted to give to her all that was denied of him?

It was a long kiss, though how long, Loki could not say. When it ended, Sif releases Loki, taking a hurried step back.

“I…” The next word was lost to her. She looked away in anger at herself, her jaws tight.

“There is no shame in what you desire my Queen”

“ _Sif!”_ She snaps.

She should not have let Loki kissed her. She should not want it...and yet she did. She had never gotten anything that she wanted…not Thor, not recognition, not respect. And Loki gives to her what she needed. Adoration…even if it were a lie.   

 

* * *

 

 

Odin lay peacefully beneath a shimmering veil of gold. He looked so weak and frail; a shell of the mighty king he once was. Thor bends down on one knee and took his father by his hand. The coldness of his father’s skin frightened him. It was as if his father was already lost to him.

These sleeps had always frightened him as a child, and it still frightens him even now. All that change was that he was now better at hiding his fears. No longer did he weep at his father’s side, holding his hand and begging for his father to wake up. But at times, he felt a child again and he wanted to do just that.

How long Thor knelt there holding his father’s hand, he could not say. He did not move until the curtains behind him parted and Frigga glided towards them.

“Thor…” Frigga placed a gentle hand over Thor’s shoulder.

“Mother”

“Have faith my son. Your father will return to us”

Thor knew that her words were her prayer. She was as frightened as he, or perhaps more so. These sleeps have always been difficult on her and it was worst with every recurrence. His father’s sleep would stretch longer…until eventually he would not wake anymore.

Thor stood to his feet. He is her pillar of strength and her tower of refuge. She depended on him, she needed him to be strong or she would crumble. He understands that.

Thor turns to give her an assuring smile. “He will return to us”

“Yes…and you too my love” She reached into her pocket to retrieve a small vial of scarlet liquid and placed it in Thor’s hand. “It is done”

Thor felt his heart skip a beat as he felt the weight to the warm bottle in his palm.

The end of Loki’s curse.

He should be ecstatic, he should be happy, but all he felt is fear. Loki’s soul has been a part of him for so long he had learned to love it; just as slaves soon learn to love their chains. But he will have it destroyed still, for with it, there can be no truth between them. What he did or did not feel, so long as Loki chains him with that curse and the crippling fear of madness, he will believe nothing.

“Are you afraid?” Frigga asked.

“…”

“There is no shame in fear” Frigga said. “Freedom, is more terrifying than the chains would ever be. The chain that binds gives you constrain, it gives you an excuse for what you cannot control, for things you are ashamed of. While freedom dares you with a question…what will you do now, when you stand before each other as two beings with no curse to blame for your actions and all that you feel or not feel for him”

A sad smile touch Thor’s lips. Frigga was wrong...

_What freedom? What of the shackles of duty?_

There is no true freedom even after this. He has been in shackles since the day he was named heir. And perhaps that was why he had not fought harder for Loki’s chains to be removed. He had not demand more vigorously, he had not been as angry as he should be…

Loki’s curse was just another chain among the many chains that bind him. Albeit heavier and he had grumbled and tugged at it, and by no means would he forget it once it was gone…but it was just another chain. Removing one would not free him. It simply makes the weight of those irons more bearable.

 

* * *

 

 

The sound of battle rung beyond the icy wall. Farbauti knew that he simply have to look out a window so see a thousand little camp fire burning across the court yard. Malekiths’s armies were training and so were theirs. The time is near, he could feel it in his bones and he knows he is right.

Truth, he dreaded the war, he dreaded the day Loki would return. Loki is chaos; Loki is death… that is the fate of those who dabble in black magic. But Farbauti still loves him despite all.

Farbauti enters the council chamber to find Laufey where he knew he would be.

Laufey glances up to him from where he sat, but he remained silent. There was nothing to say.

“Come to bed” Farbauti said.

The council had long ended several hours ago, but still Laufey did not leave. Sometimes Laufey did not even return to their chamber.

“I am not tired” Laufey said.

“Then I will accompany you”

Farbauti moves along the length of the table covered in maps, documents and reports until he was by his King and mate. He pulls the chair closest to Laufey and took his seat.

“Let’s start with the position of our armies” Farbauti said, glancing over the map before Laufey.

Laufey smiled. The truth is that neither of them could sleep and so they don’t. It is foolish to lie next to each other feinting sleep when both knew full well that neither of them was, and Laufey had given up on that.

“I love you Farbauti” Laufey whispered.

Farbauti lifted his gaze upon his mate. A gentle smile on his lips.  “And I you, my king, my mate, and my friend”

 

* * *

 

 

For three days, the purging made Thor terribly sick. Cold sweat broke from his skin and he shivered terribly even under layers of wool and silk. His guts heaved, acid rushed up his throat and he threw his body over the side of the bed, throwing up into the bucket Frigga had left him. But whatever he threw up were not the content of his guts. In the dim light of the candle he could see…they were inky black and it tasted of salt and blood and smelt of death.

 _“It’s dying…and slowly…”_ He knew. And there was something deeply sad about it.

In darkness he writhed, in darkness he felt the anguish of a dying soul. And in darkness he saw her…a little girl, watching him. There was something terrible about her. Something foul and she terrifies him beyond anything had ever.

Worst, no one could see her but him.

“Who are you…?” Thor croaked weakly from where he lay.

She did not answer him; simply remain in the shadow, watching him suffer. And Thor did suffer.

His skin burn with fever, his body ached and his head pounded in agony; and when he sleeps, nightmares would plague him so terribly that he would scream himself awake and sometimes he would be so disoriented that he could scarcely tell if he was awake or not or if anything were simply the concoction of his fevered mind.

“Who are you?! Answer me!” He had demanded more than once.

She did not reply. She did not once move from the shadows until the moment Loki’s soul has withered, releasing its last hold. And then she came like a raging storm; rattling the tables, cracking mirrors and snuffing every candle.

He howled, stumbling in his tangled sheets and fell hard on the cold floor. He opens his mouth to shout for Frigga! For the guards! Anyone! But his voice was caught in his throat.

Her chilling laughter echoed loudly through the chamber making the hair on the back of Thor’s neck rise. His heart hammered wildly, his eyes were wide as he backed up to his bed along the floor in fear. A fear so deep… a fear born from within.

He could see nothing, but he knew she was coming towards him.

Icy coldness crawled towards him, biting into his skin, and he could smell the raw stench of rotting flesh and hear wet crackling as if putrid tissues were slowly being peeled apart.

“Who are you?! What do you want from me?!” Thor demanded, looking at last upon her shadow.

He could not see her face, but he could see the silhouette of her little form and there was something moving beneath her feet. Jerking and crackling.

 _“You do not belong to me Odinson…but he does…”_ She said and at once he was plunged into icy coldness.

He collapsed, his entire body convulsed and jerked as he felt to his horror, something crawling up his throat like spider. He coughed and heaved and he saw it. Inky tendrils were being drawn out of him.

 _”Oh! How I have waited!”_ Her maddening laughter shook the walls and split the curtains.

There was nothing Thor could do as he lay there paralyzed; watching in horror as she swallowed the tendrils that was Loki’s soul. And once she was done, she vanished without a trace.

How long Thor lay there paralyzed, he could not say. But the strength in his limbs returned slowly as the bone deep coldness fades.

 

 

* * *

 

The celebration had gone on as planned even with the absent of the King. Meads were being poured in abundance at the feasting hall through the day. But when the night comes, a more refine sort of feasting would be held. There would be harps playing, violins and humming as the High Lords and Ladies and their favored knights and families dances and their Lord father dine on fine wine and food. Their warriors would be given another hall to celebrate in their drunken madness or if they prefer, the tavern and brothels in the city were not short of entertainments.

Fireworks would blast and lit up the entire sky the moment darkness envelopes the light.

Asgard was celebrating; counting down to the day Asgard would have a new Queen.

Rejoice! Rejoice!

Thor stood at the threshold of his darkened room, looking upon Loki who sat on the bed amid chaos about him.

The curtains that framed his massive four poster bed were torn, shreds of fabric hanging off its hinges. The full length mirror was smashed, a thousand shards of silvery glass scattered upon his carpet like little diamonds. And the paperwork he had left on his now overturned desk was sprawled all over the floor. Ink bottles were smashed, feathered quills snapped and the trophies he collected from his many adventures were scattered all over, ripped from their place of fame upon his wall.

Thor guessed he did deserve the state of his room after abandoning Loki without a word for a good four days.

Frigga had told him that when Loki had walked up to her at the feast on the second day of their return and demanded of her to see Thor, he was beside himself. He was deadly pale and his eyes were wild.

Their guest had laughed. Bjorn the loudest of all. _“The King comes and goes as he pleases, but I am sure Asgard do not lack cocks to satisfy your need. Shall I have my warriors help you out little Jotun?”_

They mocked and teased Loki. They did not know that Thor was back; thinking Loki an overly needy pet that misses his master _._

But Loki had not cared; his murderous eyes were upon Frigga only when she told Loki that she had not a clue where Thor is.

 _“I’ve increased the number of guards at my quarters, but still you need to be careful. He is desperate Thor. And desperation is dangerous”_ Frigga had told him that night _._

 _“He feels it..?”_ Thor had asked from where the lay, shivering.

 _“I do not know the extent that he feels the withering of his soul…but he feels it…yes_ ”

Thor shuts the door behind him and move towards the unmoving prince. Emerald eyes stared at him with a sort of predatory violence.

“So you’ve returned at last to me” Loki’s lips curled as he stood to his feet.

“I said I would”

“Liar!”

“Am I not here now?”

Loki hissed, baring his teeth.

“Enough Loki” Thor reached forth. The moment his fingers ought to brush Loki’s arm, it passes through nothingness and the figure dematerialized.

An illusion!

Too late was Thor to react; there was a stirring behind him and at once, an ice dagger was pressed to his throat.

“The mighty Thor…” Loki chuckled, pressing the dagger harder against Thor’s vulnerable throat, but not enough to draw blood. “The Allmother has broken the curse has she?”

“Aye”

“That witch” Loki sneered; shifting to stand before him, the blade still upon Thor’s throat.

Outside, a loud bang exploded. A flare of jade light streaked through the sky, filling the darkened room with a flash of green light. For a moment Thor saw Loki as he truly is, strip of all illusion. Thor stilled. Then the lights faded and Loki was just another shadow in the darkness.

But Thor had seen him.

And so different was he from the Loki that is the picture of control, the picture of power and authority he had conjured up a moment ago.

Loki was a right mess. Dark shadows powdered his blood shot eyes; his skin was pale and sickly; and his ebony hair was in disarray. His clothes were crumbled and he looked maddening.

“So…are you here to kill me now? Torture me?” Loki taunted. “Or perhaps you are here to imprison me so that you could fuck me when your Queen sleeps”

“Is that what you think of me?” Loki’s abusive words anger him. _Coward!_

“I could only think of that if you are not here to kill me. After all, only I know you. Only I can satisfy your perversion”

“A perversion of your making!” Thor spat.

“Is it?” Loki laughed.

“Enough!” Thor bellowed, taking a step forth.

“Stop!” Loki snarled, pressing the dagger hard, drawing blood. “Do not think I would not slit your throat Aesir!”

This time it was Thor who let out a humorless laugh. He was so sick of Loki and of his cowardice and his pretense.

“Are you incapable of truth?” Thor asked.

“Do not think I will not do it!”

“I believe you”

“…”

“I believe you will kill me without a thought if need be. Of that I have no doubt”

“…”

“Put the dagger down Loki” Thor rasped. “Enough of your charade, enough of your lies”

“You know nothing” Loki gritted.

“I know you are frightened of me” Thor lifted his fingers slowly, caressing down Loki’s forearm.

“Thor…Don’t!”

“I will not hurt you. I give you my word” He curled his broad fingers tight about Loki’s wrist.

“Thor…!”

“Give me the dagger”

“No”

“Loki…let go” Thor reached his other hand up to pries the blade from Loki’s hard fingers and he threw it aside.

Cerulean eyes staring into Loki’s emerald ones. Then without a word, without hesitation Thor took a step to cover the space between them and pulls Loki into his powerful arms. His broad fingers combs over the wealth of Loki’s messy greasy hair and he placed a kiss over Loki’s temple.

“Don’t fear me Loki. I will not hurt you…I swear it…” Thor whispered.

Hesitantly, Loki lifted his arm to wrap about Thor’s back, his face hidden against the crook of Thor’s neck.

What now Thor could not say. All he knows is that he could not say that everything would be alright or that everything has been forgotten.

Thor will never forget what Loki had done to him. But he chooses to forgive Loki for the one thing Loki did not do.

Loki did not abandon him to madness when he could, even if the entire fiasco was Loki’s by design. Loki was not cruel to him. He had not stood back and watched him suffer, he had not withheld his touch and he did not hurt Thor when he could. And for that, Thor chooses to forgive Loki.

Another burst of scarlet light through the sky illuminated the entire room and then it faded again.

“You must rest” Thor took Loki to the messy bed.

“So the King returns tomorrow” Loki said.

“Aye”

“You are bleeding” Loki touches the cut on Thor’s neck.

“It’s just a scratch” Thor pushes Loki to sit at the side of the bed and he tugs Loki’s crumbled tunic off.

Loki watches Thor silently as Thor knelt between his legs, undressing him for bed. Large hands worked on him, easing him of his boots and then his pants.

He is so tired…so so tired, he could barely keep his eyes open.

“Loki” Thor looked up upon him. “You are shaking”

Loki looked down at his hands to find that that was true. He was shaking…he did not even notice it.

“Ah…will you look at that” Loki let out a laugh. “I’m shaking. That’s the first”

Thor reached to cover Loki’s hands in his grasp.

Loki let’s his lids drift shut, a laugh bubbled up his throat and he started laughing and laughing maddeningly even as Thor pulls him into his embrace. Loki laughed and then he screamed; his fingers curled, tearing at the front of Thor’s armor.

“It’s going to be okay. I’ve got you” Thor soothed.

 

* * *

 

 

Rain poured the morning after, beating hard against the window and the winds howled like wolves in the night. Lightning flashed, streaked across the sky. Loki was leaning against the glassy window staring out when Thor came to him with a nest for golden hair.

Thor let his gaze drift over the Jotun. So different was Loki from the night before.

This Loki stood tall and proud, arms folded as if he hadn’t a fear in the world and that last night had never happened. He was draped in silken bath robe of black and gold. His damp tresses were combed back neatly to reveal his fair features, clean and void of filth. Dark shadows still powdered his eyes, and he looked slightly pale but he did not look broken or mad anymore. He was once again the image of control, of power and authority.

 _A mask…_ Thor knew.

Without speaking, Thor brushes his hand over the back of Loki’s neck. He noted that Loki’s skin was cold; colder than was usual.

“ _Was it the shower?”_ He wondered. But it didn’t feel like it. His thumb caresses the side of Loki’s neck.

Loki turns to regard him with mocking amusement.

“And you still want this even now?” He mocked. “Animal” He licked his lips seductively.

Thor snorted. “Indeed I have a hunger this morning”

“Oh?” Loki’s eyes sweeps down to the sleeping organ between Thor’s legs.

“For fruit, bread and dry cheese” Thor said. “Should I call us breakfast?”

“Ah…Should you not dine with your guest?”

“I wish to dine with you”

“Why? Do you pity the monster?”

"You are not a monster”

Loki let out a cold chuckle; turning he took a step towards the mighty King. His slender fingers caresses up the hard muscles of Thor’s arm. His eyes, the color of the greenest blade of grass were glint with mischief.

“You still trust me even now…”

“I don’t”

“Hmm…a pity…” He caresses Thor’s cheeks with the back of his fingers. “But if you did…you’d be the fool I always took you for”

“I see” Thor brushes Loki’s fingers away. “I will have my breakfast now. Any preference?”

“Fruits”

“Aye”

With that Thor moves towards the door _._

 _“What will you do now, when you stand before each other as two beings with no curse to blame for your actions and all that you feel or not feel for him”_ Frigga’s words whispered at the back of his mind.

What will he do? He doesn’t know… But he cannot deny that he found himself unwittingly drawn to Loki.

But it matters not. Whatever it is that he felt for Loki, he highly doubts Loki felt the same.

He wondered sometimes if perhaps not everything was a lie. But such thoughts are foolish. With nothing to cloud his mind, he sees it clearly now…he is simply a means to an end to Loki.

He will not forget his duty to Asgard. He will not forget who Loki is. Thor opens the door and commanded the servants to bring them breakfast. They bowed and hurried away.

Unbidden a thought whispered. _“Then what are you doing?”_


	15. Man Without Honor

Lightning streaked across the stormy skies like webs and bolted down with a mighty crash that splits the earth and then a rumble followed. The wind howled and bellowed the trees, uprooting them with a mighty groan. Thor, with all that power of the storm at the tip of his fingers, and with all that strength of the hurricane that brought stones to rubble, with all that strength, he was still powerless before Loki. He could no better will Loki to look at him, to speak to him, to tell him what the matter is than he could will the time to stop at his command.

Loki was once again staring out the window absentmindedly, his breakfast left forgotten once again.  A sickly tinge of grey clung onto Loki’s fair skin and his eyes were blank. His lips pale and he look cold.

Thor watches Loki from where he sat as he ate his breakfast.

Something was different about Loki. This silence, this cold indifference, this staring off was unnatural. It was as if the fire in Loki had been snuffed out and he was an empty shell. Was it because he had killed a part of Loki?

There was so much that Thor did not understand. There was so much that he wanted to ask Loki. _Who was that child? Was it her that you saw in the temple? What have you done to her? What have you done to yourself? What is happening to you?_ Thor wanted to know but yet, he fears the answer.

Loki hoards dark secrets in his heart. Thor would not be so arrogant as to say that he knows Loki. He did not know Loki.

The Loki he sees is the Loki that the Jotun desires him to see – a picture of control, authority and perfection. But under the shadows of darkness last night, Thor has had a glimpse of the creature beneath the mask. Loki is not what he seems. What he is though, Thor could only guess. And from what he had seen, it was at best twisted, ugly, angry and mad with fear and despair.

“Why do you look at me with such intensity?” Loki whispered suddenly, turning to regard Thor.

Thor shook his head. “No…Nothing” He sat his fork down.  “It’s nothing”

“What is it that you wish to know?” Loki asked. _“Go on. Ask me”_

Thor opened and quickly shut his mouth again.

Loki waited for him patiently. His icy gaze unrelenting as Thor unconsciously rubs the nape of his neck.

“What…” Thor started. “What is happening to you?”

“I am dying”

Thor stilled, his heart skip a beat, his every muscle hard. The easy way Loki said it took his voice away for an instant and he simply stared at Loki. He half expected Loki to burst out laughing, to mock him for his expression, to scorn his sentimentality… something! But Loki did not. Loki simply look upon him without a trace of expression on his face.

“And…and is it because of me?” Thor barely dared to ask. “Because of what I…I did? Is it beca-”

“Don’t be a fool” Loki said. “Don’t be so arrogant to think you could possibly kill me”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“No” Loki agreed, looking back out the window.

“Then…Is it your seid…that’s…” 

“In a manner of speaking”

Thor curled his fingers.

“Hela waits for me…isn’t that sweet?” Loki turns to regard Thor with a nasty expression. “Isn’t that perfect? Such a darling little child”

“Loki” Thor growled.

Loki laughs.

“Into her arms will I go, into her fires I will burn. And until the end of times we would be lovers together in Hel” A terrible grin curled over Loki’s lips at the disgust in Thor’s expression. “Isn’t that romantic Thor? I am lusted by death”

“Stop it!”

“Oh! Let me tell you the manner in which she would touch me. The obscene things we would do” Loki did not care for Thor’s protest. “Little fingers would tear at my festering skin, my face and her perfect little mouth would cover my lips and she would sink her teeth into my tongue and tea-”

“Stop speaking like that!” Thor snapped. He hated the way Loki speaks.

“And why not? Is the truth too dark for your taste?”

Thor clench his jaws, anger and sadness tears at him. Anger that Loki did not even seem to care that he was dying. Anger that Loki would speak of it with such carelessness! Such cold indifference! And anger because he knows Loki is manipulating him even now. Even with _this!_

And sadness…sadness because despite everything; that is Loki’s terrible truth. There will be no golden halls for Loki, no cheers, no laughter, and no songs…It is to Hela’s burning gates that he would go. Into the fires he would spread his arms as it consume all of him; as he screams for all eternity in everlasting pain and agony.

“How…How can you speak with such ease?!” Thor demanded.

Loki chuckled.

“I’ve disgusted you haven’t I Odinson?” Loki did not wait for Thor’s denial. “Well then, be glad we would not meet in death”

A roar of thunder crack across the skies and lightning streak down burning a tree just beyond the window. There was a mighty groan and the willowy pine fell with a crash.

Loki hummed.

“Do not put words in my mouth! I do not desire such a fate even for the likes of you!” Thor spat.

“Oh careful there” Loki mocked. “It almost seem like you care about me out of your own free will”

“And would it satisfy your twisted mind to know that I do care?!”

“Satisfaction is not in my nature” He lifted his cup and took a swallow. “And _try_ not to let your sentimentality show. Your concern for a monster would offend your guests”

Thor was spared from thinking of a reply when Loki continued.

“All must die in the end. And when I do, I would have deserved it”

“No one deserve such a fate”

Loki looked at Thor in amusement. “Monsters…” He said. “Do not deserve any less”

“You are not a monster” Thor sighed.

Loki picks up a plum from his plate. “Would you like to hear a tale your Grace?”

“You would speak as you always do whether I wish to hear it or not”

“True” Loki admitted, taking a large bite of the plum, honey liquid, trickled down the underside of his arm. “Did you know that my dam and his Lord General are very close?”

“King Laufey and Lord Thrym you mean?” Thor clarifies.

They were names from books to Thor. Best to at least get the characters of Loki’s yet no doubt another grotesque tale right, if he has to sit through it.

“Aye. You know your history” Loki threw the plum seed onto his plate, wiping his sticky fingers on his napkin. “You see they were lovers before my dam wed my sire. And I suppose the matter of the heart cannot be so easily swayed, I would not know, but they were still terribly close even many years after my dam and sire were wed. Terribly scandalous don’t you agree?”

“I suppose…it is not uncommon” Thor said.

“Perhaps…but you see, it is such a terrible misfortune that the first child of my dam’s body is a weak useless runt”

 _“He is talking about himself”_ Thor thought.

“The High Gods are punishing Laufey for his infidelity was what people were saying. The runt, the shame, the disgrace of Laufey house was the walking reminder of Laufey’s sin was what everyone thought. There was disgust, scorn, contempt, anger…so much anger being thrown at the King for his _infidelity_ and at his deformed child for he is sin embodiment, for he is the product of the King’s unsightly liaison with his Lord General. You see, infidelity _is_ scorned among us…” Loki said. “Well, you would have thought that that was enough to stop their treacherous relationship. But it did not. Laufey simply put those who dare utter such treasonous words to the sword and soon no one dare speak of it so plainly anymore. But they would whisper. They would look upon the runt in disgust and contempt for he is the terrible reminder of the King’s flaw. Some pray to the High Gods for the runt to die…some attempted poison even. They cannot bare the reminder that their King is not without weaknesses. And if the runt dies, then it would be as if it never happened. But alas! The runt was a stubborn one and refuses to die just to spite them all”

By now Thor was staring at Loki in disbelief, his breakfast lay forgotten. _“You are a bastard?”_ Thor wanted to ask but his tongue was seemingly stuck to the roof of his mouth.

Loki smirks.

“The runt grew and was soon named heir even when he has two perfect younger siblings of normal size. And Lord Thrym was not unkind to the runt as everyone was. He neither loved nor hated the runt even though the runt was a constant shame of his beloved King. One thing Lord Thrym never did was that he never took part in mocking his beloved’s child, even when his men would. This _kindness_ was taken as confirmation to the truth of the vile rumor. The whispers then of unseating the runt grew louder with each passing century...they challenge his legitimacy as heir… they challenge  _my_ legitimacy!” Loki spat.

“What did you do then?” Thor asked. “ _I do not want to know this”_

Loki let out a humorless laugh.

“If Laufey had given in to these voices, I would have lost everything. So I took care of things as I usually do...” Loki said. “I terrify these traitors into silence so that they would never speak against me again. And I have Lord Thrym loath me as he should to quiet suspicions all in one stroke”

“…”

“I waited for the right time. I needed to send a message to those who dare speak against me after all. I waited until Lord Thrym spoke against me before my dam. His accusation was by no means untrue but there was my chance. And it was then that I kill Lord Thrym’s unborn child in his mate’s womb with my seid. Just like that…” Loki snapped his fingers, indicating the simplicity of it all. “I do not quite know if a child soon to be born feels pain or if it could cry. But I burn the babe in the very womb it grew. Well, that was the end to those damn whispers of my legitimacy”

Thor could taste bile in his throat. He knew the tale was true. He did not know what to say to Loki’s blatant indifference to infanticide.

Loki saw the shock and disgust on Thor’s face and he laughs again. “Do you not like my tale _oh-honorable-one_? Is it not to your taste?”

“Lord Thrym…” Thor’s throat felt dry “He…he should be glad his entire family was not put to the sword for treason… he sullied the bed of your dam and sire” Was the best Thor could manage.

Loki hummed; he picked by a berry and tosses it into his mouth.

“You…you are not a monster. You avenge your sire” Thor said, though his words felt empty.

“I made no such claim” Loki popped another berry into his mouth. “Their scandalous relationship was of no matter to me. I just could not afford to have my legitimacy challenged and sought to silence these treacherous voices. But do you know what the most amusing thing in this tale was?”

“I find nothing amusing”

“Well, I do” Loki leans back in his seat and grin. “There was no infidelity. Those were just rumors. People always do love to whisper dark things of their kings. Well yes, they were lovers before, and I am sure to the end of times they would ceaselessly love each other, but they never acted upon it again after the day my dam wed my sire…Out of honor perhaps, I would not know. But they have never betrayed my sire. And I am no embodiment of sin. I am just an anomaly that happens from time to time”

Thor was feeling sick. “And…and you know all this even before you did it?” He asked.

“Well yes"

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was early in the morning when Helblindi snuck his way into Byleist’s quarters that he heard furious whispering in the next hallway.

He halted. He knows that he shouldn’t be eavesdropping. He shouldn't even have come to Byleistr’s quarters unannounced. Byleistr didn't like that. Something about not being proper. Byleistr had always liked the formalities of things. But Helblindi knows that if he made his arrival known, Byleistr would have the guards stop him at the threshold of the younger’s wing, saying that he was busy and any matters could be convey through a letter.

A damn letter!

Well, Helblindi would not have that. He would see his brother when he pleases, but this was starting to seem like a bad idea. Perhaps he should just turn back. Byleistr does seem to have company.

“Well do something…!”

“I’ve told you, it has been decided... Stop pestering me everyday…! And we must stop these meetings least we be caught!”

“You promised me!”

“I promised you nothing! You volunteered!”

“I see no difference!”

“Norns! What is it that you want me to do…?”

“I don’t know…!” 

Helblindi recognized those voices. It was Byleistr’s and Thrym’s. Those two were always closer than he’d liked them to be. It was no secret that Thrym did not like Loki. He’d made it obvious for a very long time. Why that was, Helblindi did not know the details.

He edged closer to the corner and strained his ears. It was very strange that the two were quarreling though.

“You have to convince dam to attack Asgard or at least give Loki an army…” Byleistr was saying.

“What for?”

“I need protection if I am to do it…!”

“ _Do what?”_ Helblindi frowned.

“I am not going out there with only Malekith’s army…!” Byleistr hissed.

“There is no need for you to do that. And you are mad if you think your dam would allow you to go with Loki to Asgard on suicide mission…! Well, if he even comes back at all that is…I hope he does not” Thrym said nastily. “And to tell you honestly, I care not how he dies. By your hands or the Aesir’s or Malekith’s…they will satisfy be just the same”

Helblindi tensed. “ _They are talking about killing Loki”_ He realized in horror.

“And what of me…?!” Byleistr gritted. “You mean to take away that pleasure from me…?” 

 _"What?!_  "Helblindi could not believe what he was hearing. Conspiring to kill the crown prince is treason! Worst! Byleistr wanted the pleasure of doing it?! Byleistr wanted the pleasure of murdering his own sibling?! 

“Are you mad?!” Helblindi cried, stepping out from where he hid.

Thrym and Byleist turned at once in shock.

“I could understand this shit coming from that swine!” Helblindi pointed at Thrym. “But you?!”

He moves towards the two. His fingers curling into a fist. He had never felt more betrayed! If Byleistr could kill Loki, what is stopping Byleistr from killing him? Or Dam? Or sire?! You do not betray your own blood!

“Stay out of this brother” Byleistr hissed.

“Or what?! You will slaughter me in my sleep?!”

“You are being ridiculous!”

Thrym raised his hand. “Helb-”

“I will deal with you later!” Helblindi spat at Thrym.

Thrym frowned but he did not push it.

“And you…!” Helblindi turns to glare at a brother he did not know anymore. “How could you?”

Byleistr snorted. “That is what it means to take the throne dear brother”

“…”

“Did you know…in the past, siblings slaughter each other in cold blood before their dam’s entire court until there is one left. Then he will face his King and take his head, and only then will he ascend to his rightful place upon the throne” A terrible smile stretch over Byleistr’s lips. “That brother…was our tradition. The price of power is measured in blood. You would know if you had paid attention to our tutor as a child”

“Kill me then” Helblindi whispered icily.

Byleistr did not move; an ugly expression twisted over his face.

Helblindi sneered, throwing his arms apart. “Do it! Do it or I would expose you! Do it or I will take the throne! It is so easy isn’t it?!”

“You know nothing!”

“And what do you know?!” Helblindi demanded. “You speak of a tradition that your King, our dam, outlawed! And for good reason, simply to justify your end! You are nothing but a selfish, foolish child!”

“I am not a child!” Byleistr swung his fist, smashing into Helblindi’s face, splitting his lips.

Helblindi roared, tackling Byleistr onto the floor. Shouts and curses rang.

Thrym pinch the bridge of his nose, not even bothering to intervene as he heard running footsteps. It would have been a miracle if no one came to investigate the commotion. The two probably woke up half the damn castle. Laufey will surely hear of this.

Thrym raised his hands in surrender when the guards came to break up the fight.

As expected, Helblindi ordered his arrest for treason. Thrym lets them cuff him without protest. He’d rather walk to the dungeons with dignity than being drag there.

 

 

* * *

 

 

After _that_ tale, everything that Thor ate tasted of ash. He did not know what to say so he said nothing more all through breakfast. He was about to call in the servants to clear their unfinished breakfast when there was a creak at his door and little Baldur popped his head in.

“You are back!”  Baldur beamed, running towards them; oblivious to everything around him.

Loki looked away, taking another sip of his tea. Thor was still naked but that did not seem to bother Baldur as he climbs onto Thor’s lap.

“Hello little one” Thor stroked his soft hair.

Baldur did not seem to hear him as he looked straight at Loki.

“Good morning Loki!” Baldur grinned at him widely.

Loki frown. Little Baldur, with a head full of wavy golden hair that went just above his shoulders and large cerulean eyes, he was a splitting image of Thor. Baldur had never spoken a word to him before today; preferring to scurry around him and watch him with wide innocent eyes.

“Are you happy?” Baldur asked. “Brother is back!”

“I can see that”

“So you are happy?”

Loki was spared the need to think of a reply to such an innocent question when Thor let out a laugh.

“He wants something from you” Thor said.

“Hee…” Baldur grinned, not denying.

“What is it?” Loki sighs.

“Dalla wants to see pretty magic! We all wanted to see pretty magic!” Baldur said.

“ _We?”_

“All my friends! I told them you do pretty magic! And they want to see it!”

Loki narrowed his eyes.

“Can we?! Can we?!” Baldur asked excitedly.

“Do I look like a court jester to you?” Loki asked coldly.

“N-no…but you did it for Lady Sif. So I tho-”

“And are you Lady Sif?”

“No…”

"Are your _friends_ Lady Sif?”

“N-no…”

“Then no”

Baldur bit his bottom lip that started to tremble, and tears were starting to well up in his cerulean eyes. Loki noticed that Thor was glaring at him warningly but he did not care.

“But… but…you did it f-or her…” Big fat tears were rolling down Baldur’s chubby cheeks.

“Lo-” Thor started.

“I am not anyone’s fool!” Loki sneered at Thor; and then he turns to Baldur. “You best learn that tears will get you nowhere. Wipe it off. I hear on Asgard they call man who cry _ergi_ ”

“That’s enough!” Thor shouted in indignant.

“I hate you!” Baldur screamed, shoving the table and upended the entire structure. Plates came crashing, burning tea splashed onto Loki’s lap and hands.

Pain sheered, Loki howled, stumbling to his feet.

“Baldur!” Thor shouted.

“You fool!” Loki shrieked; slapping Baldur hard across his face.

Thor roared in fury, grabbing Loki’s damnable wrist so hard Loki gasped in pain. Baldur wailed, running out the door.

“How dare you!” Thor spat. Thunder, lightning crashed and flashed.

Loki hissed in pain and fear as he gazed upon Thor. He had never seen Thor so furious. He was white and he was shaking in fury as his fingers constricted cruelly.

“Th-Thor…” Loki sounded frightened. And he should be.

“I should break your hand” Thor gritted; releasing his hold brutally. And without another word, he stalked to grab his clothes from his wardrobe and started dressing.

“Where are you going?” Loki demanded; but Thor ignored him. “That little fool burn me! And did you not hear him?! He meant to take me for a fool! He meant to humiliate me before his _friends!_ Do you think I do not know how you Aesir see seid?! And yet you are mad with me?!”

“No Loki!” Thor turns to him, his expression hard. “All he wanted was to see your seid”

“Oh you blind oaf!”

“No! You are the one who do not understand anything!” Thor gritted, clasping the last of his buckle. “You live in a world of imagine slights and twisted-truth. You are in love with your own pain. You are in love with your own anguish and you love to play the victim! Not this time. You do not get to do that this time! You do not get to blame anyone this time!” He spat, leaving at once without waiting for Loki’s respond.

He will let Loki get away with mocking him, insulting him, hurling all of his kindness and compassion back at his face or even spit on him, but he will not tolerate Loki striking Baldur. No one owes Loki anything. Loki is like a spoilt child without boundaries.

No doubt he is sure that Laufey and Farbauti loves Loki unconditionally. But it seemed to Thor that they had never taught Loki that there are consequences to hurting others, to being cruel and unkind, and that forgiveness will not be endless. And it also seemed to Thor that they had never taught Loki that he doesn’t get to play the victim at every turn; blaming everyone but himself.

So Thor will do them a service now, and teach their _child_ a thing or two about reality.

 

* * *

 

Vigdis, the Elven Princess, the second daughter of King Leif, walked the halls in a flowing gown of pristine white. Ornate design of gold and emerald weaved beautifully into the seams of her sleeves. Her hair of gold braided with strands of silver glittered beneath the brilliant white light.

She knew the things other whispered behind her back, she has heard their laughter and saw their pointing. They thought her plain and they laugh at her for thinking she ever stood a chance with the Aesir King. Let them think as they will. She had learned long ago to ignore them; because that is all she could do.

She smiles, her fingers tightened over Thor’s powerful arm as Thor spoke to her kindly.

He had her talk of herself, what _is her favorite music? What is her favorite play? Poetry…does she like poetry_? She knew that Thor was not genuinely interested in her answers, but he made the effort to seem like it. And he laughs at her jokes no matter how silly she thought it was.

 _“He is being kind”_ She knew.

There was no real joy in the King’s eyes, and his laughter sounded hollow and empty and his smile did not reach his eyes. There was sadness in him, anger, frustration and exhaustion; but yet, he would put on a mask for her. He would entertain her; and for that, she is grateful.

But enough…

 _“I may have grown up with tales of gallant knights of golden locks like the other girls, but unlike them, I know they are just tales. I do not expect you to be unmoving, fearless and without flaw. I do not expect a golden knight in shining armor…I do not expect a perfect hero”_  

“Tell me of Alfheim” Thor said.

“Are you alright my Lord?” Vigdis asked instead.

Thor tensed, taken a back. The simplicity of that question took his voice away for an instant. No one had ever asked him _that_ before.

“I…I’m fine good Lady” He said hurriedly, smiling.

Vigdis was not fooled. “And what of things with Loki?”

“What of that beast?”

“Speak to me when you are ready”

“There is nothing to speak”

“Then I will entertain you until then” Vigdis smiles kindly. “You ask of Alfheim yes?” And so she entertains him.

She told him of Alfheim, of the pillars of silver and ebony framing the marble pathway in the city. Of the ivory cathedral and the magnificent falls that cuts across the floating city. Of the songs that would fill the city and the sweet fragrant that would fill every room. And of the white light of the moon that would shine upon them when night falls and the towering trees that would veil them from the harshness of the sun.

As usual, Thor looked upon her and smile as she spoke, but she knew that his mind was not with her. It’s alright… It matters not to her.

 

* * *

 

 

Laufey sat upon his throne looking at his two battered children and his Lord General in chains. He had done his best to keep this incident a secret. He had threatened every guard that was present that if a word of this gets out, every single one of them will be executed without trial. Best to keep each other’s mouth seal then, if they value their lives.

And from the guards that had arrested Thrym he was told that Helblindi had shouted treason; that Thrym was planning to murder the Crown Prince and have Thrym thrown into the dungeons. But Laufey had a feeling that that wasn’t the whole story.

If it were, how then was Byleistr involved?

If Laufey had to take a general stab, he would say that Byleistr was conspiring with Thrym.

Truly, Laufey have to wonder, if this is really the time for everyone to be fighting over the throne. Did he miss the memo that he was dying or even sick?! Or did everyone miss the memo that Jotunheim is at the verge of war?!

First things first…

“Take off the chains” Laufey motioned to Thrym.

Helblindi opened his mouth to protest but Laufey sends him a withering glare that silences him.

Thrym thrust his hands forth for the guards. The sound of metal clinging echoed through the chamber. Thrym rubs his wrist once the damnable chains were taken off.

“I will speak to them alone!” Laufey commanded.

There was a moment of shuffling feet but soon when the door clicks shut and there was silence.

“So?” Laufey rose from his throne, coming down the steps towards them. “Conspiring to kill the crown prince?” He looked from one stubborn face to the next. 

No one was answering him.

“Thrym” Laufey walks towards him.

Thrym will not lie to him and even if Thrym did, he would know it. Thrym cannot lie to him back then when they were lovers and more so now when he is his King.

“Tell me. Is this true?” Laufey asked.

“Yes”

Laufey backhands him, hard. Thrym took them without protest. He could taste blood in his mouth and he spat out a chipped tooth.

Laufey hissed, and then he turns to regard Helblindi and Byleistr.

Byleistr, the youngest of his flesh and blood. Byleistr is more like Loki than Byleistr would ever admit. They are no longer children. Ambition and power have melted away all the innocence, kindness and compassion from them, and left them hard and ruthless.

Only Helblindi, though not the youngest still possesses the innocence of a child while his two brothers schemes and lies behind his back. Laufey did not know if he should consider that a blessing or a curse, as it always is when it comes to his second.

He considered things for a moment.

“Both of you will be confined to your rooms until I say otherwise”

“That’s it?!” Helblindi cried. “You are no fool dam! You know Byleistr is involved in this and yet all you do is sent him to his room as if he were a child?! And why was I punished too?!”

“I didn’t know you wish me in chains _brother_ ” Byleistr sneered.

“Silence!” Laufey snaps.

This is far from over. Byleistr will be punished. But not now. Not when Malekith is here. Only a fool would flag to their enemies that there are mistrust among the ranks.

“Get out of my sight…both of you” Laufey hissed.

“What of Thrym?!” Helblindi demanded.

“You stay out of it”

“Of course dam would want that brother” Byleistr snorted. “Dam means to fuck his dear Thrym raw as punishment! Bet half of Thrym’s get are our siblings”

At once, an ice blade spikes from Thrym’s hand and he swished it to Byleistr’s neck.

“Watch it _child_ ” Thrym warned. “Don’t go running your mouth every time you are displeased. A good way to make enemies”

Byleistr snorted. “Killing me doesn’t prove me a liar. Only that you fear what I might say. You should know…” He smirks “After all, you’ve put many to the sword for their accusation that you are Loki’s sire. It did not kill those accusation did it Lord Thrym?”

“You might want to keep those treasonous words to yourself. Or I might just claim you as mine and name you a bastard. Good luck disputing that. There will always be doubts to your legitimacy then”

“That is enough!” Laufey shoved Thrym’s blade away.

Thrym growled.

Helblindi was looking at all this in undisguised shock and then his face twisted into anger. “You were cheating on sire?!” He cried in utter horror.

Laufey took in a deep breath and prayed to the Gods, any God that was listening to give him patience.

Byleistr looked upon his oblivious sibling in amusement. Did Helblindi not hear the rumors while he grew up?

“Not now Blindi” Laufey gritted.

“How could you! Did sire kn-”

“Enough! Both of you get out now!” Laufey snarled.

Helbllindi looked like he was about to protest when Byleistr grab his arm. “Come dear brother. Let’s leave dam to _it_ ” Byleistr said.

“Byleistr! One more word from you and you are for the dungeons! Do you hear me?!” Laufey bellowed.

Byleistr laughs, pulling Helblindi out the door before Helblindi could utter another stupid word. The moment the door shuts; Laufey turns to Thrym in pure anger.

“And you! How dare you betray me?! How dare you conspire against me?!” Laufey roared. “I trusted you and you betray that trust! How dare you?!”

 

* * *

 

 

The musicians play a soothing tone that contrasted the flashing crashing rain just beyond the titan windows as the King’s guest danced in all their elegant grace. Shimmering gowns twist and flowed like water in synchrony, sweeping across the magnificent ballroom in all their glorious wonder. And Thor…Thor was brilliant. You would not have expected it from his hulky build, but he shifted and turns, sweeping across the room with all liquid grace. And the intensity upon which he looked upon his partner, Elise; and the way in which he held her, was one to be envied.

Loki clenched his jaws as he stared back at his plate of half finish dinner. Any other time, it might have been a delicious meal, but tonight the foods were all flavored with anger.

Thor had refused to talk to him or even look at him since that incident with Baldur...and it had been a good three days.

 _“I did nothing wrong”_ Loki thought bitterly.

He refused to think that he did. But truth, he did not feel so great after Thor had stomped out of the room three days ago. And there was the issue that the last and most critical part of his scheme to ensure a short war had pretty much gone to shit since the Queen broke his curse. But he thought he still had a chance. It is not over yet. He could still salvage this. Thor is a sentimental fool, and if he played it right, Thor would still choose him.

Truly, Loki found it hard to believe that his triumph or failure would hinge on something as pathetic as sentiment.

Unbidden, Loki's gaze drifted towards a little corner of the room where a jester was entertaining the little children. He’d crack a huge egg over the head of a little elven child and from it burst forth a dozen doves that soar in all their grace through the chamber.

Loki watched in silent from where he sat as the jester was now pulling endless knotted cloths of all color from one of the Vanir child’s ear, all the while with a dramatic expression of shock upon his face. The children laughed. Little Baldur was sitting in the front row, shrieking and laughing in boyish joy when the jester turn his attention to the little prince and pulls a flower from behind his ears.

The children do seem to genuinely like tricks. Loki considered if he should play the fool. He knew it would win him back into Thor’s grace.

So what if Thor’s guest would mock and laugh at him?

“ _No one saw me for a prince anyway”_ Loki thought bitterly _._ “ _I am just an amusement…an interesting pet with a temper to them at best. Or a mindless beast at worst”_

Baldur caught his staring and turn those wide innocent eyes to the Jotun prince. The little prince beamed and waved his chubby little hands at Loki.

Unthinking, as if Loki knew what he should do, he lifted his hand and beckoned for Baldur to him.

Baldur lit up and came running to him with open trust and faith. Everything has been forgiven.

Loki made sure that Baldur stood a little away from him, least those grabby fingers reach to touch his Jotun skin.

“Loki?” Baldur looked upon him with bright curious eyes. It was as if he was blind to how different Loki was from him.

“You like tricks yes?” Loki gave him a smile, though that was the last thing he felt like doing.

Everyone was watching them; from eyes filled with disgust to anger to curiosity and to mockery; but Baldur seem oblivious to everything, nodded his head in excitement.

“Magic! Magic! Pretty magic!” The little prince shrieked.

“Call your friends then. I will show you magic beyond what your jester could ever dream of doing”

“Truly?”

“Yes little one…as an apology for…” Loki trailed off but Baldur wasn’t even listening.

Baldur turns to his friends and shrieked. “Come! Come! Loki would do magic! Pretty magic!” Baldur shouted it loud enough that the entire hall heard it.

The music came to an abrupt stop and all that could be heard for an instant were the laughter of children. Laughter filled with joy.

“Magic! Magic!”

“Ice magic!”

“Pretty magic!”

Loki turns to the dance floor to see that Thor was looking at him; his expression unreadable.

 _“This is for you Thor…I will play the fool for you. So look at me, and don’t you dare turn away”_ He stood to his feet as a troop of at least three dozen children running towards him without fear of the _monster_ before them.

And suddenly as if someone had flicked the switch, there was uproar of shouts and curse and the loud shuffling of chairs. At once Sif drew her sword and move to Loki’s side in defense.

A rolling thunder of hatred, fury and fear engulfed Loki from all sides. _“Monster!” “Beast!”_ were being flung at him in wild fury. And to Thor were spats of contempt _“Will you let this slide too King of Asgard?!” “Are we dealing with beast now King Thor?!”_

Some too were shrieking for their children. _“Get away from the monster Arora!” “Come here Bran! Get here now!” “Dalla! What are you doing?! Come here!”_ And mix in with the violence Loki could hear the words _“Chains”_ _“Dungeons”_ _“Flog” "Spike”_ and _“Head”_

Some children halted in their steps, unsure of what to do, while others ran back to their parents and yet some were taken off by their mothers who threw him a nasty look.

“Don’t you dare touch my child you monster!” One Vanir mother snarled at him _._  

From all corners of the room, Loki could see the guards moving towards him. Sif tightened her grip on her sword.

Thor swept his gaze across the chaotic room in irritation. This has gone far enough!

“That is enough! All of you!” Thor bellowed, his voice boomed like the mighty thunder that crashed beyond the walls, commanding silence in an instant.

Thor looked upon the room in displeasure to be met with equally displease looks.

“Is this a tavern?! Are you the sons and daughters of commoners?!” Thor demanded, looking at every one of their face, shaming them.

Baldur and a now much smaller group of children were looking around uncertainly.

“Loki will bring your children no harm. I swear it” Thor said. “And if it would calm your worries, I would accompany them”

No one said a word to it.

“Well then!” Loki declared loudly. “Whoever that still wish to see this _pretty_ magic, come along!” With that, Loki sweeps out of the room.

He did not see who was following him, he did not dare. It was bad enough to play the fool, but to not even have an audience…he did not think he could stomach that humiliation. But if nothing else, the oaf would pity him, and Loki would take what he can.


	16. Half-truth

Before the golden throne, Loki stood with his arms stretched on either side of him and his mouth opens to sing in old Jotunheim. Deep and beautiful and sad was his voice that rose to the heavens and filled the entire chamber.

Thor watched in awed, as white light descended upon Loki, and then shimmering golden thread in the hundreds seeming to rise from the very ground Loki stood, trickling and curling all over the prince and bellowing his ebony locks and furs. Then with a wave of Loki’s hand, the thread sped off, leaping from pillars to pillars playfully, teasingly, and curling, stirring and contracting in all their beauty.

With a loud sharp crack of the whip, ice raced across the entire hall, crawling up the pillars and walls; and thick mist spread and rose.

The children shrieked in wonder, their parents gasped in fear and horror and there was at once a tumult of shouts of rage. There was an uproar and a mad scramble as parents ran in an attempt to snatch their children into their fearful embrace.

The Elven guests were the only calm ones, seeming to think them all petty as they watch their children play and laugh, attempting to conjure their own little dancing lights to entwine with golden threads.

Thor could not help but chuckle at the wondrous display of lights as Baldur let out a peal of laughter when a jet of golden light flew down his tunic.

“Look! Look!” The Elven children shrieked in excitement attempting to catch the golden lights that raced and crisscrosses, bursting when they met head on, illuminating the dark chamber with flashes of emerald, gold, cerulean and white.

Innocent bodiless laughter echoed and the heavenly voice that sang in old Jotunheim resonated. And then before Thor’s very eyes the entire chamber just seem to fall away; the landscape of gold morphing to misty white of ice and snow. And at once, there was a deafening groan and the entire chamber shook as titan structure seem to crack the ground as they rise as if a sunken ship thrown up by the waves.

Thor reach out a hand as the tip of the building rose and passes through his flesh like icy mist. He smiles in wonder, his eyes wide.

Illusions….

Soon, huge ice structures stood all about them as they have never seen it. There were hundreds of towering ornate buildings and bridges of impossible height connecting them with the rushing waters roaring beneath. There was an ice cathedral with her high glittering windows, large booming bells and hundreds of monstrous stairs framed by Jotun warriors of old with their ice blades raised, forming an archway behind them. And there were towering trees of gold with their pillars of black and silver.

A mirage of Jotunheim in her glory days Thor knew. He had seen the pictures in books, but they were nothing compare to what was before his eyes.

 _“Beautiful…”_ He thought.

He let his gaze drift across the once chamber. Snow covered the ground and fell from high above. The walls were no more to give way to the magnificent city of ice; the ceiling was gone, to reveal the beauty of night, the thousands upon thousands of glittering stars.

Thor knew that the enchanted night sky though, was not of Jotunheim. For Jotunheim’s moon was red and harsh, painting the night in blood. There was an ominous beauty to it Thor suppose, but it would not have suited the children.

The Elven children laughed and clapped.

“Snow! Snow!” They ran. Some were attempting to make snow balls while others toss themselves into the powdery softness in joy. The snow and ice are real, but everything else is an illusion.

“Welcome to Jotunheim” Loki declared.

There was a chorus of harsh murmurs as the parent’s spoke to each other.

“The great city of monsters” He moves down from the steps.

The crowd parted as the prince strode, as if monstrosity was contagious.

Against the stark whiteness, dim backdrop and mist swirling beneath Loki’s feet, Thor thought Loki looked mystical as the Jotun prowled to a halt before him. Scarlet eyes bore into cerulean ones. Thor could hear sharp whispers and hissed beneath the laughter of children and he could feel hostile eyes upon them.

“Would this suffice your Grace?” Loki smirks, tilting his head mockingly.

At once Thor felt anger. _“Coward!”_ Thor wanted to spit at the damn Jotun. _“You hide behind your mask as if it were a damn fortress!”_

Every damn time, Loki would twist his actions and words into something ugly and bitter. As if he is without hope, as if he is truly the monster everyone says he is. And yet…he wanted Thor’s favor. Loki is a contradiction in itself. His actions and words do not match. Thor is sick of his game! 

 _“What is it that you really want?”_ “If you want forgiveness, come out and say so” Thor gritted.

“Forgiveness?” Loki let out a chuckle; taking a step back he bowed mockingly. “Good night your grace” He turns to leave.

Thor did not stop him. The crowd of furious parents murmured to each other.

 _“Anything could have happen!” “The King simply stood there and let that monster do as it pleases!” “That monster is too much!” “Did you see that power?!” “Did you see it?!” “Did you see what that thing could do?!” “So the rumors were true!” “I heard it practices dark magic!” “Blood magic I heard!”_ Were being whispered furiously.

And there were sharp slamming of doors as some carried their wailing children away.

“I want to play!” A wriggling child wailed in her mother’s embrace as she was forcefully taken away.

It was quickly turning into chaos.

“Calm yourself! Please! He would not have harmed you!” Thor said, raising his hands.

“And how would you have known?! Would you trust that thing with your life Son of Odin?!” Charged a woman.

Thor tensed.

The crowd grew ever louder.

The King is useless! The boy King is a fool! Such power! The monster could have killed them all with his seid and yet… Why is the monster’s seid not bound long ago?!

Louder and louder they became till it was blatant accusation.

They could not believe the Son of Odin. He was not just keeping another animal! He is keeping a monster! A true monster! That powerful display of spell work proves that the ridiculous rumors are true. The crown prince of beast is a powerful sorcerer. What else of the rumors could be true? That it practices black magic? Blood magic?! Have the beast cursed them all?! The monster could have killed them all! Kill their children!

“What is the matter with that boy king?!”

“He is bewitched I tell you! Dark magic! It must be!”

“Will Gods treat with beast now your _Grace_?!” A Vanir man spat boldly, stepping before the boy King.

“I thought the Son of Odin was more than just another pretty face!” A dwarf snarled.

“How could you allow such a monster to run rampant with his seid?! Are you mad boy?!” A fire demon bellowed in shaking fury.

In a heartbeat more and more bold accusations were being hurled in abandon.

Elise could not believe what she was seeing. “Stop it! You are speaking to a king!” She screams in indignant.

“Silence woman!” A dwarf spat at her feet.

She reeled, slapping him hard across his bearded face.

The dwarf said nothing, his lips curled in disgust at the sight of her defending the fool king. His King would be glad that he has no daughters to marry off to this oaf.

“My Lord! Say something!” Elise cried, turning to Thor.

Thor was eerily silent, letting them hurl abuse to their desires beneath the laughter of children behind them.

Vigdis watches Thor’s persecution silently. She could not hear the words for the Elves had decided to silence that portion of the room so to not frighten the playing children, but she could still see the furious movement of their lips.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thor did not return to his room for a long time. He watched from the high windows at the lines of torches burning beneath the shadows of night as the dwarfs marched to the bifrost. The dwarfs would not stay a minute longer. Not with a monstrous sorcerer running rampant with its seid unbound.

Thor did not blame them… all their accusations were true. Loki could have slaughter them all. There was no denying that he had placed all his guests at the mercy of an enemy he could neither stop nor bind.

A flash of lightning streak, he could see the thousands of armored warriors marching in the dark and the next moment, it was no more, and only their burning torches were visible in the night.

Thor wouldn’t be surprised if he awoke to the Vanir or Fire demons leaving come the break dawn. He backed away from the window and returned to his room. He spoke to no one and saw no one. Loki was already asleep when he returned, much to his relief. He did not wish to deal with him. Not now… Not tonight. His head hurts and he just wanted to sleep.

He shed his clothing as silently as he could and climb under the covers.

Sleep found him yes… and so did nightmare.

It was always the same ones. It was always that the shameful truth he so desperately hid had been found out.

It was either that Asgard had found out that he was a bastard, or it was Frigga holding her baby boy Vali in her arms, weeping and screaming at Thor for what he had done. And he could never bear the hatred in her wet red eyes, the coldness and cruelness on her tears stricken face when she would drop Vali as if a sack of flour and stand to her feet.

 _“What have you done?! My boy! My boy! You murderer!”_ She would shriek at him.

 _“I’m so sorry…. I’m so so sorry”_ He would plead and weep in remorse and grief; over and over again. But Frigga would never forgive him. She would raise her dagger and plunged it into his guts.

 _“Murderer!”_ She would scream even as he weeps and his blood pours, over her fair hands.

_“Mother…please…please…”_

_“I am not your mother!”_

That was the one he feared the most; because it hurt him the worst. Not the stabbing, but her hatred that he knew full well he deserve.

Then there were the ones where he simply could not lift Mjolnir. His weapon found him unworthy because he is a fake, a liar and a kinslayer.

Whichever nightmare he was having Thor could not remember when he was forcefully wrenched from it by a terrible shrieked of pure terror that tore him from his fitful sleep. For an instant he was disoriented, confuse before his senses came back to him.

Loki…

He turns to see the silhouette of the prince sitting beside him. Loki was panting and trembling.

“Norns…” Loki runs a shaky hand down his sweaty face.

“Loki…?” Thor pulls himself up to sit.

Loki did not seem to hear him, swiping his emerald gaze to each side and across the dark room.

“Loki” Thor tried again, reaching hesitantly to touch Loki’s sweaty arm.

Loki jolted in shock, turning to Thor at once. “It’s you…” Loki said.

“Aye…” Thor tucks a strand of Loki’s ebony bangs to the back of his ears.

“…”

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah…just a nightmare” Loki flash Thor a smile. “Nothing to worry about your Grace. I am not a child in fear of his nightmares”

Thor frowned as he lids a hand over Loki’s shoulder. " _He is shaking"._

That scream… that fear… even if everything else was a lie, Thor knows that Loki’s terrors are real. The only time he had ever seen Loki so terrified and vulnerable was at the temple.

“Is it her?” Thor asked quietly.

At once Loki tensed. “I…I don’t know what you are talking about”

“Lo-”

“You are speaking rubbish!” Loki throws his legs over the edge of the bed.

Thor said nothing, hurrying off the bed to dress as Loki did.

“You don’t have to follow me. I won’t kill anyone” Loki muttered.

“I know”

“It would not be wise to be seen together at such an hour” Loki threw Thor’s words back at him.

“I know” Thor said again.

Truly, Thor wanted to laugh. There was no need for Loki to attempt to protect Thor’s reputation or pretend to; it had already been damaged beyond repair. As of now, there is nothing else to destroy.

 _“You should be happy…”_   Thor thought bitterly.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Laufey was sitting at his desk when Farbauti stomped in, slamming the door hard enough to break it. It was truly a miracle that it held strong.

“Have you lost your mind?!” Farbauti slammed his hand onto the table, sending half the pile of documents toppling over and clattering onto the floor.

Laufey looked up from his paper calmly. “I simply put Thrym on house arrest” He said.

“In our home?!” Farbauti demanded. “When he conspire to kill our child?! Are you sick with fever?!”

“I rather have him where I can see and guard him”

 _Guard…_ At that, Farbauti let out a cold cruel chuckle. After all that Thrym has conspire to do, Laufey will still protect him.

“You think I will have him assassinated don’t you” Farbauti whispered coldly.

“That’s not what I me-”

“And you would be damn right”

“…”

“I would kill him with my bare hands if I did not know how much he means to you!”

“…”

“You love him still even after all this”

“I love you”

“And him!”

“I have never betrayed you” Laufey whispered.

Farbauti clenched his jaws; his fingers curled, resisting the urge to punch Laufey. He was so angry, so so angry at Laufey that the only thing he was capable of producing was tears.

Laufey looks away, picking at the edge of his icy chair.

“I love you Farbauti….” He said. “But I won’t stand back and let you kill him…And now is not the time to argue over this”

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Within the cage of Odin’s golden walls, the hanging vines were silvery white, thousands of crystal droplet clinging upon them and they twinkled against the gentle ray of the moon. Roses of the deepest red and sapphire bloomed in all their ethereal beauty, and they seem to glow in the darkness of night.

Midnight butterflies with large black wings splashed with patterns of deep royal purple fluttered from one darling buds to the next. And clear cerulean wind chime that hung from willowy trees of ebony barks tinkle as a gentle wind blows and ripples spread over the pond amid the Queen’s garden. Little glowing cerulean mushrooms bloom beneath the root of trees after the rain, framing path of colored stones with little glows.

Loki’s fingers brushes the vines as he passes, sending the thousands of crystal droplet tumbling down. Loki was foolish to think he could weave that curse once more to bind Thor to him.

 _“I want to see”_ He had said to Odin.

He wanted to see the veil that separates him from Hela. His nightmares had always told him how close he treads to the realm of the dead. But since Odin’s false peace, he had not a clue how much closer he had drifted.

 _“You will not survive it if you attempt that curse again”_ Odin told him.

_“You do not know what I will risk. Now unveil this false cloak from my eyes! I do not want your false peace tonight! Leave!”_

Odin had not looked please at his demand, but Loki did not care.

 _“Then will me away”_ Odin had said. _“This is your dream after all”_

Loki tightened his jaws as he stood at the edge of the pond, gazing upon the heavens as a gentle breeze caresses his fair skin. He cannot attempt that curse or any dark curses for that matter. He dared not draw seid from the realm of the dead again.

He treads too close; the corruption is almost complete.

He was lucky that Odin had not fought against his curse, or it would have dragged Loki down to Hel like an anchor. He could still maintain that curse for a time; the corruption is slow if Odin does not fight. As long as he only perform  _n_ _ormal_ seid that draws its strength from the caster, he should be fine for a while longer before he has to kill Odin to stop the corruption.

And when that time comes, he must be able to do so quickly. He is a fool if he thinks Odin will not fight him when he meant to take that pretty head.

Truth, that work the Queen did on Thor to deliver those fragments of his soul to Hela was damn impressive. Whatever the price was, it must have been steep.

That damn witch! He did not expect her to be able to pay the price.

There was a soft rustled of grass as Thor moves closer to Loki. Loki did not turn even when Thor came to stand beside him. Perhaps fate is smiling upon him at last, or perhaps they are mocking him, Loki truly did not know. All he knew was that at this rate and without the ability to bind Thor, he did not know if he could salvage his scheme.

That spell work surely had not returned him into Thor’s favor as quickly as he had hoped.

Time is running out.

“Why are you here?” Loki asked.

“I do not want you to be alone”

“You pity me”

“You may think as you will” Thor lowers himself to sit at the bank.

Loki turns to look at the King. Thor was not looking at him, his fingers pulling the grass beside him mindlessly.

“You are still angry with me” Loki said quietly.

“Should I be?” Thor asked, colder than he meant to sound.

He is angry, he is angry at a lot of things. He is angry at his guest, he is angry at the council, he is angry at Loki, but most of all he is angry at himself! At allowing Loki to play him for a fool, and no matter how hard he tries to protect his people, protect everything that is important to him, he found himself falling short of it.

Loki could have slaughter his guest and he would be helpless to stop it. He had not thought of that until tonight and still he could do nothing to appease their founded fears and worries. He is always a step behind Loki no matter how hard he tries, always caught in his schemes! Always at his mercy whether Loki knows it or not.

Loki plays with his mind, with his emotions, twisting them, manipulating them…until he could trust nothing.

 _“What do you want?! What do you really want from me?!”_   Thor wanted to scream.

They were silent for a moment, before Loki lowers himself too, to sit by Thor.

“Why do you want to be my consort?” Thor asked.

Loki turns to regard the Golden King. Before he could speak, Thor continues.

“You are the crown prince of Jotunhiem and soon to be King. Do you really expect me to believe that you will give up all that power for me out of… _love_?” The word even sounded wrong on Thor’s tongue.

“No” Loki said. He is not fool enough to attempt to have Thor believe that. “I do not even know you before this”

“Then why?”

“I am the crown prince no one wanted. If I sit upon that throne, how long do you think it would be before some poison slip into my cup?” 

Thor said nothing, letting Loki continue his half-truth.

“So no, Thor… I did not come to Asgard out of love. I wanted power, and I wanted to live long enough to see my reign”

“Queens to do not reign on Asgard” Thor said. _“Not unless the King dies”_

“So she does not…” Loki agreed. “But she has power enough”

“I see…” Thor turns at last to regard the trickster.

There was neither trust nor anger in those cerulean eyes; just simple resignation.

 _“I wish I could trust you”_ Thor gave Loki a gentle smile. “Dance with me”

Loki blinked.

“Now” Thor added.

“N-Now?”

“Come” Thor stood to his feet, gently pulling Loki along before he could refuse. And just like that, Thor slips a hand over Loki’s waist and took the prince’s other hand in his with such ease as if Thor had held Loki that way for all of his life.

"..."

“Just like what I taught you alright?” Thor whispered.

Loki gave a small nod.

And so they dance, slowly to Loki’s pace beneath the silver moon of night.

The wind chime tinkled softly in the wind.

Cerulean meets emerald. Thor looked upon Loki, a small smile on his lips as they waltz slowly, so contrasting Loki's stoic expression.

“I do care about you, you know” Thor whispered after a long moment.

Loki thought he caught a hint of sadness in Thor’s tone. But he could not be sure.

“So much…” Thor leans forth, not to kiss Loki’s lips, but to place a kiss over the top of Loki’s brows. He let his lashes drift shut for a moment, his chest tightened.

 _“Why do Gods have Kings if not to protect the lesser Gods? A King does not live for himself. He does not seek glory nor does he seek richness for himself; he exists for his people; he exists to make the sacrifice that no one will…”_ Thor had not forgotten his lessons.

But he is so terrified, that perhaps, he is not worthy of his crown.

The night passes, and at some point Loki lays his head over the crook of Thor’s neck and their dance slow to a stop. Without a word, Thor pulls Loki close against his body.

Loki is quiet, a tinge of grey clung onto his ice cold skin and the shadows under his eyes would not fade no matter how much sleep he had. Loki might have displeased him after the incident with Baldur and he might have tried to teach Loki a lesson or two, but by no means had he ignored the prince. As he lay beside Loki in the dark of night when Loki’s sleep was the deepest, it would seem at times that Loki would not stir again; the rising of his chest was so shallow that it was as if he had stopped breathing all together and when Thor shook him he would not rouse.

Thor is not a fool. He knows that Loki is dying, closer to death than before after the purging.

“Do you want to go back?” Thor whispered against Loki’s skin.

Loki gave a nod, but he did not move away from Thor. He is so tired, and so cold…a coldness that grows from within and would not go away, and Thor is so warm. And strangely, right this moment…for the first time in so long, he found peace and comfort; all of his agony and fears, seeming to just fade away when Thor holds him in his embrace.

“I can carry you...” Thor suggested quietly; he could feel the soft tremors against him.

“Just for a bit more…” Loki murmured sleepily, his heavy lids drifting shut.

“Okay…” Thor kisses Loki’s temple, tightening his hold. _“Is it worth it? I_ _s this everything you had imagined when you so willingly condemn yourself?”_ He wondered.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

A cold silence settled upon the golden halls as the sun poured in through the windows. The anger from the night before had not calmed and would not as long as the monster remained unbound. It was a nice change Loki thought as he walked the silent hall in his Aesir form.

Only the Elves were about; they did not fear sorcery. They thrive on it. Though they still looked upon him with the same coldness and disgust, Loki did not mind it. He was used to those looks.

If he had known that such flaunt of his sorcery would send most of the guests hiding in their rooms, he would have done it sooner. He wasn’t even performing any dark sorcery. It was a rather nice morning in his opinion.

It wasn’t long when he saw a familiar face. Jarnsaxa, striding down the hall in her lacy black and red corset dress that reaches her mid thighs at the front, before the silken fabric slope down the back to the floor.

“Well, hello” Loki grinned. “It is a surprise to see you haven’t scurry into your little hole in fear of the monster”

“Good morning dear” Her hard fingers latched onto the front of Loki’s tunic, jerking him to her. “I’ve seen worse monsters than you sweetie”

“Feisty” Loki smirks.

“Just what Thor likes isn’t it”

“Oh yes”

“Don’t get cocky” Her scarlet eyes flashed dangerously as a devilish smile curled over her lips. “You’ve lost”

“Have I now?”

“What have you to offer that I could not little Jotun?” She laughs, shoving Loki back.

Jarnsaxa is no fool. She knows that Thor notices her because of her likeness to his fiery little pet. Perhaps she should feel insulted to be compare to such a thing, but she will take what she can.

Muspelheim, a realm rich in diamonds, ruby and sapphire needed Asgard’s military might if she is to survive in the long run. It would only be time before the other realms seek an excuse to declare war upon them, conquering them. The Vanirs most likely…

“Good day to you” She sought to leave when Loki grabs her arm.

Emerald meets scarlet.

“You should watch yourself when you speak to a monster my Lady” He said. “Who knows what a monster would do”

She hissed, jerking Loki’s offending fingers off.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

The rushing stream shimmer beneath the sun as Thor and Vigdis walked along its grassy banks. Vigdis could not keep the smile off her face when the servant came rapping on her door, informing her of Thor’s wishes to see her if she would so indulge him.

She has no illusion of why Thor would seek her out. Surely, it is not because Thor fancies her… it was for that understanding hand she had seemingly so willingly thrust out to the frustrated King.

She has no doubt that to Thor, when it seems that all the realms are against him, against his obvious care for the Jotun, she was his only friend. She had not judged him, she had not condemn him, but rather, she had seem to understand, even encourage Thor to speak about Loki at their last encounter. Something she was sure no one had ever encourage the King to.

Thor's entire affair with the Jotun was hushed-up. A shameful and disgraceful topic for the Aesir. A topic never to be mention and better still if forgotten, assumed to have never happened; and yet here she is...so open and willing to listen without condemnation or disgust.

Vigdis turns to regard Thor by her side. He had been silent for awhile now, looking so conflicted and tired.

“What is it my Lord? Speak to me” Vigdis encouraged.

Thor turns to her, covering her little hand that held his arm in his.

“I…I shouldn’t have bothered you” Thor confessed.

“Nonsense. Speak to me…I offered to listen. And you need someone to listen to you…listen not to reply. But listen to understand”

Thor have her a gentle smile. But still it did not feel right. But there was no one he could speak to.

This was not the sort of thing that the warrior three would understand and he is not so insensitive as to bring it up with Sif.

Perhaps he could speak to Frigga...but he did not want to go to her. Whenever he spoke to her, he felt like a child again, looking upon her desperately for approval; seeking for her smile to tell him that she is proud to be his mother. And even now as a grown man and King, he wanted to please her. Perhaps it was because of what he had done; he did not know; but he wanted to be perfect in her eyes.

“Thor…” Vigdis called when Thor remained silent.

“I don’t know where to start” He said truthfully.

“Then I will” Vigdis said.

"..."

“What draws you to him?”

“You ask me questions one normally would not”

“Perhaps those are the questions that need to be asked”

“…”

“Tell me…?”

"Truth is...I know not when or how it started...and the things that draw me to him, they are not those one would gladly boast to the world or those one could explain" He said

"I take it you are not going to recite a poem that speaks of his fairness?" She teased. 

"Norns no" Thor laughs. "I am no poet. And it is unbecoming to speak of another's beauty when in the company of yet another maiden so fair like yourself my Lady"

"You are kind. But enough of me...speak to me your Grace. Is this not why we are here?"

Thor was silent again as they walked, then a small smile tugged at his lips.

“The thrill…" He admits "The danger, the fire, the utter madness and unpredictability…” 

It was the truth he had never dared give words to in fear of what his people would think. He let out a soft laugh.

“I don’t think he would make a good queen or even a good companion to be honest” Thor continues. “He is infuriatingly annoying, unreliable, cruel and dangerous… he is the hurricane that cannot be stopped, he is the storm that cannot be tamed; he is chaos that cannot be contained… he is madness; he is impossibility…and he keeps my heart beating…”

Vigdis let Thor speaks because she didn’t doubt Thor had never dared speak so plainly before. She will be his friend, his closest confidence. She will not compete with Loki for Thor’s affection. That is foolishness and a waste of time.

Unlike stupid little girls who yearn for the affection knights in shining armor, she needed none of that. She just wanted to be the Queen. Thor did not need to be strong for her. Thor did not need to be perfect. Thor did not even need to love her. Thor can have Loki in his bed if he so wished, as long as Thor is not cruel to her.

 


	17. Last Days

The wind whistled, caressing over Thrym’s icy skin as he entered the King’s private courtyard. His ebony bangs brushes his narrow nose.

At the break of dawn, it was truly a magnificent sight. A soft layer of fresh snow covered the icy ground, a thin veil of mist curled and swirl, twisting and contracting like smoke about his feet as he makes his way across to the south side to the yard. Trees with pillars of ebony and silver and wide spreading branches towered over him, covering him in a roof of gold and red. And all about him, little silver lamps hung from their enormous branches in the dozens, casting a muted light over the place.

He lowered himself to sit beneath one of the old ancient trees with thick curling roots. Then he leans back against the rough trunk and shuts his eyes.

Truth…he had been avoiding Farbauti, and pretty much everyone. As much as possible he refused to stay in the room he was assigned to. He refused to give Farbauti the chance to have a _private_ word with him that would more likely than not end with a blade through his chest.

He is a coward he knows… he has always known that. He is a god damn coward who hadn’t the balls to kill Loki after everything. Instead, all he had done over the centuries was seethe and fume, rage and curse that runt. And even now, all he had done was encourage and provide Byleistr the opportunity to do what he dared not. And if that failed, he was waiting for the war to do his bidding.

 _Coward…Coward.._.

And now… he was running away from another confrontation. But he wondered though, how long he could run this time before Farbuti loses his patience and summoned him personally. Would he refuse a direct order then?

 _Coward…_ _._

He lets out a sigh. He did not know how long he sat there, but he was drifting off when something pricked his senses. The soft clicking of hard nails and the soft rumbling growl of an animal. He opened his eyes.

“Shit!” He scrambled to his feet in horror at the sight of a massive dire wolf prowling into the yard.

It stood almost head to head with him. Red eyes and snarling, baring its massive teeth as it prowled.

 _Fenrir_ …child of Loki’s blood.

Thrym hissed, a hand outstretched as if it would do any good in defense against those monstrous jaws.

 _“_ _Why are you so afraid Lord Thrym?”_ Fenrir’s rumbling voice pierce Thrym’s mind.

The mocking tone was so like its dam.

 _“_ _If you come over here and be my bitch…you might just survive”_ Its claws scraped the ground.

Thrym did not move, keeping his eyes firmly on the beast.

He did not bother reasoning with Fenrir. Oh…he has no illusion of his imminent death. After all, he cannot kill Fenrir. Laufey would never forgive him for killing his grandchild, no matter if it was born out of dark magic or not. And he has no doubt that Fenrir was send here to kill him. That was the only order Fenrir took well. Killing and torture are its favorite sport. And so if he was to die, then he will die fighting, rather than begging on his back like the bitch Fenrir wants him to be.

If he gave Fenrir a good fight it would be quick. If not, Fenrir will play with him, ripping him to shred with slow agonizing brutality until he begs for it to stop. He did not wish for the latter. 

A low growl rumble, Fenrir crouch just the slightest. Its scarlet eyes gleaming.

 _“No…? A pity…Such a pretty thing like you would surely have made a good fuck”_ Fenrir mocked.

For a heartbeat it seem that the entire yard was holding her breath and then a hair rising snarl split; Fenrir lunged forth, teeth snapping. Thrym let out a cry, with a wave of his hand sharp icy spikes shot up from the ground, piercing through Fenrir’s bony legs and nicking its soft underbelly. Yelp split, blood trickled but it was only for a second before the beast shattered them all into rubbles and it was lunging again.

Thrym barely manage to dive to the side as those massive paws landed inches from him, cracking the ice.

Ice club bloomed at once from Thrym’s hand instead of his usual blade. His muscles tightened and he swung as hard as he could; smashing Fenrir’s muzzle, knocking it to the side. There was a sharp yelp but before Thrym could even make the second strike, Fenrir had turned its powerful head back.

 _“Too late!”_ Red eyes gleaming; it powerful muzzle open and it snapped, shattering the hard club and with a powerful swipe of its claws, it tore right through Thrym’s abdomen like hot knife to butter and threw him clear across the yard, smashing through the trees.

Silvery lamps from ruined trees fell and the glass smashed; a small fire was starting to burn all around him.

Thrym coughed, blood dribbling from his lips. He tried to push himself up, but he couldn’t. Slick wetness whispered. His hand touched his wet abdomen and he knew then that he was completely ripped apart. But there was no pain; at least he didn’t think so…he was numb, he was shaking, as he watched long teeth headed straight for his throat.

Thyrm snarled; slamming a bloody palm on the icy ground one last time, hundreds of titan spike shot up, streaking across the yard, piercing Fenrir’s paws, its legs, its chest, slicing its soft belly, as it leaped back. There were sharp yelps but the beast was charging again, smashing through spikes or letting them pierce him without a care as it launched itself for the kill. A very Jotun anger and rage shimmer beneath those animalistic blood red eyes.

“Fenrir! Stop!” There was a loud thunderous shout.

Thrym barely heard it as he raised his bloody arm in futile defense. Long teeth snapped down at flesh and bone. Blood poured. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thor was not at all surprise to find Loki in his studies, his legs prop up against the rich mahogany desk while he ate away at his apple and reading one of the many scrolls that Loki definitely had no business in reading.

“I see you have started without me” Thor sighs, shutting the door behind him.

Loki hummed, dropping the scroll he was reading down onto the growing pile of documents beside Thor’s chair. An ornate glass bowl was balanced over Loki’s hard abdomen.

“Good afternoon your Grace” Loki said innocently, dropping the apple core into the bowl to join the other cores.

Thor had long given up on telling Loki that he could just order the kitchen to bring him fresh fruits rather than eating the decorations. He had simply opted to have the servants refill and replace those decors every day. No need to get into an argument over fruits and décor.

His guest had paid no mind to this etiquette.

“ _What more could you expect from an animal?”_ They had simply shrugged it off.

Vigdis though, she had been kind enough to humor Loki, sometimes asking if she could have one too, much to Loki’s surprise and everyone’s disgust.

“You could at least pretend to sneak around” Thor steps towards the prince as Loki ripped open yet another sealed document.

“And you could pretend to at least be furious” Loki smirks, dramatically rolling the scroll open.

“Maybe next time”

“Maybe…”

Thor stood behind Loki, looking at the dull piece of paper. Of course it was yet another one of that agriculture nonsense. Import, exports or some sort… Thor truly hated them, but that was all there is in his studies.

He had noticed Loki breaking into his office after the first attempt months ago. If there was anything Thor knew, it was the state of his Norn forsaken studies that he loathed so much.

It was still the usual mess after Loki’s break in, and none of the seals to his documents were broken, but he knew they were different. After that, he had ordered all military related documents taken and transferred to the Queen’s quarters – the one place Loki had not dared wandered with ease. And in return for Thor’s favor Loki had showed up the two days later and simply picked one of the sealed documents off Thor’s table and started reading them in front of the King without a care.

He had been furious at first, but he had ignored the Jotun. After all, Loki’s entire existence seems to be to get a rise from him. Two could play the game. If anything, Thor had learnt patience from Loki. He had pointedly let Loki do as he please and Loki had stubbornly been reading his agriculture and mining documents as if they were the most fascination thing in all the realm.

At some point, Thor was sure Loki was just as tempted to burn them all as much as he. And soon…it became a routine.

The silent company isn’t at all bad. He found that he liked it. He liked having someone stayed up with him when he was pouring over his work as the castle sleeps and as he cursed the Norns for this torture.

The days leading to the hunt were the worst. He grumbled about it to Loki in sheer frustration, and swearing that the paper seem to have multiplied, making the Jotun laugh. And then over time, came the frightening thought that Thor dared not give voice to – that perhaps, it wouldn’t be so bad to always be this way; to have Loki by his side, as his queen.

“So what do you think?” Thor murmured.

“Asking the enemy? If only your people knew how inept you are. Why I wonder what they would do” Loki said pleasantly.

“What they do not know would not hurt them”

“A ridiculous saying” Loki was still not looking at Thor. “What someone does not know will be the very thing that kills them”

“Loki…”

There was something in the tone of Thor’s voice that caught Loki’s attention as the Aesir gently took the document away from him, tossing it over the mountains of scrolls on the table. He lifted his gaze as Thor place the empty bowl on the table and draws him up. Rough fingers reach to touch his face, thumb caresses his cheek.

Thor was acting rather strangely.

“What’s the matter…?” Loki whispered warily.

Did someone curse him?

“Do you believe that everything is set in stone?” Thor asked. “Like the coursing river, you can throw a stick, a stone, place your hands upon the current in an attempt to stop its flow, to disrupt it, to direct it even, but in the end…it will always come to the same inevitable end…do you believe that is fate?”

He had not forgotten what the seers had boldly told him even when he demanded they do not…

_Fire…fire…_

They are fated to destroy each other.

“What do you believe?” Loki asked, watching Thor intently.

“I don’t want to believe that” He admits.

Then without thinking, he leans forth, pulling Loki into a gentle kiss. Loki gasped, opening his mouth for that familiar tongue, as Thor’s familiar scent filled him. There was something urgent, painful, something delicate and desperate in the way Thor held him, in the way Thor caresses his face, in the way Thor was kissing him.

“ _What’s wrong? What is the matter?”_ Loki wanted to asked, as he slips his fingers beneath the wealth of Thor’s golden locks, grasping and twisting.

“Loki…” Thor whispered that name like a talisman, sending shivers inching down Loki spine.

Oh…the stark desperate want in that tone.

Loki groaned.

Thor deepened the kiss. Kissing Loki with all the unspoken words he will never get to say. All the unspoken words Loki will never know.

After that talk with Vigdis, after finally admitting to himself that he was drawn to a Jotun of all creatures out his own free will, it was as if some wall inside of him had crumbled. It was as if some barrier had vanished and finally he was able to see things clearly.

No more hiding, no more denying.

He has come to peace with himself. He is drawn to the Jotun prince; he loves him for everything that he is and everything that he is not. But in the end, he knows that he will always do what needs to be done. He will always give to Asgard what she needs…not because of the shackles of duty that binds him, but because he loves Asgard, he loves his family and his people. And as he had told Loki months ago, dreams are dreams, they vanish upon waking.

He will announce his consort the day after tomorrow, and that is when the dream ends and reality begins. But for now…for these last few hours, he will let himself have Loki.

 _“_ _Bring your chaos…bring your death…I will wait for you…”_

Loki suits neither the Golden crown of the King or silver of the Queen.

Loki is chaos. Loki is destruction and death…Untamed. Unbowed. And that is when he is truly beautiful.

_“I will not cage you…I will not bind you…I will not tame you…”_

Thor knows that when the time comes, he will be able to stand tall and proud, unashamedly as he smiles at chaos…his old friend. And he knows that chaos too would smile back at him as they raise their weapons one last time.

Thor pushes Loki back, fumbling hands reached for Loki pants.

“Wait…God!” Loki gasped, as Thor cupped him through his leather pants with a knee buckling touch.

The table hit the back of his legs, a hand swipe back, sending half the scrolls tumbling onto the ground as he broke the kiss.

“You are insatiable” Loki laughs, a glint of mischief in his eyes. His chest heaving, his pastel features flushed.

“And you are not?” Thor teased.

“Not unless you wish to give your messenger a show” He jerked his head towards the door just as there came a soft knocking.

“How…” Thor flushed, backing away from Loki, composing himself.

“You don’t really expect me to read here without actually putting up some wards do you?” Loki chuckled. “After all, not everyone would be as accommodating as their golden King”

Thor said nothing to that, calling the messenger in as Loki shifted back to sit in Thor’s chair.

“My Lord” The boy entered with arms full of reports that pile up to his nose.

Thor wanted to groan.

“Where would you like these to go my King?” The boy was looked at the state of Thor’s sorry mess of a desk.

“Into the furnace would be preferable” Loki laughs.

“Just…give me a moment” Thor shifted to clear some space on his desk, shoving a bunch of scrolls into a corner while pilling the unfinished paperwork into another.

“Not the furnace your Grace?” the trickster teased.

“Keep talking and I might just have use for that furnace after all” Thor dumps the stack he had finished on the floor beside his desk.

“How uncouth” Loki turns to regard the messenger. “Don’t you agree boy?”

“Um…” The boy shifted uncomfortably.

“I asked you a question boy”

“…”

“Are you deaf?”

“My King…” The boy looked desperately at Thor.

“Answer me!” Loki snapped.

The boy flinched.

“Loki…” Thor sighs.

Loki laughs.

“There” Thor motioned to his slightly clear desk.

“Yes sir” The boy hurriedly placed the document down. Glad that he did not need to speak with the Jotun in Aesir skin any longer.

“Anything else?” Thor asked.

“Ah…my King, there is a message from town” The boy said. “The armor you ordered is ready. Should I send someone to pick it up?”

At that Thor smiled.

“No…it’s fine. I’ll pick it up myself. You are dismissed”

The boy bowed and left.

“Another armor?” Loki asked loudly once the door clicks shut. “I never took you for the type to have new armors made for every celebration. I thought that was Fandral” 

“It’s not mine” Thor turns to the Prince. “It’s yours”

Loki blinked. It took a whole three seconds before it clicks.

“Oh” Was all Loki could say.

 _That_ armor. The one Thor had tailored for him the first time they had gone to acquire supplies for the hunt.

The armor he had picked had been one of the most intricate by design and he had added to the complexity by demanding very specific carvings that he had drawn out himself.

He hadn’t wanted the armor. Jotuns do not wear bulky armors. He had made sure it was so complicated that it would not be finished in time for the hunt. It seems though that it was not convoluted enough to have it not finished before the finale of his entire charade.

Damn…

 

 

* * *

 

 

Elise checks her reflection in an oval mirror that hung on the wall while she waited for the Queen. She had received an invitation from her that morning, bidding her to come for tea. She had been ecstatic. It was all so exciting and she felt so special until she arrived at the waiting room to see Vigdis and Jarnsaxa. Evidently they were as thrilled to see her as she was of them.

“You have your hair done as if you were the Queen of Asgard” Jarnsaxa commented.

Elise turns to regard the demon sitting by the large round glass table.  Vigdis who sat beside her wasn’t even paying attention to them, as if this was all beneath her. Elise didn’t like her arrogance, but she would rather be talking to the Elf than the demon at any given time.

Jarnsaxa unnerves her... Those monstrous blood red eyes…just like those ice savages.

“I think Queen Frigga has good taste” Elise said.

“Is that right” Jarnsaxa continue tossing and catching her silver dagger. “One might get the wrong impression”

“Oh? And what would that be?”

“That you already think that you are Queen”

“I don’t think. I know”

Jarnsaxa snorted; with liquid motion she caught the silvery dagger, her eyes flicked upon Elise.

“If I throw this dagger, you’d be dead in seconds”

Elise tensed, but she did not let fear show on her face. _“Calm down…she won’t hurt you. Not here”_   She tells herself. 

At last, Vigdis looked up from her book.

“Is that a threat?” Elise asked as calmly as she could.

“It is a fact” Jarnsaxa smirks. “Woe it is to Asgard if you are Queen”

“How dare you!”

“I speak the truth” She slips the dagger back in the hidden compartment of her boot. “You are useless. All you do is sing and dance and smile and please. Just like a who-”

“Lady!” Elise spat before Jarnsaxa could finish her sentence.

 _Whore_ … the demon was about to call her a whore! The nerve of the demon to even speak such a vile word in her presence!

“This is Asgard” Elise reminded the fiend. “And on Asgard and Vaneheim, your wild ways are unsightly. Disgusting! Do you know that?”

Jarnsaxa sneered. “Do you honestly think that Queen Frigga is just a pretty face?” 

Elise was saved from answering when the ornate door parted.

“Sorry to keep you waiting my dears” Frigga glided in, her arms spread in welcome.

A gentle smile on her face.

“Don’t worry about it” Frigga said, when Jarnsaxa and Vigdis meant to get up.

“Good afternoon your Grace” Elise bowed.

”Good afternoon dear. Come now. Sit please” Frigga smiled; reaching to take Elise’s gentle hands.

Frigga guided her to sit by Vigdis side while Frigga sat by Jarnsaxa.

“I hope you are hungry dear” Frigga motioned for her servants to bring in their tea.

Elise couldn’t help but look at the Queen in awe every time the woman was near. She was so beautiful, and elegant and so kind, and gentle.

“I hope we could talk a little about the coming feast…if you have any preference” Frigga said as the plates were being served.

The feast held in two days may be for Thor. But his consort was as much part of it as the King. It would be courteous to ask the potential consorts if they have any preference that they would like to be added to the feast. Perhaps music they would prefer? Food that they would like? The arrangements of guest seating? Themes? Decorations they would like to add?

The minor details…     

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki stood awkwardly as he lets the shop owner’s son and Thor help him into his armor. It was by far the most constricting, ridiculous, hot and uncomfortable thing he had ever worn in his life. Not to mention heavy and stuffy.

Why the Aesirs were so confident that this piece of garbage would protect them in battle was beyond him. All it does is weigh them down and make it hard to move.

“Is this alright? Not too tight?” the boy asked; giving the golden pauldron a hard tug to make sure it was secure.

Loki resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Too tight? Does constricting and annoying count? Loki didn’t think so.

Thor was helping him with his vambrace, not that Loki needed any help with it.

“Is this really necessary?” Loki asked, gesturing to his armor.

“It’s common wear in Asgard’s court” Thor smiled.

He wasn’t going to tell Loki that the tunics Loki stole from Norns know where over the months and his leather pants were rather dull and unbefitting a man of his station. At least in Asgard that is. Or the fur he fasten across his hips…well, let’s just say, it was not a common sight around here or on any other realm except Jotunheim clearly, and not viewed favorably. He was sure Loki must have heard the whispers behind him. Savages…they call him.

“All done” Thor beamed when he clasp the last of the buckle.

The scrawny Aesir boy backed away, so that Loki could see the full length mirror behind him.

Loki was lost for words. His first thoughts were that Helblindi and Byleistr would have fallen over laughing if they could see him now. He has got to be the most _covered_ Jotun, in the history of Jotunheim.

The entire thing was made of leather, steel and gold.

He took a step closer, his fingers unconsciously trace over the intricate design on his golden vambrace with studs of little ruby. Jormungandr…the symbol of Laufey’s house.

Then his gaze shift towards his right pauldron which bore Fenrir.

Every piece of gold that adorn his armor bore finely crafted design that symbolizes Jotunheim, in one way or another. Little runes, patterns and lines were edge into golden perfection as if it were slowly telling a story; a history. It was all very detailed, and he found himself smiling. Perhaps the armor was not so hideous after all…

”What do you think?” Thor came up behind him.

“I suppose it could have been worse”

“Indeed” Thor said. “I have something else made for you” He motioned for the boy to fetch it.

“I am not easy to satisfy” Loki reminded Thor.

“Oh I know”

It wasn’t a minute when the boy came running back with another golden piece in his hand.

Loki’s eyes widened. Thor wanted to laugh at the look of horror, disgust, amusement and disbelief that mix so immaculately on the prince’s face when the boy handed Thor the helmet he had ordered. It was golden with sculpted horns, exaggerating Loki’s natural ones.

“For when you do not have horns” Thor puts it over Loki’s head. “It does resemble your natural ones yes?”

“Mine are smaller. Nature could not have birth such a monstrosity”

Thor spotted a small twitched at the side of Loki’s lips. He took a step closer, his hands caresses up Loki’s arms. “I think it fitting. I don’t see harm in some size exaggeration. You seem very proud of your horns after all”

Loki smirks mischievously. “What exactly do you think the size of our horns is proportional to?”

“Oh I don’t know” Thor looked at him innocently through the mirror. “Maturity maybe”

“Was there any doubt to that” Loki laughs, taking off the helmet.

 _Dirty Aesir_.

Loki knew what Thor was thinking and while it was not true, he isn’t going to tell the King that. Good to know Thor thought him well endowed.

Loki shoved the helmet back at the boy. The size of that thing is still ridiculous. He is not wearing it across town. The only reason he will wear the armor for now is because it would be as much trouble taking it off as putting it on.

“Don’t you like it?” Thor teased.

“Could have been worse” Loki said. “But I’m not wearing it all the way back. It is too hot”

“Fair enough” Thor said. “I’ll have it send back. We are not going back yet”

“Oh?” Loki frowned. “And where exactly do you plan on going?”

Thor isn’t going to run again is he?

“The parade. The celebration is in tribute to me after all. I intend to at least enjoy it. I tire of being the chaperone for my guest”

“Am I not your guest?”

“You are different” Thor said. With Loki he did not need to pretend to laugh at jokes or pretend that he was enjoying watching his guest have fun while he stood behind to cheer. He did not need to check himself at every moment. Watch his every word and action. Loki knows him.

“And you would not mind being seen with me?” Loki asked.

Thor tensed, his jaws clenched at the reminder. His reputation again… He is so tired of it. Of all the pretense. Of everything... Haven’t he decided that he would not hide anymore? Was his conviction so feeble that the mere hint of his reputation would send him scurrying back to denial?

A feeling of defiant surged through him. He knows his duty. And he will perform his duty as King of Asgard when the time comes. But for now…

“I care not” He said. “I will choose my consort when the time comes as is my duty. And as long as I perform my duty, not even the council or the Queen have the right to interfere with my private life”

“And what would your people say?”

“People love to speak ill of their Kings and they will even when there is nothing to speak of. You should know” Thor said. “So let them speak I say”

“As you wish then, your Grace” A smile tugs at the side of Loki’s lips.

 

 

* * *

 

 

There was a mess of confusion, chaos and blind panic. Questioning Fenrir had been as successful as bleeding information out of a rock. The beast had found it all very amusing and good fun. Laufey may be King, but Fenrir couldn’t care less for authority or status.

Harsh whispers and rumors filled every hall and every chamber. There were whispers of attempted assassination, of betrayal, or simply what would you expect from Loki’s brood. Guards were moving up and down the halls, stationed outside the threshold of Thrym’s door, the royal quarters and those belonging to Malekith and his men.

“Aside from the healers that tended to Thrym, and Thrym’s family, no one is to enter Thrym’s room without my permission!” Laufey had ordered once he has had Thrym’s family rushed in. “Not even the Queen!”

That command had sparked speculations, suspicions and rumors. And no doubt he knew Farbauti would hear it. But Laufey did not care.

He flips the document before him harder then need be when Farbauti came up before him.

“I did save him you know” Farbauti took his seat across the king.

“And do you want a medal for that?”

“…”

“Should I throw a feast in honor of your deed?!” Laufey spat.

“It wasn’t me”

“Of course not” His tone was venom.

“How could you think that I’d betr-”

“I don’t know what to think!” Laufey bellowed, snapping his blood red gaze at his mate in rage.

Farbauti was unfazed. Laufey was understandably in shock even if the King would not and cannot admit it. He wasn't thinking properly anymore, simply lashing out to keep others away from him. Simply forcing all the shameful emotions that brew into the mold of anger and betrayal, no matter if they fit or not. This is Jotunheim. Sentimental weaknesses are not look favorably upon.

But that does not mean that Jotuns were born as cold and ruthless as the ice that tears through their realm. Nature could not have bore such monstrosity. It was their culture, their need to survive and bring order in a realm so cold, bitter, cruel and harsh that birth the system that they live in. And so without a choice, raised in a culture of ice, steel and blood; a system of power, strength and brutality, they hardened their hearts...but sometimes, pity, kindness, compassion, sympathy, love... as the Norns fashioned any living creature to be, seeps out from the cracks.

It was always hard for Farbauti when it comes to dealing with brittle, anguished emotions that sometimes inevitably burst forth. He doesn't know how to deal with it. He does not know how to react to it or say what is needed. And he doubts neither does Laufey. A Jotun's first reaction to them would be scorn and mockery...forcing the other to scramble back into their cold mask of brutality and indifference. Farbauti doesn't want that at the moment. 

Sentiments...It was so foreign to their culture. It was something to be ashamed of, something to hide, and so no one would talk about it. But yet...it was also something natural. 

“Do you truly believe it was me? Do you truly believe I would betray you?” Farbauti asked calmly. “I did not have to stop Fenrir. I could have let him die” And that was the harsh brutal truth and Farbauti knows that Laufey knows it.

“Leave me…” Laufey hissed.

Farbauti lets out a sigh. His fingers shifted over to touch the back of Laufey’s hand. He was really trying to perhaps comfort or something. He doesn't know what he was doing.

Laufey tensed, but he did not move away as those large rough hand curled over his.

“My King…” Farbauti whispered.

Laufey clenched his jaws, tightening his grip.

“Laufey…”

“He was attacked in our private courtyard”

“Fenrir have no care for boundaries. He needs not authority from those who have access. You know this”

“And I also know that you have all the reason for it. And the means”

“That doesn’t mean I did it. I did not order this attack!”

Laufey snorted, shaking his head in disbelief as he slips his fingers from that hard grip. He doesn’t know what to believe as he leans back in his seat, looking upon his mate.

“What a show all of this must be to Malekith” Laufey let out a humorless laugh. “Fighting, slaughtering, betraying and blaming among ourselves...and the war hasn’t even started”

“…”

“You may have stopped Fenrir, but with that wound, Thrym is as good as dead” Laufey said. “I hope you are happy at last”   

 

 

* * *

 

 

The celebration and parade was still as loud and animated as it was since the first day if not more. Little shops framed either side of the pathway. Children were running and shrieking, the scent of roasted games and stewed boar was thick when they walked pass a cramp bar. The jugglers juggle, the magician cast their tricks for the children, and fire crackers bang over them. Loud music played and in the large square that could have houses a thousand Asgardian warriors any other time of the year, was now cramped, leaving one narrow space for gracefully dancing figures.

Thor had seen most of the games, competition, performance, jewels and food at the parade, but he had not tried them. He had hung back with Loki while the girls enjoyed themselves.

It wasn’t that he felt that these entertainments were beneath him, but rather he did not want to give any one lady be it noble daughters or the princesses any wrong ideas. Especially when his every move was scrutinized, his every word picked over and over again for hints of interest. But as of now…he wanted to enjoy himself. Let them speak, let them whisper and stare. He will do his duty come the day after tomorrow, and he will give Asgard the Queen they deserve.

“Do you wish to try?” Thor shouted over the clamoring crowd all around them, motioning towards the booth beside them.

It was knife throwing.

The owner was looking at them enthusiastically. No doubt the man knew Loki was Jotun but who cares, when he would be paid in silver.

“Come on your Grace! Give it a try!” The man beamed. “Don’t be afraid”

Loki snorted as he looked at the little trinkets that hung all over the booth for prizes. “Child’s play. I would rather not rob you of your pathetic trinkets”

“You can compete against me if you want instead for the prizes” Thor said.

That caught Loki’s attention. But he wasn’t about to give in so easily.

“And why would I be interested in that?” Loki asked instead.

“I am the King…men seem to like the possibility of shaming Kings”

“Hmm”

“Come on. Loosen up” Thor coaxed.

“Fine” Loki move forth to sweep up five metallic knives.

The owner cheered. Setting up five targets, with the little red bulls-eye being worth a hundred points, reducing as the band grows bigger.

Thor flipped the man two gold instead of silver as Loki took his stance. It was child’s play indeed for Loki. He held all five throwing knives between his fingers and hand.

“Care to wager, your Grace?” Loki asked. “I won’t ask for anything too eccentric”

“Alright…” Thor smile.

Loki smirk, with a flick of his gaze just once at the five targets and a swish of his arm, all five knives slammed right into the dot with dead accuracy. The owner gaped in disbelief. Thor laughs.

“You little fiend” Thor took his knives.

Truth, he was not good at this. He was never one for such subtle weapons. War hammers like Mjolnir were more his style. Thor waited for the man to re-set the targets. The knives felt ridiculously small in his hand.

Thor took the first knife and aimed the best he could, hitting the sixty band.

“Have you ever thrown one of these before?” Loki asked when Thor took his second knife.

“A few times…but that was a long time ago” The King admits.

“Then why did you agree to a wager you will surely lose?”

“It’s for fun Loki” Thor smiled, as he took his aim and threw, this time hitting the forty.

Ah well, seem he really did not have the knack for this.

“Norns! You are holding it wrong!” Loki cried when Thor took his third knife.

Before Thor could tell Loki to calm down and it was all just good fun, Loki had taken the knife out of Thor’s hand.

“You are pathetic” Loki grumbled placing the knife back in Thor’s hand after some readjustment and closing Thor’s seemingly clumsy fingers over the deadly weapon.  

The booth owner and Thor were looking at Loki in amusement. This was supposed to be fun. Not serious training.

Loki shifted over to the other side and moved Thor’s throwing arm, showing him the right way to wield the weapon.

“Now focus. And aim. Throw it hard so that it stays true to the course” Loki instructed.

Thor did as he was told. He hit the sixty again twice, and for his last throw he missed the target entirely.

“Do you wish to have another go your Grace?” The man winked. 

“No! No! It’s fine” Thor chuckled, dragging Loki away before Loki could reply for him.

Loki is taking this knife throwing all too seriously.

“Let’s do something else” Thor said.

“You could use a few more practice with the knives”

“I could. But knives are not my type of weapon”

“Yes. I notice” Loki said sweetly. “You always have the knack for the dramatic. Such little weapons are too subtle for you. Isn’t that right, your Grace?”

Thor chuckled. “Perhaps. But that’s no excuse. You won the wager. What do you want?”

Loki snorted. “I want nothing. I would be laugh at for demanding a prize from a novice”

“I’ll get you something”

“If you wish”

Thor smiled. They move around the parade, trying one childish game after another. Thor couldn’t help but watch Loki in amusement at the man’s adamant to win in everything and anything no matter how trivial. Losing just wasn’t in Loki’s dictionary apparently.

Come lunch, Thor found them a quiet place or as quiet as it can be, under an old bended tree by the side of the river. There were still many stares and quite a lot of whispers. It was nothing new. Thor had been ignoring them all day.

They sat beneath the tree, unwrapping their oily lunch. Thor got them was some roasted skewered meat from one of the many stores. Something he had never done with his other guest. He knew the noble daughters and the princesses would be horrified at the utter lack of refinement.

“I should have known that you would be ashamed to take me to an eatery” Loki said, eyeing his skewer warily.

Thor stopped. Maybe this is not such a good idea. Loki was a prince after all. 

“Forgive me if it is not to your standard. Everyone has them at the parade. But I can take you to a fine diner down the road if you prefer”

“No…it’s fine” Loki said, turning towards the King. “You are just…strange”

“Oh?” Thor took his skewer and started eating.

“You who sit on the high table in the golden halls of Odin drinking the finest mead on Asgard and served the king’s portion of any dish you desire, and yet, you would willingly have _this_ for lunch” Loki eyed the skewered he was now rather convince it was some lizard. Yes, Thor had bought them lizards, he was very sure.

Thor smiled. “I may be king…but I grew up playing on these streets, climbing these trees, swimming in this river and welcomed to dine at their tables”

Loki blinked; he was rather surprised at Thor’s childhood.

On Jotunheim, royalties do not mingle and tumble and laugh with commoners. It was just not done! Royalties are to be worshiped and feared. They are not friends of commoners. They are their leaders and they their subjects.

“The tavern owners, the stores, the weapon seller, the metal crafter, the stone masons…I knew their fathers and mothers when I was a child. And the shop owners themselves were once my playmates. And the warriors…I knew them and I played with them too” Thor said. “We all grew up together”

“Does the Allfather know?” Loki asked.

Surely Odin Allfather would not allow his golden boy to tumble in the mud with pheasants, servants and commoners.

Thor laughs.

“Oh yes”

“…”

“Quite well actually” Thor said. “And when I break things or when I forget myself and had been too rough…I’d be drag back to the palace by some mothers. They’d demand the Allfather to put some sense into me…you know… the usual”

Loki said nothing as Thor looked over at the rushing river.

No…Loki doesn’t know _the usual_. No dam had ever dragged him before Laufey for any of his behaviour. Manhandling a prince could well mean a death sentence. He looked back down at his _lizard_.

Thor finished his first skewer and picked up his second. He had not lied about his childhood, but it was really no where as blithe as he had made it sound. He just wished it was. He was still the golden prince. His every move watched. He may have played with all of them, but he had always known what was expected of him and he had always acted accordingly. It was the times that he broke restrained that he was dragged back by horrified mothers that their golden prince would behave in such a manner. And he learned from them. Restrain…Control… His people may not truly know him, but he knew them. And that is enough.

He looked over at Loki was still staring at his untouched meat.

“Try it” Thor encouraged.

“What is it?”

“Do you really want to know?”

Loki looked at Thor suspiciously. “What did you really get us?”

Thor smirked. “Beef”

“Beef do not shape like this”

“Squid”

“Neither does squid!”

“They do on Asgard” Thor said innocently.

“Liar!”


	18. More than a King

After lunch, Thor took Loki to another part of the parade where it was dedicate more solely to the warriors. Sparring rings were set up for knife throwing and archery competition and there were quite a few mock battles going on. Several rings too were set aside for the melee. It was a combat sport where a group of a hundred or so warriors would charge at each other until only one stood. Then there were the rings set up for younger warriors. One seasoned warrior would stand in each ring, encouraging the younger ones to try take him on. It was all good fun and entertainment.  

Next were the weapon stalls that were lined in rows. Whatever you need, you would probably be able to get it from one of them. If not, well, you could always ordered them and have them custom made in a week or so.

Of all the things Loki wanted to try, it just needs to be the most dangerous of all… the melee. Thor did not like it.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Thor asked for the fifth time since they stood in the ring with some ninety over warriors around them.

“Worry I would dump you on your ass your Grace?” Loki asked cheekily as he weigh the blunt sword in his hand.

They waited for the referee to check every single one of their weapons. No one was taking any chances. The melee was for entertainment, not an opportunity to settle scores if there was one.

Thor had left Mjolnir in the back room.

They all took up dull swords that could barely slice let alone pierce through armors. Breaking bones was at bad as it could get with these metals. Still, Thor worries as he looked at the faces of the warriors around them.

They were all looking at him and Loki with unconcealed interest and anticipation. No doubt all of them were craving to pit their strength against the King and the Crown Prince of Beast.

The referee came up to Thor to inspect his weapon, then to Loki.

“No ice voodoo yes?” The referee asked. The referee and pretty much everyone knew Loki even when he wears his Aesir form.

“Aye” Loki gave a nod.

The man grunted before moving on to the next warrior.

All too soon every warrior had been inspected and it was time to start.

Thor suddenly didn’t think this was a good idea. What if the referee had missed one warrior? What if the referee had missed some hidden weapons? In the mad scramble if anyone was to assassinate Loki, none would be the wiser. It could even be made to look like an accident. Freak accidents happen. People do die in melee.

“Loki I don’t-”

“Go!” The referee shouted.

The melee started and it was a mad scramble as they raced at each other.

All thought were knocked out of Thor’s mind as the first weapon swung down; Thor barely had time to raise his in defense. Sparks flew where metal contact. Thor kicked out, slamming his heels into the man’s guts sending the fire demon stumbling slightly.

The warrior licked his lips. The bulk of his tan lean muscles tightened and in another heartbeat he charged at Thor.

Thor was ready for him. His heart hammered and pumped as the melee went on.

The watching crowd was wild.

 _Look…Look at the King of Asgard..._ _Look…_

 _Look at the Prince of Beast…_ _Look._

Thor had long lost sight of Loki and couldn’t afford to look for the prince or he’d be clobbered. He’d fended off two warriors that challenged him at once and sometimes more. He was a very popular target. The perks of being the King.

By the end of the fourth hour, Thor’s muscles were aching, his sweaty hands were aching and there were still a good forty or so warrior left in the arena. The crowd was still pack and increasing in numbers. Cheering, shouting and no doubt betting.

Loki was still in, but the prince was sprouting a split lip and some bruises along his jaw. That normally neat raven locks were a mess, that pale skin sweaty and the new armor muddy and dirty but Thor could tell that Loki was enjoying himself. The prince was laughing and screaming as he struck the warrior coming at him. He was fast and he was brutal.

Thor let his worries go. Loki is fine.

By the time it was down to twenty, the sun was starting to set and Loki was finally out of the game. He’d lost his sword and was knock flat on his back. Loki couldn’t very well conjure ice blades and was thus out, much to his displeasure.

Then when it was finally down to seven, Thor thought he had had enough. He didn’t need to win, he had fun. He let a particularly bulky Vanir knock him down and surrendered.

He limped slightly towards the bench where Loki sat with the other warriors.

They cheered and clapped when Thor came to join them. It doesn’t matter who had won or lost, all were worthy of respect. An Elf shifted to make space for Thor. If anyone noticed that that space was specifically beside Loki, no one said a thing. It seems that beating the living light out of each other had helped forged some degree of respect between the warriors which miraculously included Loki.

Thor had only a few glimpse of Loki throughout the whole event. He did not really see Loki fight, but it must have been impressive if the warriors were finally giving Loki a silver of respect.

Loki regarded Thor with a mischievous smile when Thor came to sit by him.

“How shocking that the Mighty Thor isn’t the last one standing” Loki said pleasantly.

“They are all very formidable warriors”

“Oh I have no doubt” Loki said, turning back to the ring.

The crowd started to thin considerably after Thor had lost.

The sun was down when the bout finished. The last one standing was an Aesir, all bloody, muddy and sweaty but he had won. They all cheered and clapped, making their way to congratulate the winner. All but Thor and Loki that is.

Thor would have gone up to congratulate the man too, but he didn’t want to leave Loki alone. And Loki was hardly the type to congratulate anyone. Though, Thor did give the man a smile and a nod when he looked over to his King for approval.

“I presume it’s time to go back?” Loki stood to his feet.

“We are not going back tonight” Thor said.

“And what of the feast held in your name?” Loki reminded the King.

“What then of the celebration here and the celebration over the hills, and those in Fyrisvellir and the feast in the home of commoners and the drinking down in the taverns?” Thor asked. “They are all in my name and in my honor…Tell me, should I be present at every one of them?”

“Hmm...” Loki looked at Thor with interest.

Where is this defiance coming from? This utter selfishness...

“What would the Queen say I wonder”

“Why should she say anything?” Thor reached forth to take Loki’s hand; his thumb brushes Loki’s bruised knuckles. “I have not and will not shun by duty. But for now…”

“…”

“Come” Thor got up.

The armies are ready to move out the moment he gave the signal. The stores are packed with supplies and he will choose his consort come the night after next. For tonight, neither the Queen nor Asgard needed the King.   

 

 

* * *

 

 

It took them a while to find an inn with any room left and it was only when the sun had truly set that they left to venture the streets again. The moment they were alone in their shared room, Loki had demanded Thor to remove his damn armor and had himself a long bath and a nap. While he sleeps, Thor left him to get them new sets of clothes.

“I didn’t think you would like us wearing those clothes from before” Thor had said when he showed Loki the velvet tunic of deep emerald he’d bought for him.

From what Loki had seen, Aesir warriors had no qualms about wearing their disgusting armor all day even after grueling sparring. Thor was doing this for his benefit. Hel, Thor had even gotten himself fresh clothes too.

They were tunics too, but with slight different in design and they were the color of deep sapphire. Then there were the standard leather pants and leather belt studded with gems to go along with them.

It seemed that Thor knew what he would or would not like. That was to be expected Loki suppose. Even a dullard who had spent months with him would pick up something after awhile.

“This would suffice” Loki had said after a glance in the mirror.

Thor beamed. “Come then”

They went down the wooden creaking stairs that Loki swore would break under their weight at any moment. Truth, Loki was expecting Thor to take them for more wild drinking and partying as Aesir seem to love, was surprised when Thor led them to a more quiet part of town.

“I’ll take you to our theater after dinner. I got us box seats” Thor told Loki as they stroll over the stone bridge.

“Theater?” Loki snorted.

He would never have thought Thor and theater would ever fit as one. It was just unthinkable that Thor would be even the slightest bit interested in anything that doesn’t involve smashing.

“You never cease to amaze me do you?” He laughs.

“I thought that you would like it” Thor defended, looking away. “You could barely dance! You are lousy at holding your drink. What else is there to do?! I thought someone like that would be used to something more soothing for entertainment”

The sudden insult and reaction told Loki all he needed to know. Thor likes the theater. And he was ashamed.

“Ah… the Mighty Thor” Loki chuckled. “The beast slayer…How the realm would tremble in laughter if only they knew”

“We don’t have to go if-”

“I tease your Grace” Loki smiled. “We will go”

“…”

“I suppose truly no one knows”

Thor shrugged; he did not deny nor confirm.

“Oh I like this” Loki grinned. Another secret it seem.

Thor was silent after that, clearly uncomfortable. Loki could never understand why the Aesir had such strict rules of what was to be male or female interest. Art was female and smashing was male. Child care was female and metal craft was male. If you break the rules you were tormented and shunned.

Ridiculous!

On Jotunheim he’d seen some of the greatest warriors running after their little ones in the streets. He’d even hear some of the greatest warrior sing in Laufey’s hall. It did not make them any less of a warrior.

“So tell me, what else do I not know about the Golden King?” Loki asked.

“Perhaps he is not so golden?”

“Oh yes” Loki said. “He is foul and rusted beneath all that gold”

“You would know won’t you”

“Very well indeed. And he is no less perfect to me”

Thor smile, giving Loki a playful shove. Loki hummed.

They spoke of nothing of importance, teasing and mocking as they walked beneath the endless diamond sky.

Loki had always teases, giving his trademark mischievous grin and smirks and laughs; for it was a behaviour that flows most naturally for him. A shadow of the trickster that was once him centuries ago; hiding the truth of his rapidly fading ability to feel anything positive. But Loki doesn’t think of it, because if he did, he will be afraid. And what is a warrior who fears to wield his own ultimate weapon? What is a King who enters a battlefield praying that he would not need to pick up his weapon?

The gentle wind blew, rustling the low hanging vines of trees by the river. The clamor drunken fools and banging noises call music seem a distant away as they strolled down rows of finer eatery. The warm fragrant of roasted meat and stew were thick in the air.

The Lord and Ladies who were in for a more quiet night strolled up and down the stony ground pass them. Some turn to give them a look and whisper in hush voices while others could not be more besotted with their partner did not even seem to notice them. But even so, Loki could tell that Thor was uncomfortable.

For all the bravado Thor had claim he did not care, Loki could tell that Thor was worry about public perception still. For all the confidence Thor presents himself to the entire realm, Loki knew that Thor is insecure. And when it came down to it, when there was nothing distracting him, Thor did care.

Loki brushed his fingers over Thor’s bare arm, catching his attention.

“I can put a glamour over us if you prefer”

“It’s alright” Thor reach to cover Loki’s hand.

Gentle melody of the violin resonated down the street. Lanterns hung from every eatery at their ornate entrance casting a muted light over the place.

The eatery that Thor had picked for the night was small in Loki’s opinion. Its interior was made wholly of ancient oak and its private room looked as if a cabin. The ceiling was low, antique decoration hung from walls, a small fire place by their side crackle and burn as Loki sat upon a chair that looked as if it was carved out of an ancient tree.

“You will like it” Thor promised when Loki look at their private room skeptically.

“After that skewer, I am sure anything would taste heavenly”

Thor laughs as the door open and the server men brought them their dishes.

They started with fresh oysters, caviar, goose liver, creamy pumpkin soup, crusted hot bread roasted with butter and herbs and some greens dressed with apple, nuts and cheese. Then came the mashed potatoes mixed with herbs and cheese, honeyed ham, beacons, little meat pies, suckling pig roast to sweet crunchy crisp and roasted boar stuffed with mushrooms and drench in gravy.

Loki cut himself a large piece of honeyed ham and brought them to his plate.

“What is it like in Jotunheim?” Thor wondered.

Loki considered it for a moment.

“Different” He said finally. “A different beauty. An ominous one some would say”

“In a realm so harsh, I would expect so”

“Our beauty is not in the gold that lined our walls or the gems in our artworks or our metal craft or music or dances. They do not define us” Loki said. “Jotunheim is a realm of silver and white of ice and snow. Our beauty is in our buildings, temples, cathedral, statues, walls and bridges that spend hundreds of miles long and thrice as large and as wide as the stone bridges of Asgard. And should you be lucky enough to enter the great hall of Laufey, I say to you, look upon the walls, the pillars, the very ground you stand and you will see our history carve so finely and in such detail into its very structure. And if you look upon the throne of ice and steel from the dais, you will see Yggdrasil before you. We are builders, creators and crafters as hard as it is for you Aesir to believe, that is Jotunheim”

“I believe you” Thor said. “I saw the design you drew for the gold pieces of your armor. I have never seen anything like it”

Loki picked up a piece of pie.

He had not lied about Jotunheim, but with the lost of the casket, the temperature had risen in the centuries. These great feats of art, their buildings, their bridges and statues had crumbled into rubbles and were in ruin. The walls had to be mended every decade or so to keep the ice strong but eventually that would crumble too. The glacial had melted, flooding the lower land. Crops and life stocks die in the numbers from the heat and crumbling ice beneath. Famine plagued the realm for a millennium, sickness spread, rebellions rise and fall, claiming millions. Jotunheim is a dying realm. But not anymore… the casket is home at long last; and Jotunheim will unite once again under the banner of vengeance against Asgard.

The serving men came and cleared off the unfinished dishes and Thor motioned for the sweets to be served. Loki dipped his greasy digits into a small bowl of lemon water, cleaning his fingers.

“I hope you like caramel apples” Thor said.

 

 

* * *

 

 

From the moment Loki laid eyes on the theater, he could only wonder how he had missed such a massive structure that sweep upwards to the heavens with such height and with such grandeur.

The walls were silvery grey, smooth and cold, as if the entire structure were carved out of a mountain. Flying buttress connected the pinnacles. The tracery high above the entrance was an ornate interlacing pattern of vines and leafs framing the ocular of Gothic rose window. And gargoyles stood on either side of the entrance paved with stone. The vaulted ceiling within reaching massive heights was ornamented with a kaleidoscope of ruby, sapphire and emerald spanning across the entire theater.

Thor led Loki down the aisle and up a winding stair with rails of ebony and steps of marble, then down a hallway to their private seat in the balcony. Two velvet chairs were ready for them behind the thick crimson curtain of privacy.

“It seems Aesir do more than stack boulders together” Loki said once they had settled. “I am impressed”

“I’m glad you approve”

From where Loki sat, he could make out that most of the audience were noble ladies and their grumpy Lords who wished he could be anywhere but this embarrassment of a place.

“If…if this is not to your taste, we may leave and I’ll think of something” Thor said quickly, just as the lights dimmed, the organs started, mist and smoke curled and rose and the curtains began to rise.

A voice that puts the angels to shame radiated in splendor. It was a story of ice, of love so pure, destroyed in the hands of betrayal, giving way to anger, vengeance, destruction and death. Loki was intrigue by the singer’s voices, by the sensual grace the dancers move and by the music that resonate.

He looked over at Thor by his side, who was watching the musical, but Loki could tell that worry and fear still sits on his mind. Worry perhaps that he might have been seen coming in here. Fear of the rumors that would spread. And perhaps even the fear that Loki would mock and tease him too.

A gentle smile touch Loki’s lips, and what he did next, he would tell himself it was all part of his scheme. Or that it was for his own sake. He straightened up in his seat. And with a few well chosen words, the warmth of seid trickle over his fingers and shimmering sliver thread stirred, curling and dancing over the palm of his hand.

“Loki?” There was fear in Thor’s voice.

“Shhh…put your worries to rest. And enjoy, your Grace…” With a gentle wave of his hand, the thread drifted from Loki’s slender fingers, leaping and dancing over the round chamber down below.

Thor’s eyes widened as the scene of gold and red slowly morphed to silver and white, as told by the song of ice. Details… beauty that could only exist in a world of fantasy. Glowing silver thread splashed across the golden chandelier and at once it was gold no more, but glassy cerulean.

The audience beneath gasped and clapped, thinking it was all part of the performance as pillars too started to fade and shimmering white petals of roses began to fall like snow.

And with another curl of Loki’s finger, the light dimmed, till it was almost as dark as night, but enough to see the performer on stage. Mist and smoke rose and slithered across the carpeted floor.

The audience beneath whispered in excitement.

The performer sang on and danced as if this were all part of the act.

Loki chuckled, casting glittering illusions of delicate beast, of does and stags and doves as in the dark melody Thor loved so much.

Loki had given them more intriguing thing to talk about than the King, come morning. If indeed they did see their Golden King that is.

“I may not be much of a dancer” Loki said. “But that doesn’t mean I am not a performer” With a flick of his fingers, the soaring dove splashed against the lead singer and her velvet dress of royal purple were shimmering white of snow.

The audience leaped to their feet, clapping in breath taking awe.

“Talk of these would be more fascinating than you I am sure” Loki looked back at Thor to see that at last, he was smiling.

Worry and fear had left the King. Thor chuckled.

“You are…beyond words” Thor said.

As the night dwindled, the darkness, and elegance, the macabre beauty depict in their melody were brought to life beneath Loki’s design and imagination with simply the twirl, and wave of his long pale fingers. Horses prance through a silver storm; carriages raced uncontrolled and vanished with a terrifying flash of venom green, giving way to a dozen ghostly figures dancing gracefully, across the chamber with their nimble steps and sweeping translucent gowns of glowing cerulean. Their glittering translucent face were beautiful, their expressions were a point between pain and sensuality.

Faster and faster they twirl as the dark music of the organ resonated in crescendo and the soprano resonated to high heavens. Then merging finally as one glittering cerulean dancing silhouette; terrifying silver tendril rose at once in numbers, chasing and chasing as the figure dance in all her splendor, at last ensnaring her, curling and enveloping, piercing and ripping her shimmering gown in macabre beauty even as she twirled and struggled, opening her translucent lips in one last silent scream, she fell and was no more.

The audience gasped.

Then with another flash, thousands of glowing cerulean butterflies burst forth, and snow began to fall.

Scenes of ice morphed and change in every act, as if a passing memory. 

By the end of the night, it was without a doubt one of the best and most beautiful performance Thor had ever seen. And if he had enjoyed one more, he had no memory of it.

“Thank you” Thor said when at last they left the theater.

“Don’t flatter yourself” Loki said. “Their performance was pathetic in the first act and I don’t watch pathetic performance”

“I see”

Hesitantly, Thor took Loki’s hand as they came to the river side. Fireflies glowed all about them as they walked silently, and all that could be heard were the soft rushing of water and the soft murmurs of the roaring party on the other side of the town.

Then Thor spoke.

“For the beast of our children’s nightmares, able to fashion something so beautiful with such ease, I cannot help but wonder if we have been so dreadfully wrong. Perhaps peace is not so impossible”

“Or perhaps, you are simply a blind fool”

“You are not a monster”

Loki snorted. "Sentiments..."

"You are not a monster" Thor said again, more firmly.

 _“Only you”_ Loki thought, turning to face Thor. _“Only you had ever looked at me without contempt or disgust or fear. Only you do not see a monster_ ”

Without thinking, Loki lifted his slender free fingers to touch Thor’s face, turning the God to him.

“Loki?”

“…”

“Are you alri-” A slender finger pressed against Thor’s lips.

A pain, an ached…a good one Loki thinks, tightened in his chest.

Truth, his declaration to Odin that he could feel absolutely nothing positive was not strictly true. Sometimes there is still the ever so faint lingering of warmth, a dull throb; a shimmering ached of something… _good_ , beneath a numbing layer of shell that thickens with each whisper of black magic. But in these rare occasions, he refuses to acknowledge them. He rejects them utterly. Perhaps in that sense, you could say that his declaration is true.

But this time…it just wouldn’t go. The faint lingering ache of _something_ …and it terrifies him.

Gently, Thor reached up to hold Loki’s hand, and with a tenderness that always startle Loki, making him long for something he could almost remember, Thor kisses the palm of his hand.

 

 

* * *

 

 

For a moment Helblindi was stunned, frozen in place at the sight, when he opened Byleistr’s door. At first sight, there was a scuffle on the bed; two larger Jotuns were wrestling Byleistr down, shoving the prince roughly into the fur beneath. Byleistr snarled and kicked, fighting pinching fingers. Then all at once, Helblindi’s sense came crashing down on him as if a thousand ton boulder. Horror twisted, anger surged.

“Get away from him!” Helblindi dashed across the chamber without a thought.

One of the assailants barely managed to turn around before a fist came flying, breaking his nose with a loud crack, snapping his head back.

“Blindi! Blindi!” Byleistr cried in panic.

The goon fell back in shock. Helblindi was swinging his fist again when Byleistr caught his wrist.

“Stop it! Stop!” Byleistr spat in shaking rage; his eyes were murderous. “What are you doing?!”

Helblindi looked at him in shock and confusion.

What was he doing? He was saving his brother from being raped that was what he was doing! Or at least that was what he thought he was doing! Byleistr angry expression was surely telling him a different story though.

Helblindi looked at the two Jotun who had scurried off the bed; one was nursing his bleeding nose, while the other was looking rather uncomfortable. They were naked and now that Helblindi was looking, he knew their faces. One was Byleistr’s personal guard and the other was Tyr, Thrym’s second in command and soon to be General when Thrym dies; which seem to be soon.

“What is going on here?!” Helblindi demanded; turning to his brother.

Byleistr growled, shoving Helblindi’s hand away.

“You should be clad in robes of black feathers brother” Byleistr gritted, getting off the bed. “Your arrival is as ill luck as the raven from the south”

“…”

“Sveinn, clean yourself up and take the night off” Byleistr snapped at his bloodied guard. “And Tyr…you stay”

“As you command my prince” Tyr bowed.

“Come brother” Byleistr beckoned for Helblindi to follow him, grabbing his loincloth off the chair as he passed, but not the fur. He did not intent to speak to his brother for long.

Byleistr showed Helblindi into a small room connected to his and shuts the door with a click. It was his work room. He did not offer Helblindi a seat.

“What now?” Byleistr puts on his loincloth. “I told you not to come unannounced did I not?”

“What was that about?!” Helblindi snapped; as if he had suddenly found his voice.

“Sex. I like the struggle and I like it rough. Have you arrived later; I would have been tied up and beaten too. Just so you know, if you decide on another unannounced visit”

“You are sleeping with Tyr?! Since when?!”

“What is it to you who I take to my bed?” Byleistr ties the cloth loosely. One well place tug would be enough to unravel it.

“Do you sleep with all the Generals and their second in command?!” Helblindi was clearly disgusted.

Byleistr heaved a sigh.

Helblindi… Helblindi... That sweet innocent mind of his...

The thought of telling Helblindi that the _title of prince, and promise of power isn’t the only way to get men to do your bidding or acquire information, the best weapon happens to be between ones leg_ was tempting. Helblindi’s expression would have almost been worth the annoyance. Almost.

“I do not sleep with Thrym” Byleistr said instead.

Not that he hadn’t tried seducing him. He just didn’t look enough like their dam for that to work. He had more muscles, and was more on the bulky side like their sire. If he had Loki’s leaner, hungrier look, he might have succeeded.

A pity really. 

Oh well, Lord Thrym will be discharge of his position soon.

Before Helblindi could open his mouth to say another word, Byleistr cuts in. “I doubt our confinement sentence is over so soon. Why are you here?”

Helblindi gritted his jaws as he glared at Byleistr.

Why had he come? Well, he had come to have a talk with his dear sibling about that scheme of his with Thrym.

Laufey had been soft. Too soft! As he always is when it came to them. He will not accept it!  You do not betray your family!

He wanted to ask Byleistr _why_? _how_? How did it come to all this?! What is wrong with him?! And to stop this insanity! He wanted to hear Byleistr say he had given up his poisonous fantasy! Given up his murderous madness! Something…

“Well?” Byleistr asked impatiently when Helblindi remain silent.

“Nothing” Helblindi rasped. “I do not think now is the best time. I did not know you have company”

“Clearly”

“I will take my leave now”

“Please do…and might I suggest that there is no reason to inform anyone of this liaison” 

"If you swear to stop this nons-"

"It is none of your business who I take to my bed" 

“Tyr is with mate!”

“Yes. I have not forgotten the time when Loki publicly shames him over his infidelity…which I assure you, he is still sore from it. But as you can see, he is still rather loose with his cock and cunt” Byleistr said. “So really, humiliating him again, isn’t going to change much”

“Telling dam would make sure he keeps his cock out of you!”

“Hmm…maybe” Byleistr shrugged. “But are you so cruel that you would lay even more burden on dam when he is mourning over Lord Thrym’s dead bed?”

“…”

“Or sire? When he is at his wits end with dam’s anguish and the wild rumors that it is he who sends Fenrir?”

In that instant, Helblindi simply looked at Byleistr as if he was some kind of monster, speaking to him with his brother’s voice and image. His silence though, is answer enough for Byleistr.

“I think not” Byleistr grinned. “Good night, brother”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Creaking bed, shallows pants; tanned skin and piercing cerulean eyes that seemed to glow in the dark of night. Warm hands slides down Loki’s inner thighs, brushing teasingly over the edge of Loki’s straining length. Loki groaned in near pain from the need to be touched.

“If only I could have you in your true form…” Thor whispered.

“Some things…are not meant to be…Some things…not even the King can demand it be done…”  Loki shuddered.

There was something different tonight. Something different in the way Thor touches him, kisses him. There was none of that wild passion, the intoxicating excitement of pain, danger and domination.

Loki moaned as he drops his head back against the side of the bed, lips parted and fingers twisting the sheets beneath them as Thor move in him at a slow pace, impaling him over and over again. Setting him ablaze with every thrust and letting the fire burn torturously slow, letting pleasure mount till Loki wanted to scream and Thor would stop and he would kiss him…his lips…his neck…his collarbone…his chest…that warm lips brushes over his tense shoulder. And those rough warm hands would caress him with a tenderness Loki could not bear. He’d touch him everywhere but where he ache the most, where he wanted to be touched the most.

Thor’s gentleness, the painful desperation in which Thor worshiped every inch of his body was more intoxicating, more cruel than any pain Thor could give to him. He begged for Thor to end his torment, he pleaded and weeps in frustration, and clawed down the arms and back of the Aesir King. But Thor ignored him.

Everything happened at Thor’s will, and in his time and his time alone. There was a certain excitement to this indifference Loki found. There is thrill in submission, a certain blend of humiliation and exhilaration, to be so completely owned, to be so completely at another’s mercy. To know that his pleasure is Thor’s to give and to deny, his pain, his moans were for Thor and Thor alone.

“Please…please…let me…please…” Loki gasped; long pale fingers clenched and unclenched those messy golden tresses, his inner thigh ached with the exertion as Thor slowly lowered him down on his hard erection, piercing him, impaling him relentlessly, sending streaks of lightning tearing through him, a pleasure mounted to such sweet pain that he could only weep.

He wanted to come so badly without Thor having once touched his throbbing length; without Thor once having struck him, he wanted….

“Not yet…” Thor kissed Loki’s ribs. “Not yet…” Rough thumb wipes away Loki’s tears of frustration.

And when finally Loki did come with a painful cry of ecstasy against trembling flesh, he was on his back with their grappling fingers laced together and their bodies covered in sweat.

“Is it always like this with you…? So painfully gentle…and dragged out…?” Loki whispered long after when his head rested against Thor’s chest, long pale fingers ghosting over Thor’s hard packs as he was held close to the King.

“Mostly…I like it this way” Thor said.

This was the first time Thor had held Loki since the purging. The first time he had held Loki with his mind truly his own.

“So you make all your partners beg and weep in frustration? And yet you blame me for your perversion? You are indeed a wolf in sheep’s clothes aren’t you, your Grace?” Loki teased.

“No…it is only you that I have begging me”

“Is that right?”

“I know you like the power play. You know I would not hurt you if you come at any time. And I did not command you not to; I simply did not command you to when you pleaded. But you would not without my permission or command because you like the idea of being owned completely. It arouses you. It thrills you. So I try to provide it…but my way”

“Still a wolf in sheep’s clothes” Loki lifted his gaze to Thor, probed against a mountain of pillow at his back.

Cerulean meets emerald.

“Well you know me best” Thor said cheekily.

“That I do”

“Aye”

“What of those wild abandon passion?” Loki asked.

Thor let out a soft chuckle. “I enjoy those… _wild abandon passions_ too. But dominating my bed partner to _that_ extent that I did, does not come naturally to me. My partners are not my possessions nor are they beneath me. They are my equal and I respect them”

“What if this partner likes it?”

Thor smiles, his thumb strokes Loki’s bare shoulder.

“Exceptions could be made”

“Hmm…”

“Do you want to…?” Thor asked. “We could go a second round. Your way, if you li-”

“It’s fine” He shifted closer against Thor.

“Okay” Thor drew the woolen cover up to Loki’s shoulder.

The night had become silent, the sound of parties were no more. In another few hours dawn would be upon them. Thor didn’t want tonight to end. But not even a King, can command time to stop. His free fingers lifted to tuck the stray strand of Loki’s bangs over to back of the prince’s ear.

There was still something tingling at the back of his mind, and it has been since the day Loki absently told him the tale of Lord Thrym’s unborn child and later declares that he was a monster with ease and even pride.

“Loki…”

“Um?”

“If you must insist that you are a monster…then know this. You are more than just a mindless beast. You are more than just a title, just a prince…” Thor slips a finger beneath Loki’s chin, making Loki look up upon him. “You are freedom, you are strength, you are wit, you are courage, you are fire, you are defiance and you are…perfect”

Loki smiles a sad smile, lifting a hand to cup Thor’s face. Words he had never spoken whispered from his lips unbidden. Words he had never spoken and after tonight, he never will again.

“You are more than a son, a brother, a friend, a warrior. You are more than the sword and shield that protects the realm, more than the faith and hope of Gods and men. More than the King of Kings” Loki whispered. “You are honor, you are faith, you are forgiveness, you are mercy, you are compassion, you are kindness, you are love…and I…thank you”

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was noon when Thor and Loki finally decided to tumble out of bed. Thor blinked when he saw four tired but familiar faces lounging in the lobby, waiting for him.

“My friends” Thor beamed. “What are you doing here?”

“Making sure you do not run” Sif said. “The Queen’s order”

“Run?”

“The Queen worries. You vanish yesterday my King” Fandral said.

“Ah…forgive me. It was just a bit of fun” Thor slings his arm over Fandral’s shoulder.

Fandral thought Thor did look a little apologetic, if not, a little sad.

“Told you he is alright” Volstagg laughs, patting Thor’s back. “If you want a bachelor’s party, just say so”

“I’ll do that next time”

“Next time”

They laugh as Loki came down the stairs wearing the stuffy armor he hated. It was much easier to wear it back than to carry loathed as Loki is to admit.

“Ah…the little prince!” Volstagg announced when he saw Loki.

Loki simply gave him a nod, saying nothing.

Then all too soon Hogun had them walking back to the palace.

Sif and Loki walked a little slower, following the warrior three and Thor who were laughing in front of them. They were back to their jokes as if the entire ordeal of knocking on every inn one after the other and receiving the same negative reply, the dread as the hour ticks and there was no sign of their king, the mounting worry that perhaps Thor had indeed elope…it was as if none of that had ever happened. Or perhaps the warrior three were simply better at forgiveness than her.

Sif did not know.

She is furious at the irresponsible stunt that Thor pulled. She is furious at what Thor puts Frigga through. At the careless way Thor nearly destroy Asgard’s reputation among the other realms. But more than anything, more than anger, she worries for him. The Jotun prince has the power to make or unmake Thor.

“If you betray him, I’ll kill you” Sif said.

“My Lady, indeed your loyalty is astounding”

“He is my king and friend”

“Yes…and it pains you doesn’t it? To know that that is all he would ever be” 

“I’ve accepted that I can never be his Queen”

“But you could be mine”

Sif lets out a soft humorless laugh. “This is all a game to you isn’t it?” She turns to Loki.

“What do you think?”

“I do not care enough to think what anything means to you. But I will tell you this, if you hurt him, I will kill you, and that is my vow to you”

“Then my Lady, this is my vow to you” Loki said. “When you come for me, I will adorn you with the crown of high honor. I will give you a battle and a death that would put the warriors that sit in the golden hall of Valhalla to shame. I will put you on the right hand seat of the Allfather in that golden hall above all that had mocked you, for there is no other place that could be worthy of you”

 


	19. Glory and Tragedy

“Excuse me?” Thor stood at his door, looking at the tailor as warily as he was astonished at what he was hearing.

The man had come knocking on his door just as he finished his bath. Norns, Thor hadn’t even had the chance to order the servants to bring both Loki and him their lunch.

“New clothes for the Jotun Prince, your Grace” The man said again, giving his trademark smile. “I will make even your Jotun consort more wondrous and more stunni-"

“Consort?!” Thor cried in bewilderment.

“Yes” The man blinked. “Is something the matter? May I come in to measure him?”

“And on whose orders are you here?” 

“The Queen’s your Grace”

Thor frowned; giving a quick glance over his shoulder to see Loki sitting on the bed, looking at him in utter amusement. No doubt Loki had heard every word of it.

“Do you want something new?” Thor asked.

“I will not wear Aesir rags” Loki said.

“I can fashion any design you require of me my Lord” The man piped.

“And you say it will be ready come tomorrow?” 

“Most certainty”

“Excellent then” Loki stood to his feet.

“I guess you could make do with something new” Thor lets the tailor in.

"How considerate" Loki mocks.

“I have business that needs my attention” Thor told them; leaving at once.

He needed to speak with his mother. He knows she was trying to be supportive even if the whole of Asgard would burn him on the stake if indeed he did chose Loki, but truly this is all a mistake.

He asked the servants he met in the hall if they had seen the Queen.

“She is redecorating the feasting hall, your Grace” They told him.

When he arrived at the golden hall, it had already been cleared of last night’s decorations and was being redecorated again. New curtains were being put up and ice was being carved up anew. Table clothes were being changed; floors were being mopped and windows were being cleaned. And it looked to Thor that some sorceress was spelling vines to curl elegantly over one of the golden pillars.

“Thor!” Frigga smiled, opening her arms when she spotted him standing at the threshold of the chamber.

“Forgive me for last night” Thor said, walking towards her. He took her fingers and brought them to his lips, kissing the back of her pastel hand.

“It is quite alright. You are back and that is all that matters”

“Yes” Thor smiled. “Um, about the tailors you send”

“Ah…I thought Loki might need something new for tomorrow night” She smiled. “I cannot have my sweet boy take a consort in tattered ra-”

“I have not decided yet” Thor cuts in before she could finish.

“Oh” Frigga was surprised.

Thor heaved a sigh.

“I… apologize for last night” He started. “I know how it must look to you and everyone. I truly did not mean to cause you trouble. I ju-”

“Oh Thor” Frigga said, lifting her fingers to touch Thor’s face. “Asgard will learn to accept whoever you choose and the other realms will learn it too”

“…”

“Are you not found of him?” Frigga asked.

“It is irrelevant”

“It is not irrelevant” Frigga said firmly.

“Mother…” He takes her hands gently in his.

He knows that she loves him and that is why she says the things she does. And because he loves her too, he cannot do as she bids. He will not have her standing for him and defending his selfishness. He will not have her scrambling to hold Asgard together as she crumbles for his foolishness. Loki is not an ally. And Thor will not be the King that sets Asgard on fire. He cannot and will not, risk her joy turn to ash in her mouth.

“I know what I’m doing” He said. “I need you to trust me”

Cerulean meets cerulean.

“Alright then…” She said.

Thor smile.

“Come" He said. "I will have the servants bring lunch to Loki and have them bring ours to the garden” 

He accompanied the Queen until it was time for the evening feast again.

“It is tradition that you will lead the dance with your most likely consort” Frigga told him when it was time for him to get ready.

 

 

* * *

 

 

As usual the feast and dancing were held in that golden hall Thor was getting very acquainted with. Loki was waiting for him behind the ornate door in his beautiful Jotun garb of snow white fur of Arctic wolves held together over his hip by silver decorative clasp; ebony veil covered half his beautiful features and leather gloves adorned his hands. His braided locks Thor noted, were once again woven with gems that glittered in the light.

Loki looked at him questioningly. This was all a new development to him Thor did not doubt.

“Well if you would enlighten me as to why I am here?” Loki asked.

“We will walk down the steps once we are through this door and we will lead a dance at the opening of the feast”

Loki’s eyes widened, taking a step back.

“No” he blurted.

“Loki”

“You mean to make me a fool?!”

Thor wanted to say _You won’t be,_ but he knew Loki would only call him a liar and Loki would be right. Loki was not the best of dancers and he worst still, he is Jotun. They would mock and point.

Thor knew he was selfish to want Loki to lead tonight’s dance with him. But he could not bear to pick anyone else. Loki is the consort he wanted, not anyone else. Even if he will not announce him tomorrow, he wanted to give himself at least this honesty.

“Then I will be a fool with you” Thor said.

Loki couldn’t help but look at the guards at the door as if to see if they were already snickering. 

“You are already the envy of the night even if you do nothing but trip and fall” One of the guards spoke suddenly.

Such speaking out of line in Jotunheim would have meant a severe punishment but Thor only frowned at the man before turning back to Loki.

“Loki…I know I promise you that you wouldn’t have to dance if you did not wis-”

“I’ll do it” Loki said.

Thor lit up.

“You won’t regret it!” He took Loki’s hand.

And in another instant the guards swung the door apart to reveal the wondrous hall of silver and white.

The magnificent marble steps were carpeted in deep crimson, the railings were spelled with curling vines and azure roses. Towering ice carving of some divine Goddess stood proudly as the centerpiece. The high ceiling above had been enchanted to show the night sky and azure petals of roses fell all about them. The usual tables were gone; the banquet had been laid out beautifully on rows of long tables at the other end of the chamber.

So they would not simply sit in their assigned seats tonight Loki realized. They would dance and mingle it seems.

It was so different from every other night Loki wondered if there was a meaning behind this dance they were to lead.

And why the ice theme? Why the color of silver and white with a dash of blue?

These were not Aesir colors. He had learnt that they prefer the richness of gold and red and perhaps the occasional purple.

Every pair of eyes was on them as they descended the steps. Then with such grace that always seem at odds with Thor's bulky form, Thor swept Loki into his arms and the musicians started to play. There was a veil of mist that covered the floor, giving an illusion of dancing on ice.

Thor danced to Loki’s pace, uncaring that it was much slower than it was to be, forcing the musicians to slow their playing. Loki noted that no one was laughing or taunting him.

 _“_ _They dare not mock the King”_ Loki realized as more and more pairs joined them.

Loki wanted to laugh, knowing that every one of them was forced to keep to his pace. And so to his amusement, he decided to have a few more dance after all.

“Perhaps we’ve irritated them enough for the night?” Thor smirked after the forth dance. “You wouldn’t want them to come at us with torches and pitchforks do you?”

“And why not? It would be a sight to behold don’t you agree?” Loki asked sweetly.

Thor laughed.

The night seemed to go on forever, the music, the dancing, the feasting. Loki tried a little of every game that was laid out in overflowing abundance. He wasn’t a big fan of meat and it was starting to make him sick. It seems Aesir really do not serve much of fruits and if they did, it was in measly amount like perhaps one pathetic cherry on top of some cheese cakes.

“Shall I get you something to drink?” Thor asked.

“If you wish” Loki move to pick up one of the apples that he was sure was décor. Honestly, such a waste of food.

“Loki…” .

“Well, go get my drink” Loki said, biting into his apple.

Thor lets Loki do as he please as he move towards the other end of the long table. Vigdis smiled at him when he picked up two goblets of mead.

“How was your evening your Grace?” She asked.

“Wonderful”

“It is good to hear”

“I hope you are enjoying the evening too”

“Yes…but I was wondering if your Grace would honor me with a dance?”

“Ah…” Thor looked down at the two goblets in his hand.

Vigdis giggled. “Maybe later”

“Mayb-” A loud sharp crash startled them all.

Thor whipped around to see that trays of stews, lotus soups and honey pastries had smashed onto the ground and Loki was grasping the table cloth hard with one hand, the other clawing at his chest and he was gasping, heaving and shaking. Something was very very wrong.

“Loki?!” Thor dropped the goblet in sudden fear, rushing over just as Loki collapse, dragging the sapphire velvet cloth down, and sending half the porcelain plates and silver trays smashing onto the ground.

There was a roar of panic as the noble Lord and Ladies, Kings and Queens gasped and whispered in fear and horror at the sudden scene.

“Loki!” Thor shouted. 

Guards rushed to Thor’s side seeking to help.

“The healers! Get the healers!” Frigga shrieked at the guard at the door.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki was at once cold and hot, he was shaking, his every muscle convulsed violently in agony. White hot pain flashed. His head felt like it was going to split in half, his every gasping  breath was agony as if scalding oil were being poured down his throat and filling his lungs with lead even as his fingers clawed at his chest.

A thousand boiling knives were stabbing through him. His every bone felt as if it were being crushed and twisted.

His guts heaved and twisted.

Blazing white light flashed across his vision piercing his eyes, the noise, volley of noises filled his ears so loud so loud he wanted to scream. He ached, he hurt everywhere. Fire was burning him everywhere, devouring, flaying his skin from bones, eating him until he could bare it no more and he screamed and writhed. He could barely register if he was standing or if he was writhing on the ground, he could barely tell where he was! 

All he knew were the occasional shouts of Thor’s thunderous voice that broke in through the haze of red blinding pain and thunderous noise.

“On the bed! Hurry!” He could hear the occasional shouts.

Excruciating pain exploded when he seek for his healing seid and for an instant he could barely register anything as he screamed and screamed, or at least he thinks he is screaming. He couldn’t tell.

Scorching oil surged through his every vein.

For a moment when the light vanished he could see a glowing room, everything was glowing and he could see her…

Hela… standing in a corner with her back to him as Aesirs with blood stained ivory clothes rush and shout over him. Their words made no sense to his ears. Their panic, their frenzy made no sense to him as he laid writhing, convulsing in excruciating agony.

Then she turns around, and he saw her terrifying red eyes, razor sharp teeth and half rotted face hidden beneath the long wavy strands of her tresses.

Fear, terror, horror gripped him. For all his claims that he did not fear death, he did…

The ground she stood was on fire, the scene behind her was the scene of Hel.

He could hear horrifying shrieks of tormented souls, he could hear their cries of pain; he could smell their stench of rotting flesh and open wounds.

 _“_ _Poison…what a mundane end”_ Her cruel voice whisper, cutting through the volley of noise.

“You will not…have me!” Loki gritted in torment, his teeth grinding. “Not yet!”

She laughs, her voice echoed and thundered in his ears.

 _“Cling then… Cling on to your pathetic life …crawling…groveling…”_ She chuckled. _“But I will have you tonight…”_

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thor stood at the edge of the healing room, watching in total helplessness as the healers shouted and rushed, working in a frenzy to help the convulsing Jotun prince.

Blood….blood was everywhere. Blood oozed from every pore of Loki’s cerulean skin, staining the sheets he lay upon, staining the healer’s gown, the pillow, the leather straps they bound Loki’s convulsing limbs upon. What clothes or fur Loki had, were peeled off his blood soaked skin.

If Thor had not been accustomed to the scent of blood and death in the battlefield, the mere rawness of the salty metallic scent that overpowered the room would have made his guts heaved and twist.

Thor looked down upon his own bloody arms from when he had rushed Loki to the healing room. The Jotun skin had destroyed half his armor and burnt off the skin of his arms, palms and fingers. It should hurt, but he felt nothing.

“Thor! Are you listening?!” Frigga shrieked.

And it was only then that Thor realized that Frigga was standing in front of him and that she had been speaking to him. Her golden locks were a mess, her glittering white gown was stain with blood and she was pale.

“Y-yes” Thor said.

“We do not have much time! I need you to go down to the central store in town and get Iduun’s apple!”

Thor did not question her, taking off at once.

Frigga watched him go before turning back to the gory scene in the healing room. She steps towards the convulsing Jotun. Though Loki had not once scream, though his blank expression did not give even a hint of pain, she knew he was in excruciating agony in the prison of his mind. She doubts Loki was even aware of what was happening anymore. All that existed for him right this moment would only be pain.

Blood was trickling down the side of his scarlet eyes, his nose and pouring from his dark lips like black vomit.

Thor will not make it back from the central store in time. Loki was going to die. She just didn’t want Thor to watch Loki pass in such a gory manner.

 _“The Norns love to play their silly little jokes don’t they?”_ She thought.

The potency of the poison is fueled by seid, and the more powerful the magic user, the quicker it would kill and the more excruciatingly painful it would be.

“My Queen, you would waste Iduun’s apple on _this?!_ ” The head healer asked in disbelief.

“Be silent. Have you forgotten your vow as a healer that you will value all lives?”

“Forgive me my Queen. I spoke out of line” She apologized, but did not look the least bit apologetic. If nothing else, she looked as if she thought the King and Queen had clearly lost their minds.

Frigga said nothing. For every one Aesir that could accept a Jotun as being more than filthy animals, there were a thousand who could not. And that is the terrible truth.

“My Queen…He has lost too much blood” Another said quietly. Her shaky hands were covered in blood.

“Should we start the blood transfusion?” asked another yet, much to the head healer’s disgust.

“No” Frigga said. “It is useless. All it serves is prolonging his agony, and even then, Thor will not make it”

They nodded; some of their faces were grim and filled with fear and they were the ones that were trying the hardest to keep the prince alive. Some though were simply indifferent and some still were disgusted at the amount of resources they were already spending on this _thing_.

“We will care for him until the end” Frigga said.

The convulsion was receding, which told Frigga that it is almost time. She did not know how long she watched Loki’s bloody face as the prince’s dull scarlet eyes stared unseeingly ahead. Perhaps it was a minute, perhaps it was five, perhaps even ten…but she watched him. Her expression was unreadable, but it held neither joy nor anguish.

The healers started clearing away the bloody tools and cloth in preparation for the Jotun’s death as they whispered to each other in a harsh tone. They wondered if Thor would send Loki back to that savage realm of ice for his burial.

They did not think Jotuns burn their deceased. Hel, for all they knew, Jotuns ate their dead.

A tub was being filled in the corner in preparation to clean the prince upon his last breath when Thor burst in, shocking them all.

“Thor?” Frigga gasped.

“Here!” Thor held out Iduun’s apple.

Frigga took the apple at once and handed it to the head healer to crush and grind, turning it into a rich golden liquid. The pace in which she work was astounding, not because she wanted to save the Jotun, but because she knew her King would be most displease if she fails. The moment it was done, and she poured it down Loki’s throat.

It was a heartbeat, where it seem that the entire room held her breath and Loki stopped convulsing, but he remained unmoving and silent, not a sign that he even knew what was happening. Those unseeing eyes drifted shut and for one horrifying moment, Thor feared he was too late.

“Calm yourself” Frigga touch Thor’s arm, catching his attention.

“Will he…”

“He will live” Frigga said.

At once, relief drenched over Thor, he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

“Norns…” Thor breathes “Thank the Norns!”

“Yes”

Thor meant to step towards Loki when the healers finally backed away, but Frigga stopped him.

“Let the healers clean him and let him rest” She said.

“I wish to be with him”

“You need to have your wounds looked at and you need to rest too”

“Please…” It was a plea.

Frigga looked at Thor tiredly as if she wanted to say more, but eventually she relented. “I will have the healers look at your wounds and have clothes brought to you”

“I thank you mother”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 Bragi, Thor’s second in command runs his fingers through his wavy shoulder-length brunette locks in irritation as his hazel eyes looked over at the mess on the marble ground.

His men were packing samples from every dish to be sent for testing as a precaution. He didn’t think they would find anything. The poison he suspect, was only in the fruit décor; which was sitting all too innocently in their ornate bowl.

One of his men had already sent the half eaten apple for testing. Confirming the poison itself was the first step he decided. And after, he could perhaps attempt to narrow down the list of suspects from that. He doubt that would be any easier than finding a needle in a haystack.

The list of people who would wish the Jotun dead was a mile long and every one of them was as powerful as they come. The King and Queen, the Prince and Princesses and the highborn Lord and Ladies of every great realm present.

Compliment to Thor’s not-so-subtle attraction to the Jotun, is there _any_ powerful guest who did not wish the beast dead was the better question.

“Ser” One of the server girls came up to him. “When can we start clearing this place? It is getting late”

“Not tonight” Bragi said. “And I will have you inform the cooks and the other servers that I would need to speak with them at first light”

The girl’s eyes widen in shock and horror.

“Ser, you don’t think any one of us would have anything to do with this poison business do you?! Surely not!” The girl cried in indignant.

How dare this man call their honor into question! They whom were all handpick by the Queen herself to serve in this magnificent feast. And this man would question it?! Question the Queen’s trust in them?! This is an insult!

“You call us untrustworthy?! Murderers?! By our honor we would never poison anyone Ser!” She cried.

 _“Unless commanded to”_ Bragi thought.

If he was to be brutally honest, even the Queen of Asgard was on the list of suspects.

“It is simply procedure” He said.

“Ridiculous!”

Bragi couldn’t agree more. This entire farce was ridiculous.

He waved her off.

“Go inform the others and get some rest”

“As you command” She said, stalking off.

Bragi heaved a sigh. If a mere servant would be so offended at the idea of even being questioned over the poisoning of a mindless beast, how well then would the High lords take it?

He was not looking forward to it.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki woke to a darkened room with a splitting headache and his entire body ached. His throat was sore and his lips were parched. He had no notion of the hour or how long he had slept. He laid on his front for a little longer, his scarlet eyes adjusting to the dimness. There was a pitcher and a glass of water on the strange little table beside him and he noticed that he was not on Thor’s bed. This mattress was lumpy and it smelt funny.

Where is he?

He tried to get up. Wrong move. His every muscle ached and shrieked. Loki gasped.

“Loki?” Came a voice and at once Loki saw movement at the corner of his eyes.

The figure lit the candle by that strange table and Loki saw his face.

Thor…

“Thank the Norns you are awake” Thor knelt by him.

Loki thought that Thor looked exhausted. He noted too that Thor’s arms were bandaged, and that the usual armor had been replace by velvet tunic of deep crimson.

“How long…?” Loki croaked.

“A few hours. Dawn is near”

“Water…”

“Here” Thor moves to hand him that cool glass of water, and helped him drink.

Norns... the first trickle of cool liquid down his burning throat was heaven. He drank and he drank. Thor poured him a second glass and then the third before he has had enough. 

“Rest…you need to rest” Thor caresses Loki’s cheeks with the back of his gloved fingers. “I’ve doubled the guards at the door. You are safe. I will not let anyone harm you” 

Loki nodded, closing his eyes. He is so tired. So tired to even think…

Thor watched Loki sleep once again as he pulls his chair closer.

Whispers and talks were already to be heard through the golden halls, through the kitchen, the servant’s quarters and by the first light of the coming morning, Thor could guess that even the streets beneath would be talking.

Though massive investigation was underway, Thor knew that there would be no trial, no justice, no accuse to take the stand. The investigation itself was a joke.

Was the King of Asgard so delusional that he would put a God or Goddess on trial for the attempted killing of a mindless savage animal?

Thor leaned back in his wooden chair, watching over the Jotun prince.

He tried not to think that if he had not given Loki Iduun’s apple during the hunt or if Loki had eaten it then, Loki would not be here now. He knew that he would not have made it back from the store in time. And he thanked the Norn on bended knees that in his moment of panic he had not been struck witless, and that he had actually remembered that apple souvenir Loki kept in his hunting bag.

He had raced back to his room instead to the central store and found the innocent little bag tossed in a corner.

Thor took the heavy metallic pitcher and refilled Loki’s glass before trying to get some sleep in his chair.

Loki did not wake again until noon when the healers came to check on him and to give him a night dress.

Loki was once again back to his Aesir form. He ate little and spoke less still, as he was contended to sit on his bed and hold Thor’s right hand in his own pastel ones. He played and fiddled with the bandaged fingers, running his long slender ones over them.

Thor’s announcement tonight at the final feast was sitting between them but neither wanted to speak of it.

“I can heal you…” Loki murmured.

“There is no need. Do not exhaust yourself”

“You gave me Iduun’s apple”

“Aye”

“….”

“But how did you know? I do not remember that the healers told you”

“I know…” Loki whispered, trailing his fingers up Thor’s bandaged arm. He lifted his tired gaze to meet Thor’s. “I know…” Slender fingers touch Thor’s face.

Thor watched Loki intently. There was something else going on that Loki was not telling him.

Loki seemed different. There was something else to his expression, something Thor could not quite place. And the way those emerald eyes looked at him, they were not the usual icy cold ones; they seem different… and so sad?

“Kiss me” Loki said unexpectedly quietly.

Thor smiled, shifting closer along the mattress and he leans down, sealing their lips in a gentle kiss, as those pale fingers slips into the wealth of his golden tresses. Loki moaned; his lips parted willingly for Thor as the King deepened the kiss.

It was different, so different…

There was none of the clumsy battle for dominance or that wild abandon passion, but there was something else. There was an intimacy and a tenderness that Thor had never felt beneath Loki’s touch. A warmth, a gentleness that threatens to undo him. Thor groaned, moving his large hand over the side of Loki’s neck, holding him tenderly as they simply explore each other.

Coaxing, teasing, testing, inviting…

Then all too soon Thor reluctantly pulled back, gazing into those emerald eyes. Their breathe mix.

“You shouldn’t exert yourself” Thor whispered.

“Stay with me until you must go”

“I will…” Thor brushes Loki’s stray locks away from his icy face. “I’m not going anywhere”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Frigga stood where Loki had the night before when Thor took his place for the last time behind that ornate door leading to the golden hall.

“Are you ready?” Frigga extended a hand to Thor.

“No” Thor lifted his fingers to take hers. “But when are we ever ready?”

“You won’t be alone”

“I know” He tried to smile; and with one last glance, he faced the door.

“…”

“It’s time” He said.

The guards on either side swung the door apart, letting the golden light spill in.

 

 

* * *

 

 

In that familiar pristine white room, Loki sat across the Allfather in seething anger. He had woken to more than he had expected. His seid cleanse of corruption to a considerable degree, buying him more time. But he feels now…he remembers now, the warmth, the love, the happiness, the hope.

And he hated it all.

Sentiments… they weigh you down, they chain you up and blind you to what is before you.

“Did you have all that you wanted Allfather?” Loki asked mockingly. "I’ve taken Idunn’s apple. So then now...with these sentimentalities, humor me if you will…would I now fall to my knees in tears, throw myself before your beloved Golden prince, and declare my undying love for him? Would I beg him perhaps to never leave me?” 

“You do love him” Odin said.

“Love” Loki let the word roll over his tongue. “The Norns fashion us all to love, and some say it is our greatest glory and tragedy”

“…”

“But what does it matter? Do you think I would abandon it all for love?” There is no reason to deny it to Odin, but he will not let himself linger over it either. He will not have his hands stayed by something so fleeting.

So pathetic!

“Why are you so angry?” Odin asked.

“I am not” Loki said.

“Yes you are. And you are afraid”

“Is that right?” Loki’s lips curl into a sneer. “And what have I to fear?”

“That is the question isn’t it? What do you fear so much that you would willingly live in such a cold barren existence?”

“I am a survivor”

Odin was silent as he let his gaze graze over Loki’s unreadable expression. They both know that the sand of time is dwindling to its end. The tale was coming to an end.

Ah…But what sort of end would it be? _That_ is the question.

“No more games Loki” Odin said quietly.

“I couldn’t agree more. Perhaps you could finally cast away that mask of lies you wear and admit that you wish me dead”

“Loki, why are you really doing all of this?”

“Still at it are we?”

“I am not the God of Lies”

Loki clenched his jaws, lowering his eyes to the white floor. Odin did not push; simply waited patiently for Loki to answer in his own time. And when Loki did answer, it was one Odin had expected to hear.

“Power…” Came the whisper.

“…”

“And vengeance…” Loki smirks, lifting his gaze upon Odin.  

“Is that all?"

"What do you think?"

"I think there is more”

“Is there? Tell me then”

Odin leans forth a little. His twinkling eyes looking upon Loki. Loki hated those cerulean eyes that seem to forever mock him.

“Guilt” That single word escaped Odin’s lips, making Loki still. “You are running from your guilt. You are afraid of your mistakes”

“…”

“Yes, perhaps in the beginning it is as simple as you say. You hunger for power and you lust for vengeance” Odin conceded. “But as time pass, with every sacrifice you make, you change. Bitterness…anger…they step in with every rejection from your people. Your dam and sire loves you…but that isn’t enough for you…No…You crave worship, you crave respect and you crave adoration from your people. Then came the unexpected mistake. You have a child born out of wedlock. A runt like you. And you hated her for everything she stands for, a living reminder of what you are. You cannot bear to look at her just as you cannot bear to look upon yourself and not loath the form you see. Don’t deny it!” Odin said before Loki could protest.

Loki hissed, but Odin isn’t quiet finish.

“You sacrifice her” The old King continued. “You tell yourself that you do not want her to go through what you did. If that was the whole truth, it would have been a noble cause; one you could live with”

“…”

“But truth is, you did it for yourself more than it was ever for her. You wanted the throne, but you are the crown prince no one wanted”

“…”

“You know that the power you would gain from her death will strike fear in the hearts of those who stand against you; make the impossible, possible. And so you make the sweet deal with the devil. You kill her mother for her eternal silence, though it was later discovered and you make your daughter Queen among the dead in exchange for knowledge and power. You just did not count on guilt to step in. A guilt that almost drove you mad… So you tell yourself that this is just another sacrifice like so many before. You tell yourself that the throne is everything. And as you lie to yourself in your every waking moment, the seid that eats away at you, numbing you, was soon as terrifying a curse as it is a gift”

Odin’s eyes were upon Loki the entire time as he spoke.

But Loki was no longer looking at him. His eyes downcast to the ground and he was eerily still.

Odin went on.

“So here we are…To prove to yourself that the throne is worth any sacrifice, you condemn yourself without hesitation, you shove away any hands that seek to help, spit at kindness, laugh at compassion, and scorn at love. After all that you have done, you refuse to believe that perhaps you could be wrong; perhaps you can have what you seek without the throne and that perhaps power is not everything”

“…”

“Truth is…power, vengeance, anger…they are just distractions. You cling onto them because they distract you from your guilt. You do what you do, to live the lie you so desperately tell yourself!”

A terrible chuckle bubble from Loki’s throat; interrupting Odin. Loki has had enough listening to this ‘oh-so- _knowing_ ’ fool!

“I give it to you Allfather. A very interesting story indeed…truth weaving with lies. And so full of _sentiments_ ” Loki lifted his gaze finally. A gaze full of hatred.

Odin was unfazed.

“You may believe yourself beyond redemption. You may believe yourself to be a monster and you may believe that monsters do not deserve sympathy…but there is a part of you that wants to be saved” Odin said. “You want Thor to save you and he will, if you let him”

That made Loki angry, his face twisted at once into something ugly.

“Silence!” He screamed, standing to his feet, towering over Odin. “You speak as if you care for me. But you do not! You want me to stop. You want to save Asgard and I commend you on your effort! But I tell you this, be it Iduun’s apple! Be it Holy water! They cannot save Asgard! I will burn your kingdom down and when I do…no lake, no river, can put the fire out!” Loki spat; his teeth bear at the manipulative Aesir King.

“Is that your answer?”

Loki laughed. “Tell me. What sort of an end to this tale of love were you expecting Odin Allfather?!”

“I thought that perhaps there could be peace at last between our realms” Odin said, standing to his feet. Those twinkling eyes never left Loki’s face, unsettling the Jotun.

“Then you are a fool” Loki said.

“You will lose even if you do not fall this night” Without warning Odin shoved Loki hard.

Loki stumbled, and all at once he was falling and falling, the ground disappeared beneath his feet, pristine whiteness crumbling and black fires burned. Odin was gone, everything was gone.

Fear struck

 _“_ _Hello father!”_ Hela shrilled. Familiar wails and moans echoed and resonated.

Loki smacked down on a damp surface and before he could even think, hundreds of bony hands and arms burst forth from beneath him, around him and they grabbed at him.

Loki screamed, jolting himself awake into the darkness of the healing room. His entire body drenched in sweat. But that is not all. His seid was flaring and crackling violently, tearing, surging through his veins in wild abandon and he could feel the vicious tug in his mind.

Odin was fighting him.

Bastard!

Loki hissed, stumbling at once out of bed, his shaky feet gave way and he collapse painfully on the ground. A gasped escaped his lips, his chest heaved as he scanned the darkened healing room.

Pain spiked.

“Argh!” Loki’s fingers flew to grip his messy locks in mounting fear and pain.

Rush of cerulean surged and retracted over his pastel skin as if they were at war with each other. His head ached, split in agony as Odin wrenched and tug.

Vision of Hel flashed! Hela’s terrifying eyes! Her laughter growing louder and louder.

The Old King was slipping free, unraveling, tearing through Loki’s binding and it was shattering his mind without even a hint of mercy, forcing the dark seid in his vein to burn him at a terrifying speed.

The bastard had been bidding his time, growing stronger and stronger.

Loki let out a terrible cry. His fingers reached to grab his sweaty sheets, forcing himself to his feet.

It ends now!

 

 

* * *

 

 

The great hall was more lovely and splendid than all the other nights but Thor saw none of that. The best wine and mead tasted of ash on his tongue. He tried none of the food. He smile and nod, speaking only when spoken to and he would dance with no one.

The hour draws near.

He leaned against the window frame with a goblet in his hand as the Lord and Ladies danced to their hearts content.

He had refused as kindly as he could to honor Vigdis, Elise and Jarnsaxa the dance they seek. Vigdis had tried to console him, to perhaps sooth the troubles of his mind or whatever it was that she seeks to do; Thor did not care much for it. But at the very least he did apologize to her for having the guards turn her away when she sought to visit him in the healing room earlier.

It wasn’t that Thor did not appreciate her concern, but he did not wish to see anyone but Loki then.

“The more observant had noticed that the King isn’t enjoying himself” Frigga came towards him.

Thor chuckled. “Merrymaking can often be more tedious than battles or even ruling”

“Perhaps you are doing it wrong”

“Aye. Perhaps” Cerulean eyes looked towards the Queen.

She smiles, joining him.

Her gaze drifted over the room. At the pretentious smiles on the face of their guests as hollow laughter, honeyed words and lies were surely being whispered beneath the splendid music.

“They whisper” Frigga said.

“What do they say now?”

“That the King has been bewitched”

“And they are right” Thor looked down at the half drank goblet in his hand.

“So why?” Frigga asked quietly. “Why do you insist on denying what it is you desire? Or do you choose him after all?”

“No” Thor placed his goblet down by the window. “I will not choose him even if all of Asgard would accept him”

“But you do love him?”

“More than anything”

“Then why? What are you afraid of?”

Before Thor could answer, the alarm shrieked deafeningly.

The guest gasped and shrieked.

“Loki…” Thor knew. His blood ran cold.

 

 

* * *

 

       

Thunders cracked, lightning ripped through the skies and rain poured, beating down hard on the stony grounds and the heavy armors of warriors. Bells ranged, torches were light; guards shouted and raced through the cities in such numbers and fury in search for the monster that it frightened the people.

Thor stood numbly at the threshold of his father’s bloodied chamber with his men standing behind him, as he took in the scene of massacre that was not unlike the ones in the halls leading here.

They had been too late. The walls were scorched or melted; the guards were dead…all of them, burnt; fighting to protect his father.

“Bragi… Tell the Queen…tell her…that my father…” Thor did not need to finish. Bragi understood.

“Yes my King” He bowed.

But Thor did not hear him, nor did he hear him command the guards to give him privacy, nor did he hear him order the city gates be sealed, the bifrost to be close immediately. None of it matters…

Thor approached his father who lay beneath a veil of shimmering gold.

An ice blade protruded from his chest, a clean kill Thor knew, before Loki hacked off and took the old king’s head.

“Father…” Thor gritted, his jaws were tight. His fingers twisted so hard against the bloody sheets that his knuckles were white. “Forgive me…”


	20. Bleeding Hearts

The world was on fire, blood flowing down the dirty, grimy street like a stream. Bodies, they were everywhere. Screams echoed ever loudly, filling Laufey’s ears, filling the entirety of his mind. Children were weeping and being slaughtered mercilessly. Mothers were screaming as their babies were ripped from their arm and killed. His men, dying; all falling like flies one after another, beneath the blows of Aesir axes and hammers.

He screamed as he fended of crashing hammers with his cracking blade. His hands were bleeding, his muscles were aching and no matter how hard he tried to protect his people he failed, over and over again.

“Laufey!” There was a scream that curdled his blood.

He slammed his heels into his enemy and toppled him. Whirling around, he saw Farbauti on the ground, clutching his bloodied abdomen. Another faceless, nameless Aesir stood behind his Queen.

“No!” He screamed.

Mangy, rotted bony hands burst from the ground beneath and grabbed at his feet as he ran. Stomping down, cracking and snapping bones.

“Save me…help me…Laufey!” Farbauti sobbed; blood pouring from his lips as the Aesir raised his hammer.

“No! No! Stop!”

He tripped and fell. Bloodied bony fingers flew to latch cruelly at his arms, his legs. Their horrid nails dug into his aching skin and tear at him as he struggled. And he knew not knowing how that they were mocking him, playing with him and that they could so easily tear him apart and destroy him but they didn’t, because they derive pleasure and satisfaction from his agony and anguish.

He wrenched one arm limb free only to be caught again by a dozen cruel hands. He fought and he fought, his wild gaze sweeping desperately to Farbauti as the Aesir smashed Farbauti’s head beneath his powerful hammer.

Laufey would have screamed if he could, he would have wept if he could at the horror before him.

Then with a deafening crack through the ice, nails latched brutally at his throat. When he looked down, he could see the cold dead face of his people, looking at him through the ice, with eyes wide and blood dribbling from those gaping lips black as the abyss.

Laufey roared; ice dagger bloomed from his right hand, striking out, he knocked over the bedside table with a crash.

Pinching fingers gripped his wrist and wrestled him down. Laufey screamed and struggled.

“Laufey!” Strong hand knocked his blade out of his hand.

Laufey cried, whirling around to be met by a pair of familiar eyes. Farbauti was sitting by him along the bed, staring at him with concern. Laufey panted; his heart beating harshly against his chest.

“Do not fear” Farbauti said gently. “You are safe”

“Forgive me…” Laufey pushed himself up to sit, his head was pounding. He wipes a shaky hand down his face in exhaustion.

His dreams have been cold of late. He’d seen his people die a million times. He’d seen Farbauti dead, with his child carved out of his belly. He’d seen Loki raped, stabbed and killed, Helblindi and Byleistr tortured and burn, screaming for him to save them.

“What… what is it…?” Laufey asked when Farbauti continue looking at him. “Is Thrym al-”

“He lives still. Fear not” Farbauti said, trying his best to keep any annoyance out of his voice. He did not want to antagonize Laufey further. Laufey’s undying devotion for that man would forever sit sourly with him. “But I’ve brought you another news” He continued.

“Aye”

“Loki has returned”

The words that left Farbauti lips were ones Laufey had longed to hear, and all at once, feared to hear. Farbauti must have seen his fears, brief as it was before he masked it but he must have seen it.

“Wh-where is he now? Is he alright?” Laufey meant to get off the bed when Farbauti stopped him.

“He is alright. It is you that I fear for”

Farbauti scooted closer to him. He lifted his fingers to take Laufey’s slender face in his hard hands.

“My King…” He rests his forehead against Laufey’s. “My mate… Forgive me for I know not how to comfort you when you are hurting. Forgive me for I know not how to chase your fears away. But I swear to you, I will not let you come to harm”

“I do not fear death. I do not fear harm or pain” Laufey said, caressing Farbauti’s horn that curled towards the side of his head. “I fear for you. For our children. For our people”  

“Is that why you fear to sleep? Is that what plagues you every night?”

“Aye”

Farbauti smile, pulling back slightly to gaze upon Laufey’s scarlet eyes.

“Victorious or not…we will survive…” Farbauti brought Laufey’s hand to the slight bulge over his abdomen. “And you will see this child grow”

Laufey smile, his fingers mischievously trailing downwards. Farbauti laughs, shoving him back.

“Come on” Laufey teased.

“If you can be quick” Farbauti said.

“Why the rush?”

“Loki demands an audience with the full court in an hour. You wouldn't want to be late”

“An audience at this hour?!”

“Aye”

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was not more than an hour later that Laufey found himself sitting upon his throne of ice and steel with the entirety of his bustling court. Torches were lit along the walls, illuminating the darkened hall. Farbauti and Lord Tyr stood on either side of his throne.

“I’ve asked the guards who receive him at the gates” Tyr whispered. “They say he carries a _gift_ with him. Wrapped in bloodied cloth and smelt of death”

“I know” Laufey said.

“Perhaps we should have a private audience?” Farbauti asked.

“Loki demands this, and you know he will not be denied”

“Aye. But we know not what he will say”

“The dice has already been cast if this _gift_ is as we feared. So let him speak as he will” Laufey raised his hand, silencing the court in an instant.

“Norn help us all” Tyr whispered.

“Let him in” Laufey commanded.

The ornate door creaked open with a resounding boom. Harsh silence descended upon the hall, as the soft steps of boots sliced through the hall in a deafening thud. Loki glided in, and in his arms was a rounded bulk wrapped in black velvet. The scent of death, the scent blood and decaying flesh were at once plain.

Whispers filled the hall once again. But with a glance from those merciless red eyes, warriors were cowed, tongued stilled and the lesser Lords of the court shrunk back into the shadows. Loki sneered at the cowards and fools.

The golden chains strapped to his hips clinked.

A hundred pairs of scarlet eyes followed the ill omen prince, bowing as he passed as if fearing that they would be cursed without these pretentious acts of admiration. Loki paid them no mind as he walked fearlessly down the long sprawling hall.

Laufey stilled, straightening up from where he sat as he watched his first born.

Loki wore a cloak of raven feathers as if a raven that heralded news of ill omen. His long black locks were combed neatly back, with gems weaved into that silken darkness. The golden chains that adorned his furs clinked as he came to a halt before his King and dam. Those scarlet eyes that bore into Laufey were as cold as it had ever been.

The restrained excitement and anticipation in the atmosphere was almost tangible. All eyes was upon them.

“This is the audience you seek” Laufey said.

“Yes my King. And I thank you for your generosity”

“Speak then”

Loki smiled, letting his scarlet gaze graze over the entire court.

“My brethren…I seek only to bring you hope and a future. I seek only to prosper you and not to harm you, and for that, I have brought back to you the Casket of Winter have I not?” Loki turns back to Laufey. “And now I bring you yet another gift!”

With a move, he held the end of the velvet cloth, and cast its content across the court. The head of Odin Allfather smacked the ice covered ground with a thud and rolled to a halt before Laufey. Blood smeared across the silvery floor.

At once the entire court broke into an uproar of excitement, joy and horror. For a moment, Laufey could only stare at the pale face of his enemy.

“The head of Odin Allfather!” Loki declared over the roaring noise.

 _“What have you done?!”_ Someone screamed over the deafening crowd. 

 _“Silence you fool!”_ Shouted another 

_“You bring us war!”_

_"The tyrant is dead!”_

_“They will slew us all! This is folly!”_

_“You coward! And you dare call yourself a warrior?!”_

The entire court was descending into chaos as Jotuns scream at each other.

“Order! Order!” Tyr bellowed, trying and failing to calm the crowd.

Laufey stood to his feet, for a brief moment he saw fear and uncertainty in Loki’s face and in that moment he was once again a child, desperate for recognition in the face of contempt. For that brief moment before the cold mask of indifference slips back in place Laufey had seen his true face and it hurts him. And all at once, he wanted to give to Loki the entire world.

“Order!” Laufey thundered, raising his hand over the chaos.

The crowd calmed.

There is no turning back now Laufey knew. What peace the two realms had shared over a thousand years had been shattered the moment Loki decided to ornament his court with the Allfather’s head. The wrath of Asgard is a terrifying thing. Jotunheim will be wiped out this time if the Aesirs are not brought to their knees.

Loki will have his war.  

“You have been accused of bringing us war and death” Laufey said. “What do you say to that?”

“I say that I will deliver you! I say that I have gone before you and made a way for you! I say that I will bring to you life, and life in abundance!” Loki declared.

The crowd murmured, growing louder and louder once again.

“I tell you my brethren! I have seen a realm carved out of pure gold and gem. I have seen a realm flowing with milk and honey, where the greens grow in overabundance and the animals are as plentiful as the snow beyond our walls. I have seen a realm full of magic and wonders beyond your wildest dream! A realm where children could play and laugh and grow to have children of their own! A realm where plague and death will never touch you! And I will give her to you!”

The crowd cheered.

Malekith smirked.

“Have I not given you the head of the tyrant who humiliated us, who slew our people and burn our cities?! Have I not given you the Casket of Winter that was robbed of us?! Have I not proven that I am not just words?! Have I not proven that I do not just speak of revenge, but I deliver it?!” Loki was no longer looking at Laufey as he spoke over the cheering crowd. “So I tell you now, I will not just speak of Aesir blood, I will deliver them to you! I will not just speak of Asgard’s glory; I will give her to you! Fight with me! And Asgard will be yours!”

“Long live Prince Loki!” Someone bellowed over the thundering crowd and in the next heartbeat a hundred voices took up the same chant.

Fears, doubts, logic were no more and only the name of the one God who will rain down chaos and destruction, who will litter the universe with the bodies of deities, who will turn gold into ash and uproot Yggdrasil herself if that was what it took to stand above all, remained.

“ _Loki!” "_ _Loki!”_   They chanted loudly, drowning out the angry words of faithless heathens. _“Loki!” “Loki!” “Loki!”_

“I will give you a realm of gold! I will give you a valley of abundance! I will give you a future! And I will give you victory!” Loki roared. “For if I am with you who could ever stand against you!”

 _“_ _Loki!” “Loki!”_

Laufey watched silently from his throne as Loki was bath at long last in the admiration that he had always craved.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thunder roared, lightning flashed across the skies and the rain poured, beating down hard on the mud covered ground as if someone had tore the heavens apart. The ground tremble and groan, and trees were uprooted from the sheer might of the hurricane that ripped through its plain.

Thor sat silently in his work chamber, a thousand thoughts dashing through his mind anguished mind. Simply the thought of his father’s death was enough to make him weep, but yet, he had not shed even a single tear. His rage and his grief froze hard inside of him.

He is the King of Asgard. He is the symbol of strength and power for his people. He will not and cannot crumble now.

The Jotuns have made their move. This is the perfect excuse for Asgard to destroy them utterly and completely without looking like the aggressor realm. Isn’t this what he had hoped for from the beginning when he had kept Loki alive on Asgard? An excuse to utterly destroy the Jotuns? Since when had he changed his mind about those savage beasts?

Thor tightened his jaws as he stood to his feet. He has a duty to do. A realm to lead, a war to fight, a victory to claim and a vengeance to be paid with interest.

The thunderstorm raged ever fiercely beyond Thor’s golden walls. When the heavy doors leading to the throne room groaned open, a harsh silence descended. 

The crowd parted as Thor entered with Gungnir in his battle hardened hand. The soft click of his boots resonated. All eyes were upon him, but he saw none of them as he walked up the dais and stood before his throne.

Sorcerers hurried to his side to cast an enchantment so that all of Asgard may hear his voice. So that he may speak to the soldiers in the field and yard and those in their barracks, the servants in the halls, and the people of Asgard in their homes and those that had gathered outside the castle walls.

Cerulean gaze, graze over the full audience before him. The rain weeps in his place and the sky screams with his rage, as he stands calmly before his golden throne.

Hadn't he always known the ending to this tale from the very beginning?

“Today will be a day that will be remembered as a day of atrocity” Thor spoke, his hard voice echoed through the entire realm. “Mere hours ago, the Crown Prince of Jotunheim, Loki Laufeyjarson, has slain my father, in cold blood where he lies unarmed and defenseless. For over a thousand years, Asgard, under the reign of my father, has shown mercy and compassion to the realm of Jotunheim. For over a thousand years we have given them peace. For over a thousand years we have shown them mercy! And _this_ is how Jotunheim has repaid us. With the head of my father. Your King”

There was a sob from the audience.

“It is my father’s mercy that kills him. It is my mercy to allow a Jotun in our midst when I knew better that has brought this anguish upon us. And for that I am deeply sorry” Thor said. “I cannot give life to the dead nor can I undo the wrong that my folly has caused. But I give you my word that this atrocity will not go unanswered. As of now, we are at war with Jotunheim. My armies are prepared. We will move once I have paid my father the respect he deserves and send him into the next world in a blaze of flame. I cannot promise you a short war. I cannot promise you a war with no innocent death. I cannot promise you gold and silver. I cannot promise you a time of plenty from this point forth. But I give you my words that my warriors and I will not stop until we have their surrender no matter how long it takes. I give you my words that my warriors and I will not stop, until we have put every last one of them in chains or we will blaze every inch of that forsaken realm of ice to the ground. And I give you my words that I will make them pay for what they have done to us!”

Silence descended once again when Thor had finished and for a moment, all that could be heard were the deafening crash of thunder and the hard pounding of rain.

Then one by one, and then the whole mass, from the highest of noblemen in the throne room, to the most fearless of warriors and armies in the field and yard, to the commoners beyond the walls and the lowliest of pheasant on the street, they knelt.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki stops Malekith just before they enter the meeting room.

Malekith grinned.

“Betray me and I will kill you” Loki warned.

“You will have your seat in which to watch Asgard burn, Jotun” Malekith said. “You have given me a great gift. I will not forget”

Loki snorted. “Shall we then” He showed Malekith into the meeting room.

The cheering in the throne room was one thing, but the scene in the war council immediately after was completely another. The councils were ready to crucify and burn the ill omen prince where he stood, but Laufey silenced them all with a glare.

Beyond the private doors of the royal quarters, Laufey is a hard man and a harder King, sometimes much harder than he needs to be. He will tolerate no slights or challenges. And when he speaks in the council, all would heed his words without question. All but Thrym that is.

“Where is Lord Thrym?” Loki asked.

The question sliced through the silent room like a burning blade through flesh. No one dared speak a word and even the Queen was silent.

“He is unwell” Laufey looked at him.

Loki blinked.

_Unwell?_

With Thrym’s overall personality, the man would need to be _extremely_ _unwell_ to not turn up when he will be the star of the meeting, but he did not push the question.

“And my brothers?”

“They are occupied” Laufey stated. “I ask that you pay them no mind. We will proceed”

Loki paused. Something is definitely wrong.

“Is there a problem?” Laufey asked.

“No my King” Loki said hurriedly.

There is no reason to stop this meeting simply for a few absentees. They do not have the leisure of time.

He rolled the map of Asgard across the large table. It was a large piece of old leather with faded lines. The edges were tattered and worn and the paint closest to the sides had faded into nothing. Weights were placed over six points of the leather to keep it flat upon the table.

Malekith leans closer to survey the faded map. And so they begin.

Loki spoke and they listened. Without Thrym, not many dared challenge his plan once Laufey bid for him to start. Over the hour, Loki spared glances at Laufey, trying and failing to understand what could possibly be going on in his dam’s head. While it is true that Laufey generally prefer to listen before he speaks, this long silence was uncharacteristic even for him. It was as if Laufey had all but handed the control of Jotunheim’s entire military forces to Loki.

Farbauti and Lord Tyr questioned him on several points while Malekith argued the most but he was nowhere as sharp of tongue as Lord Thrym would have been. And not even one of the council men dared contradict him much which meant that the entire meeting was over much sooner than Loki had expected and Malekith’s first Kamikaze fleet would be ready to depart at first light while Lord Tyr mobilize the citizens in the ice city to evacuate underground for safety. Who knows when those savages would come.

The council was starting to fill out when Laufey stopped him.

“Loki. Stay” Laufey said.

Loki hung back, reaching towards the metallic wine jug sitting on the side of the table and pour himself measure as he waited till the last of those shuffling feet was gone and the door had finally snapped shut, leaving them alone.

“I see sire is with child” Loki said.

“Aye” Laufey seated himself.

“Congratulation is in order then. But do you really think now is the best time for a child to come into this world?”

“It was unplanned. A surprise”

“Ah…I understand” Loki took a sip of his wine as if he understood all there is to know about accidental children.

A flicker of displeasure flashed over Laufey’s eyes but he said nothing to it. Only Loki would ever speak or hinted of that child he slaughtered in any way or form. It was a foul act that Laufey much prefer to forget.

“I notice you seem very agreeable with my plan” Loki went on.

“I see nothing wrong with it”

“I’m glad you approve. But are you sure you have naught to add?”

“Your plan is good and well thought out”

Loki turns to regard Laufey intently. He had been expecting Laufey to chastise him in some form or way. Laufey has always been very accommodating to him, but this is starting to seem ridiculous.

He had snuck away to Asgard without a word and while it was not unusual for him to sneak into another realm, surely sneaking into Asgard and robbing its vault was something. Or if that was a no big deal in the world of Laufey, then what of this war he had sought? Thousands upon thousands of life will surely be loss before this is over. Laufey is cold and ruthless when he is on the battlefield yes, but Laufey had never struck Loki as the blood thirsty sort that would sacrifice life without batting an eye lid. At least not when hidden away from public eyes. Surely Laufey would have something to say about that.

“Why do you look at me that way?” Laufey asked.

“What way?”

“As if you expect me to strike your hand for being a naughty child”

“Are you not going to?”

“If only I could” Laufey sighed. “If only you were still a child, I would send you away from the horrors of war so that you would never be tainted by its sight. If only you were a child, I would wrap you in my arms, so that you will never come to harm. But even as I say all this to you, I still wish I could protect you from all the terrors and brutality of this world. I wish I could protect you from everything. For Loki Laufeyjarson, my first born and heir…I only ever have to look at you to remember the day you came into this world, purple face and squalling your little lungs off as I held you close to my chest and I called you the treasure of Jotunheim”

For a moment Loki did not know what to say. He was startled speechless by Laufey’s words. He looked down at his goblet, swirling the crimson liquid. His fingers tightened.

“If I were a child… the only monster would be the ones hidden beneath my bed…” He muttered. “You cannot protect me from this monster that stands before me in the mirror or the monsters that awaits me in the depths of Hel. You cannot protect me from my fate”

“I can try”

“…”

“I will fight for you. I will kill for you. I will die for you and in your place if I could”

Loki shrugged, placing the goblet down. “Is this all the business you have with me?”

Laufey’s jaws tightened at Loki’s casual dismissal, his fingers curled. He wanted to say more. But he knew he’d just be wasting his time. Loki sees only those that he wished to see. Hears only those he wishes to hear.

Loki poured himself another goblet of wine.

“No” Laufey sighs.

“Then speak your business”

“I have need of your seid if you will indulge me”

“With all the sorcerers in the entire realm at your disposal and you have waited for me? This must either be a grave or humiliating matter indeed. Surely it couldn’t be troubles in the bed chamber” Loki teased.

Laufey did not even crack a smile.

“Follow me” He rose to his feet.

Loki finished his wine with a gulp and crossed the room to where his dam was waiting for him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

By the time Thor came to his father, Odin had been cleaned and bathed with scented water. A large piece of white cloth was placed over the severed neck and he was garbed in pristine white robes.

Frigga sat by her husband’s bed, holding his hands, caressing over his rough knuckles. Her eyes were red and puffy. Pain, grief and rage edged into every line of her face.

And Baldur, little Baldur…he stood on the other side of the bed and simply looked at his father. The light and innocence in his eyes have vanished. And in place was a very adult pain and anger that was so wrong in a child’s eyes. Baldur blame him he could tell. Baldur hated him he could tell.

And Thor knew he deserves it.

“Is the army ready?” Frigga spoke suddenly.

She was trying to be strong; as strong as a Queen should be. A Queen is not just a pretty face. A Queen is a sorceress, a warrior second only to her King. She is to be her King’s last defense when the enemies have broken down the walls. She is to be her King’s last defense when all the guards had been slain; and she had failed. She had not been there for him when he needed her the most.

“The armies are ready” Thor said. “You should rest”

“No. I will stay with him” Frigga said quietly, letting her fingers caress his icy hand.

Tears burnt anew at the back of her eyes and tried as she might to hold it back, she could not. She wept in grief, she wept in pain. She lowered her aching head and brought her fingers to swipe the uncontrollable tears away.

“Mother” Thor was at once at her side; a hand lid gently over her shoulder.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki walked down the darkened halls with his dam much like old times when he was still a child. Mist and smoke swirled beneath their feet, rising and curling against the wall.

Back when he was a child, Jotunheim’s hall frightened him and he was so convinced at one point that the fortress herself was alive.

There was the chilling breeze that breathe down the narrow path, snuffing the torches with a sigh, and the groans that would follow him down the darkened hall. Shadows were every where, and on some nights, the statues would frighten him. Then there were the little sharp icicles that framed the pointed arch that connected one corridor to another; giving the distinct impression that he was imprisoned in a trap.

But as it turns out, Loki had not been too far off. Laufey’s fortress is indeed a trap for all who dares stomp it. And it is alive under Laufey’s command. The ice is his to command, to kill and to trap; to shape and morphed as he pleases. A true prison of ice; a maze without an escape should Laufey wished it.

Dim torches flickered as they passed. It did not take Loki long to realize that they were headed for the healing room, but even so, nothing could have prepared him for what he saw.

Thrym…

“Leave us” Laufey commanded the healers.

Thrym’s family had left the moment they were asked to evacuate into the tunnels. Thrym’s family did not love him. Thrym’s family did not care for him beyond the gold he could provide.

His mate could barely tolerate him for she could not accept that Thrym’s heart would never wholly be hers. And for that she had taught their children to loath Thrym, taught their children to shame Thrym for his rumored ‘infidelity’. But even so, Thrym had held nothing but love for them. And love in abundance.

This Laufey knows. Which was why he had summoned them. They would not have come otherwise.

“What happen?” Loki asked when they were finally alone.

“Fenrir…” One word was all that was needed.

Loki steps closer towards the bed where Thrym lay motionless as if he were asleep. Loki though, was not to be fooled. The healers may have patched Thrym up; clean him, and perhaps even place a touch of make up over his swollen face to spare their King from the true hopelessness of his wounds; but the hideous stench of blood and festering flesh that clung to the room told Loki the true extent of his injuries beneath the covers.

Thrym’s injuries were well beyond the healer’s scale.

 _“By right he should be dead”_ Loki thought.

“I don’t think he is ready…” Laufey said.

Loki placed a hand over Thrym’s sweaty head. Then he closed his eyes and whispered an enchantment in his mind. Gentle heat flowed from his arm to the very tip of his fingers and then into Thrym. He lets his seid flow, trickling over the punctured lungs, the broken ribs, the crushed liver and torn intestine. He lets his seid seep into Thrym’s poisoned blood, festering wounds and decaying flesh.

Thrym was ripped apart from chest to groin.

Then he opens his eyes and pulls away.

“Will he be alright now?” Laufey asked. A tinge of desperation in his tone.

A heartbeat became two, Loki turns to look at his dam; his expression was unreadable and his eyes were void of any emotion.

“I cannot save him” Loki said.

Laufey stilled. The words twisted in his guts like a knife. For a brief moment, no thought pass his mind and then there was fear, then anger.

“Kill him” Loki said.

“No! He is not ready”

“No one is ready for death”

“I am not ready”

“Cease his suffering” Loki looked at Thrym. “Say goodbye”

“Not today! Not now!” Laufey cried. His chest tightened in pain. A pain that suffocates him and makes it hard to breathe. “No!” He upending the small table by Thrym’s bed; smashing the ornate vase.

 _"He clings on because of you…”_ Loki knew, as he watched his dam without a single shred of pity or compassion or sadness on his face; and nor did he reach out to comfort his dam. He simply stood there.

And Laufey found that he wanted to rage at him.

“No” Laufey gritted.

“Then how long more until you are ready?” Loki asked. “A month, a year, a thousand years…you will never be ready”

“Get out!” He bellowed.

“As you command”

Loki reached one last time to touch Thyrm’s face with a gentleness that seems so at odds with his cruel words and he leans down to kiss Thrym over his sweaty brows. _“You don’t ever have to forgive me, but I swear to you, I will protect him. I will protect them. I will protect this realm in your place…It’s alright to let go. You've given enough. You've done enough”_

Loki straightened up beneath his dam’s vicious glare.

“I will take my leave” Loki bowed.

At the door he saw his dam pulls a chair to sit beside Thrym. Anguish and grief were so clear on Laufey's face. Loki looked away and shuts the door, giving Laufey and Thrym the privacy they need.

“Your dam grieves. He did not mean to shout at you” Said a voice.

Loki turns to Farbauti who sat a little way down the hall.

“Will you wait for him?” Loki asked.

“Aye” Farbauti turns to look at him with weary eyes. “I will never leave him to grief alone”

Before first light, they know that Laufey will kill Thrym. A war is coming. They have naught healers or resources to waste on a doomed man that lives from sheer will alone.

"A place has been prepared in the tomb. Your dam would want him there" Farbauti said. 

"Dam would never command it. It is an insult to you if he-"  _  
_

"I know" Farbauti knows that Laufey would never dishonor his Queen in such a way. "Which is why I command it be done" 

The sacred tomb was the burial place for royalties. The others would simply be cast down into the great cliff face. From ice they are born, and to ice, they will return. Even a celebrated General would never have a place in that sacred tomb. But Thrym would. Farbauti didn't need to like him to know that Thyrm was more family than not.  

Some had wondered if Farbauti have no dignity or pride, that he would stand by Laufey even when he knew that Laufey would never be wholly his. Some too had wondered if Laufey have no shame or honor, to dare desire for another when he was mated as was his duty.

Loki had always thought his dam and sire sentimental fools, to be taken by something so pathetic.

But he understands a little now.

What is shame or honor compared to the smile and laughter of your beloved? What is dignity or pride when compared to the warmth of your beloved or the thousands of little moments and cherished memories that you have shared together? They are but words…a whisper in the wind.

Without another word, Loki headed down the corridor and down more winding steps. Weariness was deep in Loki’s bones. He was still recovering from that poisoning, but it matters not to him.

By the time he was down at the courtyard, tears of anger were rolling down his face. The ferocious wind howls and screams into the night and bellowed his raven feathered cloak and silken locks.

Malekith’s kamikaze fleet are preparing in a distance. A thousand torches were alight in the city below as the citizens evacuate underground.

Those in the Northern region of Jotunheim though should be safe. The wind was much stronger there, the temperature cold enough to blister Aesir skin. And the Jotun armies will sooner wed Hela, the Queen of Death than let a single Aesir warrior pass beyond the ice city that would soon be morphed into a death trap much like Laufey’s fortress.

Fenrir heard the sharp creak of the iron gates and the clinks of Loki’s golden chains before he saw Loki crossing the yard. He raised his head as Loki appears through the mist.

_“Ah…to what do I owe this pleasure”_

“Who send you after Lord Thrym?” Loki asked. His voice was quiet but deadly.

Fenrir tilted his head mockingly. _“Why…with that look on your face…I’d think you cared about him”_

“Who send you Fenrir?”

_“Wouldn't you like to know”_

Loki hissed. At once, a hundred black iron chains burst from the ground.

Fenrir leaps to his feet too late. The cruel chains pierced his skin, seized his bony legs, his body and neck. He snarled; struggled and snapped at the unbreakable chains. Hauled and tugged in agony as they wound around him tighter and tighter like a python, until it creak his bones and sliced deep into his bloody flesh.

The rattles of heavy chains, the groans of cracking ice and the ear splitting yelp sliced through the murmuring night. With a flick of Loki’s fingers, the great chains hauled Fenrir down with a mighty crash.

Loki steps closer. His scarlet eyes were absolutely merciless.

 _“Dam!”_ Fenrir cried in fear and agony. The chains continue to tighten about his neck.

“Do not mock me Fenrir” Loki whispered dangerously.

 _“Dam stop!”_ Fenrir whimpered.

Loki stops the chains from constricting as he stood before Fenrir’s massive head.

“I will ask you again. Who send you?”

 _“Helblindi”_     

 

 

* * *

 

 

The clouds were thick and thunders rumbled. Thor stood at the front of Odin’s entire court with his mother on his right and his brother on his left as they watch the boat that carried Odin sail away, carrying his father, his King into the next world.

Frigga watched the ship sail further and further away, tears threatening to spill again but she held it back. She needed to be strong. She needed to be strong for her sons, for the realm Odin loves so much, and the war that is to come.

Enough tears had been shed last night when she sat by Odin. 

The thousands of little memories over five thousand years…from mere children to being his Queen, from the first night of their wedding, to the birth and death of their first born son, to the arrival of Thor, Odin’s bastard and the birth of Baldur her second, to the first time Odin had taught her to ride a horse and the silly little jokes they would share in their cups; she remembers them...

She remembers him as a boy struggling to impress her. She remembers him as a boy scaling the high walls of her home to sneak into her room to visit her. She remembers the long sleepless night where they would just talk and sometimes a little more.

She remembers him defending her from Bor when the King disapproves of their marriage for she was merely a highborn lady and not those of royal blood.

She remembers her fury when Odin had brought Thor home to her. She remembers her sadness when Vali dies. She remembers her joy when Baldur was born....she remembers them all. The good and the bad, and if she had known all of this in her youth, she still would not have traded him for anyone else or for another life.

She took Thor’s hand in her own, her chest ached terribly.

It was time…

Thor looked over at Bragi and gave a nod to signal for the man to light the arrow in his hand afire.

Bragi dipped the tip of the arrow in oil and lit it.

The crowd behind them knelt. The Kings and Queens of the other realm bowed to give their last respect as Bragi raised his bow and flaming arrow.

The fire flickered wildly as the wind blew viciously. Bragi pulled and suddenly the alarms shrieked.

The crowd gasped in horror and before Thor could even react, the first blast of fire fell from the sky.   


	21. A New Age

\-- _West of Asgard's Capital_ \--

The blasts and explosions were deafening; screams of pain, of agony and of anger roared from every direction, closing in and consuming Thor even as he smashed his hammer through skulls.

Rain, blood and sweat trickled down his bloody face. Thunders roared, lightning streaked through the skies and struck the earth, making everything tremble. Flying ships were brought down with a mighty crash and fire…there was fire everywhere. The ground was slippery with mud and blood; bodies were piling everywhere and crunching beneath heavy boots.

The Dark elves kept coming without end and they kept fighting, pushing back and being pushed back.

In the heat of battle, every sight, every sound seems to blur into one another.

Burning elves fell from the skies, burning soldiers were shrieking in anguish, running blindly before they fell and moved no more. Men crumpled on the ground with half their guts spilled from their bodies and some fought even with their guts hanging out. Thor sees all of this but he felt nothing as he kills and slaughters one foe after another.

In the heat of battle, time seem to slow or even stop, the past and future seem to vanish until there is nothing but the instant. There is no fear, there is no mercy, there is no thought and there is no pain. You do not feel your wounds until you stop; you do not feel the exhaustion of your body until you stop. All that existed is the fight, the foe…

The bodies beneath his feet do not matter, the death all around him do not matter.

One day blurred into the next, one week into the next, and one month into the next and one year into the next. They fight and they push, until the Dark Elves would retreat from where they had taken captives. Or if they lose, they would regroup and start again. Surrender is never an option. And when shouts of victory would resonate, it was empty. Even as Thor sat down in his tent of animal skin in the night after a victory, there would be no joy.

Years passed, and though it hardly put a dent to Thor’s life spend, he found that he had not returned to the capital in close to a century. He had not laid eyes on the Golden City for close to a century.

Thor took a sip from his wineskin as he shuffles through the reports from the North and the Golden City.

Up North, it was said that wherever the Jotuns go, a shadow will envelope the land and snow would fall endlessly. The trees withered and die in the frigid cold that the Jotuns bring like a plague that eats away at all that is around them. They are currently a host of at least seventy thousand strong with Loki riding at the head of at least twenty thousand, while one of the brothers, Aphrodite incarnate apparently, took ten and Laufey took the rest.

Loki rides to battle on the back of a massive white dire wolf it was said.  Fire the image of a serpent would heed his command it was said. And with a wave of his hand, the ground would split as if to the depths of Hel and black fire would roar; foul creatures would crawl out from that despicable abyss at the command of that witch prince it was said. Thousands of dreadful flesh eating insects would eat Aesir soldiers alive as they shrieked in utter anguish. And the picture of corpses touch by Loki’s black seid was horrendous - bodies charred to blackness and the skin was drawn so tight around the skull it threatened to tear. Wide gapping mouth black as the abyss, and eyes opened so wide it was popping out of its place.

Pages after pages describing the horrors, the vileness of Loki’s sorcery sickened him; making the reports from the Golden City seems like a fairy tale in contrast. But he could not stop reading them and if there were no new reports of Loki, he would re-read the old, as if to carve every word, every vile image into the depths of his mind so that he would never forget them.

He wanted to know and remember all of Loki’s wickedness so that when he ends that monster, he will have the greatest satisfaction. Or so he tells himself.

In his dreams he has killed Loki a thousand times in cold blood and blind fury. In his dreams he has heard Loki scream a thousand times, and see the fear in his eyes. In his dreams he had crush that skull with his bare hands and watch Loki’s blood trickled down between his fingers. But not once did he find satisfaction in the act. Rather a pain that almost tore him apart, a pain worst than that of betrayal. A pain that wrenched him from his sleep with tears streaking down his face and sweat drenching his body.

He tosses the pile of paper onto his furs.

Flickering flames in the corner cast a muted light over his narrow tent. Shadows elongated and danced. He took the dripping cloth from the basin to his naked torso, wiping the filth of battle from his sore skin.

The pile of letters from his mother lay unopened beside him. He knew she misses him, he knew she wishes to see him…to hear from him at least. But Thor cold not bring himself to read or write. He is ashamed. He is unworthy.

The small fire at the edge of his tent crackled. He placed the cloth back into the basin and scooted closer along the furs.

He reached into a small leather pouch at his feet and threw the glittering powder into the flames. The golden flames burst and it was at once venom green. The image of Sif flickered in the fire.

“I heard of your victory” Sif’s voice whispered.

Thor tried to smile. “Victory in a battle does not win a war”

“Aye”

“Tell me of the situation up North. I have only the old reports”

Sif lowered her gaze, shaking her head.

“Sif…”

“It is not good” She muttered. “Fandral…he lost Eden City and her valleys”

At once Thor stilled, so it has finally happen. The Jotuns had taken over most of Northern towns and villages and several valleys, but never a major city…until now.

“I…we couldn’t reach him in time! Laufey! Laufey intercepted us when they were being attacked! We tried! But w-”

“Calm yourself Lady Sif” Thor said quietly, his fingers curled in mounting fury. Not at Sif…no...but at Loki.

When he first heard the report that the Jotuns had attacked in the North and their allies in the East, he had known what Loki had planned. The North and the East, they were Asgard’s main supply of food and raw materials. Those many nights Thor had let Loki accompany him in his work room, thinking nothing of it when Loki had looked over the agriculture documents; thinking nothing of it when Loki had looked over their imports.

Loki…Loki…

Everything Loki ever did was for the war. Every bit of information he learn, even the most menial of them all was use for the war.

Loki was going to starve them out if they could not win with brute strength Thor knew; but could do nothing about it. Just like he knew Loki was dangerous and still he could do naught about it when Loki choose to stroll about the Golden palace as if he owned the place. When Loki - _Stop!_   He tells himself fiercely. He needed to stop!

“Are there any survivals?” He asked.

“Most who escape ran into Laufey’s troops. Only a handful made it back to us”

“…”

“Forgive me. I should have done more! I -”

“Do not blame yourself” Thor said. “Tell me… are they still moving?”

“Laufey is, but they will go to Eden sooner or later. It would make sense when they start running low on supplies”

“…”

“We will get her back” Sif said. “It won’t be easy but we will”

“No”

“Thor. Eden is our biggest agriculture supply! Without her we would starve! We need Eden!”

  “…”

“Fandral is still in there!” Sif sounded desperate. “Thor…!”

“Hold your position. If they get pass you, there would at least be a hundred mile before there is another strategic point that will sway to our advantage. We still have the cities down East. It may not be enough, but we will make do” He said firmly.

“Are you surrendering the North?!”

“…”

“This is not you…”

“…”

“Thor!” 

“Enough!” Thor bellowed suddenly, startling her. “Your job is to make sure they move no lower than they have is that clear?!”

Silent fell between them. The fire crackled, the coal cracked apart, glowing red.

Thor lowered his gaze, wiping a hand down his tired face. He didn’t mean to shout. But he is just so tired, so exhausted and so so angry. Did Sif think any of this was easy on him?! Did Sif think he wanted to leave Fandral?! People are dying every day, and every drop of blood is on his hands.

He gave Loki all that the Jotun needed to know. He made this war possible when he chose to spare Loki’s life. And to think he had once considered Loki by his side as his Queen… He was such a fool!

“Report to me immediately when Laufey move to Eden” Thor ordered.

Sif’s lips tightened but she argued no more.

“Our priority is to protect those that we can” Thor tells her. “We will not defend the North anymore. Evacuate what lands that have not been taken, take what crops had been grown and the livestock…burn the rest to the ground. The farms, the homes… everything…Then retreat back to your position. If they want the North give them the North for now. Let them be the King of the ashes if they wish”

“As you command my King” She said.

“…”

“We will fight to the last Asgardian blood”

“Aye…” Thor muttered.

No realm would be coming to help Thor knew. In his naivety and anger he had burn all bridges.

In the first wave of attack when the bifrost was destroyed, Asgard’s allies have proven to be cravens and selfish bastards.

The Vanir had demanded Asgard to send them home at once. Bjorn will not fight. He will not risk the life of his people over a _petty feud_ between the Aesir and the Jotuns. It was not his fight he roared.

While it was not impossible to travel between realms without the bifrost, a great volume of seid was required. But he had allowed it instead of demanding him to honor the treaty between their realms.

He had commanded the sorceress of Asgard to send them home. He had thought, what right has he to demand foreign warriors to die on a realm not their own.

Then there were the Light Elves. They were magic users, and had no trouble seeing themselves home. One after another, they left until all that was left was the King of Muspelheim who had offered his army in exchange for Thor to wed his daughter. He then, grief-stricken and furious had declined. And that was that.

“Sif…” Thor murmured.

“My King”

“The war is far from over. Do not be hasty. I give you my word, we will take the North back before this is over” With a wave of Thor’s hand, the emerald flames return to gold.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The narrow room stunk of sweat, sickness and blood. Shouts and moans of agony filled the room as heavily wounded men were being dragged in, followed by a Jotun soldier who would come shouting for the next champion. Bloodied men with their chest ripped apart, those with their abdomen sliced open and entrails hanging out, those with a crushed skull, those with broken arms and legs…they were all laid around the dirty ground in the room and the dead were piled in a corner.

Fandral realize quickly that their armor isn't going to do a damn good if he was hit. If anything, it was just going to weigh him down and make it hard for him to move.

“Remove my armor” He ordered a man who stood close by him.

“Are you mad?!” The man cried.

“Possibly” Fandral flashed him a grin. “Now help me”

The man did as he was told as Fandral sat on the wooden bench.

Fandral coughed, his chest ached but he ignored it. He rubs his sore hands together in hope of getting feelings back to his numb fingers. His every muscle ached, his legs throbbed and his belly ached with hunger.

Months after months, they who had surrendered their weapons were made to work in the fields; harvesting crops for the Jotuns, and then ploughing the fields anew for the seeds that the Jotun had brought from their realm. They were worked to their bones, worked till they were ready to drop before being ushered into a fenced plot of land to bed down. The fire in the night was nowhere warm enough to put a dent to the cold that bites at their skin and festering wounds, the warm food provided was nowhere enough to fill their bellies.

And after so many months of hunger and exhaustion, a Jotun soldier had come over and told them that whosoever brave enough, could compete in a gladiator fight and that whosoever wins could ask a boon of Prince Loki.

Fandral could see this as a further scheme to demoralize the conquered soldiers, the High Lords and Ladies, the people in general who had surrendered.

How does a man or woman, half starve and exhausted win a one-on-one match against a Jotun warrior?

Jotuns as they all now know, are not so mindless a beast as Aesir warriors use to mock them to be in their cups. But many jump at the chance nevertheless. Perhaps out of desperation, or perhaps they seek to end their misery but having no courage to do so themselves, Fandral did not know, but Fandral had taken the offer because he knew was the best fighter and if anyone stood a chance it was him.

“Done” the man removed the armor, placing it on the ground with a loud clatter.

“Thank you good Ser” Fandral smiled.

“I hear you are one of Asgard’s best”

“You flatter me”

“I hope you kill the bastard” The man growled, just as the door burst open with yet another dead man.

“Next!” The Jotun behind shouted.

Fandral pushed himself up and clapped a hand over the man’s shoulder.

“Here!” He raised a hand.

The Jotun gave a grunt.

Giving the man a squeeze, Fandral followed guard down a dimly lit tunnel. He was brought over to a wooden table cluttered with a whole range of Asgardian weapon.

“Pick” The Jotun ordered.

Fandral let his fingers touch the handle of a long sword, but he immediately discarded the idea. A long sword may increase the distance between him and his opponent but with the size of an average Jotun, what distance a sword would put between them was pretty much redundant. Spears were no better either.

Then there was the war hammer. It was heavy and large; never his style and only a fool would think of pitting physical strength head first with a Jotun. But from the bloodied handle, it seems that there were a lot of fools before him.

In the end, Fandral pick a clean decent size blade. It was shorter than a sword and lighter.

“Interesting choice” The Jotun commented.

Fandral flash him a smile, picking up a metal shield if only to make himself feel better.

The moment he walked out of the dark tunnel, a massive wall of noise hits him.

A large Jotun was standing on the other side of the arena with a bloodied ice club in his hand. He was bulky and his muscles were large and tone. He had two golden rings pierced over his lower lips and seven on each of his ears. His long brown hair was tied back in a loose stylish braid.

The Jotun smirked.

Fandral lifted up his gaze to the coliseum packed full with Jotuns when a harsh silence falls over the entire place.

“My Lord of Aesir! Welcome!” A loud voice declared.

Fandral saw Loki standing at the front row, garbed in a cloak of raven feathers. His hair was chopped to his shoulder and he wore no jewels or ornaments upon his horns or hair, unlike in those days gone by in the palace. But he wore golden rings on each his fingers and studs on his ears. It was almost a century since Fandral had seen Loki this up close.

“My brethren! Look here before you! The greatest swordsmen of Asgard!” Loki declared.

The crowd snickered and laughed.

Fandral resisted the urge to look down at the pathetic state of his dirty clothes that was really underclothes than actual clothes. He has the Jotuns to thank for that; stripping him out of his armor and giving him nothing more.

Loki smirks, turning to Fandral. “Truly my Lord of Aesir, I fear not even my Lord General could be worthy to be your opponent”

“You flatter me your Grace”

“Merit is given where it is due! So, in honor of someone of your talent, I shall be your opponent!” Loki declared.

At once a rumble of whisper broke out through the entire place. Fandral could hardly believe his ears.

When Loki reached to unclasp his cloak, a hand stopped him.

“Brother no” Helblindi hissed.

Loki turns to him. “You do not think I will win?”

“That is not what I meant and there is not a single soul in this place that doubts your skill or your power” Helblindi said. “Let me take your place instead”

“So you mean to dishonor me?”

Helblindi stilled, then slowly, reluctantly, he retracting his hand. “No brother...I meant you no dishonor. I -”

“Stop it” Loki cuts. “You are my brother who stood by me always. Do not fear me like everyone else”

“...”

“If you wish to go in my stead then go”

Helblindi smiled.

Loki watches Helblindi enter the ring to replace Lord Tyr.

Though Loki had not gone personally, the crowd was wild nevertheless. Cheering and shouting in anticipation and roaring excitement.

He sat back down in his seat as he watches Fandral sized up his brother; weighing the blade in his scabby hand and lifting his metal shield as an ice club bloomed from Helblindi’s hand.

“Begin!” Loki bellowed.

The crowd exploded and Helblindi was charging at Fandral, bringing down his club. Fandral leaps out of the way just as the club smashed down.

The crowd cheered.

Fandral barely made it to Helblindi’s right when Helblindi swung his club hard again, catching Fandral’s shield and smashing it off the Aesir hand with such a brutal force that Fandral was knock cleanly off his feet and thrown half way across the arena.

The crowd roared.

Fandral spat blood; forcing himself up to his feet. Loki did not need to have a clear view to know that Fandral had broken his arm. The force of the last strike would have done it or he would be very surprise.

 _“Finish him!" "Kill him!”_ The crowd screams as Helblindi steps calmly towards the Aesir.

And just as Helblindi raised his club for the finishing blow, Fandral did the most unthinkable; he got up and ran.

The crowd roared in laughter.

Helblindi caught him easily and tried to crush him but Fandral darted out of the way, circling left away from the club.

The crowd laughed as Fandral kept running about Helblindi and jerking away from his assaults again and again and again like a pesky little fly.

Loki wasn’t laughing. He could tell that Fandral was making Helblindi chase him with that massive ice club, to tire Helblindi most likely. But how long could Fandral keep this up, Loki wonder. One misstep and it would be over; and it could take hours to tire a Jotun.

Helblindi smashed down, missing the Aesir once again.

Loki saw his brother flash him a worried glance as if to see if he was displeased with the entire episode that was quickly turning into a massive joke.

Loki clenched his jaws, his fingers curled. He hated the way Helblindi would look so earnestly for his approval since that night when he had confronted Helblindi and demanded to know why he had ordered the attack on Thrym.

 _“He would have destroyed our family! He would have ruined us all! He plots for your death! He taints Byleistr and fills his mind with madness! And! And he sullied the bed of our dam and sire! How could I have let him lived?!”_ Helblindi had cried heatedly then. _“And you have always been the brilliant one…surely you know of how he dishonored our family! You have wanted him dead for years too haven’t you? That’s why you didn’t save him isn’t it? I know you could have”_

 _“I could not save him”_ He had told Helblindi _.”But if I could, I would not, for what life would he have? He would have been unable to speak, unable to move, to require his every menial needs cared for. No…Cruelty is not in my nature. I will not watch him fall from grace”_

 _“I would have gladly”_ Helblindi had said without hesitation.

In that instant, he had been so lost for words. So shocked that all he had managed to say was, _“Has my brother died in my absence?”_

Helblindi had been so horrified at his words that he made no protest when Thrym was laid to rest in the sacred tomb hours later with two vacant spots beside him; one for their dam and the other their sire.

Ever since then, Helblindi has been trying and trying to mend whatever it was that was broken between them, but the truth was that nothing was broken. Loki never meant to be so harsh.

Fear changes a person Loki knew. And he knew that Helblindi, born in the midst of the last war has always been terrified of losing his family. And when Thrym had seem to threatened all that he loves, Helblindi had lashed out and kill him, believing that he was saving his family from crumbling into pieces. Believing that Byleistr will return to being the brother he knows, believing that nothing will now wedge his dam and sire apart and believing that he was saving Loki’s life. They were wistful thinking… an illusion of reality that was far more complex than that. But Loki did not tell him so.

A loud shout from the masses jarred Loki back into the present.

Fandral was on the ground again clutching his bleeding side. Helblindi raised his club.

 _“It’s over”_ Loki straightened up in his seat.

Suddenly with a blink of an eye, Fandral darted forth; slipping pass the massive club of ice, he sliced the tendons at the back of both the Jotun’s feet. At once a howl of pain exploded and Helblindi crumpled to the ground.

A shout of terror caught in Loki’s throat. And in the next split of the second, he watched in gut wrenching horror as Fandral swung the blade to Helblindi’s throat.

But that was where it stops. Fandral did not slice Helbindi’s throat open. Simply place the dagger threateningly at his neck.

Helblindi stilled.

A second became two.

“I win!” Fandral declared loudly.

A silence of disbelief hung over the coliseum.

Those azure eyes turn to Loki who had not even realize it until then that he was already on his feet, who did not realize it until then that he was shaking beneath his cloak - not from cold. But from fear…And he hated it. He hated till this day that Iduun’s purity had not been burnt out of his veins even when he had relied heavily on dark seid in the battlefield. He despised all those weak sentimental emotions that stir in him; that comes to him unbidden because it makes him weak and strikes him with fear.

“I win!” Fandral said again, this time more forcefully.

Blood flowed down his left arm and side, seeping into his dirty clothes. But still he stood.

All eyes were upon Loki. And in that moment, it was as if the entire world was holding her breath.

Suddenly, Loki laughs, clapping his hands. “As expected from the greatest swordsmen of Asgard!”

More Jotuns entered the ring to help Helblindi.

Fandral waited for Loki to ask his desires when he was suddenly shoved hard by a Jotun guard. Cold bit into his arm. And he was shoved again, almost off his feet.

“What?!” Fandral growled.

“Off you go” The guard said.

“Wait!” Fandral look back at Loki. “What of my favor?!”

“Your favor is your life” Loki said calmly. “Take him away”

“Is _this_ the value of the words spoken by the next King of Jotunheim?!” Fandral roared so loudly that the Jotun guard froze for an instant. “Empty and hollow, carrying no weight?! You gave your words that whosoever wins in the arena could ask a boon of you! I won and you tell me my reward is my life and send me away?! Is honor dead in the realm of ice?!” He lifted his eyes to the crowd. “Is this the weight of the promise of Jotun Kings?!”

Loki was unmoving and if looks could kill, Fandral would be dead. But Fandral did not care. 

“We’ve laid down our arms! We’ve sworn to serve in exchange for life!" He reminded them. "So give us better shelter! Better food! Warmer clothes and medicine so that we do not die! Let us live! That is all I ask!”

“Yes” Loki said coldly. “Whosoever wins, were my words. But in Jotunheim, victory is declared when your opponent is fatally wounded or dead! I see you have dealt neither to my _brother_! If you want your boon, then finish him!”

Murmurs broke through the crowd.

“You ask me to kill your brother?” Fandral said in disbelief.

“Should it matter who he is to me?” Loki asked. “He is just a Jotun to you”

Fandral saw that the Jotuns that had come to help his opponent back away, allowing him his victory.

“ _What is wrong with you people?! Is the younger prince worth nothing to you?!”_ Fandral thought fiercely as he turns back to his fallen opponent and lifted his blade to his opponent’s neck.

The Jotun did not resist, resign to the fate Loki declared upon him.

Fandral wanted suddenly to snap at him: _Why are you so compliant?! Pick up your weapon! Fight me!_

But the Jotun did not. Those scarlet eyes held his cerulean ones without fear or anger.

Complete loyalty Fandral realized.

A heartbeat became two…

Fandral couldn't do it. He couldn't kill an unarmed opponent who has for all intent and purpose surrendered. Clenching his jaws, Fandral threw his blade down.

“Indeed…you are a man of honor” Loki said.   

 

 

* * *

 

 

The gentle breeze caresses over Baldur’s wavy golden locks as he sat at the edge of the city wall. The sky was red and gold, like burning flames, as the sun gradually vanish behind the misty mountains. But there too was a certain coldness to the air, a certain bite that hinted of an eternal winter that is slowly creeping in on them.

The Jotuns are still far up the North they tell him, but Baldur knew better than to believe words told to him just because they were adults.

The tap of boots came closer. Baldur turned, beaming when he saw Heimdall standing by his side.

“Here again I see, young prince” Heimdall said.

“Aye”

“I have informed the Queen of your being here”

“How is my brother?” Baldur asked, looking at the setting sun.

“He is in pain still…but he is strong”

Baldur nodded, swinging his legs off the edge.

For a long time he hated his brother despite all that he still loves him. And he found that it was possible to love someone and hate them with the same measure all at once. For a long time he blamed Thor. He thought for a long time that if Thor had picked Loki as his consort, none of this would happen. He remembered that his naïve mind hated all those people who mock Loki and he believe it was their fault. They made Loki angry!

Then as time passed, he started loathing the Jotuns as everyone around him did instead. He blamed them for everything. He prayed every night to the Norns to kill them all. He cursed them all!

He hated them the more as he saw dead warriors being charted back. He despised them the more as he watched widows wailed in aguish at their dead husbands, as he saw his people starve in the streets. As he saw plague devourer the now overcrowded city. And as he saw children gnawing at the bones of rats in hunger.

His tutors too taught him to hate those Jotun monsters.

He remembered his excitement when he heard that the warriors had taken captives of a small band of Jotun who had surrendered in the last battle. There was a violent crowd that day when the Jotuns were brought back. He remembered climbing one of the titan stone statues just to get a look at those monsters as they were paraded to the screaming crowd that hurled stones and bricks at them.

He had felt uncomfortable at the sight but his mind told him that they deserve it.

Then that night he snuck down into the dungeons. Why he did it, he did not know. Perhaps he wanted to scream at them, perhaps he wanted to curse them, perhaps he wanted to demand answers from those monsters, he did not know, but he snuck down. And what he saw was something no one should ever be made to see.

He remembered that it was dank and it was loud. Screams of anguished echoed and shook the walls. The rattles of chains were deafening, the scent of burning flesh and blood was sickening. His body was frozen solid in the little corner he hid as he watched the Aesir warriors torture the defeated Jotuns.

He shuts his eyes and tried to shut out the screaming, but they were so loud. So damnable loud!

Tears streak down his little face and he did not know how long he was there, but he did not dare move until all had gone silent and the Jotuns were either dead or unconscious in their bloodied chains. And then he ran as fast as he could up the stony steps. For days, the screams would not leave him. The memory would not leave him, until he could take no more.

He went then to Heimdall. That way he did not need to explain what he saw. The thought alone was enough to make him throw up.

 _“_ _Why?!”_ He had screamed at Heimdall.

Why what? Why didn’t Heimdall alert anyone to his presence? Why did the Aesir torture their prisoners? Why did everything happen? He didn’t even know what he was asking.  

But he returns regularly, asking Heimdall this and that.

“How is Loki?” Baldur asked.

“He hides from my gaze still young prince”

“Then he lives”

“Aye”

“Why do men go to war?” Baldur turns his cerulean eyes to Heimdall. “The people say it’s because the Jotuns are monsters and they seek only to destroy”

“But you do not believe them young prince?”

Baldur shrugged. “I’ve seen so call monsters in their moments of kindness and gentleness that are no different from us. And I’ve seen honorable men in their moments of brutality and cruelty beyond believe”

“…”

“How do you judge whether one is a monster or not? Do you judge them from that one moment when they are at their worst? Do you judge them from that one defining moment when they give in to their sorrows, anger and anguish even if on all the other days they are good and honorable men?”

“…”

“There are no monsters Heimdall”

“You think beyond your age” Heimdall commented.

Baldur was barely five hundred and still very much a child. But the things he would say are not the words of a child.

“Tell me a story gatekeeper. Tell me why men go to war”

 

 

* * *

 

 

“Pain is a gift my Lord of Aesir” Helblindi said when Fandral cursed at the rough gloved hands of the Jotun healer that bandage his broken arm. “It means you are still alive”

Fandral flashed the younger prince a glare.

Helblindi smile, from his fur bed on the skin covered floor. “Anger is good. It keeps a man going”

Fandral said nothing.

Truth, when he was called away from the others during dinner, he had been worried. Loki was well known even among the Jotuns for his temper and after that winning in the arena, something he was sure was not suppose to happen, he feared Loki’s retribution. But all that had happened was that he was cleaned, shaved and given a fresh set of dull woolen clothes.

And then he was showed into one of the thousands of skin covered, Jotun tents. Aesir homes were too low and small for them after all.

Then lo and behold, there was the devil waiting for him with the Jotun he had injured in the arena.

“ _This is Helblindi_ ” Loki had the gulls to introduce. “ _You will be tending to him until I can completely heal him. And while you care for him, you can stay here, you will have better food, you will have warmer clothes and if you are sick you will be cared for_ ”

Fandral had snapped then. He didn’t ask these things for himself. He did not want these things for himself! But Loki would hear none of it and promptly left them alone.

Helblindi had then decided to get a healer for him.

“My prince” The healer’s deep voice rumbled. “It is done”

Helblindi dismisses the healer with a wave of his hand.

Fandral stood to his feet angrily as he watches Helblindi flip the tome on his lap.

“I did not ask for this” Fandral gritted.

“I did not ask for you to tend to me either” Helblindi said casually.

“Then send me away”

“Wiser men know not to upset my brother. He has a temper”

Fandral snorted. “Oh trust me, the whole of Asgard knows it”

Helblindi flashed him a glare but Fandral did not care.

“Have a care of how you speak of my brother” Helblindi warned.

“Ah yes…you _love_ your brother”

“…”

“You should be careful with loving him too freely” Fandral said nastily. “Your _dear_ brother will take your love and burn it to the ground. Mark my words”

Helblindi frowned; closing his large tome he place it beside him.

“I tire of this conversation” He muttered. “Bring my draught. I will rest now”

“Yes sir” Fandral gritted.

He tiptoed at the wooden table, reaching for the large bowl of draught. He carried the wooden bowl against his sore body to the prince, spilling it a little but Helblindi did not comment on it.

“You can call me Helblindi. I don’t like formalities” Was all the prince said before downing the bowl.

Fandral notice that the younger prince did not finish it when he placed it next to his bed.

“Get rid of the fire and get some sleep” Helblindi unbuckled the straps of his golden vambrance and place them beside him too, followed by the silver rings on each of his fingers. “You may have some draught for your arm if you wish. It should help with the pain”

Fandral blink, taken aback. The Jotun was offering to relieve his pain?

Helblindi smile at his surprise.

“What’s the matter? Am I not meeting the expectation of the monster you Aesir tell your children of at night?” He teased.

“Uh…”

Helblindi pushes the bowl closer to Fandral.

“Do not be so surprise that the monster of your children’s nightmares could be capable of sympathy. I do not kill those before me in the battlefield because I enjoy killing or that I hate you Aesir…I kill because I love those who are behind me…are we so very different my Lord of Aesir?

“…”

“Why did you spare me?”

“…”

Helblindi heaved a sigh at the silence.

“Well, good night” He pulls the cover higher up his abdomen and shifted to lay down on his front; wincing slightly at the pain in his legs.

And just like that the Jotun prince shuts his eyes.

Fandral stared at him and that was all he could do when he took a mouthful of that draught.

In the dim crackling light, the three silver rings decorated each of the prince’s ears glint, and as Fandral stood to his feet, he let his eyes graze the patterns carved into the prince’s pale cerulean back and clean shaven head. Helblindi was bulkier than Loki as was to be expected, though he was still on the leaner side when compared to most of the Jotuns Fandral had seen. Then there was the familiar high cheek bones and narrow aristocratic nose that was identical to Loki or rather Laufey, and his horns were curve towards the side to frame his head. Fandral decided that while there are enough similarities in features to say that Helblindi is Loki’s brother; that is where the similarity ends.

“You done staring?” Helblindi spoke suddenly startling Fandral.

“Sorry” Fandral hurriedly puts out the fire at the corner of the tent.

He looked around in the darkness, and decided to settle crawling beneath a pile of fur he had noticed earlier. For the first time in months, he felt warm. He was about to drift off when Helblindi spoke.

“I have no illusion of my brother, my Lord of Aesir. But that doesn’t mean it is not worth to love him”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Within the hour of Laufey entering the city, he learn of Helblindi's injury. And to say that he was displeased was an understatement. Laufey was ready to scream at Helblindi and Loki if not for the fact that they were separated from his entire army by only the skin of their tents. It will not do to have their entire troop listen in on their princes being chastised. So all Laufey could do was seethe and glare at Fandral.

Fandral wish Laufey would leave soon but as fate would have it, since Helblindi could not walk, Laufey decided to have a ‘ _family reunion dinner_ ’ in Helblindi’s tent.

The third prince Fandral noted at once, though he has more muscles than his brothers, he is exceedingly beautiful, even by Aesir standard. Gems and golden threads weaved magnificently into his wavy bone pale hair that frames his face and reach over his shoulders. Translucent red eyes that burn as if it held all the stars in the universe within its wondrous depths. Pale cerulean skin, narrow aristocratic nose like his dam but with a certain softness to his features that Fandral took must have been taken from the Queen of Jotunheim.

Beauty beyond measure... 

If Loki was Keres, then the third prince was Adonis. 

“About time you took this place” Byleistr said to Loki.

“At least I took a city” Loki took a bite of his apple.

“What does _that_ suppose to mean?”

“I still wonder till this day whether the fishermen or the farmers gave you a better fight”

A snicker almost escape Fandral’s lips but he covered it with a cough. He was not fooling Laufey but thankfully Byleistr did not seem to notice.

“I was not defeated by villages my _dearest_ brother” Byleistr said politely enough to be insulting “The Aesir armies came within the hour, perhaps you did not recall. But don’t worry about it. It was half a century ago, wouldn't want to strain that little brain of yours”

“Still if my little brain serves me right, that was the worst beating I have heard of since…well that beating really” Loki smile his little smile again.

Fandral could guess that bickering was the norm in the Jotun King’s everyday life as he watch Laufey take his time with his meat without a care.

“Um…more wine?” He ask the King when he noticed that Laufey’s goblet was almost empty.

Laufey flash him a glare. Then he snatched the jug from him, poured it himself and shoved it back.

Well then…

“At least I command! Unlike _him_!” Byleistr pointed at Helblindi. The third prince was starting to shout now. “All he does is stick with you!”

“How is this about me?” Helblindi ask incredulously.

“It isn’t!” Byleistr and Loki snapped in unison.

“Fine then!”

“And you should be thanking me on bended knees that I intercepted the backups! Or you wouldn’t even have _this_ to show for!” Byleistr spat at Loki.

“It wasn’t you. It was dam” Helblindi pointed.

“I was with him!”

At some point between the shouting, Laufey finished his dinner and cleared his throat, silencing his children.

“Well, that was a peaceful dinner” Laufey wipes his hand on a cloth.

“He started it…” Byleistr mumbled.

“Such a child” Loki said. “Perhaps it would be best if you return to Jotunheim to accompany sire and the baby”

“Will you stop!” Byleistr snapped.

“Forgive me” Loki smile. “It was just a bit of fun”

 “Loki” Laufey sighs. “How long before your brother is healed?”

“Give another week or two”

“Then we move in four” Laufey decided “The North is ours. The Aesir has abandoned it”

“Their armies are just over the forest, about a hundred and fifty miles from here” Loki said. “They have the advantage in position”

“But we have the bigger army. I have send words to Jotunheim, another platoon will be here by midday tomorrow”

“Aye”

“Oh. One more thing. I need you three to listen very closely” Laufey said gravely.

“Um is this wise?” Helblindi motioned at Fandral.

“He can stay for this” Laufey said.

Well _this_ is interesting, Fandral reflected.

“Listen carefully. If a great conqueror needs to shout his achievements from the top of the mountain, then he is no great conqueror at all” He smiled pleasantly at them.

It took a second for the words to sink in. Loki and Byleistr burn with shame.

“Don’t you agree?” Laufey looked suddenly at Fandral. “Lord Commander”

 

 

* * *

 

 

The coldness creeps ever closer, an ominous shadow hung over the forest beneath. Thor stood at the edge of the small hill, surveying the lower land covered in a veil of icy mist. Rows of torches flickered wildly behind him as the ruthless wind tore through the night, clawing at his skin.

Soldiers shouted and called. Scorching oils were being prepared. Spears and swords were being sharpened. Bows and arrows made anew.

“They are hiding in the forest” Sif came up to stand beside him. “But they’ll come eventually and we will be ready”

“Any news from the scouts we send?”

“Nay” Sif sighs. “Those are no ordinary mist”

“It is lace with dark seid” Thor knew.

“Aye”

“Double the guards. _He_ is here”

“As you command” Sif said, but she did not move. Her eyes never left her King.

While to the world Thor is unmoving and unyielding; unbowed, unbend, unbroken, strong as the rock and fierce as the hurricane, Sif knew the truth. Thor is more than just a God and King, he is man… he feels pain, he feels shame and he feels alone. He is more than flesh and bones; he feels guilt, he feels anger and he feels fear.

Sif reach out to touch Thor’s arm, her thumb stroked once over the hardness of his muscle.

Cerulean meets hazel.

“You are not alone” She tells him.

“…”

“I will never leave you”

“I know” Thor lids his hand over the side of Sif’s neck. “But I wish you would not be so brave. I wish you were not here. _He_ is dangerous. And _he_ is down there”

The sudden commotion behind them caught their attention. They broke apart.

“My King! My Lady!” A soldier came dashing towards them.

“What is it?” Sif ask urgently. “Are they here?!”

“No my Lady! No!” The man panted; and then he was laughing. “It’s Ser Fandral! He escaped! He is back! He is back!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know we haven't have a Thor and Loki in one scene for 2 chapters. But I promise they will be very soon. Please just bare with me! They will meet very very soon I promise!


	22. Smoke and Mirrors

The scent of dirt, smoke and herbs were thick in the air. The air is cold and it was starting to bite into Thor’s skin as he stood at the edge of the dim tent, as Sif speak to Fandral bundled beneath the thick layers of furs.

The fire crackled on the other side of the tent. Fandral did not want it anywhere near him, and Thor could not fault him for it.

Half of Fandral’s face that had been burnt by those monsters. His burnt skin was reddish and raw and his golden hair had crisped away.

Fandral had lost most of the bulk of his muscles and he could barely walk. The tips of all his fingers were dark, bleeding and rotted from frostbite and the skin from the soles of his feet had been completely torn off. His lips were dry and cracked and his body was covered with lashes.

While the healers had told them that Fandral would live and for that Thor was grateful; the mere thought of what those monsters had done to Fandral stabs him with anger and rage.

“Thor” Sif called. “Come”

Thor uncrosses his arm, going over. He forced a smile when he drew close, the scent herbs grew ever stronger. His eyes averted Fandral’s half burnt face, not because it terrifies him. He had seen more than his fair share of burnt men in the war… But rather, the sight of Fandral fills him with guilt and shame.

Guilt that he had abandoned his friend to be tortured; to be slaughtered by those monsters! And shame…that Fandral would still look upon him even without a shard of anger or accusation.

Sif stood up for Thor to take her place.

“I will leave you two to speak” She said.

Thor was silent.

She bowed; then giving Fandral a gentle smile, she left.

Thor’s hand touches the rough edge of Fandral’s fur cover as he lowered himself on the wooden stool.

There was a moment where neither spoke a word and Thor looked at his hands.

“Ah…The healers said it would likely scar a little” Fandral started. His voice was weak and hoarse.

Thor’s fingers curled.

“How am I to pick up Ladies now eh?” Fandral joked badly. “But I suppose Ladies do like man with sca-”

“Forgive me” Thor said as if he had not heard a word his friend spoke. “I left you with those monsters…I shouldn’t… I cou-”

“Thor stop” Fandral rasped. “You did what you needed”

“Did I?” Thor gritted in anger at himself.

“It is an honor to die for Asgard”

“Honor…” Thor snorted. “You must be the very few left that still speak of honor and meant it”

While his warriors and people are quick to accuse that the Jotuns fought without honor, they themselves were no better.

But what is honor when babes are ripped from the breast of mothers on a whim? What is honor when children starve and widows wail over the bodies of their husbands? What is honor when your realm burn and the innocent drop dead like flies every day? What is honor when defeat meant a lifetime of slavery and torture? What is honor when defeat meant that everything you had ever known and love would be ripped away from you?

In a time of Gods and Monsters, what is the worth of honor?

“Do you not believe that it is an honor to die…?” Fandral asked quietly.

“…”

“You’ve changed…”

“Perhaps”

“…”

“You will be moved back to the capital the day after tomorrow”

“As you command”

“…”

“When did you get here…?” Fandral rasped.

“After Sif reported that Laufey had marched to Eden to unite his men” Thor told him.

“What of the West?”

“I left it to Bragi…But let’s stop this talk of war…”

Silent fell between them again.

“You…You should rest” Thor stood up. “We will speak again tomorrow”

“Aye…” Fandral looked up to Thor, a smile on his lips. “When this is all over, perhaps we could return to Fyrisvellir once again…”

Thor cracks a true smile for the first time in years.

Fyrisvellir was a place in their better times. It was a time when Asgard had shone with the light of a thousand suns; when laughter and songs could be heard at all hours of the day. It was a place in a time when they were all naive, carefree and so happy.

“Aye we will” That is a promise.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Shadows were all around; a veil of mist hides them all. The moonless, starless night was dark and all that could be heard were the occasional soft crunch of leafs or the creak of twigs or the bodiless whisper and the muffled sobs and the clinks of chains.

Jotun warriors guarded the shivering crowd of Aesir prisoners that huddled together beneath layers of fur covers.

But even so, the Aesirs shiver terribly in the sheering cold that tears painfully at their skin. Their lips were cracked, their skin peel and their chest hurts. The tip of their fingers had darkened.

Fandral, heavily chained to a tree away from the crowd, shivered badly as the wind slice through the night with a fury; grating hard against his exposed face. Even with thick furs wrapped about him, the night was still unbearable.

The trees shook.

“You should rest while you can” There was a soft crunch.

Fandral looked up; golden locks fell away from his icy face.

Helblindi crouches down by him while Laufey stood behind his child, glaring viciously at him. It was no secret that Laufey loathed him. Hel, the only reason Laufey had let him live albeit grudgingly was because he had spared Helblindi’s life when it was his to take.

Fandral looked away from the King to Helblindi.

“I’ll be…res-ting… soon enough” He gritted; his teeth clattered hard.

“No hard feelings my Lord of Aesir” Helblindi smiled, arranging the rough furs a little higher over Fandral.

Fandral said nothing.

“It won’t be long now…” Laufey spoke. “Go get Byleistr”

“Aye…” Helblindi left obediently, leaving the two alone.

Laufey crouches down, the tip of his fingers touch the dirt beneath them as those scarlet eyes looked intently at the darkness that shrouds them.

The mist was so thick that Fandral knew that Laufey could not possibly see much of anything. But he knew too that the King did not need sight to perceive his surroundings.

Jotunheim, a realm shroud in darkness and thick mist, with snowstorms that last an age, and night…an eternity; vision was overrated. The Jotun’s every smell, every sound, every touch, were heightened beyond that of Aesir that they could perceive the world around them with such clarity that it surpasses that of sight.

The silence dragged on, anticipation and fear continue to twist like a knife in Fandral’s guts. He took in a deep breath, wrenching uselessly against the chains that cuts into him for what seem like the hundredth time.

Scarlet eyes glows in the dark, as the entire platoon of Jotun army waited for Loki’s signal. It was going to be an uphill battle for the Jotuns. And with one of the largest Aesir troop by far.

“You ha-ve the Nor-th” Fandral tells Laufey. “Stop advan-cing your ar-my”

“You would like that wouldn’t you?”

“You may win th-is battle…perhaps the ne-xt…but you will not win this war”

“…”

“Your chil-dren! Your soldiers! They will die for no-thing!”

“And you would care” Laufey sneered.

“Hel-blindi” Fandral said. “He do-esn’t deserve to die”

“No he doesn’t” Laufey conceded. But he was unmoving.

Of course Fandral didn’t think his words could change the King’s mind…but he had to do something! Before first light, thousands are going to die!

“You are so su-re…Lo-ki will de-liver…?” Fandral asked.

“He will not fail”

“I’m…sur-prise…that…that you would let yo-ur heir go alone…But I sup-pose…you do ha-ve two spares and he is a ru-”

Laufey hissed.

Before Fandral could even react a blade was pressed painfully against his throat. Blood red eyes glaring viciously at him.

“Do not ever!” Laufey snarled; his razor teeth bare. “Imply that I cared not for Loki. Or any of my children”

Fandral was unfazed.

Lord Tyr came towards them.

“My King…” Tyr called. “It is time” 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thor panted, his heart hammered, beating violently against his chest. His eyes were wide as he swept his head from left to right. All about, all that he could see were darkness as he stood hip deep in a sea of blood and corpse. He could smell the stanch of death, the stanch of rot and flesh and he see mangled bodies all around him.

And there was fear, a cold dripping fear that creeps towards him, like a plague, a disease… coming to tear him apart, to devour him. There was wet crackling sound behind him and he could feel a stirring, a presence, that make all his hair stand on ends.

He turns slowly, his lips trembled and his body shook... perhaps in cold or perhaps in fear. There was nothing.

A soft taunting chuckle whispered.

 _“Shall I sing you a lullaby to close your eyes…?”_ Icy lips brushed his ears.

At once Thor roared, whirling, to see a child garbed in filthy nightdress standing a little away from him. Grimy long black hair dangled all over his pale face and ashen lips.

“Who...Who are you…?” Thor stammered.

Pale grey eyes simply look at him and then slowly the child opens his mouth…wider and wider, followed by a loud sharp crack of dislocated bones and yet still it stretched heedlessly wider.

Thor stumbled back in terror as he stared with wide eyes; his every instinct screaming at him.

 _Monster… Monster…_  

There was something crawling up its throat and he could hear wings, thousands of tiny little wings and slick wet sound and smell the stanch of rot. His guts twisted. Then came a terrible screeched and from the depths of his throat that was as black and endless as the abyss came forth venomous snakes, scorpions and thousands upon thousands of wasp that flew right at Thor.

Thor roared, and he ran.

Vicious wasps stung and melted his flesh.

He swiped violently, desperately. White blinding pain exploded, stabbing, sheering his face, his neck, his arm, and his fingers. Welts, blisters and blood formed over every inch of his exposed skin.

“Stop! Stop!” He howled.

He tried to run faster; his muscles burnt as he ploughed through the sea of death. Something caught his legs and he tripped with a mighty splash swallowing a mouthful of pungent liquid that sheered his throat. He coughed, his guts twisted violently. He pushed to get up when black inky tendrils wrapped tightly about his neck, and hauled him under. 

He fought and he twisted, yanking and kicking as more and more inky vines wrap and tighten about all of his limbs.

 _"Here’s a lullaby to close your eyes…”_ Ghostly nails caress his blistered cheek _._

Thor struggled, letting out a muffled scream.

 _"Goodbye”_ The red Jotun eyes flashed.

A loud crash jolted Thor awake into his misty tent and for a moment he did not know where he was.

The horns were shrieking through the night, wild and urgent, screaming:  _Awake! Awake! Warriors of Asgard Awake!_

He could see bright flickering lights beyond the thin layer of his tent and hear urgent shouts and clatters of metal, the neigh of horses and the thudding of boots.

_“Loki…”_

Thor lurches at once to his feet, fumbling for his boots. His hands shook, his body covered in cold sweat trembled still as he struggled to buckle his boots. He could see his breath.

That dream… His guts twist and he thought he was going to be sick. He took in deep shuddering breath, swiping a clammy hand down his face. Those words… He remembers them from long ago.

Loki is here. Loki is taunting him.

Within minutes he was armored and out the tent, to be greeted by a scene of total chaos.

Men and horse blundering through the mist and fire was all around him. Scorching pots of oil had been overturned and the withered grass around them was starting to burn. Tents were on fire and the horses were wild in panic, crashing into wooden wagons and smashing barrels of water and boxes of rations.

“ _Move the weapons!”_   His men shout through the clatter.

_“Put out the fire you fool!”_

_“Control those animals!"_ _  
_

He shifted through the wreckage.

The mist thickened as he steps. And the thunderous clatter and shouts seemed to soften, till he could hear no more. He could still see his men all around him yes, he could still see the fire and the horses going wild, trampling over everything in their path. He could see his men opening their lips and shouting, waving wildly, but he could not hear them. Nor did he think they could see him.

He took in a deep breath, bracing himself.

“Show yourself trickster” He commanded. “I know it is you”

There was a heartbeat when everything was silent.

Then came a whisper from behind him. “It’s been awhile hasn’t it? Your Grace…”

At once, Thor stilled. His heart thumped.

That voice…that familiar voice that haunted his every resting moment.

Emotions, a thunderstorm of conflicting, clashing emotions burst forth, crowding in on him hard and fast, so many that he could hardly sort them out. But one…there was one, that shrieked above all and it clouds his mind with red….fiery red!

Rain poured. His grip on Mjolnir tightened till his knuckles were white.

Thunders roared, lightning streak. Thor turns; his fierce cerulean gaze pierced Loki’s blood red ones.

Loki was just as he remembers him. Beautiful, alluring…and yet so terrible…

“Why such a scary face? Did you miss your poor _daddy_?” Loki taunted.

Thunders shrieked, threatening to rip the skies apart.

Loki laughs at the twisted expression on Thor’s face.

Wind howled.

“You should thank me Thor!” He screams through the onslaught of rain.

Thor’s eyes were murderous and they glow and spit as if the very lightning itself. Mjolnir thrummed with scalding power.

“I made you King of Asgard!”

Thor roared, charging at Loki.

Loki laughs, taking off before Thor could reach him. He did not need to look over his shoulders to know that Thor was hunting him. He could hear the heavy boots thudding after him; he could feel the prickle of sheer raw power in the air that bites at his flesh.

A chuckle bubbled from his lips, his chest tightened. Oh indeed he dances with death. Oh indeed he is the father of death!

“Poor daddy’s little boy…did he miss the bedtime stories?” He goaded.

The wind ripped through the night, shaking the trees and the ground groan as roots were being brutally torn from the very depths.

Blood pounded in Thor’s ears.

 _“What’s the matter? Did mommy not tell good bedtime stories?”_ Thor could hear Loki’s taunts through the howling wind as he hunted the beast. _“Did you miss mummy too? Shall I bring you her head so you won’t be lonely?”_

Bolts of lightning ripped from sky to dirt; the ground shook, the sound was deafening.

Trees burnt.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Sif was helping with the fire when she heard someone shouting for her. “My Lady! My Lady!”

Sif turn. She stilled when she saw the squire she had sent to see Fandral to safety rushing towards her.

“My Lady!”

“Why are you here?” She demanded urgently. “Where’s Fandral?!”

“He isn’t in his tent! He is gone!” 

“Impossible!”

“I swear my Lady! There was no one! I swear!” 

Before Sif could say another word the horns called again for the second time that night. But it was a different call this time. A more terrifying one...

_Enemies! Enemies! The enemies are coming!_

“ _Norns save us”_ She turns back to the frighten boy. “Go find Fandral and keep him safe” She said slowly, clearly, force behind her every word. 

“Ye-yes Lady!” The squire bolted.

Sif rushes to the border. Warriors were starting to crowd across the entire front. She pushes her way through until she was standing at the edge of the slope. It was still dark, and the cold mist is thickening despite the downpour.

Thunders rumbled and crashed.

She could hear the Jotun’s battle cry in the distance even if she could not yet see them.

“Where is Thor?” She asked.

“No one has seen him” The warrior beside her answered.

She whipped her head around. “When was the last anyone saw him?!” She demanded.

They looked at one another, shaking their heads.

“Well?!”

“A squire is searching for him” Someone informed.

 _“Norns…”_ She took in a deep breath.

This cannot be happening now! They cannot wait for Thor. She will lead then…

“Men! To your positions!” She ordered.

But they did not move. They murmured among each other and some were even leaving the ranks.

“Men!” She tried.

They did not even look at her. A century she had lead them in and out of battle, all those victories meant nothing to them. She was just a woman playing at swords to them. They only follow her because they were commanded to. Now that Thor is here somewhere, they refuse to follow her anymore.

She could feel the tremor beneath her boots, and feel the crispy bite of cold in the air. The Jotuns would be on them in minutes now…

“Men!” Sif roared above their chatters. “Don’t fight for me! Don’t fight for your King!”

That caught their attention. She continues.

“But if you do not stand now! It is your realm they will burn! Your cities they will plunder! Your women they will slaughter! And your children they will torture!” She saw awareness dawning on their faces. “Warriors of Asgard! I bid you take up your arms and fight _with_ me one more time! Take up your arms and defend your cities! Defend your homes! Defend your women! And defend your children! Warriors of Asgard! I bid you take up your arms and defend your realm! For Asgard!”

The warriors roared, thrusting their weapons into the air.

“For Asgard!” They shouted in unison.

“Men! To your positions! And let’s show them why Asgard remains a realm undefeated! Unconquered! Unchallenged!”

In a heartbeat there was a mess of clattering and scrapping to metals. She lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

A familiar chilling howl dragged through the night.

 _“_ _Norns be good…”_ She turns to the battleground.

That was Fenrir. The beast of Hel.

“Bring what’s left of the oil!”  She unsheathes her sword.

The camp is still on fire. The catapults, spears, shields…they are burning. Half the horses are gone. And the arrows… not much was left.

Twenty great cauldrons of scorching oil were being brought.

 _“That’s it?”_ Sif thought.

Men parted and reformed, allowing the oil to be pushed into position; in front of three rows of spearmen and a wall of tall metallic shields. It would have been seven rows if they had the spears. Four foot soldiers were in charge of each cauldron.

She looks over the shoulders of her archers and three rows of bristle steel. The grip of her sword tightened as the voice grew louder. Rain dripping down her jet black locks.

“Archers at the ready!” She ordered.

Archers drew their arrows, setting them ablaze. A thousand burning arrows were pointed up into the night.

The first to burst through the mist about a hundred and fifty meter from them were no Jotuns. They were Aesir, women and children and they were all clad in dirty rags; screaming and weeping. And only behind them did the Jotuns start sweeping in with a mix too of Aesir war prisoners, stumbling and running among them.

Sif stilled. The warriors reeled.

“Steady!” She shouted.

“My Lady! If we shoot they -”

“Then so be it” There was no hesitation in her voice.

A hundred meters… eighty… seventy…

“Pour the oil!” She commanded.

At once, great cauldrons were pushed over. 

Scorching oil flowed with great speed down the treacherous slope, burning trees, grass…everything. The women and children were too slow to avoid. The oil burn and melted their flesh. Their shrieks were terrifying.

“Archers!” She cried. “Fire!”

Arrows flew.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thor stalked Loki all the way into the thick woods. He was soaked from head to toe, his boots smacked against mud in a steady rhythm like a march. Branches cracked; the ground groaned in protest. Thorns and branches caught his cape, he unclasped them. Water dripped from the tip of his golden locks. His piercing eyes never left the mad chuckling figure in front of him even as mist started to surround him.

“Can you catch me? My Lord of Aesir…” Loki smirks, leaping through the trees.

Thor steps into a small misty clearing where all traces of Loki vanish. There was no more mocking laughter, no more taunts, but he knows Loki is there. He could feel Loki’s icy presence hidden in the mist. He could feel those scarlet eyes watching his every move and hear the ever soft clink of jewels that adorned Loki’s furs beneath the groans of thunder.

Seconds ticked. The rain continues to fall.

“Will you not play anymore?!” Thor asked.

Lightning flashed.

“Oh Chaos! Where is your taunt?!” He turns, scanning the arctic mist. “Oh Death! Where is your fear?! Or does Death tremble at the sight of a God?!”

Still Loki did not appear.

His cerulean gaze drifted to Mjolnir in his hand. A realization hit him…Loki is afraid of Mjolnir.

Suddenly, laughter burst from his lips and he laughed and he laughed.

_Coward!_

He lets Mjolnir drop onto the mud with a heavy thud, and at once, laughter died from his lips. He lifted his burning gaze as he steps away from Mjolnir.

One step…two step… three step…four…five…

Rain streamed down every hard edge of his face.

“Come” He said.

There was no mercy in his spitting eyes.

A brush of icy fingers over his cheek, he reeled around just to see Loki disappear into the mist with a taunting smirk.

A touch on the back of his neck, Thor turned. Nothing…

There was a creak this time on his right, and then left.

A shadow streaked behind him, he whirled expecting to see nothing when Loki lunged at him with a shout. The crashing force slammed them both to the ground. Thor’s head lashed back, slamming into a jutted rock.

Fiery pain exploded, rippling through his entire scalp.

Lightning struck the pine behind and with a groan; the towering structure fell with a thunderous crash.

Thor smashed his knees into Loki’s ribs with enough force to fracture if not break it. Loki let out a strangled cry; his nails tore at Thor’s face, slicing Thor’s lid and lips.

They grappled and wrestled, punching, bashing... Blow after blow…

It was dirty, it was messy.

The storm screams with the voice of Thor; a thunderstorm of emotion wrecks him. In that instant, he was neither God nor King. He was just an angry boy; lashing out in all consuming anger, pain, agony and sorrow that suffocate him.

He swung his fist, smashing into Loki’s nose with a sickening crack, knocking Loki off him.

Blood spattered.

Thor was barely up when Loki screamed, slamming himself at him, knocking Thor back to the mucky ground.

Loki’s grip at the rock in his hand was iron and he smashed it over Thor’s head.

Agony burst.

Thor's head rang. And again. Within that split of the second before the next blow, Thor thrust his fingers up; seizing Loki’s slippery wrist before Loki could bash him again and he squeeze and twisted it hard.

A loud crack whipped.

Loki shrieked, dropping the bloodied rock. Thor could feel the vambrance crush, he could feel bones shatter; crack and break in his grip and with a mighty wrench he threw Loki across the clearing.

Thick hot blood trickles down Thor's temple as he pushes himself up. His chest ached, tears of rage, tears of despair, tears of betrayal… rolled unbidden, mixing with the rain, as he watches Loki silently with all the unspoken words that are dead on his tongue.

Loki panted, getting to his feet. He was covered in mud; blood smeared his face, streaming down his nose.

The portion where the golden vambrance was crushed stabbed into Loki’s broken wrist. Blood rolled down his useless hand.

Thunders rumbled, lighting flashed as the rain plummet.

Loki lets out a humorless laugh.

“Is this all you can do?!” He spat. “Show me the boy who is baptized in blood! Show me the man whose grin so terrible that his enemies tremble to behold! The King that is the hurricane and the storm! The God that cannot be contain! Show me…Thor!”

“He is here…come…” Thor rasped; his fingers curled.

They charged.

Ice blade spiked from Loki’s left hand.

Thor swung his bloody fist.

Loki dodges, raising his blade. Too late was Thor to react when he saw the flash of blade stabbed down.

White blinding pain ripped up Thor’s leg as the blade punctured through his armor, piercing through his knee. With a shout, Loki smashed his elbow hard into Thor’s face, knocking Thor to the ground.

Thor gasped; white spots flashed across his vision and for a moment he was stunned.

In a heartbeat, Loki was on him. Frozen fingers flew to latch brutally at his muddy golden locks, dark lips crashed violently against his. Sharp icy pain exploded over his lips; razor teeth sunk deep into his lower lips.

Thor howled in pain and shock; brutal fingers latches at Loki’s muddy locks.

Something cold slithered down Thor’s throat.

Fire flickered wildly at the edge of Thor’s vision.

Before he could haul Loki off, a deep frigid coldness surged, spread through his lungs and clutches at every fiber of him, draining all of his strength. His grip loosened, and then it fell useless on the ground, as he struggled to even breathe. He gasped, chocked; his body twitched and shook as his vision started closing in.

He could see Loki who was straddling him lean back, his chest heaving. Those dark lips were dripping red and his cerulean face was smeared with blood and mud.

“Hush now…” Loki shushed.

Thor could see the exhaustion in those scarlet eyes as Loki caresses his cheek with the back of his dark nails almost tenderly, as if to sooth him.

 _Enough!_ He wanted to snarl. _Enough with your false love! Enough with your false affection!_  But all that left his darkening lips were soft chocked groans.

Beads of rain clung to the tip of Loki’s muddy ebony bangs. Thor’s armor fleck, and began to crack beneath the cold of Loki’s skin.

“Sleep my dearest King…” Loki whispered gently. “Sleep my Golden King…and may you dream…” Loki’s voice lulled, as darkness engulf Thor’s world. 

 

 

* * *

 

 

The clamor of shouts, the clamor of steel ringing against steel and ice was deafening and they clashed and blurred into one another. Iron boots smacking hard into the mud. Bodies piled, blood flowed. The thunders rumbled and the rain fall endlessly making the slope a slippery climb.

It was on the third day that Fenrir join the fray. Long teeth snapped through bones and powerful claws tearing through flesh.

Sif caught a glimpse of Loki riding on its back, casting his spells.

The earth shook, and tore apart. There was a loud piercing screech as foul mangled creatures crawled out. Men shouted curses, men begging for mercy… all receiving the same end…death. These foul creatures know no mercy.

Barely having time to look, Sif trusted her sword up, ripping through skin, muscle and heart. The Jotun was dead on his feet.

Emerald flames roared, blazing up the slope, burning Jotun and Aesir alike.

“Get him off that creature now!” Sif roared, as she wrenched her sword out. Blood sprayed.

It took three dozen warriors to make Fenrir reel, throwing Loki off. As long as Loki is on the ground, he could not have the leisure of time to weave a spell too destructive.

Steel scraped against ice.

 

* * *

 

Thor groaned; his consciousness returning but still he could not move. He could feel the rain falling on his face; he could feel the uncomfortable dampness on his back and the pain that hammered his body.

The sound of steel clashing against ice rang in a distance. The shouting…the screaming… The war has started.

He forces himself to open his eyes, but he could only manage a crack. His ears ranged ever loudly. His arms lay useless beside him no matter how much he willed it to move, managing only to curl his fingers. Mobility was starting to return, but it was slow.

 

* * *

 

 

One day blurred into the next; they did not stop. The rain did not stop falling…the fire did not stop burning…

Sif barely dodges a swinging blade. She kicks out with all her might, breaking the enemy’s knee.

The Jotun roared.

Sif shouted; swinging her sword up, she cleaved off half the Jotun’s face. A shower of blood poured down on Sif and the Jotun fell like an avalanche. Too late were she to get out of the way; and the next thing she knew she was face first in the mud, her lower body was crushed.

Lightning flashed.

Her head was ringing.

She pushes her torso up, her lips parted in agonizing pants. She looked down at the dead Jotun. His arm was bended at a grotesque angle from the fall; half his face was gone and she could see white sharp teeth lined what was left of his bloody jaws.

The cold of Jotun skin was leaving the corpse.

She shoved at him, wriggling, pushing; her nails clawing the mud beneath her, she freed herself. She grabs her fallen sword and forces herself to her shaking feet.

Her vision was getting blurry. She was covered in blood, sweat, flesh and mud. Her numb bloody fingers were shaking and the deep long ugly gash on her upper right arm was still bleeding and she could see her muscle and bones.

They were being slaughtered and Thor is still missing. But she knew he is alive. The storm was proof of that.

She looked up. The battle had moved higher up the slippery slope and only a handful remained on her portion.

She stumbled away from the dead Jotun.

She was moving uphill when movement at the corner of her eyes made her whirl; sword raised; to see a familiar face.

Loki…

Her heart thumped. Her every muscle seized.

“Would you care for one last dance?” Loki asked. His lips were split and bloody; multiple hideous gashes ribbon his arm and abdomen and she could see metallic rods beneath the filthy bandage that bind his right wrist.

 _“His sword hand…He shattered his wrist before joining the battle”_ Sif noted.

But it matters not to her.

She steps closer, her fingers tightened, her jaws clenched. Ice blade bloomed from Loki’s left hand.

“Do you remember my vow to you?” She asked coldly.

“Do you remember mine?”

“Aye…”

“Come to me, my Queen” Loki smiled.

Sif let out a shout and charged at Loki.

She swung her sword down. Loki raises his blade to meet hers head on. And so they begin their final tango.

Steel rang once…twice... thrice…

Sif came at him hard and fast. Every strike, every blow aimed to kill.

Just like all those decades ago, Loki could read her every move. And just like all those years ago, the ease of her footwork, the strength in her every blow, the fire that burn endlessly in her eyes, the ferocity of her features, that unwavering determination, that courage… Loki thought she was gorgeous… elegant… And woe is he, who could not see the beauty that is her.

Their weapons clashed over and over again in the song of ice and steel, filling their ears, vibrating through their bones. The dance of death. The song of death.

Loki dodges when Sif slashes for his head, striking the tree bark behind him. Wood chipped.

Loki let out a shout, driving his blade up; hard and fast, puncturing Sif’s armor piercing through her guts and out the back.

Blood spilled; coating Loki’s fingers.

She gasped.

Before Loki could twist the blade, she spat at his face. Loki flinched. With a cry Sif swung her bloody fist, cracking Loki’s jaw.

Pain exploded.

Loki stumbled back; almost losing his footing.

Sif lurches after him, ignoring the ice in her abdomen. She screamed; using both hands she raised her sword. Ice spiked from Loki’s hand. He had barely raised it when steel crashed down to meet his ice with bone jarring force, cracking the hastily formed weapon.

 _“Indeed…my Lady of the Death…”_ Loki slammed his knees into the gaping wound of Sif’s guts.

Strangled cry wrenched.

White blinding pain tore through Sif; a pain so intense for a moment it took all of her mind. And that split second was all it took.

 _“My Goddess of War…”_ Loki drove the cracked blade through her chest; stabbing through her heart.

Sif coughed; her eyes wide as though in surprise, her sword fell. Blood sputtered from her lips.

Loki releases his blade and he caught her in a fluid motion, pulling her against him intimately, before she could crumble to the ground.

Thick hot blood smeared between them.

Sif chocked; her shaking hand reached to grab Loki’s shoulder. Ice bit at her fingers, but she did not feel it.

“It’s okay…I’ve got you…I’ve got you…” Loki kisses her cheek with shocking intimacy.

The woman who broke every chain of tradition and convention that binds her. Long had the realm of gold seek to tame her…seek to douse the fire that is in her. But she burns the brighter. The stronger, until it blinds the eye to look upon her beauty. 

But it’s over now. No more pain. No more suffering. To the pearly Gates of Valhalla she will go where he cannot follow.

“Don’t…hu-rt…Thor…” She begged.

Loki turns to her. She saw sadness, she saw raw pain…

Her bloody fingers touch his face.

 _“Loki…”_ Her vision was tunneling. The sound ringing of steel, the screams of men, they were beginning to fade.

“You are loved…so loved…” She heard Loki’s voice.

And she found that she wanted to believe in his words. She wanted to believe that after everything she had fought for, stood for; at least someone would care that she is gone. She felt his lips on hers, kissing her as if a lover. She would kiss him back if she could.

If she had imagined what dying would be like, it was not this. If there was a word to describe how she felt in that last moment…it was happiness.

Her hand dropped. Her eyes drifted shut. And she died not alone thinking of the love she had never received from Thor, or her failings as a commander or how she was never a proper Aesir woman or the disappointment she was as an unmarried daughter. She died in Loki’s arm…told that she is so loved, as she is. And she lets herself believe him.

There was a wet noise when Loki pulls back slowly. His face was thick with her blood.

He was lowering her to the ground when he heard a shout from behind him.

“No!” The voice rang.

Loki whirled. Mjolnir, slammed into his chest, shattering his ribs and he was thrown across the slope. His body smash hard against the muddy ground, his head lashed back, slamming into ancient roots.

Loki coughed, fire sheered though his lungs.

Blood trickled down the back of his head.

He lifted his gaze, pain tearing through him with every move. He could see Thor, cradling Sif in his arm.

“No...No!” Thor gasped; his shaking fingers brushes Sif face with such painful tenderness.

Loki tried pushing himself up. Blinding pain ripped through him. He let out a gasped, his arms let out. He looked back at Thor. His blood ran cold at the fury of Thor’s expression bearing at him. Mjolnir crackled dangerously in Thor’s hand. 

Loki’s fingers curled; ice blade grew anew. His head was spinning, he could scarce breath.

There was a crunch behind Loki.

Helblindi and two of his men step between Thor and him.

“I shall be your opponent my Lord of Aesir” Helblindi said.

Fear struck Loki.

No…no…! Thor will kill Helblindi!

“Blindi…” Loki managed to croak faintly. It hurts to even speak.

“Take him” Helblindi ordered.

“ _No!_ _Let the warriors fight!_ _You take me away!”_   “No… Blindi…” Loki forced out, trying with agony to push himself up.

A Jotun warrior move to pick him up. Pain sheered, rippled through Loki’s entire body. He let out a strangled cry as he was hefted up. Helblindi did not even turn to regard him.

“Hel-blindi…” Loki mumbled; passing out.

Thor did not stop them from taking Loki though his eyes followed them until he could see them no more.

“Shall we?” Ice blade grew from each of Helblindi’s hand.

Thor lifted Mjolnir. At once thunders crashed, lightning streaked, slamming into Mjolnir and sizzled, crackling wildly over the entirety of Thor’s body. His eyes glowed and cracked with lightning. The earth groaned.  

 

 

* * *

 

 

In the dream, Loki was standing once again in that little cottage that was hidden in the snowy mountains. The walls were cracked and old, and the floor had been made of packed snow and dirt. A small fire crackled and glowed at the corner of the room. Unfinished wood carvings were laid messily on the little wooden table.

And Loki could see her…

Though she sat on the bed with her back to him; Loki knew it was her… Angrboða. His dearest Angrboða. A runt like him.

She hummed her sweet lullaby, rocking Hela in her arms.

Loki approaches her slowly, knowing that this is nothing more than a dream. Knowing that he should not dwell on them, but yet, he could not stop himself… He wanted to see her face again. Just one more time. Always one more time...

He reaches out to touch her shoulder.

“Oh Loki, you are back” She smiles, turning to look upon him.

Loki stilled; his every muscle seized and his lungs tightened painfully at the sight of her.

She was always so happy when he would return to their cottage. Always so happy, even with what little they had.

She needed no gold or jewels from Loki. She needed neither a crown nor a palace to reside. She demanded nothing of him and accepted that he must leave her for weeks or months on ends. She did not care that she was Loki’s little secret. She loves him whole heartedly as he is.

“I’ve returned…” Loki caresses his fingers over her slender features.

Translucent red eyes; long cascading hair as white as snow and as soft as satin. Not a single Jotun line marred her cerulean skin for she is a runt, a shame… Disowned at birth and cast aside the moment she was of age.

A fate that could easily have been his had he not been from the line of Kings or had his dam and sire cared a little more of public perception or had he been weaker.

“I’ve missed you…so much” His eyes burn, his chest hurt so badly he could hardly breathe.

He was crying and in that moment, he did not care. And even if he did care, he did not think he could stop the tears from falling. It was as if the wall he had built inside of himself had crumbled. All his anguish, his pain, his sorrows and fears, they came pouring; drowning him. He wanted to tell her everything… everything!

But she is dead. He killed her.

“Loki? What’s the matter?” She asked urgently.

Loki shook his head.

She frowned, placing Hela down in the cot beside the bed.

Loki was grateful that she did not place Hela in his arms. Even now, he could feel her foulness emanating from that bundle Angrboða had so lovingly held in her arms.

A hand reach to cup his face, dainty thumb wipes his tears away.

“My Lord…?” Angrboða whispered.

“I love you…so…so much…” Loki tells her.

He did not know when, but soon…he will not see her anymore. His dreams would once again be plague with the wrath of Hela. With every dark spell he cast, she draws closer. He knows Iduun would not sustain him for much longer.

These little dreams of Angrboða, of Thor and of what could have been…These emotions he feels…this love, this warmth… it would soon gradually be robbed of him again as it should be. Redemption, happiness, love…they are not intended for a soul as foul as his.

She smiles.

“As do I” She draws close to him, her fingers brushed the stray strands of his ebony bangs aside. 

Loki smiles painfully, tears rolled. He could feel an ice blade growing from his hand…He knew what came next.

“ _I need power or I am nothing…you understand don’t you, my love…?”_

“I love you Loki…” She said.

He nodded, her face blurred behind a veil of tears, but even so, he could hear her voice calling for him…

Loki… Loki…

Icy fingers touched him.

He groaned; pain tearing, clawing his entire body as his consciousness slowly return.

“Loki? Child…”

Loki moaned, forcing his hard heavy lids apart. His entire body was burning; his throat was so dry he could hardly speak. He could see a shadow moving in front of him.

“Loki…can you hear me?” The voice lulled.

Loki’s vision cleared and he could see Laufey kneeling down beside his bed. Laufey looked worried; he looked terrible, as if he hadn’t slept for weeks.

“Thank the Norns” Laufey breathes.

“Dam…” he croaked. He could barely move his swollen jaw.

“You are finally awake. I’ll get you some water” Laufey ordered the servants to bring water.

“ _Finally awake?”_ How long had he been out?

“We won” Laufey tells him. “We’ve lost quite some men, but we won”

“That’s…good… to hear…” Loki lifted an aching hand to touch the bandage on his chest. It was crusty with herbs and blood.

He remembers Sif…he remembers Thor…Helblindi… His guts twisted.

“The boy King came too late thanks to you. He may be powerful, but not even the son of Odin can take on an entire army” Laufey says.

“Dam…” Loki rasped.

“Aye…?”

“Blindi…Where… Helblindi…”

Laufey’s smile vanished.

“ _No…Please no…!”_ Loki begged.

“He’s been missing for over a month” Laufey said hollowly. “Most likely his body had burnt along with the rest on the slope”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there... Just want to clarify that the Jotun won that battle and not the entire war... 
> 
> And um...in the first scene with Fandral and Thor... that Fandral was just Loki shape shifting into him with some creative licensing... 
> 
> Just gonna leave this here k... :)


	23. The Promise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am finally back. Had been some crazy two months. And i'm so sorry about the long delay. Hope you guys are still reading this. T T. 
> 
> And I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year. :) May you have a blessed year. XD

The sky rumbled and the thick clouds clashes. Thunders shrieked drowning the roars of men and clashes of steel and ice.

Blood…fire…death… They were everywhere.

Thor’s shouts were deaf to their ears as his armies were being slaughtered in cold blood. He could not move; his feet would not move no matter how hard he tried. Laughter echoed in his ears.

The shrieks of these decadent creatures that crawled from the bowel of Yggdrasil made his skin crawled. They were humanoid, but rotted, hideous….Their limbs were bone, and they move on all fours and scurry like spiders. Their shrieks were horrifying; flesh eating insects flew from their mouth that was as dark as the abyss. Leaches and maggots, they crawled from their rotted mangled flesh.

He saw Hogun fending off one demented creature only to have more latching onto him. Black nails, tear at Hogun’s skin and their razor teeth ripped flesh from bones.

Hogun shouted when the creature sunk its disgusting teeth into his jugular and ripped his neck open. Blood poured, soaking his torn armor. He reeled.

Thor's shouts were lodge in his throat when another twisted Hogun’s head and tore it from shoulder.

At once Thor snapped his eyes open into the darkness of his tent. His breath came in mist and his body trembled. His arms pinned over his head ached and burn. There was wet noise of tearing flesh. With every move, pain sheered as the ice blade that punctured the palms of his hand tore his flesh.

He craned his head up to see his blood soaked hands.

“I trust you enjoy it?” Familiar voice whispered in the dark.

Thor turns to see Loki getting up from his chair on the other side of the tent.

“Should I show you more…?” Loki taunted, moving towards him. “Or do you prefer to read the reports which I am sure would arrive by the morning”

Thor tugged at his hand, but his limbs felt as if they were held to the ground with a thousand boulders rather than just blades _._

 _“This is not real… this is an illusion…”_ He reminded himself fiercely as he struggled to just to move his limbs.

“Don’t even bother…” Loki lowered himself.

“What do you want?” Thor growled.

“You seem upset…and here I thought I was doing you a favor. If memories serve me right, you dislike reading reports” Loki crawled up Thor’s naked body and straddled him. Emerald eyes graze mockingly over Thor’s sweaty features.

“Have you had enough?” Thor gritted.

Loki smirks.

“Another loss battle in the East…” Loki dragged the tip of an ice dagger over Thor’s sweaty cheek, breaking skin. Thor did not so much as flinch. “And the loss of another dear friend…How tragic…”

Thor looked away.

“Are you sure you should be fighting in the West?”

“Get out” Thor growled.

Loki laughs. “Hurts doesn’t it?”

“You are pathetic…”

“Am I?” With a move Loki stabbed the ice dagger through Thor’s shoulder.

Pain exploded. Thor gritted his jaw, refusing to make a sound.  _“This is not real…This is not real!”_

“Won’t you scream for me love?” Loki twisted the blade in Thor’s shoulder.

White hot pain tore up Thor’s arms and clawed down his ribs. Thor gasped, clamping his teeth together. _“This is not real! This is not real!”_

“Stubborn as always” Loki brutally grabs Thor’s jaw turning the God to him. “You know…I have never believed in an eye for an eye…I always pay it back with interest…”

Thor was unfazed. “I didn’t kill your brother… you did Loki…” He whispered.

Loki hissed. His face twisted into something ugly as he roughly released Thor’s aching jaw.

“Do not mock me Aesir! Before this war is over, I will make you wish you were dead!” With that, Loki faded.

At once movement returns to Thor’s limbs and the pain faded to a dull throb. Thor did not bother to check his injuries because he knew he would find none. Loki was never there. It was an illusion.

It was not the first time Loki had visited him, nor would it be the last. And indeed Loki did return from time to time… with grotesque vision of Thor’s armies being slaughtered in cold blood; with Volstagg being skewered. Then there were times that Loki returns to taunt him either in the visage of Lady Sif or simply a lover. And sometimes Loki returns to hurt him, carve his skin and make him bleed.

Over the decades, Loki became increasingly cruel, unpredictable and had even seemed to take genuine delight in his torture. A delight that was not present when it started.

Thor could guess why…Loki’s dark seid…

Though  Thor could not say for sure what was truly happening to the trickster, but what he did know was that it will all comes to the same inevitable end. Loki will die as a shell of his formal self, stripped of everything that was him.

Thor had wondered not for the first time, if those mangled creatures Loki summoned from the very bowels of Yggdrasil herself were past casters consumed by black magic.

 

* * *

 

 

Fools all of them. He is surrounded by fools!

“This is trickery! I’ve told you that! Why must you bother me with such foolishness again and again?!” Loki demanded furiously. “Are you so blind that you cannot see it for what it is?!”

“Then what of the markings? How would they have known?” Laufey demanded.

“Because I showed Thor those on my body centuries ago!”

Byleistr took the letter from Laufey and read it for the third time. It was the same demand as all the letters before. They demand a negotiation for Helblindi. And refusal would allegedly mean more pieces of Helblindi arriving.

Laufey had been unnerved when he received an ear, then the first finger, then the second, the third and then a whole hand with the missing digits. At that point, Laufey was more than willing to agree to the negotiation; but Loki would hear none of it.

 _"_ _A lie!_  " Loki had declared. _"_ _Helblindi is dead! They are playing at your sentiments!"_

Byleistr placed the letter down and pulled the bloodied cloth closer to him.

A large chunk of bloodied Jotun skin and flesh lay upon it, bearing the distinctive mark of Laufey’s house. It was a rough cut from a butcher’s knife from the look of it. The stanch was raw and coppery. Byleistr thought he could taste the disgusting metallic tang at the back of his tongue, and it was making him sick. He pushes the thing away from him.

“A damn good trick if it is one…” Byleistr muttered.

“A trick nonetheless!” Loki declared loudly. “They are desperate and they should be! The north is ours. The east has almost fallen! The elves may be vanquished but the west had burnt. They have scarcely anything left!”

“Desperation can be dangerous” One of the councilmen spoke.

“Desperate or not…they cannot summon the dead to life” Loki insisted.

“Or Helblindi still lives” There was a tinge of hope in Laufey’s voice.

Loki slammed his hand on the ice table, turning on Laufey with red eyed fury. “Helblindi is dead!” Loki spat. “And you are blinded by grieve, hope…and _love…_ You are not in your right mind to make any decision my King!”

Laufey darkened. The temperature plummeted, the air prickled, biting at Tyr’s skin.

Tyr cleared his throat quickly. “Why exactly are you so opposed to negotiation my Prince may I ask?”

Loki scoffed, turning to their Lord General as if to say such stupidity did not warrant an answer.

“And what exactly did you think they would request for, Lord Tyr?” Loki asked pleasantly.

“Land obviously, my Prince. But as you say, we hold the stronger position. I would think the terms they come up with would not be so bitter if they expect us to swallow them”

“You would think…” Loki sneered. “Are you trying my patience for idiocy?!"

“…”

“The Aesir’s are not to be trusted...they are prideful, arrogant! They will lie, they will manipulate. Sweeten your ears with honeyed words and when your back is turn, they will tear you down and take everything”

 _“And you would know wouldn’t you dearest brother”_ Byleistr leans back in his chair. “So what do you suppose we do?”

“The raven bearing these disgusting gifts came from their base just over the falls. Ready the army and I will lead the charge”

The councilmen nodded, looking from one to another in agreement.

“We need not negotiate with those savages. And this ridiculous meeting is over” Loki stood up; turning to leave when Laufey suddenly spoke.

“Quite right you are. It is over” Laufey said. “We will negotiate. Lord Tyr, send a raven to the Aesir”

Byleistr tensed.

Loki turned on Laufey with cold dripping fury. And for a moment it was as if the entire world was holding her breath.

“You will do no such thing…” Loki whispered dangerously.

“You are not the King” Laufey reminded Loki. “And the armies are mine. And I will take them from you if you disobey my orders”

“How dare you!” Loki exploded.

The icy ground trembled, shadows bleeds from the cracks and darkness creeps up the tent. The oil lamp hanging over them flickered wildly, threatening to snuff. There was a whisper of fearful gasped and shouts. Some fell to their knees in terror while other were frighten stiff in their seats.

 _“_ _Mercy! Mercy!”_   They pleaded.

“Prince!” Tyr leaps to his feet, ice blade spiked in his hand as he rushed to Laufey’s side. The three guards standing behind Laufey was already by the King.

Laufey was unfazed; his scarlet eyes were unyielding as they bore into Loki’s.

“You dare threaten me?!” Loki shoved his chair out of the way. “I who gave you the North! I who made your dream a reality!” Loki stalks towards Laufey, index finger jabs at his own chest.

_“Mercy! Mercy!”_

“My Prince! Calm yourself!” Tyr pointed his blade at Loki.

Loki did not even seem to hear him.

“I who elevate the name of Jotunheim in the eyes of every realm! A name that realms now speak with fear and reverence rather than mockery! I gave you all of this and you dare turn against me?!” His voice rumbled; filling their ears, their mind.

_"Mercy! Mercy!"_

Anger, hot red anger, clouds his mind, darkness spreading, burning through his veins like a plague. Ice was forming in his hand. The whisper of death sung sweetly in his ears, in his blood…  _Kill Kill Kill…He dares mock you… he dares threaten you…he dares defy you…show him fear…show him pain…show him the power that you command…Kill Kill…_

“You will come no further!” Tyr roared.

Loki did not even realize he was already across the long table until the tip of Tyr’s blade touched his chest. Blood red eyes glared into blood red one.

“Back away please my Prince” Tyr ordered.

Loki hissed, taking a step back, then two. His hand reached to grab the top of the chair Tyr had sat moments before, both in fury and in a desperate effort to cling on to his slipping sanity.

 _“He is your dam…he is your King!”_ Loki reminded himself.

“You know you can cut through these guards quite easily. Are you sure you will not kill me?” Laufey asked to Tyr’s horror.

Loki hissed. “You are selling your people for one mere Jotun”

“I sell no one. Simply to end the killings if I could. Haven’t enough blood been spilled in this war?”

Loki laughs. “Curious. I did not hear that from you before pieces of _Helblindi_ started showing up”

“…”

“Is that the lie you will tell yourself to make you sleep better at night for betraying your people?”

“And what lies do you tell yourself in the dark of night when your people die by the millions in this war you create? That it is for the glory of Jotunheim?” 

The bold accusation beneath the King’s words shocked the room and took Loki’s words away for an instance.

Byleistr resisted the urge to smile.

Loki looked to Lord Tyr and the guards with their raised blade by his dam’s side; then to the councilmen, all who lowered their heads refusing to meet his gaze. None will speak for him. He wanted to laugh.

Loyalty… let it not be said that Jotuns have no loyalty.

These men still stand unmoving with a King who started and loss a war that reduce Jotunheim into a shell of her former glory; a King that started and loss a war that killed millions and still continues to kill even when the bloodshed had long ended.

No… Loki would not group Lord Tyr and the guards with the councilmen.

Tyr and his warriors are loyal to a degree; while the councilmen are simply flattering cowards that would sell even their King to save their own hide. If Loki was to murder Laufey right before them, they would all fall to their knees to worship him at the snap of his fingers. Why Laufey hadn’t kicked them off the table was a mystery seeing as Laufey took no advice from them. But all the same, none stand with him now.

 _“_ _I gave you everything…I gave all of you everything you could ever ask for…but it will never be enough will it…?”_ Loki thought bitterly, angrily. _Then make them pay…make them scream…You know you want to…_ His blood whispered.

He roughly released the chair and stepped back.

“Spit then on the sacrifice of your warriors. Do as you will…” Loki said.

Laufey could not have been more surprise at Loki’s compliance. He would have thought it would take a lot more than this. But all at once, he felt guilt when Loki turns to leave, his raven feathered cloak sweeps behind him.

“Loki…” Laufey called uncertainly. “I did not mean what I say”

“…”

“But I cannot abandon him if there is a chance that he is alive. He is my child. And he is your brother…or have your forgotten your brother?”

“Helblindi is dead… Forgive me if I will not join you in your delusion” Loki left.   

 

 

* * *

 

 

The evening drizzle had woken a hundred sleeping smell and made them ripe and strong again. The musky scent of earth, and rotten leaves and barks. Veil of icy mist covered the ground as he creep away from the base beneath the shadow of night. The sounds from his boots were the faintest of crunch. Towering trees with barks the color of night stood all around him. Their enormous branches that spread out high over them are bare and dead. Where once was life, now death reign. Where once was light, laughter and joy, now darkness, weeping and sorrow plagues.

Over the centuries Asgard had burn, withered, and rotted where Loki touches. Loki had single handedly torn the realm apart, burn it to the ground.

Loki is chaos, Loki is cruelty, Loki is madness, Loki is death… Even the Jotuns says so in harsh whispers.

From beneath his dark hooded robes, he eyed the thousands of red eyed crows perched on dry dead branches warily. Loki’s ears and eyes. The crows cawed loudly one after another, in the numbers, blending, filling the entire forest with their terrible voices as the mist thickened. Then came a voice. “Sneaking away from your camp in the dead of night like a thief again your Grace?”

Thor’s fingers curled tightly over Mjolnir by his side. He took a deep breath, turning to see Loki. Or rather the illusion of Loki.

The wind blows, caressing over Thor’s faces like dainty fingers.

The jewels in Loki’s braid twinkled beneath the silver light of the moon. His skin was pale white, but his braided hair was black as the abyss. His lips were dark and his pale green eyes looked as if they were powdered with dark shades giving him a sort of phantom-like beauty.

 _“_ _So harsh and beautiful is the face of death…”_ Thor thought. As much as he loath to admit it, there is an ominous beauty to Loki despite everything.

“Good evening Loki…” He muttered.

Loki smile. “These are dangerous times to wander alone…And you are on Jotun land…”

“…”

“Come” Loki glided towards Thor.

His feathered cloak held by golden broach with emerald stone parted to reveal that Loki wore only the usual fur across his hips.

“Let me accompany you for your usual stroll by the river” Loki wrapped his arms about Thor’s with shocking intimacy.

Thor almost wrenched his arm away from the devil but he resisted. He will not give the trickster that satisfaction.

“I wish to look upon your face…” Loki said.

Thor pushes his hood off; his eyes looked straight ahead.

“So tense…” Loki purred. Black nails caress Thor’s cheek.

Thor tightened his jaws. It was always hard for Thor to accept that the Loki before him was simply an illusion...when he could feel the weight to Loki’s hand against him, feel his frigid coldness, feel the hardness of his fingertips that caresses his skin; taste the ice on his tongue when Loki demands a kiss from him, and smell the scent of pine and blood that lingered over the prince.

But Loki had told him once… “ _The sense of touch, the sense of taste, of smell… of cold and pain…even fear…they are all creations of the mind…”_ And what is of the mind; is fair game to Loki.

“I would like to be back before dawn” Thor started walking with Loki by his arm.

Black feathered cloak dragged behind Loki as the mist swirled beneath them.

It did not take long for them to reach the river on the other side of the forest. The water flow in a gentle stream and all that could be heard was the trickle of water.

Be it that the cicadas had stopped singing their melody in this winter that curse the land. Be it that the fireflies and frogs are gone. Be it that there are no fishes swimming in the river; no lilies that grow. The water gave still Thor some semblance of peace in his world of chaos and anguish.

“What you enjoy about this desolated place is beyond me” Loki looks towards Thor who did not turn to regard him or looked at him at all, all night.

Loki reached up to capture Thor’s chin between his fingers, turning the God towards him.

“Do not be so cold” Loki said. “I am here to reward you”

“…”

“You impressed me. The son of Odin has it in him to torture” Loki smirks. “I want to give you a kiss…”

Thor did not respond, but nor did he pull back when Loki leans up. Ice cold breath brushes Thor’s lips.

Thor closes his eyes when Loki reaches to cup his face with tenderness that reminded him of the Loki he had loved. And when Loki kissed him, for a moment he could do nothing more than to return the kiss with equal passion. His hands slipped beneath Loki’s cloak, kneaded up the side of Loki’s toned body. His fingers brush over the scars, the toned muscles. And his mouth opens for Loki.

There was urgency in their kiss; an all out battle of lust, desire, passion and anger, so much anger…

Then suddenly Thor pulls back. “Enough Loki” He looked away.

Loki laughs. “Is this guilt you feel for torturing Jotuns?”

“…”

“Come now” Loki place a finger beneath Thor’s chin, turning Thor back to him. A sinister smile on Loki’s lips. “Tell me truly, how does it feel to embrace your true nature? You enjoyed it didn’t you?”

“You ask me if I enjoy having your brother tortured?” Thor sneered in disgust.

“Hmm…I think we have enough of charades don’t you think?”

“This is no charade. I will have this negotiation eve-”

“Yes yes. You wish to negotiate” Loki cuts in impatiently. “But tell me, who is it really that you are torturing?”

“The second Prince of Jotunheim. Helblindi Laufeyjarson” There was no hesitation in Thor’s voice.

All smiles vanished from Loki’s lips. Thor saw the slap coming and accepted it with a smile design to irritate.

“I will not be mocked!” Loki spat. “Helblindi is dead!”

“Did you see his body?” Thor challenged.

“…”

“He lives Loki. I spared him on that slope” Thor tells him.

“I do not believe you” Loki gritted.

“I think you do” Thor said. “You know my answer to your question before I even speak it. You are just here to see if I speak it true”

“…”

“And you the God of Lies have found no lies in me. Or why would you be so enraged”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Fandral’s steps thudded and echoed up the winding steps as he makes his way to the bowel of Asgard prison. The stench of waste, of rot and raw open flesh lingered in the air. The torch in his hand flickered as a gust of wind funneled through the gaps between the old stone walls.  Black splotches of old blood stained the cold structure and on many parts there were nail marks of desperate prisoners that had once clawed walls and steps.

He knew the marks were made during the last prison break. He was still a child then. It was said that the prisoners broke free, killed the guards and were charging up this narrow steps. In a bid to take control, the head guard had bolted the door on the top and let loose poisonous gas into these narrow steps.

The screaming he was told was terrifying as the gas rotted their skin from flesh; rotted their lungs and sheered down their throat as they gasped for breath. You could hear it beyond the thick door. The thumping, the scratching as they banged and clawed at the door in agony and terror. Their shrieks for mercy were a thing of nightmare or so he was told.

Fandral tried not to look at the marks. The sight always made his skin crawl.

At the bottom of the steps there was a sizable landing. The four guards sitting by the door looked up from their poker game.

“Ah! Another Jotun lover” One grunted, throwing down his cards.

“Good evening sir” Fandral smiled.

“Yea, yea…I know what you lot want” He stood up from his wooden stool and lumbered pass Fandral stinking of mead towards the bolted door. He sorted through the massive set of keys that were chained to the leather belt that girdled his waist until he found one that fit and turned the lock.

“Thank you” Fandral said.

The men muttered under his breath as he returned to his game.

Fandral shouldered aside the heavy metallic door and stepped into foul darkness. The door bang shut behind him as he raised his burning torch. The air was stale and it stunk terribly of piss, shit, blood, rot and decaying flesh. He had to fight not to gage at it.

The stone beneath his boots were cracked and oily. Three dozen metallic doors lined the narrow path. He could hear banging in some and wailing in others. These are solitary cells for the worst of criminals; small and uncomfortable even for an average Aesir. But during this war, it had been used for the more defiant Jotun prisoners. 

There were half a dozen armed guards standing outside the cell when Fandral arrived. Each of them held a torch in one hand and rested the other over the hilt of their sword. The thick rusty metallic door was wide open and he could hear the metallic scraps of chains against stone ground. The guards gave Fandral a nod when they saw him. Fandral return it with a smile as he laid his torch by the door.

There was a large figure at the back on the narrow cell, and a much smaller one kneeling at his knees.

“Ah…My Lord of Aesir…” The Jotun looked at Fandral with unconcealed anger.

His long unwashed bone pale locks fell over his naked shoulders and down to his waist were in ropes and tangles. But even so, you could still see the power and the beauty that is in him. That unfailing will to live…to fight and to survive.

If anyone has eyes, they would see that Jotuns are not creatures to be tamed or enslaved. They are unbending, unbowed and unbroken…Proud, strong, and magnificent. They are hope, they are strength, they are pride and they are courage. Oh how blind had the realms been to not see it before…

“Good evening Helblindi” Fandral greeted. “And to you too my prince”

Baldur turns to regard him from where he knelt on the floor. 

“Good evening Ser” He soaked his bloodied cloth into a basin of hot herbs.

“You missed training again and your tutor was not most please when he went to the Queen. She would have you go to her when you are finish here”

“…”

“She worries”

“I know…”  Baldur placed the soaked cloth over the Jotun’s infected stump.

Helblindi flinched. 

“Hold still!” Baldur said.

Helblindi ignored Baldur, looking instead at Fandral.

“How the hospitality of Asgard has deteriorated” He said humorlessly, motioning to his cell with his functional hand.

The chains clinked. His limbs were chained with iron to the narrow wall and mucky ground and the chains linked from one to another. The cell was so low Helblindi could barely kneel. The distance between the two walls was scarcely wider than his shoulders.

“You brought this upon yourself” Fandral told him.

“Have I?”

“You were granted a cell in the main prison. A cell befitting of your station and yet you had repeatedly proven that you cannot be trusted”

“You have got to be joking” Helblindi laughs humorlessly.

“Have we not given you comfort in your cell? A clean bed, food, water, books, a cell large enough for you to move, and cold enough to be comfortable, anything you would ask for. What was it that you lack?”

Helblindi shook his head; letting out broken chuckles. “Yes yes…you Aesirs have been most generous. And I should repay your generosity by being an obedient pet yes?”

“I simply meant it is foolishness to attempt escape. You knew you were never going to succeed” 

“You were cutting me into pieces!” He slammed right fist against the stone wall, shocking Baldur.

But neither the guards nor Baldur was worried of an attack. Helblindi was always the more reasonable of Jotun prisoners even when enraged. 

“What was I to do?!” Helblindi demanded.

“Forgive me” Fandral whispered.

He did not mean to put Helblindi in so much pain. Helblindi freed him back then, he had not forgotten. But there is only so much he could do.

“Are you here to cut me again?” Helblindi growled.

Baldur whipped his head back at Fandral.

“No…” Fandral said. “I am simply here to deliver the Queen’s message. Laufey has agreed to negotiate and someone will be send to confirm you are indeed alive in a few days.”

“What of Loki?”

“Does it matter? Laufey is King. Not Loki” Fandral reached down to pick up some fresh bandage and a spare pair of gloves.

“That may be. But I would work on convincing the crown prince if I were your King. And do tell your King, that the crown prince has a certain attachment to this place called Fyrisvellir the last time I saw him. And I do not think it is simply for the beauty she has to offer”

“You seem very helpful” Fandral said suspiciously.

“I wish to leave this war in no more pieces than I already am”

“I will pass the message along” Fandral reached for the dirty bandage wrapped over Helblindi’s torso. “The bandage could take awhile. Perhaps we could have another history lesson of Jotunheim?”

“Yes please!” Baldur beamed.

Baldur was a strange child Helblindi found. Always so eager for more stories from the land of ice. The child speaks with more sense and reason than men twice his age and he held no hatred or blame against the Jotuns despite everything.

 _“Tell me stories you grew up with. The history you were taught. The culture you grew up in”_ Baldur had come to his cell with a bizarre request decades ago.

 _“Why?”_ He had asked.

 _“To stop the war, we need to understand each other. When I’m old enough to sit in my brother’s court, I want to give him good council”_ the child had said.

 _“_ _Why not learn them from your tutors?”_

 _“_ _How could they teach me when they see only monsters?”_

_“You do not believe I am a monster?”_

_“We are different…but I see no monster”_

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was a day’s ride to Fyrisvellir from the golden city and a week’s ride from the North border. Each would be permitted to bring only a small band of a hundred warriors as their protection and no more. The Jotuns were greeted by the boy King at the gates of the city and showed to the campsite that had been prepared for them.

Loki was laying on his makeshift bed of fur when Thor came to him. He did not even turn to regard the King. His scarlet eyes looked pointedly at the side his fur tent.

“I’ve brought you some fruits” Thor said. “I thought you might be hungry. You did not join us for dinner”

“Forgive me if I refuse to be dragged through your pathetic attempt at flattering my dam and brother”

“Loki…” Thor placed the ornate glass bowl of apple on a small table. “Will you accompany me for a walk?”

“...”

“You know… I thought you haunted me because you thought I killed your brother. Should you not be please that he lives?”

“Get out” Loki growled.

“Alright…” Thor said gently. “Good night Loki…”

Loki did not offer Thor a reply.

Loki did not show up for the negotiation on the first day or any that follow; though perhaps that was a good thing in hindsight. Laufey was said to be the more reasonable of the two and even then the negotiation was not going well.

Thor wanted the East, Laufey wanted Helblindi, that was simple enough. But Thor would not release Helblindi, insisting to have the Jotun prince as an honored guest in his house while Laufey would only allow Thor to appoint a governor to govern the East.

 _“A hostage!”_ Laufey had spat.

“ _An honored guest!_ ” Thor insisted.

_“I refuse! Return my prince and I will allow an Aesir to govern the East”_

_“Under your advice you mean! A governor is nothing more than a figurehead! In essence the East will still be ruled by Jotunheim! No!”_

The only thing Laufey had unofficially agreed upon was regarding the Northern borders. Over the century, the Jotun had built a wall of ice sealing the North from the rest of Asgard.

“ _I do not ask for the return of the North. I ask only that you open your gates…”_ Thor had said. “ _Let my people unite with their families”_

_“What have you to give in return?”_

_“_ _Nothing your Grace. But a chance at peace between our people”_

 _“_ _…”_

 _“_ _I am offering a chance for our people to learn from one another… to understand each other…so that we do not plunge ourselves into another war”_

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was full dark when Loki went down to the bank of the frozen river. The wind blow, the snow fell all around him, covering the earth in a thin veil of white. Red and green were the color of auroras that danced across the diamond sky.

The willows that once grew along the riverbank, were now bared and their trunks dry and dead. The flowers that glow in all their wondrous beauty beneath the moon, the golden crickets that leap from lilies to lilies, the spirits of the water...they are all memories of a distant past.

The golden temple at the top of the hill that used to glow with the flames of a thousand candle framing its golden steps were in rubbles and her grandeur steps were cracked and broken.

All that is gold has turned to rust. Asgard is no longer the symbol of wealth and power, but a symbol that even the mighty will fall.

The crow perched on his shoulder cawed loudly.

“He cannot have vanished…find him…” His fingers curled. “Find him!”

The crow screeched and took off into the sky.

He fell to his knees, his head hurts. He had barely slept since the negotiation started about a week ago. Tirelessly he seeks for Helblindi with his seid to no avail. And his spies had turned up nothing.

As long as Helblindi lives, Laufey would surrender it all. He cannot have that. He cannot!

He must find Helblindi, and end him before the negotiation comes to fruition. That way, Thor would have nothing to trade.

Asgard will fall, Asgard must fall.

The war has taken death of uncountable numbers on both sides. When the warriors battle, they are fueled by anger and revenge. But once they had settled down into a time of peace, they would start to mourn their deaths. Then, loyalty will become treachery; all their happiness that the war has ended will turn to ashes in their mouth and admiration for their crown prince that had given them so much victory would give way to blind anger and condemnation.

They will blame him before long even if it was Laufey who surrendered the conquered lands. What have they gained from this war but death, they would whisper behind his back.

They will burn him! They will crucify him! Loki cannot have this.

He cannot imagine returning to that state in which he was not revered!

There is only one way Loki will have this war end. Either with Asgard on her knees or not at all!

There was the sound of steps behind him. Loki rose to his feet.

“I thought I might find you here” Thor said.

“Then you should not have come”

“Loki”

“…”

“You’ve accompanied me over the many decades with your illusions. So why will you now not even look at me when I stand before you in flesh and blood?”

“…”

“Loki” Thor stood beside the prince. His gloved hand reached uncertainly for the prince.

Loki was surprised at the touch, at once wrenching his hand away. His blood red gaze snapped to Thor in confusion and something akin to fear.

“What do you think you are doing?!” He demanded.

“No more illusions” Thor said. “I want to hold you, who is flesh and blood before me…” Thor reached out again to take Loki’s hand. This time Loki did not pull away.

The way in which Thor looked at him stilled him. Those eyes… those cerulean eyes that had always looked at him without fear or disgust… looked at him as if he was perfect as he is. How he longed for them. How he missed them…

He lowered his gaze; icy fingers tightened over Thor’s, his thumb brushes over the smooth leather painfully. There was a warm stirring in his chest that he thought he knew but could not remember. And he found that he did not want to let go. 

“Indeed you are rusted beneath all that gold” Loki said. “You still desire me despite everything”

“Perhaps we are not so different” Thor said.

Fandral had passed to him Helblindi’s message. Thor believes Loki was attached Fyrisvellir because it was the place where he first told Loki that he is wanted just as he is, and in any form, in any image, be it Jotun or Aesir. There is a part of Loki that longed to be accepted as he is Thor knows. And there is a part of Loki that loves him, or so Thor wants to believe.

As of now, Thor would use anything to reach Loki even if it meant using himself. He did not doubt the truth in Helblindi’s warning. Laufey may be King, but Loki is the true danger.

“It’s beautiful here” Thor said suddenly.

Loki frowned as if to question Thor’s sanity.

Thor smiled. The snow fell, covering his golden hair in specks of white. His cerulean eyes almost seem to glow in the dark.

“There is beauty in everything if you are willing to see it” He looked across the white frozen river that seem to glow in the dark and the magnificent aurora filled sky.

"..."

“Do you fancy some skating?” 

“Can you skate?” Loki was surprised.

“No…but I know you can. I was told that you enjoy them”

Again there was that stirring in Loki’s chest.

“I do” The words came to Loki unbidden.

It was a long time since he had done this…so so long ago. It was as if it was in another lifetime and perhaps it was.

It was in a life when he was happier, more carefree and oblivious to the taunts of his dam’s court to his size.

 _"Catch me if you can!"_ He remembers laughing and screaming in abandon joy, urging his dam and sire to chase him across the ice.

A small smile touched Loki’s lips. He knelt down to Thor’s boots and fashioned an ice blade beneath his shoes. He did the same to his own and when he stood up, he shed his Jotun face.

“Come” Loki pulls Thor onto the ice.

In the end they did more falling than actual skating. But they laughed and shouted. And for a moment, the war, the pain, the scheming, the fear, the anger…everything, they fell away.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thor was breaking his fast when Bragi came to his tent.

“Your Grace” Bragi bowed.

“You are early” Thor commented.

“Forgive me, but Laufey had asked for the negotiation today to be postponed to tomorrow”

“Did he say why?” Thor sliced his cheese with a small dagger, putting the chunk on his plate.

“He asked me to pass on his offer and he trust that you would need the time to think it over”

“Go on…”

“May I sit your Grace?”

“Ple-” The words were still on Thor’s tongue when Bragi pulls out the chair beside Thor and took his seat. Thor raised his brows but Bragi did not seem to notice.

“Actually the offer came late last night”

“I should have been told at once” Thor frowned.

“I know”

“And…?”

“Forgive me your Grace. It won’t happen again” Bragi reached for the jar of juice and poured himself a glass.

Thor placed his dagger down. It was obvious at that point that Bragi is stalling. And Thor wanted to know why. What offer could Laufey have made that would require him an entire day to consider and his General to delay telling him.

“What did Laufey offer?” Thor asked.

“The Jotun king is out of his mind”

“Tell me nevertheless”

“The East that you want…” Bragi placed his cup on the table.

“And what did he ask in return?”

“You to release his prince and to wed his crown prince”

Thor blinked.

Was he hearing this right? Laufey was offering him the crown prince of Jotunheim and the East if he simply releases Helblindi? That seems a ridiculously generous offer. He must be missing something. Kings are not known for kindness and certainly not a Jotun king.

“Laufey will have me make Loki my Queen?” Thor clarifies.

“The other way round your Grace” Bragi corrected. “You will step down as King, stay in Jotunheim and…you know…” Bragi did not even seem to be able put it in words.

For a moment Thor did not know what to say; so Bragi went on.

“The East will be your wedding gift…and you may give it to whomever you please or rule it as your own. You may also hold Helblindi as your honored guest until the wedding is completed if it worries you, though Laufey will have two of his warriors at his child’s side at all times”

Thor took a sip of his juice, gathering his thoughts. His guts twisted and he was feeling sick. He could give to Asgard some land that was taken, he could possibly return Asgard to her formal glory, he could end this war, create a bridge between their people… all he has to do was take this offer and sacrifice himself.

Is that not what Kings are for? To make the sacrifice no one could.

So why was he hesitating?

 

 

* * *

 

 

Loki exploded into a fit of rage when Laufey told him of the match _._

“How dare you! How dare you make such an offer without my consent!” Loki bellowed. “I am the crown prince of Jotunheim! The crown prince do you hear me?! How dare you bargain me as if I were a bag of grain!”

“Hardly a bag of grain! I am giving him to you, not you to him” Laufey tried to explain.

But Loki would not hear of it.

“Get out! Get out!” Loki screamed.

“Loki!”

“Leave!” Loki hurled a pitcher at Laufey.

Without effort Laufey move out of the way and the pitcher smashed into a thousand pieces on the cold hard ground.

“Loki, speak to me please” Laufey pleaded.

Loki shook his head. His head hurts and his chest felt like it was going to tear. His fingers flew to seize the side of his ebony locks and he fell onto his knees and started to cry. His mouth parted but not a sound would leave his constricted throat as tears fell uncontrollably. 

Laufey could not have been more astonished at the fold of event. He had not seen Loki cry since he was a child not even grown to his knees.

“Oh Loki…” Laufey closes the distance between them. He knelt to his knees and pulls Loki into his arms.

His child...his beautiful child....Oh what would he not give to take away Loki's insecurities, his fears, his pain, his anguish... 

Loki did not fight him, dark nails dug into Laufey’s arm.

Loki felt so small, so thin and so cold beneath his feathered cloak. And though Loki is in his arms, breathing and alive; still it felt as if he was holding no more than a corpse. And it terrifies him more than anything he had ever known.

“ _He needs to stop using his black magic…”_ Laufey knew. _“The war has to stop”_

“I trusted...you…” Loki struggled to breathe.

“I’m sorry…I’m so sorry…” Laufey whispered.

“…”

“I saw how happy he made you and I want you to be happy…I want you to wake up to someone one day…” Laufey tells Loki.

“…”

“I know you want the admiration of your people. I know you want the crown and you will have them Loki…I promise you that…But it can be lonely too. It is not my wish for you to spend your life alone...”

“People will whisper…” Loki sniffed. “That I started this war… for this… for an Aesir’s cock!”

“No one will think that” Laufey promised. “Have a little faith in your people” 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Thor was waiting with Bragi in the negotiation tent well before Laufey and Byleistr showed up. Thor greeted them, but that was about all he did. Bragi did all the talking to iron out the last of the details because Thor thought if he opened his mouth he would command Bragi to stop the negotiation. He would tell Bragi that he had changed his mind. That he will not step down after all and it was all a great mistake.

“We propose the wedding to be in another hundred years” Bragi said. “I beg your forgiveness but surely you understand that my King cannot simply abandon the throne at the snap of a finger. Let us make the preparations and give time for Prince Baldur to grow. He is much too young still to take his brother’s place”

“I suppose that is acceptable Ser”

Thor would have laughed at the overly polite way in which the two were carrying on if he didn’t feel like throwing up. Bragi have no love for the Jotun King and Laufey thought it beneath him to negotiate with a General. As for Byleistr, the one the Aesir warriors had nicknamed 'Aphrodite' both to speak of his beauty and as an insult for his rather androgynous features, Thor thought he was looking quite please.

“We could have two weddings if it will please you your Grace. One on Jotunheim and one on Asgard” Bragi was saying when Thor noticed a shadow creeping up the door of the tent.

Then all at once there was a scream in the wind that made Thor’s hair stand on ends, the tent shook. Before anyone could move, it was pitch black as if a shadow had blinded them all. And as fast as it came it was gone.

“Dam!” Byleistr shouted when the light came back.

Laufey was clutching his open throat, a red tide drenched down his chest, his fingers and spilled from his lips like vomit.

Thor and Bragi leap to their feet. Byleistr gave them one terrified look and bolted out the tent, shouting for his warriors before anyone could stop him.

Laufey collapsed onto the icy ground.

At once Thor was by Laufey’s side.

“Stay with me! You need to stay with me!” Thor pressed his gloved hand over the King’s open throat.

There was so much blood, so so much blood.

Laufey grabs the side of Thor’s neck with his bloodied hand. It did not hurt Thor, the Jotun ice cold skin was starting to warm.

“Sa-ve…Lo-ki…” Laufey chocked.

“You are not going to die!” Thor insisted, putting more pressure on the wound. “You are going to live you hear me?!”

“My chi-ld…sa-ve him…sa…”

Thor could feel the King’s life slipping beneath his fingers and see the light dull from his eyes.

The King died.

“We need to go!” Bragi said urgently. “We need to alert our warriors now! They think we kill their King!”

Thor knew Bragi is right. The negotiation is over. Byleistr may know the truth, but something tells Thor that 'Aphrodite' will not be vouching for them. 

 


	24. The Final Act

Loki tilted his head to the side; his slender fingers move down the column of his neck. From the ice mirror of his vanity, he could see grey patches of dead flesh staining his skin and it was ever slowly spreading. An age ago, it had started with just little patches over the back of his hands, and then there were patches on his forearm, his torso, his neck and now there were faint patches of grey creeping up his face.

The dark seid that corrupts his blood, his soul… it is eating him away. He should be afraid at the extent it had consumed him, but he feels naught.

Let it eat him away. Let it rot his flesh from bones. Let it poison him from within. Let it devourer him…Let Hela come for him if she can…

 _“I prefer to have my nightmares with open eyes…”_ Loki reached for his rings within his marble jewel box. He picked one studded with emeralds.

The moment Laufey has been laid to rest in the tomb, nothing will save Asgard. Before his coronation in a hundred days, the once golden realm will burn; and he will be King despite all fate demands of him. Many have died for his insolence and many more will die. That is fine by him…

Be it mountain of corpses and rivers of blood, it will not stop him. His, will be a tale never to be forgotten. He is never nothing. He is Loki Laufeyjarson. And he refused to accept the cruel fate that was bestowed upon him.

 _“Fate will not be the architect of my torment…”_ Loki puts on another ring of deep ruby. _“Fate will not be the architect of my failure…”_

Be it that he is the God that will be punished to the end of times for his rebellion; he will also be the one God that defy the Norns and spit at their feet. He will be the God that commits the impossible, and laugh at last at the mocking face of fate and death.

There was a knock.

Loki turns his gaze towards the door. An illusion that was second nature by now slips over his skin and at once he was again the picture of power and authority.

“Enter” Loki said.

The door opens to reveal Farbauti don in ceremonial cloak of royal purple. A cloak of white hung from his forearm.

“Sire…” Loki greeted, standing to his feet.

“Come here Loki…” Farbauti beckons for the little prince. He knelt to one knee when Loki came to him.

There were gems weaved into Loki’s jet black hair, ornamented earrings on his ears and golden rings on each of his fingers. His little face was stern, cold and stoic but his eyes burn with the flames of a thousand fires. The visage of a King.

Their eyes met.

“Look at you. Your dam would have been so proud” Farbauti smiled; although that was the last thing he felt like doing.

The scarring ceremony was supposed to be a joyous moment. The line of Kings would at long last be placed upon Loki.

A single tear trickled.

Loki lifted his hand to touch his sire’s face.

“I will care for you. Do not weep. …” Loki said quietly. “Dam would not want you to weep”

“Aye my love…he would not…” Farbauti drapes the pristine white cloak over Loki’s shoulder and fasten them gently with golden clasped.

“Sire…” Loki called. “For what they did to us…For their betrayal…I will see them burn. I will hear them scream. I will give you the liar’s crown. I promise you that”

“I need not such promises. I need not revenge” Farbauti tells him. “You, alive, my child…that would mean more to me than a broken crown or a crumbled throne”

“You expect me to believe that you do not wish them dead?”

“No…I do not…I do wish them ill. But…” Farbauti ran his large hand over Loki’s head. “Loki…things happen in life and it shapes us…our anger, our prejudice…our hatred…It makes us who we are. But it is the choices we make that define us”

“I have made my choice” Loki said. _“I will not abandon my hate…my anger…because if I did, there would be nothing left of me. I have come too far for anything else…”_

“Loki…you can stop…”

“I cannot…” Loki looked upon Farbauti. “I will not”

“…”

“Be it the bodies pile up endlessly, upon my throne of blood and bones, I will make Jotunheim the symbol of power and glory in the eyes of every realm. I will hurt every one of them that had hurt us. I will make slaves of their men and whores of their wives and children. I will make them suffer! I will have them tremble at the name of Jotunheim. I will make certain that no one will ever mock us or harm us again”

"And what would that make us?”

“You do not approve?”

Farbauti kisses Loki’s cheek and stood to his feet. “Come now…Tonight let’s not speak anymore of such grieve things”

“Forgive me…”

Loki followed Farbauti down the hall into the ceremonial chamber. Loki did not quite remember the oval room looking quite as it did - dark and bright, ghostly with a harsh cerulean glow and floating lights.

Their footsteps echoed through the hollow place. There were chanting in a slow soothing rhythm as he passed. And the mist was so thick that only the ivory dais that stood half a dozen priests at the end of the chamber was visible.

It felt as if he was back in the world of spirits, a timeless place between the fabrics of reality and fantasy. But every now and then, Loki could see the familiar enormous ice pillars that lined the chamber peeping from within the thick fog; reminding him that this is reality.

Loki stepped up the dais as Farbauti slips to the side, behind the row of priests that moved to surround him.

Rows and rows of candles as far as eyes could see burn hungrily behind them.

Loki closes his eyes and spread his arms on either side of him as his ivory cloak fell away, leaving him naked.

There were soft clinks of metal. Blades…

One priest held each of his wrists and a large hand ran down the small of his naked back.

 _“Watch me Norns...watch me… and curse helplessly in your anger…punish me in death, I fear it not…”_ Loki took in a deep breath as he felt the sharp point of a dagger to his shoulder blade. _“You say to me that I am not meant to rule. To be Loki is to be fated to lose…You say to me that you have seen so many iterations of me in all the universe that are as numerous as the stars in the gatekeeper’s eyes…but never in one had you seen me rule…You will see now._   _The hour is near...Peel the scales from your eyes…and see…see my people worship in love of me….”_

Pain sheered when the metal dug into his flesh. He gritted his jaws, tight, as the metal sliced him open. Red of blood trickled and burn...

 

 

* * *

 

 

The city folks are moving out of the golden city in the thousands every hour, in carts, wagons and horses; for those who still have them that is; the rest, by foot with a sack on their back. When the sun sets on this day, landmines would be set up surrounding the city and the doors will be barred. No one will be coming or leaving anymore.

The sound of banging steel could be heard night and day as the blacksmiths spits out weapons from their workshop faster than they had ever. The city walls are being fortified; cracks and defects seen to at once. The iron doors strengthened.

Baldur did not shed a single tear when he got on his wagon. He is an Odinson after all.

 _“He will live for his people…He will fight for them and one day return Asgard to her glory…”_ Thor knows or so he hoped, as he watched the wooden wagon leave the palace ground.

“He will be alright” Frigga placed a hand over his arm.

“You should leave too” Thor place a hand over hers. “The Jotuns will come, and soon”

"This place was where I was born and where I grew up”

“The gates will not hold”

“Then we will show the realms the face of courage my son” Frigga smiles gently.

All knew the war is lost. And all there is left for those that stayed in the city is one last fight, to go out in a blaze of glory.

“Aye” Thor kisses her over the top of her head. “We will. We will…”

Thor returns to his study soon after. There was a knock on the door when dinner time came around.

He lifted his gaze from the latest reports when a servant poked her head through the door.

“Should I bring your dinner my King?”

“Aye…And have the guards bring the Jotun Prince to me” Thor tells her. “I will dine with him”

It was a promise to Baldur that he would dine with the Jotun prince. Or rather the Jotun pet as the Aesir guards would say.

It was about a half hour after the food had been brought in that Helblindi showed up.

His chains clinked as he was walked towards Thor with half a dozen guards beside him. His bone pale locks were neat and braided and he smelled of scented soap. He was donned with new furs too. No doubt the guards had made sure their prisoner was clean before being presented to him. It was good sense.

Thor dismissed the guards and offered Helblindi a seat across from him.

“Are you well Prince?” Thor asked, once the prince had settled.

Helblindi shrugged.

“Hungry?”

Helblindi said nothing, not even looking at the food laid before him.

Thor heaved a sigh. He could not blame Helblindi for refusing to speak. Not after everything…

“Please…” Thor motioned to the food.

Helblindi did as he was bid and no more. He did not seem suspicious at the sudden generosity or even question it. Or rather, he had simply given up caring.

Thor watched the Jotun Prince through dinner as he attempted and failed to make small talks in an effort to fill the uncomfortable silence. The news of Laufey’s death seems to have broken something in the prince.

Guilt started welling in him.

He could not save Laufey. But as far as Helblindi is concern, his King died in the midst of a battle that broke. Thor couldn’t bring himself to tell Helblindi the truth. He wondered now however, if he should have fabricated a better tale or better yet, not inform the prince at all.

He took a sip of his wine as Helblindi picked at his peas, which were the only thing left on his plate.

Thor felt guilty again. Before it did not seem like Helblindi had much green on his plate. So to be helpful, he had scoped some from the bowl for Helblindi. Those _some_ peas had ended up drowning the Prince’s steak in a sea of green. Helblindi had frowned at that but otherwise said nothing.

“I apologize for the peas” Thor eyed the leftover greens that were now being taken on an adventure around Helblindi’s plate.

“It’s fine” Helbindi croaked.

“You do not have to finish them. Forgive me if it is not to your taste”

“No…It’s not that…”

“…”

“I… I count my blessings for the simple fact that…that there is food. My dam…umm…he…” His fingers tightened over the silver; his lungs constricted. “He…he taught us that…since well, there isn’t much on Jotunheim…and now…I think there would be less… I’m just…just…”

He is not making sense he knows and if he doesn’t stop speaking soon, he was going to cry. He doesn’t want to. Not in front of an Aesir King!

“I…I’m just not hungry” Helblindi puts down his fork.

“I understand”

Silence fell again.

Thor went back to his plate. He shouldn’t have said anything at all. It was stupid.

The meal was almost done when unexpectedly Helblindi spoke again.

“Do you hate him for all that has happen?” He asked quietly.

“It is not that simple” 

“He slew your King and started a war that destroyed your realm. How can you not loath him?”

“All you say is true” Thor admits. “But even for all his wickedness, for all his folly and betrayal…I cannot imagine never meeting him and I would not want to...Be it for better or worst…I would not be who I am today if not for him. And I will change nothing, even if I were given the chance”

“You love him” Helblindi said.

Thor neither confirms nor denies the claim.

Helblindi went on. “You should know Son of Odin…Love alters nothing”

“…”

“Love will not change who he is. It does not chase away his ambition or anger or the yearning for power. It conquers neither death nor fear. To hope it would, is the height of foolishness and arrogance! It is not a miracle drug no matter how much you wish for it. No matter how greatly you want it to be true. No matter how _desperately_ you pray it to be so”

There was bitterness and anger in the Jotun’s tone. Thor could guess why.

It is a different battle, a different pain, a different torment that only deepens with time when you love someone who hates himself; when you love someone Hel bend on destroying himself and there is nothing you can do, as you watch helplessly where you stand. But…

“To hope is not arrogance or the height of stupidity” Thor said. “It is a beautiful thing. A powerful thing that no one can ever take from you if you would not let them…It is the basis of strength, courage, determination and vision. It is hope that wakes you day after day and keeps you moving forth even when it seems the world is against you. It is hope that keeps you dreaming. It is hope that keeps you believing that your suffering, despair, helplessness and failures of today will not be your tomorrow. And I tell you truly, without hope, there is nothing…without hope, we are dead”

“...”

“It is never foolish to hope, my Prince. But if it is, I would gladly be a fool”

Helblindi smiled, not unkindly. “So you do not believe war was always inevitable from the beginning? You do not believe that we are fated to destroy each other? That this atrocity will not end, this cycle of hate will not cease as long as the realm of fire and ice exist as two?”

“I do not” Thor said. “Because I cannot believe that”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Laufey was laid upon a stone slab in the middle of the throne room. Large golden cloth that glittered beneath the light of a dying flame was placed over King’s body. Ringlets of gold adorned Laufey’s horns, along with golden earrings and chains around his neck. The wound had been stitched and cleaned that only the trained eye would still see it if they looked upon the once King.

The last candle burn at the altar set by the dais.

When Tyr left the throne room having paid his respect to his once King, there was only about an inch left that jutted from the pool of white melted wax.

Once the candle had burnt out, it would mark the seventh day since the death of the King. Then it would be time to move the body into the tomb. And once that is done, Loki would return to Asgard for the last stretch of the war.

While Byleistr had named Thor the hand that killed Laufey, there were holes in the tales that even the most foolish of the courts would have seen through its fabricated nature. Tyr could not tell if it was intentional, or if Byleistr was confused or if it was simply not a very good tale as hurriedly made up ones often aren’t.

He hears hush whispers wherever he went.

Indeed there were some who agreed that it was Thor who murdered Laufey, but many did not. The Aesir King was too honorable to play such games. There were whispers that it was Frigga herself who did it with her sorcery; while others name Loki and some still name Byleistr himself.

They did not dare say it to either prince’s face of course.

 _“Not yet”_ Tyr thought.

Truth be told, Tyr did not think Byleistr killed Laufey. If anyone knew the third prince even a little, they would know that Byleistr hungers for Laufey’s approval; craves his dam’s attention that the prince had always thought was so readily poured onto Loki and chased after the love that he thought was always Loki’s to toss aside…

Byleistr may want the throne, but it is not in him to kill his dam for it.

Byleistr’s room was dark and it stunk of alcohol, drugs and sex when Tyr went to him.

The General let his scarlet gaze graze the messy room. Empty bottles of wine and mead were everywhere. There were broken glasses on the icy ground, spills of what looked to be wine, numerous pills on the messy table, stains of blood on the fur covered bed and ropes tied to the bedpost.

Byleistr sat by the lancet window, gazing blankly over the snowy plain beneath. His ivory hair was a right mess that tangled with his horns. He did not even turn to look at Tyr or gave any indication that he knew the other was in the room.

Tyr cleared his throat. “My Prince, you summoned me?”

“To me Tyr” Byleistr rasped.

Tyr did as he was told.

Byleistr reached out to take Tyr’s hand, turning his translucent red eyes to the General. 

The prince stunk of alcohol and Tyr noticed that the surrounding of Byleistr’s eyes was a little swollen; tears stained his cheeks and there were rope burns on his wrists. Tyr said nothing.

“You have always stood by me. Only you…” Byleistr draws Tyr close to him as he stood to his unsteady feet. His fingers reached to caress Tyr’s cheek.

Tyr frowned; gently pushing Byleistr’s hand away. “My prince, you are upset”

“That may be, but it does not discount the truth”

“Yes. But now is not the time”

“Why?” Byleistr reached for Tyr’s breaches.

“No” Tyr pushes at the prince’s insistent hands.

“I know you want it!” Byleistr tugs at Tyr’s furs.

“That’s enough!”

Byleistr crashed his lips against Tyr, kissing him insistently. They struggled, shoving and pulling. Tyr growled, tearing his lips away only to have Byleistr almost pulling his furs off.

“Byleistr!”

“I need you. I want your hands on me. I want you in me!”

“Stop it!” Tyr seizes Byleistr’s stubborn hands, holding them hard against his chest.

Byleistr struggled against him.

“You are making a fool of yourself!” 

“You want me!” Byleistr growled.

“Yes I do! But not now!” Tyr snapped. “Not like this! Never like this!”

Byleistr cease his struggling. Translucent red eyes glaring into blood red ones.

“Byleistr, this is not right. Your dam…” Tyr took a deep breath. “It will not be respectful”

Byleistr snorted. “I never took you for a man of honor”

“My prince, if this is why you have summoned me, I would ask to leave”

Tyr may be many things, but rapist is not one. Intoxicated; Byleistr is incapable of giving his consent. Adding to that, he is mourning. What the prince needs now is comfort. Not sex.

Byleistr hissed, wrenching his hands free. “So now even you stand against me” 

“Do not be malicious. You know how I feel about you”

“Do I?!”

“…”

“I once thought I knew” He admitted. “But I am not so sure anymore”

"Byle-”

“Do you love me?” Byleistr cuts in.

“You ask that which you already know”

“And yet you will never be mine alone. Is a prince not enough for you? What am I to you? Will you die for me?”

Tyr heaved a sigh.

“Byleistr, I am hardly one known for faithfulness. And you will be laughed at in court if I were to leave my mate for you. A prince, pining desperately for another’s mate…and one that had probably bedded half the castle. Everyone’s trash in a manner of speaking… You know this. But if you ask if I will die for you…then I say this to you. I am yours. My sword and my shield are yours. And I will gladly give my life for you if need be. I serve you”

“And will you serve me still if I command you to murder the crown prince?”

Tyr stilled. Words of loyalty were stuck in his throat. A cruel smile curled over Byleistr’s lips at Tyr’s silence.

“Oh look how far your loyalty for me goes” He sneered; moving unsteadily to the wine cabinet to uncork the last of the wine bottle.

“You know not what you speak” Tyr gritted. “And in any case, this is Loki. To try is suicide!”

“Even the mighty will fall when you put a blade through their heart or poison in their cup” Byleistr turns to Tyr, taking a large gulp of wine. “We may worship royalties like Gods on Jotunheim…but I assure you, we die just like everyone else. Have a peek into the throne room. There lies your once King”

“Watch your tongue!”

Byleistr laughs. “Long live the King!” He raised his cup and toasted mocking before downing the entire goblet in a motion.

Tyr could feel his anger creeping. The procession is to happen within the next few hours at most and Byleistr is drunk and probably high. Not to mention before Laufey could even be laid to rest, the prince was already spewing these treacherous words of usurping the throne.

“Do you fancy a drink Lord Tyr?” Byleistr poured himself another. “Might grow you some balls”

“What you ask of me is treason!” Tyr snapped.

“What I ask is life!” Byleistr bellowed, slamming the goblet on the table. “Once you put that crown on my brother’s head, I would be as good as dead!”

“You give your brother too little credit”

“When betrayal is second nature, trust is a gamble. A gamble my dam loss and one I am not willing to play”

“I do not understand”

“I will not lie and say I do not desire the crown. I will not lie and say that my reason for wanting Loki dead to be purely righteous” Byleistr admits, turning to face Tyr.

And Byleistr did not look drunk or high or needy anymore. There is clarity in his eyes. There was fire…anger, violence and hatred…such deep seething hate that unease Tyr.

“It was no Aesir that killed my dam” Byleistr confessed.

There was something in the way that Byleistr spoke that made the hair on Tyr’s back rise. And Tyr did not like the accusation or the implication of Byleistr’s words.

“You mean it was one of ours?” Tyr asked carefully.

“I will admit that I saw nothing…but I felt it. The seid that brush pass me…” Byleistr shivered at the memory. “It was cold and it was foul. A stench of death. A brush of death. I cannot explain it to you. But…”

“What are you saying?”

“I know what I felt” He gritted. “That _thing_ in that tent…it was Loki”

 

 

* * *

 

 

The titan eagles screamed, splitting the roaring sky as the rain poured, soaking Farbauti to the bones. It is the work of the thunderer he knew; to make the ground slippery and the walls hard to climb. But it is a double edge sword. The Aesir would not be able to hear or see them until it is too late.

The armies marched in a steady rhythm. Lightning flashed and for a split of the second Farbauti could see clearly the entire legion of warriors making their last march with Loki riding on Fenrir at the head of them; Byleistr and Tyr on each of his side on the wolves Loki gifted them.

Farbauti rode a little behind. His was a black wolf with red eyes.

 _“It will be over soon. And Jotunheim will be victorious”_ The wolf whispered into Farbauti’s mind.

Farbauti tightened his grip on the wet furs beneath him.

_"Be at ease my Queen”_

“I am no Queen, dog. Do not mock me” Farbauti growled.

It was only by Loki’s grace that he was given a wolf to ride. By right, he should be marching with the rest of the men.

Laufey is dead and that meant he is no longer Queen. Not even a Lord, as he was not one before he mated Laufey.

His sire was a High Lord though. But when his sire passes, the title went to the eldest of his siblings along with the mines and farm lands. The gold, it went to his other siblings. He being the youngest received nothing but his dam did not see it as a problem. He was Queen after all. Most Queens take their own lives if their King were to pass before them.

It was not law. It was simply expected.

But he could not do it. For that, many saw him as a coward. And perhaps he is.

As of now, he has nothing. No land or gold or title to speak off. Everything he had belonged to those of royal blood.

It is only by Loki’s grace that he was not cast out of the palace and made to live in the army barracks as he had before he was mated. And it is only by Loki’s grace that he could still see Ikol, his youngest, after all this is over… or so Loki promised him.

 _“And yet you still speak like one”_ The wolf chuckled.

“…”

 _“_ _Narfi”_

“...”

_“That’s my name”_

“I have no use of a traitor’s name” Farbauti said.

“ _So much a_ _Queen still”_

Farbauti said nothing. He did not like the idea of these wolves and eagles.

Before they left Jotunheim, Loki had commanded the surviving traitors and the runners from the last war to be brought to him.

There were not many who had survived. About two hundred at most. As they are, they were no use to anyone. Their knees had been broken as punishment and their limbs are weak from disuse.

 _“If you will fight for me, your treachery to the late King will be forgotten. I will put strength in your limbs. You will walk again. You will be fight again. You will be warriors again”_ Loki had declared. _“If you will follow me...I will give to you all that has been taken away from you by my dam”_

Most agreed. What have they to lose that had not been lost?

Loki had smiled in triumph and what happened after, not even he could bear to speak of it.

It was black magic, or at best twisted alchemy. With something akin to blood drawn across the floor, Loki transformed the traitors.

Their shrieks of agony as their bodies’ bend and twist in unnatural angles, their bones breaking and tearing through their bloodied flesh made the hair on his back rise.

He left the room long before it was over.

Their shouts ranged for hours, the ground shook and moaned sending cracks across the floors. The wind shrieked and the storm roared. Just beyond the window he had seen the shadows creeping across the yard and up the castle wall. He looked away then.

 _“My Queen”_ Narfi called. _“Trust me when I say you best remember me and keep me by your side. If we survive this, I will be your only protection in the years to come, and perhaps your only companion. Not even you are fool enough to trust that child”_

“Be silent” Farbauti growled. “You will not speak such vile to me. And I would be a fool to trust a traitor”

 _“Traitor… such an ugly name”_ Narfi said. _“It makes you think of a man who sold his realm to another or one that conspire against the crown”_

“…”

_“I was young and I ran from a losing war. I wanted to live...same as you”_

“…”

 _“My Queen, wanting to live…Is that a sin so grave that can never be forgiven? Have I not been punished enough? And am I not fighting in this war now?”_ Narfi asked.

“The High Gods forgive. I am no High God” Farbauti said.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The horns shrieked, slicing through the thunderous night. Men rushed up and down the slippery stone steps. Heavy catapults were being pushed into place and the torches burn.

Thor hurried up the wall.

The horns blared and the Jotuns answered with the howl of wolves and the screams of eagles that pierce the rumbling sky.

 _“There’s more than one wolf?!”_ Thor thought furiously.

“There your Grace!” Bragi pointed urgently to the trees about five hundred feet away. His breath came in mist.

Thor looked and it took a moment for him to see the movements in the cover of night and thickening mist.

Rain fell, dripping down Thor’s golden locks. His fingers curled. So it begins…

“Get the oil and boulders up here now. The archers ready and the warriors in position” Thor commanded.

“At once your Grace!” Bragi left.

Thor looked on into the darkness. The Jotuns are about to have a nasty surprise when they charge. A good number would die from the landmines, but it is nothing compared to the number that had died in this war.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The ground shook and open, the world was on fire. Screams rang in Loki ears so loudly he thought he would go deaf. Seven night and seven day they fought till the doors were broken and the walls came crumbling. Arrows rain from the high towers and the ground exploded, raining down flesh, blood and bones.

Men were on fire, screaming and charging in a mad dash. Men were groveling on the ground, crawling with half their body gone. Men with face half cleaved, men with crushed skulls and men with open guts lay in piles.

Intestines and organs were smeared across the dirt and on walls.

Eagles fell from the sky and wolves lay dead to be feasted upon by maggots.

The city of gold was no more than a butcher’s den, a slaughter house of Gods.

Blood covered Loki's skin and furs. His ebony hair was matted with blood, flesh, filth and mud.

Lightning shrieked and thunders roared for worlds to hear.

Three weeks they fought continuously through the city and at last broke through the castle door where the Aesir had retreated.

There was a terrible clash at the stairs.

“Push!” Loki shrieked as he pushed up the winding steps.

His aching feet stomped on fallen men be it Aesir or Jotun, as he shoved the sea of bodies that threatened to crush him. Arrows flew pass Loki, grazing his upper arm, bouncing off the stone wall.

He turns to see an Aesir. He hissed, trusted his bloody blade up; piercing through gold, muscle and flesh. The Aesir was dead on his feet.

He saw Tyr smashed through the wall of shield that were pushing them back at the forefront, breaking the bones of their screaming enemies.

Swords and blades rose and fell. Blood spattered the white walls and smeared the already slippery step.

Be it hours, be it minutes, Loki could not quite tell, they broke through the defense and poured into the white halls.

“Be it a man, woman or child with a weapon, kill them all!” Loki screamed, turning left with his troop while some opt to follow Farbauti to the right. Queen or not, he is a seasoned fighter.

They broke down each door.

A maid screamed when her door was flung open. She knelt in the furthest corner of her room with a butter knife in her trembling hands.

“Kill her” Loki ordered as he limps down the hall.

“No no no no!” She wailed.

A Jotun grabbed her roughly by her golden locks and took a blade to her throat.

"That was a servant. It was unnecessary. Such mindless cruelty will earn you no love, your Grace” Tyr bends down to whisper in Loki’s ear.

“She is an Aesir with weapon” Loki said.

“A butter knife?”

Loki turns and slapped Tyr so hard he split Tyr’s lips.

Byleistr looked away.

“Then you should have step in and save her if you feel so strongly about it” Loki told Tyr.

Loki did not have much patience left in him. His head pounded terribly, his every muscle ached and his knees were trembling from sheer exhaustion. He was so tired he could not even spare the strength to heal himself.

His lips were broken, his temple was bleeding, a deep gash cuts down his right thigh, the skin of his hands were torn and he’d probably broken a rib.

This battle is dragging out longer than he thought it would.

They did not meet much resistance until they were at the throne room. The moment the door was flung open, sheering white light burst, blinding them; then at once streaks of arrows flew.

Loki saw for a split of the moment, the steel arrows spearing his men. Loki did not know if a shout ever left their lips as they fell; but if it did, it was drowned by the roars of men as they charged at one another.

The clang of steel and ice shrieked mercilessly again.

“Scum!” A bleeding Aesir charged at Loki.

Loki snarled, sending his blade through the man’s heart.

The dead piled.

Loki seized an Aesir by his matted locks when his back was turn and opened his throat. Blood sprayed.

Another, Loki stabbed him through the eye and out the back of his skull and he yanked his blade out so hard bits of brains were torn out.

The battle was dirty and messy.

“Loki!” Someone called amid the madness and ringing cries.

He turns to see Byleistr, pressing a bloody hand over his open abdomen, his entrails hung from his shaking fingers; three arrows protruded from his chest and one through his left thigh. Blood dripped from his lips. The bloody blade in his right hand scrapped against the floor.

“Help me…” He fell to his knees before Loki.

Something niggled at Loki. Byleistr had never once asked his help even at the pain of death…

Loki could not quite remember what he said or did or if he did say or did anything; a flash of white streaked behind him and suddenly slick hot blood drenched down his head.

He turned at once to see that Fenrir had tore off Tyr’s right hand and was going for the rest of him. Claws tore Tyr apart from neck to navel.

Tyr’s shrieked, but his voice was smothered by the clash of steel and roars of men. A Jotun swung, burying his axe in Fenrir’s skull before Loki could even shout.

“Murderer…” A whisper brushed Loki’s ear.

Too slow was Loki to react. There was a cold hard touch and then blazing pain ripped his chest apart. A blade of ice pierced Loki’s back and out through his chest and then it withdrew.

Blood spurted from Loki’s lips. He fell to his knees.

He could see Fenrir dead a few feet before him. He turns his head to see Byleistr lying on the ground. Translucent red eyes on him and a cruel smile on his bloody lips.

“Oh how dam loved you…” Byleistr rasped. “His favored child…the greatest trea-sure of Jotun-heim…!”

Byleistr knows he is going to die but so be it. He could go in peace now that he had made sure Loki would never sit on the throne. He would not let one guilty of regicide sit upon that same throne he betrayed. He would not!

Loki groaned, his world tilted horrifyingly.

“Some trea-sure you are” Byleistr coughed, choking on his blood.

Loki looked at his brother and in that moment, he felt neither hatred nor anger for him. He felt sorry for him, from the very last part of him that was still Loki…He felt sorry for Byleistr, to never know that he had always posses that which he sought so desperately for.

“No Byleistr…it is you…” Loki force out. It hurts to speak. “We are all treasures of Jotunheim in dam’s eyes…But you were always the greatest gift…” Blood trickled down his lips.

Byleistr eyes were shutting, he was dying but for once he was actually listening.

Loki continued. “Born so strong even after the war…when we starve and have nothing…You my dearest brother…you are…the greatest treasure of all…for you are…Jotunheim’s symbol of hope that we could be born again…stronger than ever from the ash…”

“If only that were true…” Byleistr murmured. “If only…”

“It is…my dearest brother…”

Loki crawled out of the room with every ounce of strength he had, unseen, as the battle waged on. He saw Frigga dead among the corpse with her armor broken. There was nothing to hint that she was the Golden Queen or that she was different from any other casualty of war. And Loki knew he was going to die just like that.

There was not going to be one last show down between him and Thor. No last battle to the dead between the heirs of two realms.

This is how his legacy would end…not in a dramatic bang, but a noiseless gasped.

Unnoticed… forgotten…alone…

 _“Truly the Norns have no love and no mercy…”_ Loki wanted to laugh. _“You win…”_

He collapsed somewhere in the hallway as the ice in his blood began to thaw, every breath harder than the last. He could hear the distant clang of steel; he could hear the muffled pounding of boots against the marble floor and feel the slick warm blood that pooled beneath him.

He saw from the corner of his eyes, ten…a hundred perhaps of bended, twisted, bony creatures scurrying on all fours like rats from one shadow to the next.

They lick their rotted lips hungrily and their yellow teeth were sharp. Their decaying faces were menacing, malicious and hideous. Maggots feasted, boring holes in their bloodless flesh.

They are here for him, to torment him, to claw him, bite him, eat him and tear him to shreds; slowly, agonizingly, for all eternity. Taking pleasure in his endless agony, anguish and torment…

 _All must die in the end. And when he did, he would have deserved it…_ those were his words.

_“Come child…I have made you wait…”_

Loki did not know how long he lay but it could not be long…

“Loki…?” Someone was calling him.

It did not sound like Hela…

Someone rolled him to his back.

He groaned.

“Loki” A warm hand cups his face.

Piercing blue eyes looked upon him. Thor…it was Thor. The Aesir King was drench in blood and mud. He looked terrible.

Loki smiled.

There was a distant crash. Thor turned at once.

“I don’t want…to die alone…” The words came unbidden to Loki’s lips.

Thor turned back to him; his thumb wipes the tears that Loki did not know he even had on his cheek.

“Shhh…” Thor soothed. “It’s okay…it’s going to be okay…I’m here…”

“Why…am I…crying…?” Loki croaked; his heavy lids shutting.

He feels naught. But the tears would not stop flowing.

The illusion that masks his grayish skin faded.

“Oh Loki…” Thor whispered.

Loki felt Thor take his body into those powerful arms and he felt Thor lips on his head, kissing him, soothing him. The ground suddenly shook; rubbles fell and there were more shouting.

Thor tightened his hold.

“Here lies at last…the end of our tale…and what an end it is…” Loki smiled.

“No…no...This is the beginning” Thor tells him. “When this is over, we will return to the Fyrisvellir you love…”

“Fyrisvellir…”

“Yes…you remember don’t you?”

“A little…it seems…a dream...”

“It is real…It is most beautiful in spring, with leafs of gold, red and emerald…with pillars of silver and ebony…the flowers will bloom in the first week of spring…and their white silken petals would glitter both in the golden sun and the light of moon. Then in the first light of dawn…” Thor’s voice shook; his eyes burn. “The dews that hung from the leafs…they will shine like thousands of little diamonds, and the birds of red, blue, violet and yellow…they will flock to the trees and they will fill the forest with their songs…. Can you see it? Can you hear it?”

“Aye…it’s beautiful…”

Thor kisses Loki desperately over the top of his head.

The bony creaks of those spawns were getting louder, sharper, and the smell of rot and decaying flesh crept closer.

Thor could not see or hear or smell them of course. Such hideous sight was never meant for Thor.

“Tell me of Iduun in the light of the full moon…” Loki murmured. Tears trickled.

Funny isn’t it, that in his last moment and with the last part of him that is still pure…all Loki wanted to remember were moments of happiness. It was not admiration or worship or the greatness of his achievements or tales of his glory that he wanted to hear. None of those seem important anymore.

Cruel nails dug into Loki ankle and coldness deeper than ice surged; draining, pulling all of his strength.

“Tell me of that theater and their song of winter…” Loki could barely move his darkening lips. “I want to remember…tell me…”

Thor did. But Loki never heard it.

The fighting waged on for a further three days before city was lost. And with that, Asgard lost her first war.


	25. Rebirth

The chains clinked and groaned beneath the power of Thor.

Lightning surged, and cracked like a whip, threatening to shatter the irons that bind the once King. The wind screamed just beyond the stone walls. Rain poured, beating mercilessly, ceaselessly, against the muddy ground as the seas toss and the hurricane sweeps the land.

Farbauti knelt to one knee by the threshold of Thor’s cell.

It was dark, it was dank and it smelt of filth, blood, rot and burning flesh. The air prickled dangerously with crackles of lightning, threatening to strike him where he knelt.

Farbauti let his gaze wandered over the naked Thunder God in irons.

“Peace my Lord of Aesir” Farbauti said. “I have come with an offer”

Thor did not respond. His head bowed. His greasy golden locks dangled about his face. His knees bled as he was made to kneel; his bloody wrists shackled to his ankles. And the numerous chains of steel and irons that bound him were linked to one another, forming a web of silver biting into his raw flesh.

“I trust you know you are a dead man” Farbauti said. “But I do not wish that to be your fate. I seek to change it, if you will help me”

The chains clinked.

Slowly, Thor raised his head.

Farbauti stilled at the ferocity, the violence that stared back at him in those cold spitting eyes.

Electric surged and crackled. There was no mercy in the Golden King.

Farbauti felt a shiver inched down his spine, but his features remained unchanged.

“Wiser men would not bare their emotions so plainly for all to see” Farbauti said. “I offered to save you. You could at least pretend you would not smite me the moment you are free from your chains if gratitude is too hard to master”

“Why should I chock on my rage for you? Why should I hide my fangs to smile at you?” Thor spat. “No. I will not hide my claws to take your hand. I will not put on a mask to please you! I will not play your twisted game! Now be gone, before all mercy leaves me and I strike you dead where you kneel!”

“Did you think threatening me would make me leave” Farbauti said.

Thunders shrieked. Lightning surged in the narrow chamber, striking the blackened wall. At once, the stone exploded, sending more crashing down with a thunderous roar.

Farbauti did not even flinch.

The long dungeon echoed. The brutal wind shook the walls.

“Leave” Thor growled. There was the rumble of thunder in his voice.

Farbauti stilled his translucent red eyes upon Thor.

Thor will hear him whether the boy wish it or not. He will not sit back and let Thor die; because if the Golden prince dies, they would have sealed their fate for another war. The Aesir will not forgive. The Aesir will not forget. As it is, rebels are on the up rise. Cities burn, rivers poisoned and crops destroyed by those who would rather have the realm die than a Jotun King on their precious throne.

“What is it that I would not do for my children…” Farbauti said. “Gladly I will die for them. Gladly I will let them crucify me, despise me, mock me…if it means they would have a life better than mine. Are we so very different? Would you not do the same for your brother?”

“You do not want to threaten me” He warned.

“That is not my intention” Farbauti tells him. “I simply meant you still have much to live for. Do not cheapen your life and throw it away for pride”

Thor laughs coldly.

He did not believe for a moment that this _concern_ was out of the goodness of the Jotun’s cold bleeding heart. The bastards wanted a God as a pet in the Jotun court don’t they? Thor did not doubt the idea must surely be delicious to those savages.

“Tell me, what would you have of me?” Thor asked maliciously. His lips curled. “Am I to spread my legs for your King? Or am I to grovel and beg at your feet as you disgrace me?”

“I do not seek to dishonor you. I only seek to have you be the bridge between our people. I seek to have a chance at lasting peace.” Farbauti said.

Thor sneered at Farbauti’s words. “You people wrought war and yet speak of peace. What trickery are you playing?”

“None. I only wish for your loyalty”

“My loyalty?” Thor’s voice was thick in disbelief; he even sounded amused.

“Swear loyalty to us, and Helblindi will let you live”

“You mean to have me bend the knee and serve the monsters that murdered my parents, butchered my men, burn my cities and destroy my realm?!” 

Lightning flashed. 

"..."

“It never is enough with you savages is it?”

“…”

“Victory is yours and yet it is not enough. You would leave me with nothing, not even dignity!” He spat.

Water leaks from the low ceilings, trickling down the cold wall. There was water beneath Farbauti’s boots. Thor knows he could so easily kill Farbauti with the lighting that crackled in his blood. His muscles tightened. The chains that bound his bloodied wrist groaned, threatening to break.

“Victory…” Farbauti said. “So they say. For this war, I have lost my King, my mate, my friends, my children and grandchild…if this is victory, I do not want it”

Thor snorted. “It is simple to speak isn’t it when you have won? Not so when it is you in chains”

“I cannot deny the truth of you claims” Farbauti admits. “I know what we have done. I know that no single act or any amount of acts could ever erase the wrong and hurt we had wrought. And I am deeply sorry”

Thor stilled at the apology.

Farbauti went on “I am not blind to the atrocity we have committed. Not in a thousand deaths, not with all the treasures that Jotunheim posses or had ever possessed can we repay you for the weight of our offence to you. But if taking my life will bring you satisfaction, then it is yours to take. All I ask in return is your loyalty to Helblindi”

“…”

“My Lord, I have lived and fought through two wars that spend over hundreds of years and I have watched a lot of people die. Lovers, friends, children… And I do not wish for this pain, this _torment_ that I bear, that _we_ bear, to be pass on to the generations to come”

Thor was silent now, his head bowed. The hurricane that brews beyond the walls roared mercilessly. The building groaned.

“My Lord…” Farbauti pleaded.

“You have said your piece. Now leave” Thor gritted.

Farbauti lets his eyes closed for a moment as he stood to his feet.

“Thor…” He tried. “For millennia you have lived in peace, in luxury and richness and for millennia more you would live. Bend the knee I beg you…Do not think I do not understand the pain, the humiliation, the shame and the despair you would bear in the years to come should you choose it. But I tell you truly, all of this is but the blink of an eye. And just as darkness cannot last forever, these things too shall come to pass”

Thor did not respond.

Farbauti left.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Helblindi could feel emptiness inside of him whenever he woke. There was a hole in him where his heart ought to be.  A hole that would never heal… His dam, his brothers, they are never coming back. His head hurts, and sometimes it felt as if it were stuffed with cottons and he could not think, and sometimes he did not even know where he was.

All he wanted to do was sleep…and dream. That was the best part. He would dream of his family, he would dream of Jotunheim and the games he would play with his brothers. And he would have slept all morning and all night had his sire not come to make him get up whether he wanted to or not.

Once when he absolutely refused to, his sire had found a pail of water and doused him with it.

He is King of two realms, but he wanted neither. 

He just wanted to close his eyes and sleep and sleep and never wake.

He should return to Jotunheim and let the Aesirs rot. Do what the Allfather had done; loot and rip all they could and leave. Forget about rebuilding. The Aesirs did not want him anyway. All the projects he had strived to put in place to please the Aesir people were a failure. They hated him, they loathed him… and why would they not?

Sometimes he’d even wished that one of those assassination attempts would be a success. That way, he did not need to feel this pain anymore. It is a selfish prayer he knows. Only once in his sorrow had he told his sire that.

Farbauti had lashed out and struck him hard.

 _“Do not ever speak such vile again!”_ Farbauti had snarled. _“Do you think I would not mourn you?!”_

_“…”_

_“Do not let me bury another child! I cannot do it! Do you hear me?!”_

Helblindi closes his eyes, as he huddled beneath his covers on the fur he had spread on the floor. 

The storm groaned and rumbled. Lightning flashed as the rain beats hard against the lancet window. He was drifting off to sleep when there came a great and urgent pounding at his door.

“My King! My King!” The voice shouted.

Before Helblindi could even answer, the door was flung open and his squire came running in.

Helblindi scrambled to sit up.

“Your Grace!”

“What? What is it?” He asked urgently.

A hundred terrible visions flashed across his mind eye. Had the rebels succeeded in killing his sire? Had they broken down the doors? Had they raised an army?

“The Aesir your Grace! He has escaped his chains! He is in the courtyard demanding to see you!”

“Aesir…?” For a moment Helblindi could not process his squire’s words.

“The Aesir King, your Grace! Thor!” The squire cried.

It took a second before everything clicked into place. At once Helblindi was on his feet and he was hurrying down the impossibly long hall with his squire.

He could hear shouting, and the hurried thud of running feet.

Thunders roared as he entered the courtyard.

At least five dozen guards surrounded the once King that stood fearlessly before them with Mjolnir crackling in his hand.

Lightning cracked and sizzled about the golden King as wind shrieked, threatening to shove them to the broken ground. Rain poured, trickling down Thor’s naked body, washing the blood off his raw flesh.

Cold cerulean eyes that spits of lightning turns towards Helblindi that stood behind his warriors.

Hot stream of white struck the ground. The earth shook.

Slowly, Thor raised a hand and curled his fingers, beckoning for the Jotun King.

Helblindi straightened up.

“My King?” His squire hissed.

Helblindi ignored him. If Thor wanted him dead, not even his warriors could stop him.

The warriors parted as Helblindi steps into the yard. His snowy locks that he had grown to cover his decapitated ear, stuck to the hard edge of his face and his scarred back.

“Speak” Helblindi commanded.

A moment became two as Thor looked upon him with his cold stormy eyes.

Thunders cracked.

Then unexpectedly, the Golden Prince lowered himself and knelt to one knee, his head bow.

The warriors stilled in harsh silence.

Helblindi stared. _“Who am I that a God would kneel before me?”_

The storm calmed and the rain ceased for the first time in months.

“I pledge my loyalty to you. My sword and my shield are yours” Thor vowed “I will live and I will die in your service…My King”

 

 

* * *

  

 

So many questions were asked.

How did Asgard lose the war? How did the Golden King lose his throne and fell so far from grace? Were the armies unprepared for the magnitude of war that plagued them? Was the Golden King’s inexperience? Was it the cursed prince that finally paved the way to victory for his people? Or was this simply fate? Or perhaps, it was the combination of them all…In the end, does it really matter?

The snow fell, enveloping the city in a blanket of white. The smell of roasted buns and chestnuts were thick in the air as Thor and Baldur walked down the street.

Asgard was like neither of them remembered from when they were children.

It was different, but no less glorious with her massive cathedral of silver and bridges that stretched over the entire falls. Leaves of white and pillars of ebony framed the stone pathway and the ornamented lanterns that hung from their lofty branches swayed in the gentle breeze.

For three hundred years Helblindi had reigned. But come tomorrow, Asgard will have a new King.

No matter how much effort Helblindi put into rebuilding both the realm of ice and fire, Asgard will never be his land. And the blood that had been spilled in the war can never be wash clean be it in a hundred lifetimes.

Helblindi understood that and expected as much from a throne build on the foundation of blood and bones.

He had done all he could for the Aesirs. He had rebuilt the Realm of Eternal from the rubbles, incorporating both Jotun and Aesir design in her architecture.

He had rewritten both their history to tell things as it is; rather than sweeten the horrors as their late King had. The brutality, the atrocity, the terror and cruelty were written plainly for all. Neither Aesir nor Jotuns were innocent of it. He will not have the generations to come forget that. For those who forget history are bound to repeat them.

Thor hoped it will be enough.

“I trust you know that I’ve made mistakes…so many unforgivable mistakes. And I have wronged so many people” Thor said. “But to have you here today as my brother, the King of Asgard comes tomorrow, I must have done at least something right”

Baldur looked at his brother. Thor was smiling at him.

“You will be a great King” Thor said.

Baldur wanted to look away. Sometimes in his guilt and shame, he thought none of them deserved anything; not even himself. Sometimes he wondered too how Thor could still smile with such sincerity after all that he had been through.

Asgard would not be here today, had Thor not been willing to strip himself of his pride, his dignity, his honor and his birthright. Asgard would not be here today in her splendor had Thor not gone to his knees and pledge himself to the enemy and slaughtered the rebellion that would rather have the realm burn than a Jotun king to rule over them.

Asgard would not have here today at all, if not for Thor.

Thor is a good man.

And yet, there are Aesirs who still looked upon their once King in contempt. They whisper behind his back, pointed where he went and spit in his face when he stood in a crowd.

 _“Your brother is a traitor! A liar! A coward!”_ He was told over and over again when he had been in hiding.

He remembered the crowd screaming profanity, screaming curses and hurling mud, rocks and filth at Thor when Thor had come with a band of Jotun to the little village he was hidden, until they saw the food that was brought for them.

So devastated and angry was he that his brother was not fighting the Jotuns but instead helping them, he had burst out from his hiding place, shoved his way through the crowd and screamed for him.

Thor had turned.

Without thinking then, he had drawn his dagger, and stabbed Thor in the gut.

Roars filled his ears as Thor doubled over. The Jotuns were rushing towards him, but Thor stopped them with a wave of his hand.

The Aesir crowd did not even seem to notice the attack, reaching desperately for the supplies the Jotuns were handing out.

Two guards stayed close by them and if they did knew who Baldur was; they did not say a thing.

 _“How could you?!”_ Baldur remembered his words. They were angry, bitter, desperate and so full of hate.

Thor had only smiled.

 _“You do not ever have to forgive me”_ Thor told him. _“All I would have of you Baldur, is that you would live a life of peace without despair. That you will live joyfully for all of your days without fear or regret and in freedom under the sun”_

Truth, Thor traded love for hate, he traded honor for disgrace, traded freedom for bondage; and still he held his head high. He did it all for Baldur. So that his brother could be free to live under the sun of Asgard that he himself had grew up with.

Thor will not be so arrogant as to claim that he did it for his people. He did not. But if there are those who wish to think that is so, they are more than welcome to.

“I wished you would be there tomorrow” Baldur said.

“So do I. But I would not be welcome. I’ve pledge myself to Helblindi”

“So?”

“I am no longer Asgardian”

“Neither are you son of Jotunheim!” Baldur insisted. “You are my brother. And you will always be welcome on Asgard”

Thor simply smiled, looking ahead. Baldur knows not even half of what he has done.

Helblindi had asked him if he would like to stay for Baldur’s coronation. He did not. He would not have Baldur choose between his people and his traitorous brother because he knows Baldur would choose him. It is not right.

Asgard has no place for a turncoat like him; except the North perhaps, which Helblindi had opted to keep for the sake of Jotuns who wanted to stay.

 _“_ _Would you come with me then?”_ Helblindi had asked. _“Your council will be welcome on Jotunheim too especially when it comes to the matters of trading with Asgard or the other realms”_

 _“_ _I have served you faithfully all these years and I have done all I can for you, for Jotunheim, for Asgard”_ He had said. _“I will ask leave from my King if he will allow it”_

_“Where would you go?”_

_“I have a promise to keep”_

_“I have grown quite fond of you. Will you ever return to my court?”_

_“_ _Aye. We will meet again my King. I give you my word”_ Thor told him.

“You are late!” A voice jarred Thor into the present.

A little Jotun runt with a head full of snowy white hair that reached about his shoulder was pouting at them, his arms folded across his chest.

“Ikol” Thor greeted.

“You were supposed to be here five minutes ago!” He did not even seem to have heard Thor.

Ikol Farbautijarson, like many Jotun of his generation, had grown up between the realm of ice and fire. He is the youngest of Laufey’s children and according to Farbauti, was the splitting image of his sire in his younger days.

For years, something had niggled at the back of Thor’s mind whenever he looked at Ikol. And then it came to him unexpectedly when Ikol had asked why was it he did not have hair of gold like others of his size, which incidentally happens to be Aesir.

All of Laufey’s children with the exception of Loki were white of hair.

Perhaps Loki had taken after Farbauti? He cannot say for certain as the once Queen had always religiously kept his head clean shaven. Or perhaps…there is some basis to the rumor of the bastard child.

Admittedly Thor had been curious. He could have asked Helblindi about the shade of Farbauti’s hair, though it would be a very odd conversation, but he never did. Whatever it is, Loki was loved, Thor decided, and that’s all that mattered.

“You promise!” Ikol bound to them; immediately wrap his arms tightly about Baldur. “Dam said we would be leaving soon so you need to hurry! You promise you would show me the great falls!” Blood red eyes looked up upon Baldur’s azure ones.

Thor smiled.

Baldur sighs at the little shit attached to him. He swears one of these days, he is bound to forget to infuse seid into his clothes, preventing Ikol’s touch from destroying them, and there was going to be one Hel of a show.

Ikol was at most three hundred years younger than Baldur, but he acted younger still when compared to Aesir children of the same age. It seems that Jotuns mature at a slower pace than Aesirs.

“Yes little one” Baldur ran a gloved hand over the Jotun’s snowy hair that was cut exactly like his. 

The child has an obsession with him; wanting to be just like Baldur, much to Thor’s amusement and Baldur’s exasperation.

 

 

 

* * *

   

 

Darkness stretched as far as eyes could see and further still in the decadent realm of the dead. Wet noises whispered with every step and the mist thickened as Thor continues to move deeper. The trees that surrounded him were white like washed bones and they were bare and dry. Death hums, her sweet voice resonated in that desolated place.

Thor could hear the creaking of bones all around him, he could hear impish laughter and he could smell the scent of rot that clung to their skin.

 _“Ahead ahead… the Queen waits…yes she does…yes….”_ The creatures whispered over and over again.

He could not see them, but he could feel their cold creeping presence.

He continued walking until he saw it…

A throne of bones that seem to glow against the darkness. Thousands upon thousands of white skulls were stacked at its feet. Long bone, short bones, femur, ribs… all of them, they were arranged, packed and stacked so closely together to form the ivory throne. And upon the throne, was a woman with long wavy hair.

She wore a black corset, a shimmering dress of black and her pale arms were covered with black web like laces. And though she is facing him, there is a shadow that hides her face.

She may not be in the form of a child as Thor had once seen her an age ago, but Thor knows it is her.

Hela. The Queen of the Dead.

“The God of Thunder, the Lord of Storm” She declared. “Have my eyes deceived me?”

“Nay. I am he” Thor took another step and at once there was a sharp crack. He looked down and saw that he had broken a skull; and that the very ground leading to her death throne was paved with bones.

“I would stand there if I were you” Hela said. “No one can see the face of death, and live”

“Aye...” Thor hesitantly took a step back.

“Speak” She commands.

“I have come to make an offer” Thor said.

Hela wanted to laugh. _“Well father…you are more the Lord of Death than I ever am”_

Never had she thought the day would come that she would see the Golden Prince, the Golden King, the perfect son, before her, in her very halls. And for what? Not to destroy her, not to take her kingdom, but to make a deal with her…with death.

Then again, perhaps it is not so strange after all, considering what the Lord of Storm had done since the fall of Asgard.

 _“_ _The war killed the boy…and a man is born”_ Hela thought.

Thor is a traitor, a deceiver, and a murderer. He moves in the shadows while his King remains pristine and unaware. He opens the throat of those who plots against his King as they sleep.

He trades in secrets rather than gold. Secrets that could make or unmake any Lord or Ladies in all the five great realms, and he holds more secrets than even the best of Jotun and Aesir spy.

His body as much a weapon as Mjolnir ever was.

He betrays his brothers-in-arms and deceives the people who believed in him…for the _greater good_. And he sold his people to the enemy for the sake of the realm. Hela was sure there was an irony somewhere in there.

“I know why you are here” She said.

“Then you know what I ask for”

“Aye…” She smirks.

“Will you release him to me?”

“The only limit to my power is your imagination…I can make any dream, any fantasy a reality, for the right price” She said. “The question is…how much will you sacrifice for your dream”

“Anything you would ask for that is mine to give is yours”

The magnitude of Thor’s offer and the way in which Thor said it angered Hela. It was without hesitation, without fear, without doubt. Her fingers tightened over the smooth skull beneath her hands.

“Who is he that the voice that calms the seas would bear his debt? Who is he that a God would die in his place?!” She spat.

Loki is not worth this sacrifice. He is not!

The very thought that a monster like him could even be worth anything sickened Hela.

“Has that snake twisted your mind Son of Odin? Or is he truly so good that the fantasy that he would hold your little worm again renders you witless?!”

Thor did not respond. What is he to say? That he loves Loki?

To be certain he does… deeply, abundantly, utterly, absolutely.

But it is not a love that is possessive, it is not a love that is fanatical or a love that is prideful or a love so intense that it threatens to consume all of his mind and soul…it just simply is. A love that is unadulterated; neither by the lust of flesh nor the need to possess. It is a love that he could not explain, yet all he knows, is that it is real.

And Hela who is so full of hate and wrath would not understand it. So he said nothing.

She hissed, standing angrily to her feet. Her blood red eyes on the God before her.

“You think he will be yours in this life? You think he would love you this time?” She sneered. “I tell you truly Son of Odin, that monster bears no love for anyone but himself! He cannot change! And when all has come to pass, he will be back in Hel once again and your sacrifice would have been for naught!”  

 

 

* * *

 

 

Where once the thunder screams with the voice of Thor, where once the hurricane roars with the might of the Golden God and the rain weeps in his place, all these has come to pass.

Thor is still God, yes. But he is the God of nothing.

Hela took the power of storm from him, but not his soul. She dared not touch his soul for fear of the wrath of Odin. And she would not want to anyway, for she would have him watch as Loki spits at his sacrifice.

Thor leans against the wall; his hands in his jean pocket as he watched cars driving pass him.

The night wind blows, the street lamps flickered. The bar a few doors down was roaring and booming. Scantily clad woman wandered the street as thugs with booming stereos in their cars picked them up.

A black SUV with black tinted windows was parked at the end of the road; waiting for him should he wish to come back another night. There was really no need for it. He could make his way home if he truly want to, but when the captain insisted, and the man of iron latch onto the idea, all chances he ever had at winning this argument were lost.

 _“Why Midgard?”_ Thor remembered asking Hela.

 _"He is the crime that cannot be forgiven. Have I return him to Asgard or Jotunheim, he would certainly be killed. And you would have accused me of sabotaging our deal”_ Hela told him.

 _“How would I find him then? How would he appear?”_ He had asked.

Hela laughed at the question. _“You who loved him so much… can you not recognize him from voice alone? By the way he breathes, by his smell and the way his feet struck the earth?”_

For almost seven decades Thor searches for Loki on Midgard. He wandered from city to city, from country to country, never staying too long in the same place. Then one day he was approached by the Son of Coul with an offer he could not refuse. Join their team and they would help him search for whatever he was searching for as long as this thing was a non threat.

That was three years ago, and they have made good on their promise earlier in the day.

S.H.I.E.L.D. had only found Loki because Loki’s mug shots in the system had remained the same over sixty years. It was unnatural…

Natasha was the one who brought in the photos. He had stilled when he looked at the man staring back at him. He did not know how Loki would appear. But it seems Hela had given Loki his Aesir appearance.

 _“Where is he?”_ He had demanded at once.

The Avengers had remained sketchy about it. Not quite meeting his eyes, until Natasha grew tired of it and simply summarized Loki’s data for him as if she was reciting numbers from a phone book.

She told him that Loki lived in a not so decent neighborhood, alone most of the time, currently no known associates though he has quite a few lovers before, all which did not last; moves from place to place every few years and is currently an escort.

He knew she meant prostitute.

The Avengers had then looked at him expecting him to explode in a fit of rage; but he did not. He wasn’t even angry. But he could understand why they thought he would be _._

 _“He is a survival”_ He told them simply.

He never told the Avengers of the things that had happened...or what Loki had done, or what he himself had done. Comparing the things that has come to pass to what Loki is currently doing for a living; Loki is as pure as the highest priest of Asgard. 

Horns blared as a red car drove up to the bar.

“Get off!” Someone was shouting.

“I said eighty you fucking twit!”

“Shut up bitch!” A man was shoved out of the car and he fell hard on the pavement.

The car sped off without a care.

“Shit” The man cursed, looking at his bleeding hands.

Thor heart hammered hard against his chest as his cerulean eyes fell upon the injured man. He knows that face…. He knows him…without thinking, without even noticing, he moves towards the man as if he was enthralled by a siren.

The man…he was lean and fair; long jet black hair that reach his shoulders and eyes the color of the greenest blade of grass. He wore black hoody and skinny jeans. The side of his head was shaved and he has several black piercings along his ears.

“What are you looking at?!” The man snarled at the onlookers as he pushed himself up.

He stilled when he noticed the blonde next to him. At once he racked his brains trying to remember if he had ever stolen anything from him. If he did, it was high time he runs because the guy’s arm looked the size of his head. He really did not want to end up in the hospital again. He came up with nothing.

“You are bleeding” Thor reached in his pocket and pulled out some tissues.

“Um…thanks?” He took the tissues hesitantly, pressing them against the palms of his hand. It stung.

“I’m Thor” Thor introduced.

“Loki…” He smiles. The only reason why anyone would tell him their names was so that he could shout them when they fuck him or when he fucks them. So he went on. “Thirty for a hand job, fifty for oral, eighty if you want to fuck me and if you want to use toys or tie me up, it may cost more”

“Actually…” Thor started. “I was thinking we could go to this café that I know. It’s on me”

Loki frowned. Is this a joke? Or is the guy some serial killer? Who in hell ask for a date from someone like him?

“I’m working” Loki said deadpan.

He needed to work. His rent is coming up and if he didn’t pay it, he was going to be out on the street by the end of the bloody week. He gets sick often as it is; being out on the street would surely be the dead of him. He caught a pneumonia the last time he was caught in the rain.

“How much for the whole night then?” Thor asked.

Loki blinked.

“Is a thousand enough?” Thor pulled out his leather wallet.

Loki stared when Thor counted out ten of a hundred dollar bill.

“Will this be alright?” Thor looked at him.

Loki took it at once, stuffing them into his pocket. It’ll be enough to pay the rent and he could even get some fruits too from the market this week.

Thor smiled, resisting the urge to tuck Loki’s ebony bangs over the back of his ears.

“Well then…how may I please you my Lord?” Loki purred, wrapping his arms about Thor’s. Loki thought Thor’s smile falter for a split of a moment but he could not be sure.

“We can go to this café on the other block. I would like to get to know you” Thor said.

“Know me?”

“Aye…I want to know you. But you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to” Thor tells him. “We can just dine and you can go home if you prefer”

Thor brought them to a cozy little café.

Loki ordered French toast and apple pie. He did not speak much, but Thor did not mind. He smiled as he watched Loki wolf down his French toast and pie as if they were attempting to escape his plate.

Thor took a swallow of his beer.

When Loki had wrapped his arms about him before, Thor had immediately noticed how thin and small and weak Loki was against him. And he understood at once what Hela had done.

Hela had continued to punish Loki even if not in Hel. For Loki who coveted power so much, she had imprisoned him in a frail body.

 _“I swore to you that I will not let you come to harm…I intent to honor that vow even if you do not remember it…”_  Thor thought.

But it did not mean that Thor would cage him or force Loki to be his.

He loves Loki, and because he loves him, he will not take away his freedom. He will not take away his free will. Loki can live and love and do as he pleases; even if it meant in the end Loki would not choose Thor, even if in the end Loki would be lost to Thor again.

He owes Thor nothing. This life, this second chance, is a gift. Not a debt.

Whatever Loki chooses, Thor vows to always be his tower of refuge, his pillar of strength. And he will return Loki to Jotunheim one day when Loki is ready.

That is Loki’s heritage, that is Loki’s world…

He is the prince of Jotunheim. The beloved child of Laufey and Farbauti. Brother of Helblindi, Byleistr and Ikol…and Thor will never sought to rewrite who Loki is just because Loki will never have his memory back.

To be sure when Loki returns, there would be temptation towards black magic in that world of ice and fire…but Thor will take his chances.

Anyway, that will be thoughts for another day. Loki will not return for a time yet.

Thor wondered briefly if this was the future the old seer saw.

Thor finished his beer. He ordered another.

Whatever it is…he will fight for Loki’s heart and soul, he will believe in Loki, he will believe that he can change for the better even if no one would…for everyday, and with his every breath…because as long as there is life, there is hope.

“Are you going to finish that?” Loki asked, eyeing Thor’s half finish risotto.

“You can have it” Thor exchanged Loki’s empty plate for his. “And if you wish, you could pick whatever else you desire. We can have it packed for you to take home for tomorrow’s breakfast”

“What’s the catch?”

“None, my Prince” Thor smiled.

“Your prince?” A smile tugs at the side of Loki’s lips. “You are a strange one. Most men just call me ‘love’ or ‘darling’ or ‘baby’ if they are feeling nice”

“Well, I am not most men” Thor winked.

 

 

~ **The End** ~

 

 

 **Sonnet XVII --** Pablo Neruda  
  
I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,  
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.  
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,  
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.  
  
I love you as the plant that never blooms  
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;  
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,  
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.  
  
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.  
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;  
so I love you because I know no other way than this:   
  
where I does not exist, nor you,  
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,  
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the end... :) I hope you guys have enjoyed it. And I really want to thank all of you for sticking with me till the very end. ^^ 
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH!
> 
> Um...there could be a squeal if you guys like it. Or would anyone even want to read about Laufey and Farbauti and Thrym - their back story? Just wondering since I didn't really show them a whole lot in this story. Just a thought...


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